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Accepting Holy Spirit’s Plan Brings Peace

by Rev. Barbara Kraetsch

I recognize today just how often I make plans in advance for myself and others. I think of things I will say and do, and how others will say and do. I make expectations in my mind by scripting in advance. I plan how people will act at family events and parties, meetings, holidays, work schedules — really, almost every situation or event I can think of. I script interactions and moods. I plan it out to meet my needs or what I think would be best, not only for me but others, as well. Sometimes these expectations get locked into my mind and if they don’t happen, I feel keenly disappointed.

I remember receiving my high school graduation gift, a watch. My parents, especially my mother, picked it with care, one she thought would last a lifetime. (Of course, that was in the days when wind-up watches still did!) She saw elegance. I looked at it and saw an old-fashioned, old ladies watch. I wanted something bright, modern and quirky.

The level of disappointment I felt was so strong, I can feel it today as I write this. Part of its strength was also the terror I felt about how I was going to hide my level of disappointment and thank them for the gift in front of all gathered. I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of it. My heart just sank as I opened the box, and I felt no joy. I could not enthusiastically say thanks. I am sure they knew, as did all present, that I didn’t like it as I issued my perfunctory thanks and said it was lovely. I’ve never been very good at hiding my feelings, I’m told. There they are for everyone to see clearly no matter how hard I try to disguise them. 

This scenario has repeated itself many times over in my life. I can think of many disappointing gifts on disappointing birthdays and holidays. I can think of many disappointing conversations during meetings with friends and family, meetings long anticipated with excitement. Yes, I plan details — how things will look, what people will say, even how the food will smell and taste at a holiday dinner. I have been doing this since I was a child.  I can remember vividly the times in my life when my expectations were met or exceeded because the are so rare, and were so fleetingly temporary.

During my last few years as an ACIM student, I have practiced changing this old habit. It is a tough one to break. I thought I was making good progress, but all of a sudden I have come to realize how deeply embedded in my unconscious is this habit.  I am planning details before I even recognize I am do it. Out of the unconscious comes thoughts of fear in a steady stream.  I underestimated what comes forth from this mysterious place or force at a never ending pace. Today I sit in amazement at the vast undertow that is present there, like the force under the waves coming to shore that can, once caught, suck someone far out into the ocean. Once caught in the undertow of the unconscious mind, I am sucked into a world of illusive expectations set up to keep me feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled because they cannot be met. They cannot be met because they are false, only a dream of something grand but not grand themselves.

What to do when recognizing one is caught, yet again, in the undertow of expectations, is to, yet again, ask to be released. We have to be willing to let go of expectations and come back to the present, listening to Holy Spirit, and leaving all planning to His capable hands.
As I listen now, with Holy Spirit, I can choose trust and find peace. And, also, find forgiveness of myself that there are these thoughts streaming from the unconscious that invite separation. I cannot change my unconscious, I don’t even know what is in it! I must leave this all to Holy Spirit. As in the conscious mind I choose to be joined with Him in truth, the stream of unconscious thought can come forth to be looked at in the light of truth without fear. 

As I consciously join with Holy Spirit, I forgive myself for the world I think I make with my mind. Right now I choose to give plans and expectations to Him, for I no longer wish to make a future that is designed to bring me only pain. As I open my mind to that which Holy Spirit will provide me, I open my mind to pleasant surprise. As circumstances and events unfold, there can only be delight for me if I give all my expectations to Him, and only expect to find Him everywhere in everything. This is a conscious choice I make now and it brings me peace. In this, there is complete forgiveness of all I think I project, and also forgiveness of what yet lurks in the unconscious, waiting to stream forth in my unmindful moments to sweep me out to the sea of fear, and the fear of being lost in the sea of fear. Yes, this happens over and over again until my mind is completely healed.

I am recognizing I need not have any fear of being lost in fear. Holy Spirit is always there in His rescue boat, ready to lead me to the harbor of peace, safe and secure, as I always was in truth. My expectations sink me.  Holy Spirit helps me walk on water to the safe shore of truth. All I need do is take His hand and by so doing, let go of my thought, for I cannot hold both in my hands. I can only hold one or the other. Only Holy Spirit’s thought uplifts me.

So, for today, I let go of my expectations and plans.  I grab Holy Spirit’s hand, His thought, and His plan. I can only know this by staying in the present moment with Him. This is the only way I can remain untroubled about the future, expecting nothing but His love and His help, and trusting it will be there always.  This is a good day, a Godly day, when I let Holy Spirit look ahead for me and I follow Him to joy, knowing I can never get there on my own.

Rev. Barbara Kraetsch is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hartford, Wisconsin.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Do We Have to Suffer to Grow Spiritually?

by Rev. Marie Hanson

This question was asked at our A Course in Miracles discussion group recently.  What a great question! My mind immediately went into its busy-ness and monkey business. It would go to a back burner, and then come to the front.  It intrigued me. It eluded me. It deserved meditation and reflection.

I am aware of a part of me that always knows. It is joyful, peaceful. Then, there is the part of me that can be nosey and argumentative. It is noisy and brings my mind evidence to contradict Truth. My split mind!  How clever it is. Holy Spirit’s help is always at hand.  And invite Him in I did.  Ahhh…

Let’s look at suffering first.  What is it for you?  There are many things on the level of the body and mind that may cause suffering.  Perhaps an attachment, a special relationship or thoughts of separateness steal away your attention of the here and now.  But does suffering exist on the level of the Spirit?  I don’t believe it does.

At the level of the Spirit there is only perfection. Spirit, being perfect, is changeless, constant. It does not know suffering. Suffering is not understandable and insane to the Spirit. Spirit does not grow. We can not add to it. 

Let’s look at what we mean by growth now: “to develop more fully.” Based on the Spirit being perfect and changeless, this must refer to the level of the body and mind.  Bodies and minds grow and develop. It makes sense then, that at this level of the body and mind, we can experience our perceived suffering and growth. So, what do we mean when we say “spiritual growth?”

I believe that it refers to our experience of Spirit. When we suffer, we forget Who We Are.  We perceive our self as limited and in a body, unable to escape. Our mind is insane with nonsensical thoughts. Our suffering continues until we are ready to remember the Truth and invite the Holy Spirit in. Ah-ha!  This is where spiritual growth resides!

It is there in our experience of the Spirit at the level of the mind and body. This moment, the undoing, the miracle of the present and our Truth that we are not a body or mind, but Spiritual Beings having a human experience. This is the point where we “develop more fully” our awareness that we are Spirit. So, does this require our suffering?

That is up to us. Our perceptions of suffering can lead us to grow spiritually. As we chose again, we may not necessarily suffer, recognizing our Truth more quickly as we “develop more fully.” Happy Growing!

Rev. Marie Hanson is a Pathways of Light minister living in Carson City, Nevada.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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How Am I Victimized?

by Rev. Myron Jones

Thanksgiving was more meaningful to me this year than it usually is. I have so much to be thankful for. That I am still here after the hurricane season is at the top on my list. In fact, my life is one blessing after another. My home is undamaged, my family safe, my town getting back to normal. My life is so good that you would think I would have trouble finding things to complain about, but not so. In fact, I was thinking about something just the other day.

I have a new vehicle. Having a new car is good, but I really don’t like the process of buying one. This time it wasn’t all that bad, though. However, after the purchase was complete, I realized that they had not included a package that was supposed to be part of the deal.

I wasn’t really that upset about not having the package which was designed to protect the vehicle long term, and I seldom have a car long term, but I was charged for it and felt like I had been taken advantage of. As I sat there fuming over the situation, I realized that I felt like I was a victim of an unscrupulous dealership.

Hearing myself think the word victim brought me up short. There is a lesson from ACIM that I have found very helpful. It says, “I am not a victim of the world I see.” Since I started working with this idea, I have seen the value in it over and over. When I hear the word victim, my mind sends up a red flag, as it did this time. As I sat there thinking about how I had bought into the idea that I am a victim, I realized that I have done this too often lately. I laughed at myself as I thought. “How am I victimized? Let me count the ways.”

Well this promised to be a long list as I recognized that I often feel victimized even though I don’t always think of it that way. Take the dealership victim story. I felt like a victim because I paid for something I didn’t get, and it certainly looks like this is the case. It did actually happen, after all. However, there is a difference in what happens, and how I feel about it. Sometimes I don’t have a lot of control over what happens. I do have absolute control over how I think about it, and how I think about anything determines how I feel about it.

Knowing this is true, I could try to change how I feel by changing the world. For instance, I could call the dealership and complain until someone did something about it. But changing the world doesn’t always work, does it? Maybe they would comply, and maybe they wouldn’t. It is not something I can depend on. I cannot have peace around anything if I cannot depend on it.

So a better way to do it is to work with the only thing that I do have control over, and that is my own mind. I can always change my thoughts. What I chose to do about the dealership was to forgive the whole situation. I had to do this more than once because at first, I didn’t mean it. I wanted peace of mind, but I also wanted to be angry with them. I can’t have both, so I had to choose. Finally, I decided that I wanted to be happy more than I wanted to be right.

This does not preclude taking action, but it does mean that I can act from a place of empowerment, and of love rather than of victimhood. If I am peaceful when I take action, I will make better choices. Since my goal in life is to extend peace and love, I have already succeeded regardless of what happens with my car.

There is definitely an attraction to victimhood. I always prefer that my problems be someone else’s fault. It requires vigilance on my part just to be mindful of when I do this. I am not going to take each individual instance and try to convince myself that I am not a victim. I choose to know that I am never a victim.

An interesting thing happened after I chose forgiveness in this case. A couple of days later, I received a phone call from Honda taking a survey on my buying experience. As part of the survey I told them about the package. They assure me that I will be getting a phone call from the dealership about having it installed. If they do, it would be great. If they don’t, I am not going to waste any of my life worrying about it. My goal is to have peace and happiness, and that is my only goal. I have no desire to be a victim.

There are many opportunities to reject victimhood. When my computer got a virus, I felt like a victim of the malicious actions of the person who created the virus. I could have stayed there blaming that person for my anger and frustration, but I chose not to be a victim. I gave my feelings to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to join me in this forgiveness process. I forgave the writer of the virus, the person who inadvertently sent it to me, and myself for my brief foray into victimhood. Asking the Holy Spirit to join me in my forgiveness process allowed any unconscious guilt I might be harboring to be healed at the same time.

There are clues to let me know that I am falling into the victim trap. If I blame someone else for what has happened to me, or for how I feel, then I am setting myself up to be the victim. That someone did do something to me is not the issue. I cannot change what people do. The issue is that what I feel or do is in my control.

Forgiveness is the process given me by God to awaken from the dream that I am at the mercy of the world. I am not. In the crucifixion in which Jesus forgave his tormentors, he was showing us that, even in the most extreme of circumstances, forgiveness is the answer. Did Jesus choose victimhood by blaming the Romans for crucifying him? No, he used it to teach that our only answer to attack is forgiveness.

Of course the hardest thing about giving up the victim stance is that I am left with no one to blame. Who is responsible for how I feel if the other person isn’t. Oooh! It must be me! No wonder I would rather be the victim. Who wants to be at fault? And how unfair is that? Someone does something to me; I feel bad; I am at fault? That’s not right! And yet, I cannot be happy as long as I am a victim. I get some small satisfaction from seeing someone else at fault, but that hardly makes up for my lack of peace, and lack of happiness.

So if victimhood isn’t the answer, why do we so often choose it? What’s the payoff? Well, for one thing, if someone else is responsible, I don’t have to do anything about it. If I am in pain because you treated me badly, then what am I supposed to do about it? You are the one who is to blame. You have to apologize, or in some way make up for your behavior for me to be happy again.

Isn’t this a common reaction in many relationships? Your partner takes her bad day out on you. You, of course, feel abused, and the victim of her bad temper. So what is more natural than to be angry with her until she apologizes? You have just put your feelings into her hands, and made her responsible for your well being. Not being responsible is the hook that pulls you into victimhood. And not being responsible is the pay off. If you are not responsible, you don’t have to do anything about it.

On the other hand, not taking responsibility for your own feelings is also the cost of victimization, because it leaves you in misery with no way out. Oh, you may have developed a system to manipulate her into accepting responsibility for your feelings. Probably a liberal application of guilt will get you what you think you need. But now you owe her because the guilt you seemed to have placed on her is making her miserable, and of course now you’re at fault. She is now the victim of your actions. What a vicious circle! And where does it end? The whole thing is insane.

It ends when one of you is sane enough to see what you are doing. Whichever one is most sane in the moment decides that the payoff of victimhood is not worth the cost. One person in the relationship decides to take responsibility for him or her self. This breaks the cycle. When anyone calls on the Holy Spirit to join them in forgiveness, then it is done. No more victim, no more perpetrator. No more need for someone to blame. It is never a question of who is really to blame. It is always a question of what do I really want? Do I want to be a victim? Do I want to find someone to blame, someone to make wrong, and so avoid the responsibility of taking action? Or do I want to be happy? What is my goal here?

If I choose happiness, the next step is easy. I decide that I am never the victim, and that forgiveness is always the answer. I form the habit of forgiveness, always inviting the Holy Spirit to join me in that process. After that, it is just a matter of making this my new way of doing things.  Like all habits, it only requires practice, and believe me, life will supply me with plenty of chances to practice.

We all play the victim sometimes, and we all play the victimizer at other times. What I propose is that we give up both roles. The only way for me to give up the role of victim is to forgive your role as victimizer. The only way for me to relinquish my role of victimizer is to stop seeing you as victim. I gladly forgive us both, because forgiveness through the Holy Spirit is my only ticket out of this mess. Because this solution is a “God solution” it will work for both of us and it will work every time. Hallelujah!

Rev. Myron Jones is a Pathways of Light minister living in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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The Movie Dream

by Rev. Mary Manke

As I am willing to see things differently, the gift is given and received.

Me: “Holy Spirit, how can I look at or feel the things that I’ve hidden, so that I can give them to you? The ego feels very threatened in this.”

Spirit: “That is the belief that you are not lovable, not accepted as you are right now.” 

Me: “I would like to let this belief go, now and forever. Please help me in this. I want to recognize and release those thoughts that block my awareness of Love. I want to remember Love.”

Spirit: “When you are the dreamer of the dream but do not realize it, everything that happens seems to come from ‘outside’ of you. You seem to have no control over the circumstance or others. Yet you are the dreamer. In your mind you made a world and filled it with bodies and billions of stories. And then you forgot that you made up the dream, and all the actors in it.

“If you are the dreamer, then nothing can be ‘done’ to you. Nothing can happen without your wish for it to be.

“When you took your journey from one state to another, you had no plan, no idea what would happen, yet you felt loved and guided. It was the choice in your mind that made it seem to be a positive step forward. It was your choice to ‘see’ it as a wholly helpful move, for this was the wish you held.

“You also thought that by making a physical move you could leave behind your past, and the roles that others seemed to have placed you in. But it was only you who put ‘you’ into certain roles or identities. It is you who have made the world what it seems to be, and you can learn that it is not so.”

Two days after this dialog with Spirit, I had a sleeping dream in which I was given the idea that I am ALL the actors that I see in my waking dream. I am the projector and dreamer of the movie I seem to be involved in. My delusional mind has made up all other players, acts out those roles, and instantly forgets that it has done so.

All the actors simply show me either my hidden thoughts that need correction, or they reflect the Love that I am behind all the masks and denial I have made. Every time I am able to look beyond the mask of an actor, I can choose to forgive the thought that made him/her. I cannot find my way out of the dream/movie without direction from One who sees what is true and what is false.

I can depend on this Inner Director to guide me, as He gives me only truth. I let the false go as easily as dropping a robe from my shoulders. I can let go of the false as I recognize that this movie has never brought me peace, joy or love. When I look with my Director, I see with eyes of Love. That gives me unlimited vision.

I am forever grateful for this Director Who holds the truth for me and helps me see beyond the movie/dream!

Rev. Mary Manke is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Markesan, Wisconsin. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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