A New Way to See

Story for Mom

I had the following thoughts come to me after reading the day’s lesson.
The ego is constantly planning for the future, for it’s protection. But this is a lie, for Love cannot attack, and Love has no plan for vengeance on me. What is forever untrue cannot be made true by sick dreams and ghost images.

I need only forgive my dreams that make an alien will appear real. I can forgive the idea of a will separate from God’s. I can forgive the idea that I am alone and homeless in a vicious world. I can forgive the idea that I have contaminated myself and made myself unfit to be in Love’s presence. I can forgive every unloving thought by taking it to H.S. If I see such an idea in my world, I can be certain it is coming from my mind, and can give it to H.S. for sure correction. I cannot do this on my own, but by telling Him I am willing and want a change of mind it is done. As I am willing to choose for Love, this is where my true power lies.

“Forgiveness is the only gift I give because it is the only gift I want.” [Lesson 297]
Everything I give I give to myself.
This idea is ignored by the ego system. Whatever I have lost or appear to lack in myself—is a lie. I can take theses ideas to H.S. too.

What comes to mind is the childhood I experienced. My parents were not expressive or demonstrative in affection. In my dream I made up situations that would “prove” that the idea I was not lovable were correct.
I learned that it was not appropriate to express feelings. If I would have come out and asked my mother why she did not love me, I’m sure she would have been shocked. Of course she loved me and my brother, but that was something that you didn’t talk about.

Thankfully, with my study of ACIM, I realized I held a grudge against my mother. I prayed for help to forgive the mistaken beliefs I had made up about her. After a month or so, I had a night dream that made the shift in my mind. Spirit showed me the truth. The next time that I talked with my mom over the phone, I asked Spirit to give me peace in place of impatience that I usually felt when she told me of happenings that I had no interest in. And peace I did receive. As the conversation ended, I told my mom that I loved her. There was a short silence—she was surprised by this expression of love—and she responded that she loved me too.

Spirit supplied the truth in a way that I could accept, and I am forever grateful for that healing. It became a blessing to tell my mom that I loved her. I would tell her silently as well as spoken aloud. I am grateful that I could express the thought, give her a hug, letting her mind know that she was innocent. In my mind, her mistakes were undone.  Thank you Spirit, thank you Mom.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Fear Is Not Here

When I feel “badly” after noticing some ego thought popping up in my mind, even the slightest discomfort, is just more ego guilt. The ego trying to remind me that I am doing “it” wrong, because I am not following ACIM absolutely to the T.  The ego’s only option is to keep guilt and fear going, otherwise its gig is up, its tactics are revealed, and its cover is blown.

Some days I fall right back into the groove of the ego stories, other days are “better” when I give up some false idea to Holy Spirit for correction.
Some days as I open to Spirit’s insight I receive thoughts like the following:

Fear is not here unless I bring it with me. It is this I do when I cling to my past. For the ego system uses the past to define its justification for pain, attack and guilt. Then it proclaims that the future must be like the past, and makes the future full of fear. Is this what I want to teach and learn?

Holy Spirit would show me that the only time there is is Now. He will take my mistaken picture of myself and the world, and turn it around. Only my sick thoughts hold the past and bring it to the present. These are not thoughts that help or heal. These are not thoughts that I would keep.

I offer my desire to see things differently to Holy Spirit. I give up my meaning and make room in my mind for the truth that He gives. The seeming injustices of my life will fall away when I recognize they are meaningless. I will recognize that nothing was “done to me.”

I make a choice, and if necessary, choose again and again. I choose to let my past go. I choose to let Spirit show me what is real, giving up what is unreal. My dream is not valuable, but with the Guidance from Spirit this dream can serve a new purpose. A purpose to undo the dream of fear, and let the dream of forgiveness blossom in minds that appear to sleep. I am willing to have a dream of forgiveness replace my loveless dreams.  I am willing to see a happy dream.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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