Realizing God's Will Is Oneness

By Rev. Barbara Kraetsch

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Sharing Jesus’ Experience of God’s Love

I am currently working on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius for twelve weeks as an adjunct to my ACIM work. I have been asked to share my journal of daily meditations here on this minister journal, and I am going to do so in the hope that it will be as helpful to others as it is to me.

The dedication on my personal journal book is as follows:
This book is dedicated to realizing the experience of God’s love. In all that I am and all that I see. In myself and others. In the grand and the small. In the unusual and the everyday.

In all there is God. I would experience this. And set that experience into a communication I can share with others for I would and do share God’s grace.

May I be blessed over and over and share my blessings as I do these spiritual exercises. May my deepest purpose unfold. May I live the experience of God’s love in my life.

I ask for the Bread of Life, confident that my Father wills this for me and that Christ shares with me His awareness of our Father’s love.
_____________

First Entry

Jesus said, I am the good shepherd; I know mine and mine know me even as the Father knows me and I know the Father.

What came to me is how much Jesus knew the experience of God’s love. He knew in a deep and powerful way that he was loved, that he was one with God. This experience permeated his being. It was the basis for all his teaching and sharing. His very presence radiated the confidence he felt about this truth. It went beyond words. It went beyond parables. There was a living presence of God about him that was compelling to all who were open to also experiencing God’s love.

I would know that same confidence in God’s love to the core of my being. Not just lovely words and prayers, lovely thoughts and feelings, but deep in the core of my being, really know it as much as one can know it, to experience it in a way that totally sustains me. Jesus knew this experience was his nourishment. It sustained him. He had total conviction because his level of awareness was so great. He was so secure in his awareness of God’s love that he was gentle and kind, but firm. There was only room in his life for the truth.

Jesus looked lovingly on all, knowing they were one with him in God’s love. He knew that whatever he did for others he was doing for himself as well because he saw no differences or distinctions. He saw each as a Child of God, no more and no less.

Some experiences cannot be put into words, but the fruits of the experiences or the blossoms that stem from them can. This was the way of Jesus. This would be my way as well. I desire to be so secure in God’s love that I experience it beyond words. And I also desire to be able to express in some way in the world what blossoms from that to be helpful to my fellow humanity. So many books have been helpful to me to realize more. Perhaps I could be helpful to others in the same way.

In my mind, I saw the oldsters at the care center where I am currently spending some time helping the administrator, and my attempts to help create a beautiful environment for them. I saw that I was one with them, not in body or personality or attitude, but something deeper. We share being created by God from His love. There is something profoundly satisfying in thinking about this. It goes beyond imagining their light present. It goes beyond what I may think about them or they may think about me - whether they approve of me or not, like me or not in the body experience. God’s love has nothing to do with this. God’s love is an unconditional presence. Love is always complete, whole and undivided. Love goes beyond thought and feeling. It is present to be experienced.

At times I catch glimpses of this. There is a recognition that seems profound but is fleeting. Holy instants here and there in which God’s love seems clear, but then the awareness slips away in the details of ordinary life where we seem to be in separate bodies. Jesus knew the truth of oneness and lived from this truth. Oneness seemed more real to him than the world of earth, but the earth did not jar him or befuddle him. He seemed to mostly not be frustrated by it. He treated it all kindly and with forgiveness - “they know not what they do.”

Jesus lived from great awareness of truth, yet with gentleness and patience in the everyday of things. This takes great mindfulness. This takes surrender to what is seeming to be, without struggle, simply knowing it all to be false. All conflict, fear-defense-attack, is false, a concoction of the human ego mind. It is not of God who created only love from His abiding perfect love. Jesus did not resist the false of the world. He merely loved. He was a good shepherd to all, not just some but all, because he knew none were excluded from God’s kingdom of love. He came to experience this so profoundly that it became a part of all he said and did, all he thought, a part of his unconscious mind, a part of his energy or essence here.

God has sent the Holy Spirit to help us realize truth. Christ is one with us as Child of God. God’s love for us is supreme. Yet still we cannot come to full realization of our creation. How is this? It would seem impossible that we would still entertain thoughts of separation from God and from the Spirit of God in each other. Our truth is only Spirit, yet we are thinking we are in body. Why is the truth so difficult to live, to remember? Perhaps we need the experience behind the thoughts and words to nourish us, to sustain us, to make it all clear in our minds so that they are changed. Perhaps we need the experience to let go of doubts and questions, to know as Jesus did that God’s love is always present in a real way.

I sit in quiet waiting for this experience. I go forth helping others waiting for this experience. The more I struggle to obtain more of this experience, it seems the further it slips away. Jesus did not appear to be in any struggle to realize God’s love. He let it simply flow through him. He said of himself he could do nothing, that the Father did all. I now ask that I be healed. I see I cannot do it myself. No amount of meditation or service to others will earn for me greater realization of what already is. I desire only to accept the truth and to experience in a real way God’s love in my life. Perhaps we are simply graced with this by asking. Perhaps we are graced as we practice acceptance of what is. I do not have the answer. I have only the model of living in Jesus.

I am one with the experience of Jesus at a deep or high level. I ask that a thread of awareness open to this. He is the door, the shepherd - the way is through him. May the door be opened to me, I pray. Let it be opened to me. Yes, the door is always open, but my realization of it seems not to be. What more can I ask than this? There is nothing more to ask than this. Ever. Ever. And so I ask with confidence that this asking and answering is God’s will for me, as it is for all. All to ask. All to be answered. Love flows to all Children of God continuously, uninterrupted by forgetfulness. Yet the awareness of God’s love is everything there is to have. I ask to have it.

I am grateful for how far I have come, and how many blessings have been bestowed on me, personal and powerful blessings. Yet I seek ever more awareness of God’s love. I would have it all. I would have no obscurities to its clarity and conviction. I give all such obstacles to Holy Spirit. I will not struggle with them today, but give them gladly to Him. Amen

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Barbara Kraetsch.

Keeping My Eye on the Prize of Oneness

How does one walk in the world of form and yet keep focused on the world beyond, the world of Oneness? I have found myself considering this question in a new way over the last few months. I found that toward the end of 2005 I was exhausted and needed a little time away from my normal routine. Some people might call this burn-out, but I preferred to believe that I just needed a little pause to refresh myself. Instead of the slow down that I planned, what happened was a speed up. All of a sudden, at the end of a busy year when I felt that I needed a break, my life became even busier. At first I felt resentful at all the activity and people who seemed to invade the quiet space I longed for and felt I deserved after working so hard for a long time. Everything seemed to be in the way of my walk toward expressing who I am with God.

The question of who I am with God became a burning call to me. I thought I could find the answer best in solitude with meditation, quiet prayer and journaling, as I had before. Yet, there came these unexpected new activites and opportunities, all requiring decisions. Not everything can we say no to, nor do we want to, knowing in our heart that circumstances and events have appeared for good reason. These new activities at first appeared to be those I considered outside of my ministry work, distractions to my growth which I thought took place best in calm days following extended early morning meditations. I felt that my once normal routine had completely disappeared and I was in a gigantic waterfall that was sweeping me away downstream to a destination unknown.

Years ago, before being an ACIM student, my life followed a pattern of being guided by a sense of intuition that I didn’t always try to name. I more or less followed my sense of knowing, which I often felt right down the center of my body - that “gut feeling” that everyone knows within themself, but can’t quite define. When I followed it, my life went well. When I didn’t follow it, well, let’s just say I chose some challenging lessons in learning to follow that “gut feeling.” My only concern was trying to pay attention to that sense of knowing. After studying the Course for several years, I identified this sense of knowing as the Voice of Holy Spirit. However, I have just recently recognized that I didn’t stop with this simple identification. I complicated the listening in my mind, and simple knowings were no longer good enough for me. Now I had to have messages in words that came after lengthy meditations, and these words had to have a certain quality to them that seemed other-worldly. My meditation and prayer time had increased to the point where it became the focal point of my life. I spent much time in Course “work” and yet I was a little confused about life, and flustered with all the activity taking place in it. My thoughts were a jumble. I felt I had come to the point where I truly admitted I had no answers and they did not seem to be coming from further extending my meditation or journaling time.

As my life seemed to be in a flow of great activity that I seemingly had not planned for, I chose to just give myself over to it because it was there and things needed to be done. For the last month or so, I have not been in very much formal meditation time, but rather just a few minutes here and there. I found myself checking in with my inner or “gut” feelings, rather than my inner thoughts. If it felt joyful or “right,” I went with it. And if I didn’t, I asked for help, not only from Holy Spirit but also those around me. I was honest that sometimes I did something because it was loving service to others, not necessarily because it was fun. I owned my feelings and the direction they took me. It didn’t seem as if the guidance came from outside me, but was rather my own. As I listened to my own inner feelings and honored them, I felt connected to my Self in a powerful new way.

I found that my old definitions of myself seemed to be fading into the background of my mind and new ways of perceiving emerging. I no longer felt so sure of who I was in the world. Once I would have felt frightened of letting go of ways I became comfortable with, ways I concluded served me and the world well. For some time I have looked to the Voice of Holy Spirit for guidance in certain forms that I became comfortable with. But when my life schedule changed dramatically, these forms didn’t seem to work for me any more. I had to struggle to try to make my former meditation time work, and even with all my struggling to make it work, it simply didn’t. As I let go of trying so hard to make my old schedule work for me and just went with the flow of the activity and where the “isness” of my life was taking me, something miraculous happened.

I no longer felt the Voice of Holy Spirit was outside and apart from me. It was not a Voice I had to look for to recognize and accept guidance or advice. I did not have to find a certain time or place to listen. I found that the Voice of Holy Spirit lives in me as me. As I listened to my inner feelings and knowings that were a part of me, more or less all the time, not just at formally prescribed times, I found myself feeling whole and one with God. I no longer felt there was a separate voice to turn to, but the Voice for God was me, within me, part of me. It is a remembering to experience the feelings and thoughts of God as me, rather than listening for words of wisdom to tell me what to do.

I very often now have an experience that I am who I am with God. Yes, I still think I am in a body, but I also feel as if I am experiencing being part of God exactly where I find myself. At this moment it seems to be in a body. At the next moment it might be without a body. It makes no difference. We are who we are no matter where we think we are. We can keep out eyes on this prize and yet be patient with where we are and who we are with in the body world, not rushing through the experience because we think it is not as valuable as being in Spirit only. As I went beyond my usual boundaries and definitions that I had of myself as being a certain kind of person with certain talents, and gave myself over to the unknown, I found a reservoir of strength which is in me. Who I am with God began to come into my conscious awareness, not as I struggled to obtain this awareness in certain ways, but as I let it live in me as I went about my daily activities. I felt one not only with myself, but with everyone and everything, as well.

Occasionally I close my eyes for a moment and focus on knowing who I am, and knowing all is well everywhere in my life. I experience myself as being past this body life feeling exactly the same way, wherever or however that may be. It really makes no difference if I think I am in a body or think I am without a body. There is no reason to choose one over the other as being better or more valuable. It is the state of mind of knowing I am one with God, a real part of God in everything I am or do that is important. Then it seems I can truly relax in whatever situation or event I have made for myself to experience who I am and just experience myself as present in the moment. I no longer feel as I have to push away the present and rush to a different moment to experience God, as if that moment or decision were better than what simply is already.

For the last year or so I found myself terribly frustrated with body life. I judged it to be inferior to life in Spirit. I wanted to be through with it and all the obstacles I had made to keep me away from greater awareness of God’s presence. I found solace in the quiet life I had built for myself, away from the hustle-bustle of the world. I thought this life was holier than a busy life filled with endless new activities and people. What I found through my willingness to embrace a different way to be, was a recognition that I did not need so much quiet time to listen to Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is in me, a part of me, and therefore I can always listen. In fact, I cannot help but listen because it is my own deep feelings and awarenesses, which I own, that I am listening to. Gone are fears that I may be listening incorrectly to ego shoutings. Of course, they are mixed into the deep mind, but that’s just the way it is as we think we experience body life. It truly is no sin to listen to heartfelt feelings and follow them - this is the stuff of our experience in the life we chose to make. Keeping our eye on the prize is what is important, not any little missteps along the way. As I keep more focused on oneness, I experience more oneness. It is simply there to be counted on in every way.

As I live connected to more of all that I am, I find myself not making so many “big deals,” and not being so anxious about outcomes and consequences. I am more able to relax and enjoy the experience I am having without having to define it as good or bad, happy or sad. Life has become an experience, that’s all, just an experience. It’s not reality. My reality is who I am with God, and that is always with me regardless of the experience I have made. I am finding that this is a happy way to live. I always thought I would find this awareness through a life geared primarily to meditation. But instead I found this awareness by going over the waterfall, by joining in the experience of life with my brother and sister in the Divine Plan of God as It is unfolding in each moment. I found God by being a part of life as it is rather than apart from life as it is. I am keeping my eye on the prize of oneness by being one with my experience as it is right now, and letting who I am with God be present. As I do this, the prize of Oneness is mine already. It is not something to struggle for. It is something to accept as it already is because Oneness lives through me. Now I truly know that I make the world a place of joy by remembering who I am.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Barbara Kraetsch.

I have already chosen what You will. Lesson 329

I have chosen peace long ago and yet now in this instant, for they are all the same to God Who lives only in the holy instant of His creation as it unfolds to Him. I have chosen God’s love as my own for it is my own. I acknowledge this cannot be changed in any way. I acknowledge God’s Will as true and there is no other will but His. I accepted this is true as I was created, true for always. I have already chosen God with my truest Self. My feeble attempts to think otherwise cannot change this solemn bond between God and His Son. How silly to think that I could change what is true. What am I thinking?

God of love and peace, I am Yours. Let me see and feel this truth today. Let me be aware of Your Loving Presence and that I am one with this. Let this be my awareness today, what I have already chosen and still choose with the help of Holy Spirit. I would be only Your loving presence wherever I find myself because in truth I can only find myself in this.

I find comfort in my choice, knowing it is already decided and complete. It already is in being. It already lives. All I need do is remember my choice with the help of Holy Spirit. Heal my mind, Holy Spirit. Remove all obstacles to remembering the truth of my choice, God’s Will for me. Please let all obstacles be seen for what they are, merely mistakes in thinking to be easily corrected by You. I merely follow Your lead. I would go second to find my first choice, my only choice. Lesson 328, “I choose the second place to gain the first.” My first place is with God. You lead me there, Holy Spirit.

Please, Holy Spirit, take my willingness and magnify it, enlarge it, perfect it in Your mighty love. I would live only what I have already chosen, God’s Will. There is nothing more important to me than this. But I also rest easy knowing my choice already is and my remembering at any moment is not necessary for it to be true. I am grateful for remembering, all remembering, but I leave my healing in Your hands. You are my Teacher, my Divine Therapist, my Healer. You know best my path of remembering truth and so I trust You today in everything. I trust what already is, even if I remember it not totally.

My peace is great in my trust in You, Holy Spirit. I leave my mind open to You in gratitude and trust. You are ever gentle and kind. All is well, however it is. This I accept today with Your help. You ferry me to my appointed place in God’s Will. I place myself in Your hands.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Barbara Kraetsch.

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