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The Ego in Disguise

by Rev. Larry Glenz

Does the ego sometimes disguise itself as Holy Spirit? For seven years my son Kevin has been battling an insidious addiction to opiates such as oxycontin and heroin. Trying to “fix” Kevin by forcing him into inpatient and outpatient rehabs has never had the desired effect. Society teaches that our role as parents requires us to protect our children. What kind of parent sits back and watches his son destroy his life without making every effort possible to save him? But whose hand am I holding when I make all these desperate attempts to force him back into a program of recovery – the ego’s or the Holy Spirit’s?

I thought I had learned a lesson in this. When I first found out that Kevin had become addicted to oxycontin in college, I did the responsible thing. I set up an intervention with the people I knew he most loved and respected. Since Kevin was a quality athlete – a Division 1 scholarship lacrosse player at the University of Massachusetts – I recruited his college and high school coaches in the intervention process. I tried to cover every base in making sure that Kevin would stop his use of these dangerous drugs and restore himself to a productive path that would allow him future success in the world. He didn’t like that I exposed his drug use. Whose hand was I holding then — the ego’s or the Holy Spirit’s?

After returning to college and having a successful senior year as a student athlete, he relapsed again. Although he would eventually graduate, he had no coping skills for his disease and didn’t appear to want to develop any. After many more efforts, I finally surrendered — or at least I thought I did. Although Kevin’s addiction progressed, I continued to love him anyway while following my Al-Anon slogan, “Let go and let God.” I asked my Higher Power for guidance and received the answer, “Just love him anyway. You have no idea what he needs to go through.”

I trusted Holy Spirit’s advice and watched him slowly deteriorate over the next year. Then a “miracle” took place. His 40 year old cousin, Rob, visited New York from Iowa and offered him a fresh start. If he agreed to go to rehab for 28 days in Iowa and commit to a program of recovery, he could live and work with him. Rob is a very solid guy and loves Kevin. Feeling that he was at rock bottom, Kevin wanted to accept Rob’s help. He decided on his own to go to Iowa, get clean, and start a new life of recovery in the Midwest. A miracle had taken place.

For almost a year, Kevin was devoted to recovery. He was going to meetings, working two jobs, and taking college classes toward a new career. He lived with Rob and his wife, Marla. He had a new girlfriend. He was happy, healthy, and proud of his recovery. We both agreed that one of the best parts of his recovery was how our relationship as father and son had been restored to the good old pre-addiction days — even if we were a thousand miles apart.

When he informed me that his girlfriend Melanie was pregnant, the news certainly made me apprehensive. Kevin seemed excited, however, about being a father. Although I wouldn’t have chosen this challenge for him so quickly in his program of recovery, I continued to ”let go and let God.”  That is until he relapsed. Once Melanie had called me to say she found syringes and drug paraphernalia in his car – I was on the first plane out of New York to get him back into rehab. Whose hand was I holding then — the ego’s or the Holy Spirit’s?

Kevin resisted going back into rehab and resented me for coming to Iowa and causing trouble. His cousin Rob and girlfriend Melanie were supportive, however.

The baby was due in less than one month and Kevin had already accumulated substantial debts due to his drug use. When Kevin continued to resist rehab, we had Rob and Melanie apply to the court for a “civil committal.”

Two sheriffs picked Kevin up at his job on a court order and took him to rehab against his will. I went back to New York convinced that I had done the responsible thing for Kevin, Melanie, and the baby. But whose hand was I really holding when I did this — the ego’s or the Holy Spirit’s?

A beautiful baby girl, Olivia Christine, was born on Oct. 11, 2009. Kevin is still not committed to recovery. Melanie and Kevin don’t trust each other but live together with the baby. Kevin still resents my interference. Melanie greatly appreciates my efforts. Rob will help Melanie and Olivia in any way he can; but he’s down on Kevin for his refusal to stay in recovery.

I’m back to “letting go and letting God” and still wondering if the ego is disguising himself as the Holy Spirit when I turn to Him. Some say the best way to tell is whether or not I feel peace. I felt little peace during that whole ordeal. 

I know if I am mistaking the ego for the Holy Spirit, I will get another chance, many chances, to get it right. I am committed to asking for His help in making my decisions and expect to improve my ability to recognize the ego’s disguise.

Rev. Larry Glenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Island, New York.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Letting Go of Our Addictions!

by Rev. Sharyn Zenz

As I lay awake unable to go to sleep, I decided to ask Spirit for an article for Miracles News and this is what I received:

All of the addictions of this world are nothing more than our thoughts about the addictions. Whether it is thoughts of alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, eating, or playing the same tapes over and over and over again in our minds, these are nothing but thoughts that we choose to join with (the ego’s thoughts) to create our life situations!

This world that we live in is the ego’s world. Therefore, all the thoughts that we think with the ego are thoughts of addictions. We think that one more drink will make us happy, or if we just have one more “hit” of that particular drug we will feel so much better, or if we just had enough money to buy that house we like so much or that car, we will be happier.

Some of us get caught up in the ideas that certain foods will cause us to become fat, or certain foods are healthier than others, or if we just stay under a certain weight we will be healthier and look better! All of this is addictive thinking of the ego which will keep us spinning around and around in circles. The ego thoughts are very addicting and until we realize this, our happiness will never be found.

It seems like all these thoughts that I think are like one big cesspool of “stinkin thinkin.” When I buy into other people’s thoughts and believe that their thoughts are truer than mine, I am really buying into their ego thoughts, in addition to the ones I have already filled my mind with! The more I just go along with the program and leave my mind on automatic pilot, the more I allow my life to be run by ego.

That is why it is so very important to “stop” all of these thoughts by asking myself some questions. Each time I question a thought and don’t allow the ego to take it and run, I am coming closer and closer to my happiness. For my only happiness lies in God, and as A Course in Miracles says in lesson 101, “God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.” That lessons states that pain is but the sign that I have misunderstood myself.

My happiness begins when I start to question the thoughts I am thinking. It is only then that I will see that by letting go of the thoughts within my mind and taking those thoughts to Holy Spirit for healing, my happiness will grow and my joy will increase. Letting go and letting God is the only way to heal my mistaken thoughts. When I question my thinking and ask myself if this thought brings me peace or if this thought brings joy to my life or if this thought is for my highest good, my healing begins. I become willing to let go of the cesspool of thoughts that did not serve me. I start to realize that there is a better way.

The Truth only comes when I am willing to lay down my own thoughts and ask to see that thought through the eyes of Christ. When I do that and take each thought to Spirit, I am shown a “new” way to look at this thought or situation. It is always a way that on my own I would never have thought of! I don’t have any answers on my own, but when I go to the One who does have them, it is like I am lifted up and held in the arms of a gentle loving soul. I am carried by One who loves me even more than I am loving myself by allowing those ego thoughts to run my life.

God’s love for us is so great and we have no idea of the immense feeling it is. We can’t even imagine it! Wow, what a great place to go and ask forgiveness for my mistaken thoughts. I couldn’t even imagine going to anyone else. There is no one else to go to… only God.

Only what is loving is true. Therefore, since God only knows of Love and nothing else, where else is there to go? It makes perfect sense for me to go to the One whose only Will for me is perfect happiness. Doesn’t it to you?

When I close my eyes and ask Spirit for words of wisdom on this subject, this is what I hear: The world would have you believe that letting go of addictions is hard. It is not! It is only a change of mind and I am here to help you with that. I will help you replace those thoughts with thoughts of love, kindness, patience and peace.

Be patient with yourself as I am with you. Love yourself as much as I love you. Be kind to yourself as I am always kind to you. Since I only see your innocence, please see it for yourself. I am very patient with you. I wait for you no matter how long it takes you to come to Me. Have this degree of patience with yourself.

Laugh with Me and stop taking everything so seriously. Nothing is serious except My Love for you. Only your thoughts of Love mean anything. Let all the other thoughts go and realize that they do not serve you. Remember to stay only in your and My business and out of anyone else’s business. Be gentle and kind to yourself when you forget the Truth and know that I am always with you. You can’t be without Me. It is impossible.

Thank you Holy Spirit, thank you. I feel so loved after those words. Remember these words are for all of us, as there is only Oneness. Love to all of you and have a very happy New Year.

Rev. Sharyn Zenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. She serves as the Office Liaison for Students/Facilitators at Pathways of Light.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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The Pilgrim

by Rev. Veronika Wilcox

  I had heard on the radio about a pilgrimage a woman did in Spain. I was so touched by this report that I decided to keep a diary of my own ‘pilgrimage’ which I called ‘from fear to Love’. One day a summing up of this inner pilgrimage came to me:

The Pilgrim has to have a steadfast step.

The Pilgrim is also not impulsive.

She knows that to quiet her mind and listen is step number one.

Even though the goal, the return or awakening to Oneness is clear, the pathway is not.

The Pilgrim stops frequently and says “I want the peace of God” and then sees where this leads her.

A Pilgrim could be tempted to become very busy planning the pilgrimage. This is a mistake for “I need do nothing.”

TRUST is the staff to lean upon. And trust is only needed for one step at a time.

It is also good to start at the beginning and not think that there are steps that the Pilgrim can ignore.

And where would the beginning be but with God!

What this all sums up to is that the leadership of the daily self is given over to the Higher Self. He is the Guide now.

The rushing times are over. Peace is not a future event the Pilgrim needs to go to. It is in the eternal NOW of the inner stillness.

Of course the daily self only knows of the horizontal line. A moving from past to future.

This is not so on this pilgrimage. The heights of the inner Light are given space and the depth of the deep inner silence are explored.

This is not achieved without meeting the ‘Double’, the dark and hidden part of ones self.

Yet, the Pilgrim is not alone. Many Helpers from the spirit world are at Her side. They shine the Light for her, should she fail to see her own.

There are also many others on this pathway Home. She might never meet them, but they are there in spirit and the support coming from this gives strength and courage.

Pilgrim on earth, your Home is within you. And it is the peace of God which cannot be understood because it can only be experienced. AMEN.

Rev. Veronika Wilcox is a Pathways of Light minister living in Bega Valley, New South Wales, Australia.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A Christmas Illusion

by Rev. Joanne Schneider

As the Christmas holidays approached, the usual (or I should say insane) family dynamics began. My sister, who comes in from out of town every other year, announced that if I brought someone outside of the family to our family Christmas gift exchange, she and her family would not be there.

She believed this was a time for only family and outsiders should not be present. I had already invited a friend of mine who could not go home for the holidays and would therefore be alone. Needless to say, this became a big issue very quick. My sister called my mother and father who were dumbfounded by her demands.  Never would they exclude someone who would be alone over Christmas.

As the days progressed, my mother talked to my two brothers and their wives who were completely accepting of an outsider joining our Christmas activities. But my sister would call my parents regularly and continued to debate the issue. My parents were quite distressed.

Then during one of those phone calls, my mother, in an attempt to appease my sister, asked her to tolerated the outsider this year and promised that no outsiders would be invited any future years when my sister and her family plan to visit for Christmas (every other year).  As you can imagine, I went in and out of various levels of anger over the approaching few days before Christmas thinking about my sister’s demands and my mother’s promise.

Then one day, during my prayer time, I read about true prayer. Jesus tells us in the Song of Prayer, “Praying to Christ in anyone is true prayer because it is a gift of thanks to His Father.” (S-1.I.7:1)

This was difficult for me. With my egoic mind I knew that Christ is in my sister and my mother, but praying to that Christ in them would be difficult. How was I to pray to that Christ? In the Song of Prayer Jesus also says, “Prayer is a stepping aside; a letting go, a quiet time of listening and loving.  It should not be confused with supplication of any kind, because it is a way of remembering your holiness.” (S-1.I.5:1-2) 

I knew that meant their holiness also. I decided that instead of looking for some resolution to this issue, I would do as Jesus instructed, I would let go and have a quiet time of listening and loving.

So in my meditation, after the usual chatter of thoughts, I saw my sister, my mother, Jesus, and me standing in a semicircle. Then our physical forms fell away and our Spirits were there as light beings.  Then the light being of God moved to complete the circle and eventually moved to the inside with the four of us around Him blending with His Light. Sitting with this image for a while, I realized that others could join the circle and almost immediately a couple of other light beings, reflecting physical forms with whom I hold grievances, joined the circle of light and blended with God. 

I came out of this meditation relieved but I knew that, until Christmas, I would have to spend more time in the prayer Jesus describes, a time of letting go, listening, and loving.

During the next few days, Spirit again directed me to the words Jesus gave us. “When someone calls for help in any form, He is the One to answer for you. All that you need do is to step back and not to interfere. Forgiveness-for-salvation is His task, and it is He Who will respond for you.” (S-2.III.2:5-7)

I do not need to worry. Again, my part is simply to step back. “Let Him take charge of how you would forgive, and each occasion then will be to you another step to Heaven and to peace.” (S-2.III.3:4)

I started seeing the pattern. I need to do NOTHING! I listen for His guidance. I let Him be in charge of my forgiveness. But being the “doer” that I am, I was not sure how to DO that, nothing. What should I really DO to step back and let Him take charge?  The Holy Spirit pushed me further. “Forgive him as the Christ decides you should, and be His eyes through which you look on him, and speak for Him as well. He knows the need; the question and the answer. He will say exactly what to do, in words that you can understand and you can also use. Do not confuse His function with your own.  He is the Answer. You the one who hears.” (S-2.III.5: 5-10) 

Wow, there it was! I heard that I should look at my sister and mother through Christ’s eyes and listen for His words. And, because “Christ is the Self the Sonship shares…” (T-15.V.10:10), I heard that I was to look through the eyes of the single Self, the Sonship and part of the Trinity, as Jesus would look upon them. And Jesus assured me, “Do you but listen. For He will be heard by anyone who calls upon His Name, and places his forgiveness in His hands.” (S-2.III.6:5-6) So this Christmas provided a healing experience for me, an occasion for “another step to Heaven and to peace.”

Rev. Joanne Schneider, PhD, OMc is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Louis, Missouri.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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