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April-June, 2020

Disagreements? Pause

by Mary Lenihan, Founder of PauseForInspiration.org

There is probably not a day that goes by that we don’t disagree with someone on something. Is it possible that most disagreements will not amount to anything? Would it be such a big deal to simply let it go?

Five Job Corps students practiced Pause, Step Back, Step Aside and Let Inspiration Guide during a disagreement and experienced the following:

1. I realized that I don’t need this person’s approval.

2. It’s not worth the conflict, so I just walked away.

3. I saw where this could lead so I agreed to disagree.

4. I heard in the pause to not say what I was about to say, but I did and now I’m paying for it.

5. A friend brought someone I didn’t know to a party and they asked me to get in this guy’s car. We disagreed about what to do. I paused, heard in my mind not to get in the car and I didn’t get in the car.

Pause tips that may come in handy when disagreements arise:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Pause. It is up to you. Imagine pausing as absorbing a   moment’s peace. Let pausing restore you to your Inspired Mind.

2. Admit to Yourself How Your Thoughts, Words and Actions Contributed to the Disagreement. Usually the me-character is defending itself because it wants its own way; it doesn’t want to change. Pause for a change — for safe, wise and truly helpful thoughts, words and actions.

5. Ask Yourself, “What Am I Really Upset About?” Often we are upset about something else. Pause and ask your Inspired Mind to show you what’s really bothering you and listen for the solution.

The St. Louis Job Corps students are learning to use the practice of Pause when encountering disagreements to help prevent escalation and promote communication. We pause, not to deny the problem, not to shove down various emotions. Instead you are practicing getting out of your own way, which allows room to see another way, and being willing to see what would be truly helpful now.

Oh, when I don’t think I have time to pause, I pause twice as long!

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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