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The One About th Jaguar

by Rev. Stephan Mead

“Dad, I’m not going to be in town for Fathers’ Day” my son informed me. It was a couple of days before June 19th.

I am part of a large family (3rd out of 9 children) and both my mom and dad passed away during the last 18 months. Father’s Day was always celebrated as an extended family affair. My brothers and sisters, spouses, our children, our children’s children, etc., would gather together for fun, fellowship, gratitude and feasting. Truly, the Walton family had nothing on us, except our jokes with each other would have never passed the TV censors.

So when my son told me about his out of town plans, it just brought up some sadness that a long tradition had ended, or perhaps more spiritually correct, a tradition was going to change. I hadn’t thought that to my children just being with me on Father’s Day was any big deal because, as is often the case, I was absorbed in my own situation of feeling loss and the emotional companions that accompany that feeling.

“Hey, no problem at all.” I replied to my son, “we’ll get together when you get back from the coast. I immediately started thinking about my three daughters, “would they want to get together on Sunday?” “Dad,” my son interrupted my thoughts, “Since I won’t be here Sunday, I want to give you your present today.” “Don’t worry about any present,” I said, “just getting together later will be present enough.”

Apparently a simple reply like “thank you” wasn’t in my vocabulary. I noticed my son seemed a bit uneasy, vocal expressions of love don’t come easily to him. (Passed on from his mothers’ side of the family?) Anyway, he continued, “I wanted to get the best for the best… here!” Accompanying the “here” was a set of keys gently tossed to me.

I must have had a look of bewilderment on my face, because my son said, “Dad, they fit that Jaguar parked on the street. See it?” Did I ever see it… Parked in front of his home was a beautiful, black highly polished Jaguar XJ8L. “Take it for a spin, dad. I hope you like it. When I bought it, I had to sign your name on the title, because I didn’t want you to have to hassle with any paperwork.” How does one respond to a gift like that? I was at a complete loss for words. I never even thought of how my children might view Father’s Day.  Besides, I was so taken by the enormity and thoughtfulness of the gift, I was only able to stutter a “wow.”

One doesn’t “hop in” a vehicle like this. I “entered” the Jag, started it up and somewhere between all the gauges, the leather, the teak wood accents, the state of the art sound system, I found the ignition and off I went. I had to pay close attention to the road because for some reason my eyes had misted up. The Jaguar drove like Jaguars drive! I remember thinking, “What just happened? Why would my son have bought this for me? No way do I deserve this. What happened to giving your dad a tie?” That is the story of how I became a Jag owner, shared with you for a little background on what I really wanted to write about.

The Course study group I regularly attend meets Monday nights. I had told a couple of my fellow students about what happened. “Well, Stephan, you’ll sure have a story to tell during miracle sharing tonight” was their comment. I actually felt my friends’ happiness for my “good fortune.” When the time came during the study session, the facilitator asked, “are there any miracles to report?” I stayed silent. There were puzzled looks from some of my friends, but I had the feeling I was missing something important, so I said nothing.

During the next couple of days I told many people my Jag story. One reason was so they wouldn’t think I stole it! Without exception, comments were always, “what a miracle.” “You’re so fortunate. Can I adopt your son?” etc. And I was appreciative. I was and still am, overwhelmed by the generosity of my son. Still, I was feeling like I was missing something very important in this whole situation. “Why would getting a possession be considered a miracle?” I wondered. The Course seems very clear that, “to change illusions is to make no change” T-22.ll.2:4

“Ownership is a dangerous concept if it is left to you.” T-13.Vll.10:10 “Oh great!” I thought, now the gift that has been bringing me so much joy can be considered dangerous.

My mind went to another puzzle which was still unresolved, “Why would finding a hundred dollar bill be looked on as a miracle, while losing a hundred dollar bill would be looked upon as bad luck?” In reality, (Reality?) one hasn’t lost or found anything. As I was experiencing the discomfort of missing an important lesson, I went back to the quote I used at the beginning of this paragraph. “Ownership is a dangerous concept if it is left to you.” T-13.Vll.10 Now the quote read differently to me, I missed the part, “if it is left to you.” I asked for an interpretation, and immediately the quote “Every loving thought is true.” T-12.l.3:3 entered my mind. A wave of happiness swept over me. I “got it.” My son loves me and I love my son. It wasn’t about the gift, it was about the love behind it. I plan on taking many trips in my Jag to more fully comprehend love!

Rev. Stephan Mead is a Pathways of Light minister living in Seattle, Washington.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Finding the Gift in Illness

Rev. Therese Anne Ward

It happened that for about three months I had noticed that my bowel evacuation was gradually getting smaller and smaller, along with lots of gurgling in my belly. So off I went to the doctors to have my first colonoscopy. After the procedure the doctor met with me and my two daughters and explained that there was a tumor blocking the colon and it would have to be surgically removed and the colon re-sectioned and possibly a temporary colostomy while the re-sectioning healed.

Having arrived at age sixty-seven without ever having any surgery, I was naturally shocked and full of anxiety about the whole process. An appointment to see a surgeon was set up for me before we left the colon-screening center. Things were moving fast.

Linda, a lifelong friend of mine, is a retired nurse practitioner, so I asked her to come with us to the surgeon. I felt more comfortable with her along because of her training; I thought her ears could catch what I missed and explain what I didn’t know. I was apprehensive, and did not know what to expect. Except for giving births, the last of which was forty-three years ago, I had not been one to seek out doctors.

I prayed as always, in the quiet, turning it all over to Holy Spirit, affirming Spirit’s guidance through every step.

I liked the surgeon almost immediately as she entered the room. We had never met before. In fact, I had never heard of her. There was an aura of peacefulness about her. She was direct, unhurried and answered every one of my two pages of written questions, plus the ones my daughters and Linda had asked. I could not have been made more at ease.

Before we left the room, my fears were gone. I can only say the Holy Spirit was certainly working in and through her too.

Well, the surgery went off without a hitch. One week in the hospital, every day 100% improvement from the previous day! I played Jonathan Goldman’s CD’s: “Holy Harmony” which is the YHSVH chant (Yod Heh Shin Van Heh) the name for Jesus spelled in Hebrew, and “Ultimate OM.” Never once did I desire to turn on the TV.

I felt I was being palpably held in the vibration of Holy Spirit.

After the seven days, I was sent home to recooperate for six weeks. One of my sisters took two weeks of her vacation time to stay with me, since I was now living alone, being only five months into widowhood. Another sister came and helped with my care and did yard work. Family and friends and untold hundreds of others in prayer circles, supported me with love, care and prayers.

I was experiencing how thoughts make their effects in form; and the thoughts I was holding were ones I was getting with Holy Spirit. I noticed I was changing, getting more peaceful, being kinder, definitely much more appreciative of each person with whom I came in contact. And life, life is more precious in the NOW of living.

Just today I was discharged from Home Health nurse visits, after only fifteen days; three weeks ahead of schedule.

This past week I have revisited on DVD, the movies “What The (Bleep) Do We Know” and “Down The Rabbit Hole” which have been very good reminders of how thought is creative — infinite possibilities — and all is One and One is many.

There is one more surgery scheduled for me to complete this whole process. I can only say that this whole experience daily being turned over to the Holy Spirit, is indeed healing my thoughts which seems to be healing my body and making me shine.

I am reminded in ACIM, “I am not a body I am free, I am still as God created me”

“All healing is self healing” and “We are never healed alone.”

Rev. Therese Anne Ward is a Pathways of Light minister living in Newport, Kentucky

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A Lesson in Love

Joanne Kraenzie Schneider

My husband and I have had a couple we went out with regularly for several years. We considered them our best friends. We had lots of commonalities including working out regularly and competing in athletic events, kids hitting college, mutual friends, and our spirituality. Over the years we had several discussions about our spirituality. I enjoyed these conversations.

Several months ago, when we found and shared A Course In Miracles with our friends, they simply “could not go there.” They said just that. Over the next few months, after several invitations to our Course group, it finally sunk in that they really were not interested.

As I worked on my spiritual life, in particular my grievances, I found that I was holding a grievance against our friends. I was angry. I could not even go out with them without experiencing feelings of resentment. As I did more grievance work, I repeatedly focused on our friends.

Then one day I had an insight. I considered our friends to be a “special relationship.” This was the basis for my grievances. Jesus says, “…all special relationships have elements of fear in them. This is why they shift and change so frequently.” T-15.V.4.1-2

My relationship with them changed and it was a change based on fear. I used this special relationship to support my ego. Thank God the Holy Spirit uses special relationships “…as learning experiences that point to truth.” T-15.V.4.5 My grievances taught me a huge lesson about special relationships. This insight left me with such relief. I loved our friends no less, but I could now see them as Love, the changeless kind.

This experience also taught me something else. Lessons may be where I least expect them. Maybe that is what Jesus meant when he said, “Under His teaching, every relationship becomes a lesson in love.” T-15.V.4.6

Joanne Kraenzle Schneider is a Pathways of Light ministerial student living in Festus, Missouri.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Of Myself I Can Do Nothing

Rev. Julie Bergum

I love nature. I’ll tell anyone who listens. That’s part of why I moved here: the beauty, the lushness, the stillness, the filtered light through the trees, the eagles’ grace and power, the blue heron’s prehistoric flight, the rich fragrance, the creek’s seasonal faces. I’ll tell you Heaven’s lawn is beautifully wooded and alive, peaceful.

Another truth woke me up at midnight — a fight to the death. I didn’t have to see the ferocity, the fear, the pain, the violence. The wild screams, pants and whimpers pierced my heart and when victor and victim fell silent, the last cry echoing in the night, I was left bereft and afraid. My gentle canine companion had heard the carnage, too, and whimpered quiet barks.

I tried to remove this upset from my thoughts as quickly as I could. Not just because of the early alarm, but because I find it so hard to bear. First I told myself it was the way of the world, which only upset me even more. I tried to give it to Spirit, and thought that worked because I finally slept. But I don’t think it did because on waking, my first thoughts turned to the battle in my memory and in myself.

I can see that I contain within me the very nature of the world that is upsetting me now. I can even acknowledge that I made this. I mean, if God had, it wouldn’t all be such a mess, right? But I need more than metaphysics to help me process this. It feels irreconcilable, these parts of myself, these parts of nature. I am victim and I am victor. I am the hunter and the hunted, the captor and the captive.

I see how I make the game and then play it so well, playing out being a victim of time, circumstances and my brothers. I see how I turn away, again and again, from rescue even while I’m begging, crying, clawing to be saved. I see how I hide from myself that I am predator, cloaking my motives and movements in Spirit’s white Light. I see that I want what I made to be absolute and indestructible, even at the cost of staying in the very misery I made.

By leaning into this experience and looking deeper for truth, I feel a shift. It starts at my solar plexus, some kind of release, a letting go. My shoulders lower and I take a deep breath. I hadn’t realized how shallow my breathing was.

I know this to be true — if I don’t have the answer now, I will. If I can’t see it now, no matter how many times you show it to me, I won’t learn it for myself until I’m ready. So I leave this paradox, this dichotomy on the altar and trust. In astronomy, the term “dichotomy” describes the phase of the moon when half of its disk is visible. I am that moon, the light and the shadow, and I allow myself to just be, forgiven and forgiving.

I invite Holy Spirit and my brother Jesus to show me the Way and I watch in gratitude as the obstacles to Love begin to fall away. By leaning into the painful parts of who I am, and surrendering to Spirit, I am finally at peace in the moment and with the moment. There is nothing I want to change, and for that I am thankful.

Rev. Julie Bergum is a Pathways of Light minister living in Poulsbo Washington.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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