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A Holy Instant

by John Hutkin

Many times as a Course student I have asked that I might forgive this person or situation and see it with vision. But I know somewhere in the back of my mind was my desire to have the situation changed to something more acceptable to me, as well as a desire to hold onto my concept of right and wrong.
One time I did ask to forgive with no strings attached.It seemed like a very minor forgiveness, and I received a “holy instant,” which goes to show that the Course asks very little and gives so much in return. As I look back, the single key that opens all the doors is that when we ask to forgive, we must truly turn it over to the Holy Spirit without any other consideration of how it should be.

I had attended A Course in Miracles class on Tuesday evenings for over four years. The leader and host of the group, Sally, always gave a 20-30 minute meditation at the beginning, before we read from the Course. I always had a problem with these meditations, for I felt that 90% of them had nothing to do with the Course and in many cases were embedded in what the Course calls “magic.” I saw them for the most part as her ego trip, and as a result would really judge her.

I remember coming into class one night. It was right before the meditation was to start. I said to myself just before I came in the door, “I am not going to judge Sally today. I’m just going to do my (Course Workbook) lesson.” I don’t even remember what the lesson was. I do remember very vividly that I was perfectly clear in my decision not to judge Sally. Looking back, I see there have been many other times when I’ve said I’m not going to do this or that, but I don’t remember ever being as clear about it as I was this time. It just seemed that that’s what I really wanted to do. I was absolute in my intention at that moment. It didn’t feel weighty, like I had to do it or had been forced into it. It was a decision that came from within.

When I sat down on the floor the lights were very low. I think there were at least six people in this room, besides myself. Sally started the meditation. I closed my eyes and repeated in my mind that I was not going to judge Sally. And I started doing the lesson. I wasn’t expecting anything to occur, except that I might feel better if I weren’t judging Sally today.

Almost immediately after closing my eyes I saw Sally — the Real Sally. And I was seeing her with the Real John (that’s me). Neither one of us were in the bodies that we normally would recognize. She was not in the body that I’m used to seeing her in, but I absolutely knew it was her, there was no doubt about it. The description that comes to me now is that she was an energy form that I knew to be her.

At that moment I recognized I was seeing a high, pure part of Sally. I could say the Christ Self now, but I’m not sure I really thought any of those things at the time. And my sense of myself was different. I did not feel that I was in my body, but I was very conscious of my being, even more conscious than I am while in a body. It was me in a “purified, Higher Self” version.

It’s interesting. I was thinking these things about Sally and myself simultaneously. I didn’t really make a differentiation or comparison between us. What I recognized in her I also recognized in myself simultaneously.

The thing that struck me right away is that I felt more love/joy in being in Sally’s presence than I have ever felt before. There was no other concept in my mind except love/joy/ecstasy in being in her presence. It was an experience of pure, absolute bliss in coming into contact with someone. And I know that she felt the same about me. There were no words spoken. All of this was just clear. I felt a love, a sense of love, that surpassed any concept of love that I have experienced on a conscious level. I have been in love; I’ve had many male/female relationships, and in looking back it was no comparison, because it was so much greater than anything that I had ever experienced. And I said, “This is love.”

Not only did I meet Sally in this way, but I then started to meet another person that was present in the room in the same way. Again recognizing their individuality, but at the same time recognizing the same level of love that I had with Sally; still distinguishing individuality, but the love was the same, of the same magnitude. That didn’t change, it didn’t go up, it didn’t go down, it just was the same. And this happened with each person that was present in the room.

At this point when I was meeting everyone in the room, I felt God. And my sense was that He was smiling on me. I say on me, because it felt like the sun when you’re basking in it, when it is not too hot and just warm enough to have this wonderful warm feeling all around you. I felt I was basking in this smile. And I just was aware that it was God. It was not like the normal description of God, there was no physical aspect. It was more spherical and smiling.

This whole process was happening without any sense of time in it. It truly was timeless, eternal; there was no sequence or concept of time passing. But the weird thing that started happening immediately in meeting Sally and then the other individuals is that I was giving everything that was in me to them and I was receiving everything from them, simultaneously. There was nothing being held back. I was fully giving of myself, which I can never remember doing. I’m always feeling a sense of some holding back or some consciousness of myself and what would be appropriate or inappropriate to give. Everything at that moment was absolutely given, freely without any thought of what it was. There was no need to give it, just the absolute joy in doing it. It was just an enhancement, but there was no need. And there was no reason to withhold anything. The only thing was to give it. And I was receiving. I was totally aware that I was receiving totally their consciousness. And it was happening simultaneously. I don’t know how I can explain that, other than saying that my thoughts were given and their thoughts were received at the same moment, without having to discuss them or interact or in any way comprehend. It was just happening. And again, it was pure joy.

And as we were getting closer and closer in space (if there was any space between us, I guess I did have some sense of space), it was like a heart beating, where every beat was totally received and given at the same time. And when the whole gap between space closed we were as one and intermingling. Again there weren’t physical bodies, but we were intertwined; we came together and moved through each other. And that I would have to say was a combination of laughter and orgasm, but of a much more intense level. I say orgasmic, but it was different. It’s not something I really can describe. I’m just using the word to try and capture some sense of it. We were laughing hysterically, laughing in pure ecstasy, like when you’re out of control laughing. You’re not thinking or judging your own laughter, you’re just laughing. That was going on as part of a totally relaxed course of events. And we were very appreciative of each other. There was a definite honoring of each other, an appreciation of coming into contact, but not a solemn one. It was just full of laughter and joy.

At this point, because I had this experience with these people, I remember asking myself, “Where is everyone else?” And in that thought I was aware that everyone else that I knew on this conscious level (or that I thought I knew) was present. But not only that, everyone was present, and I don’t know how I knew that, but I just knew. If you had asked me is everyone in the world there, I would have said “yes.” Was everyone that was ever in the world there? I would say “yes.” Was there more than everyone in the world past or future there? And I would say “yes.” I felt like I was in the middle and this expanded out farther than I could see. But I was perfectly aware that everyone was there. And then I remember asking, “Could I ever be alone?” And in that moment I was totally alone. Then I asked about traveling. “Could I be anywhere?” In that moment I was traveling through something. I don’t know if they were planets or stars or something, but it seemed that I was crashing into things. And I had this interesting sense that I was absolutely safe. It dawned on me that you couldn’t be harmed, because I wasn’t. I felt my energy crashing into things and there was no consequence. I felt absolute safety. And I was realizing that everything was happening in a thought. I could be anywhere, with anyone, doing anything, in a thought.

Meanwhile, Sally’s meditation had been going on. I had never even heard any of the words. But at some point very near the end of the meditation something was said that I started to hear. At that moment I felt that now we were all at the same level, that the consciousness of Sally’s meditation had joined me where I was. And then I remember hearing the words that were coming out of the meditation, something about seeing water, however those meditations end. And I started to feel my being being scrunched back into my body, which I had been completely unaware of during this entire episode. I had no sense of my body. I don’t remember feeling any sensations one way or the other. I didn’t even notice it. It just wasn’t there. But all of a sudden I noticed it. And it felt like I was bringing my consciousness back in and was stuffing myself back into my body. And that was how it ended.

John Hutkin is a student of A Course in Miracles from St. Louis Missouri.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Honoring a Transition

Rev. Colleen Mc Nally

Just this week as I was beginning my morning meditation, I was reflecting on how often in recent days I have been thinking and even writing that I just do not know. My ego was well at work here, judging and thinking if I did know then — then what? Things would be better. I should know and have my life all figured out. At that point I remembered seeing an article in a recent copy of Miracles News that was about not knowing. It was an article by Robert and Mary Stoelting titled, “The Importance of Remembering that I Know Nothing.” It seemed like the perfect fit for this morning’s reflection. As I read it, I began to experience a miracle. I love these moments when I feel Spirit with me. A wonderful sense of Presence comes over me and I rest today in the knowing that I do not know.

It was an amazing experience. I began to reflect on how many times I have written in my journal that I just do not know. I write about not knowing almost with a sense of anguish of not knowing what to do, what to say, where to turn. As I read this article, a light went on and I was hearing, “Listen to Spirit.” This seems like a perfect place for me to work on a transition. Spirit knows. Spirit will tell me. I need to learn to listen to Him.

What an amazing practice I was involved in! There in my life experience was the perfect opportunity to practice. What from one perspective appeared to be turmoil was actually a part of a transition. My ego chatter would keep me turning in circles, in some clueless state of separation or believing that I am separate. “The world you see is based on ‘sacrifice’ of oneness. It is a picture of complete disunity and total lack of joining.” T-26.I.2:1-2

When I became aware, my perception opened a new circle of connection. I shifted to an awareness of Love, where I am one in a circle with everyone.

The Course teaches me about the transition. “There is a borderline of thought that stands between this world and Heaven. It is not a place, and when you reach it is apart from time. Here is the meeting place where thoughts are brought together; where conflicting values meet and all illusions are laid down beside the truth, where they are judged to be untrue. This borderline is just beyond the gate of Heaven. Here is every thought made pure and wholly simple.” T-26.III.2:1-5

I am realizing the benefit of this practice. I honor this gift of Spirit and I celebrate a new awareness of a deeper connection to my truth. I celebrate truth. I celebrate Love. I celebrate oneness. I feel like I am in a transition period. It is a re-thinking and a re-learning, asking for a new way to look at the circumstances of my life.

My experience was telling me that “I know nothing.” My limited ego perceptions did not even recognize the importance of remembering. I wasn’t aware then that this is the “place the Holy Spirit comes, and there abides.” T-18.VII.7:8

I embrace this practice and set my intention there. “When we develop the habit of giving time to quiet listening with an open mind, one of the first things that we receive is Holy Spirit’s gift of peace.” Miracles News p. 3 Vol. 9 No. 3

The ego so insanely perceives doing nothing as non-productive. I am learning to say doing nothing is actually doing something. It is about creating a space for Holy Spirit to guide my life. “To do nothing is to rest, and make a place within you where the activity of the body ceases to demand attention.” T-18.VII.7:7 I center myself in love and peace, accepting the gifts of this day. I embrace and honor Holy Spirit’s presence in my mind.

“Yet every instant can you be reborn, and given life again. His holiness gives life to you, who cannot die because his sinlessness is known to God; and can no more be sacrificed by you than can the Light in you be blotted out because he sees it not.” T-26.7:1-2

Experiencing a Quiet Mind

My mind wanders all over the place. It is my ego mind questioning and doubting, judging and comparing everywhere and everything. I stop a moment to be quiet and I invite Holy Spirit to guide my life. I settle into a deeper calm where Love enters.

The transformation is in allowing Spirit to teach me, to talk to me and to continually remind me of a Presence that is eternal. It is the Light in which I see, accepting a miracle of Love.

My being lights up in what is not of this world or any knowing of this body as real. The transformation is a love song. The music extends.

There is a giving and a receiving, a quiet gentle connection to Love, shared in an ocean of oneness. It needs no words. It is in truth.

My mind quiets. Love is revealed. It is a miracle. Peace has come. It is a blessing. Joy to the world.

I rest a while with Holy Spirit. My heart knows only gratitude.

Rev. Colleen McNally, Ph.D.  is a Pathways of Light minister living in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Will You Be My Love?

Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan

How do we get involved in unloving relationships — relationships where the other does not see our Love essence, nor do we see the Love essence in the other? We see one another through eyes that evaluate. Will I be able to have power over you? Will you control me? Will you take care of me? Will you let me take care of you? Will you hold up your end of the bargain so we can be successful in the world? Will you join me in making a life that will bring the happiness I do not now experience? Will you be my rescuer? Will you let me persecute you? Will you let me fix you? Will you make children with me?

What is usually missing is a willingness to see the other for who they truly are — the pure Spirit of God wanting to give and receive the Essence we share. Why this rare instance?

Ultimately, meeting up with one’s Self where true worthiness is encountered, is the loving relationship necessary to build a loving relationship with another. But we fall away from our true Self again and again. The ego mind stores the function of “forgetfulness,” just as the Holy Spirit Mind stores the function of “remembering.” We have a choice between the two. The memory banks of the ego mind store only the past. What happens is that when we choose this ego mind, we relive the past over and over again. We can become aware of the Oneness and experience our true Self only in this present moment because It only happens in the present moment. Our right mind, if it operated in the past or future, would not be our right mind because what makes our right mind “right” or in alignment with Holy Spirit is its state of awareness. In awareness there is no past or future, only now. We can conjure up the past or imagine the future, but we cannot be aware in the past or future. We can only be aware now. Do you think God keeps a watch or a calendar to keep track of time? Ego keeps track of time. Awareness tracks now.

To come into Love, we must come into awareness. Love is not in the past or future, it is available to us now, if we choose. We are never out of luck or out of time. We are never too late. We are never out of new moments in which we may choose again. Love is generous.

The belief in unworthiness arises out of past memories or future concerns. We feel guilt about the past or worried about the future. Because we have no control over either, the ego thought system convinces us we are unworthy. The ego is all about control. On the other hand, this moment cannot be guilt-ridden over the past or made to feel incompetent about the future. If we feel either, we are not in this moment. Awareness carries with it complete acceptance of what is, and only Love Is.

In special relationships, little time is spent in the present moment, in the awareness of Love’s presence. There is much time devoted to reviewing the past day, week, month, year, decade or planning for that evening, next day, next week, next year, ten years from now. This lock in time keeps us in unworthiness because it keeps us out of now where awareness of Love rests.  Worthiness only rests in Love — where two become one.

A loving relationship can only be experienced now. But you say, we live in a world of time. I must pay attention to the time to function. Go ahead, look at the clock, make your appointments, just choose to be present when doing so. In being present, you will be in the flow of Love. In being in the flow of Love, you will experience your worthiness. In experiencing worthiness you will see the worth in another — and maybe he or she will see it too.

We cannot really choose an unloving partner or be an unloving partner ourselves, like we have been branded that way and there is no way out. We can choose to not live in this moment, in the Divine flow. Our partner can choose to not live in this moment, where Love breathes.

The only way to be a loving partner is to be here now, resting in Love. The only way to find a loving partner is to be here now, resting in Love. Love finds Itself; you do not have to go looking for it.

That which is not Love will find you too in its search for its self in you. Do not succumb to its lower nature. Instead, follow Love and let it follow you. Trust in your own ability to find a loving partner and you have placed your trust in indecision and a mockery of Love.

How does one live in the moment? Trick question of the ego! We cannot plan out how to live the rest of our lives in the moment! The more moments one experiences, the more one is exposed to Love, graced by your true Nature. In comparison to the scraps the ego thought system throws at you … there is no comparison.

You will choose Love more consistently as you experience peace of mind more consistently. Practice. When we choose Love, we can then offer this Love to others and in this sharing the moment is complete. Now, will you be Love?

SEX, INTIMACY, AND LOVE

Healing in relationship is essentially healing our part in our relationship with God. The brokenness in relationship, due to the separation, carries us toward the goal ever more so as we relinquish all of our thoughts about relationship to Holy Spirit for Love’s healing. All intimate relationships are attempts to merge with God, to come to know Self, to return Home. Creation becomes available in our Self-intimacy with God. True Creation is born out of extending Love.

Physical intimacy is a replacement for God, an attempt of the ego to reproduce creation. However, real intimacy in relationship with the God Self in each other, can be experienced through the bodily experience of sexual intimacy if sex is not the goal. The goal is Love. Difficult path is this, for most thoughts of sex are obstacles to Love because they never leave the ego thought system and enter Love, due to unwillingness.

We cannot attempt to channel Love through sex by wishful thinking or good intentions. Sex channeled through Love, however, is a step towards true intimacy. The exceptional difference here is to meet ego all dressed up in “love” or to follow Love naked into unknown territory.

This is the tangled web of intimate relationships. There is strong ego-based evidence of intimacy through closeness — physical, emotional, and mental — but never enough to fill the emptiness inside the self. Mutual love coincides with the terror of separation in ego-based intimacy.

All Love remembers our innocence. Here lays dormant true intimacy. “Sexual innocence” is guilt-ridden in the hands of ego-based intimacy. Freedom from guilt relieves the ego illusion of sexual innocence as one realizes they are not making love, but extending Love, therefore releasing fear and guilt often unconsciously associated with sex. The separation theme of the ego thought system drives guilt, which drives all behavior, including making love.

Innocence creates love in the moment and inspires every moment thereafter. Freedom from the guilt of separation is experienced. We love when we join. We join when we practice forgiveness, letting Holy Spirit accomplish the forgiving. We create oneness when we are in It. And this friends, is true Love. In Joy.

Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Louis, Missouri. Visit Mary’s web site at: http://www.thementorwithin.com
Mary Gerard Lenihan is the author of the book, The Mentor Within, Let your SELF be seen. You may purchase this book online at the Pathways of Light website.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Chasing Pearls

by Rev. John Vise

Recently, a minister friend of mine asked me to fill in the pulpit for him while he and his wife took some much needed time off together. He then requested that I give him the sermon title by the end of the week, as that was his deadline for putting it in the paper for the following Saturday.

I had been thinking about how some people place a great value on spiritual awakening, some don’t even know what it means, and others think it is cool that it is available to some but not for them.  Of course I know that when you are ready it will start to happen for you, and this brought to mind the ‘pearl of great price’ parable in Matthew. So, I called him back and said the title would be ‘Pearls.”

I decided to share with the congregation some of the Pearls in my life and how I ‘sold everything I had’ to obtain them.  Selling everything you have means: To make the necessary financial and time commitments to obtain those pearls, no matter what.

About thirty years ago, after spending sixty days with friends in British Columbia, Canada, and while driving back home, I was divinely discontent, a state of mind that Napoleon Hill described in his book Think and Grow Rich. This state of mind is a good thing as you know that change is on its way. Thirty of those days were in a log cabin in a wilderness territory on the banks of a beautiful glacier fed lake. The combination of being away from the ordinary life and now enjoying this peaceful basic existence life far away from everything, stirred something in me.

I was given a copy of the Science of Mind monthly magazine and my interest in the philosophy of Earnest Holmes grabbed my attention. I ordered everything in the book by Earnest Holmes and a few books that were by other writers. For the first time in my life I was affirmed in some of my beliefs, which differed greatly from the bible belt consciousness that I grew up around. Oh… it sure felt good and I wanted more of this, so I made the decision to take one year off and study. What a beautiful year. More and more books magically came into my life and I was opening up to a whole new way of seeing things with confidence.

Toward the end of that year, I was introduced to ACIM by a United Methodist pastor friend of mine. I immediately became an avid student of the ‘Course.’  It was as if I was tied to a rocket ship as my spiritual awareness went into a completely different orbit. Then, some 20 years later, I read the Disappearance of the Universe, by Gary Renard, and the boosters on the rocket ship I was riding on ignited and it catapulted me into another orbit. The value of the information in this book to ACIM students is priceless. Another ‘pearl’ in my now long list of pearls.

Then in February I attended the ACIM Conference in San Francisco and attended one of the sessions by Pathways of Light with Revs. Mary and Robert Stoelting. I enjoyed the session and picked up some of their literature to take with me to study later after I returned home. Something kept speaking to me as I read and studied the different courses offered. I was seeing more pearls. So, I picked up the phone and called and talked to Robert. I ordered the first five courses while I was on the phone with him, and later all the rest of the courses for the O.M.C. certification.

Pearls, pearls, pearls… everywhere pearls.  What a beautiful way they have for your own further spiritual awakening and a way to share in the teachings in ACIM and my own ministry.

Rev. John Vise is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hot Springs, Arkansas.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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