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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-26-12

 
Day 116
5 Pray for God’s justice, and do not confuse His mercy with your own insanity. Perception can make whatever picture the mind desires to see. Remember this. In this lies either Heaven or hell, as you elect. God’s justice points to Heaven just because it is entirely impartial. It accepts all evidence that is brought before it, omitting nothing and assessing nothing as separate and apart from, all the rest. From this one standpoint does it judge, and this alone. Here all attack and condemnation becomes meaningless and indefensible. Perception rests, the mind is still, and light returns again. Vision is now restored. What had been lost has now been found. The peace of God descends on all the world, and we can see. And we can see!

This one sentence is the answer to all injustice, to all judgment of every kind.

Perception can make whatever picture the mind desires to see.

I create my life through my perceptions. I perceive myself as a victim of the world and this is the life I live, victimized at every turn. I perceive myself as treated unjustly, and this is what life brings me. I perceive myself as guilt-ridden and it seems that everything I do brings shame to me. If I see myself as unworthy, I go through life with my head bowed and my eyes averted and it seems that everyone treats me as if I deserve to be ignored. My life will reflect whatever perception I have about myself.

I used to think that I saw myself as a victim because circumstances proved this to be true. I was born into a dysfunctional family and was a victim of that childhood. I was sexually abused as a young girl and was a victim of the damage that causes. We moved from place to place as I grew up and I was a victim of the sense of instability this caused. My childhood seemed to create a pattern of victimization that continued all my life and none of it was my fault. How could I be responsible for what happened to me as a small child? It must be true that I am a victim of the world I see. My whole life has proven this is true.

But, if my life reflects whatever perception I have about myself, then the perception came first. I am not this body, this personality, this life, not even the baby born innocent of separation beliefs. If I were then I would truly be a victim of the world. Everything I have ever thought I knew about myself was so wrong. I have the life that I asked for. I asked for victim stories and guilt stories. I believed in unworthiness and so I have life stories that reflect that belief.

When I first realized that I do not begin with my birth and that I am 100% responsible for everything and so had nothing or no one to blame for my life, I thought my life was a punishment. I had wrong minded thoughts and so I had a hard life. It was a “made my bed and now I have to lie in it” kind of attitude. But that belief was just another wrong perception which needed correction. My life is not my punishment for having untrue beliefs. It is my opportunity to heal the mind of these beliefs. I have all the stories I need to undo those beliefs. My life is everything I need to help me wake up. It is my pathway Home.

As I have allowed my perception to be corrected, I am able to observe the contrast between right-minded thinking and wrong-minded thinking without so much distress. I am not completely healed of this so I do still feel distress sometimes, but not nearly as often and not to the same degree as before. For instance, yesterday I looked at judgment and suffered the effects of believing my judgment. But I was not lost in the effects like I would have been in the past.

I was aware of what was happening so even though it was painful, I understood what was happening and I knew I would absolutely accept healing at some point. I hated the way I felt and I had the feelings that come with that kind of thinking, but I also remembered my purpose and knew that even this situation would be used for that purpose.

I love that I am using my life in this way. I am allowing the Holy Spirit to change my perception. My changed perception is bringing me peace and I will be able to truly see.

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