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July-September, 2014

Trusting and CoCreating Despite “Reality”

by Rev. Andrea Sassa Archuletta, O.M.C.

I am continually learning to discern which motivations in my life are ego-driven and which are from my Inner Wisdom meant to help me fulfill my soul’s purpose while in this body as Andrea Sassa Archuleta. Wow, that’s a mouthful!

“OK. Let’s start simple,” I tell myself, because as I sort out what I am talking about I can easily get jumbled and confused. Which is okay too, but, well, here we go…

For many years I have had a desire to have a family, which for me is a husband and children. During the majority of what is labeled a woman’s childbearing years, I was a single professional devoted to my career and did not marry until my mid-forties. (Oh, you hear it already don’t you, that biological clock!) When the tick-tock of forty struck, I explored options for single parenting, but my heart never attached to any of them. I learned though what “family” meant to me - children and a husband - and that is now very valuable to know.

My husband and I are now contemplating whether to create children ourselves or whether to adopt. Right here, in this choice, is where I get jumbled and confused. Why?... well, I know dreams manifest in commitment. I spend time thinking about how a commitment to creating our own children might conflict with a commitment to adopting children. I then think we have to know which we want more, choose that path definitively, and then set sail towards achieving it. (Did you see that ego-word ‘achieve’ jump in there?!)

What I eventually realize, through guidance from my Inner Wisdom, is that I do not want to choose between biological or adopted children. As you can imagine my ego jumps all over me for this, so much yummy fodder for its torment, all of the impossibilities to having both or either. You know the rants — “Starting a family at your age, biological or adopted, are you crazy, where are you going to get the energy for that?” Or, “Biological children, did I hear you correctly old lady, do you think you have super-woman ovaries? Get real!” And the most insidious torment is this, “Don’t break your own heart by believing in this concoction. You know you are just setting yourself up for a big let down. Be practical and rational about this; women your age don’t make their own babies and they shouldn’t adopt them either.” This last one, a version of the dream-strangling play-it-safe and take-the-secure-path ego belief system, is corrosive to staying in tune with my Inner Wisdom. So are the other rants. Realizing I have free-will, a choice, the decision I arrive at is this: 

I am trusting my Inner Wisdom. I am knowing our family is being created right now with our biological and adopted children.

I confidently place my trust here because I know I am Creation — part of It and a Co-Creator with It. If I placed my trust in any form of limitation or lack — we are too old, I am too old, don’t let your heart be broken by crazy dreams — I would be affirming separation and guilt, choosing sacrifice, and ultimately denying my Inner Wisdom, the Will of God. 

What is the Will of God, [my Inner Wisdom]? He wills His [Daughter] have everything. And this He guaranteed when He created [her] as everything. It is impossible that anything be lost, if what you have is what you are. This is the miracle by which creation became your function, sharing it with God. (T-26.VII.11:1-5) (Italics added, emphasis in original)  

God’s [Daughter] could never be content with less than full salvation and escape from guilt. For otherwise [s]he still demands that [s]he must make some sacrifice, and thus denies that everything is [hers], unlimited by loss of any kind. A tiny sacrifice is just the same in its effects as is the whole idea of sacrifice. If loss in any form is possible, then is God’s [Daughter] made incomplete and not [her]self. Nor will [s]he know [her]self, nor recognize [her] will. (T-26.V11.14:4-8). (Italics added)  

Choosing openness to Creation, I live in the richness and wonderment of hope-filled expectation. I choose not to embark upon the sacrificial path of self-crucifying grief, ruminating over what appears to be “reality,” because I know better. I know crucifixion in any form is nothing more than separation. Joyfully, I relinquish participating in the ego’s “reality” of data justifying beliefs in lack, medical constructs supporting beliefs in physical limitations, and any beliefs serving the ego’s goal of keeping me separate from the power of Co-Creation, the Will of God, and instead use the power I Am. 

To use the power God has given you as He would have it used is natural. It is not arrogant to be as He created you, nor to make use of what He gave to answer all His [Daughter’s] mistakes and set [her] free. But it is arrogant to lay aside the power that He gave, and choose a little senseless wish instead of what He wills. The gift of God to you is limitless. There is no circumstance it cannot answer, and no problem which is not resolved within its gracious light. (T-26.VII.18:1-5) (italics added)       

Through discernment I am trusting in a miracle, A Course in Miracles type miracle. The miracle on its face is creating a family with my husband. The manifestation of the children though is the effect of a healed cause, a cured mind, my healed mind. I create and then accept this healing by knowing that our family, whatever we will look like, is being created right now because I am trusting my Inner Wisdom, surrendering to the lead of gracious light, and “abid[ing] in peace, where God would have [me] be.” (T-26.VII.19:1)

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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