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A Mother’s Trust

by Jessica Joy McNeil, Ministerial Candidate

I found A Course in Miracles about four years ago, soon after Jesus himself came to me in a life-changing vision. Finding the Course felt like coming home, as it was seemingly teaching me the things that I had already been shown by Jesus himself, while giving me the tools to dive deeper into these beautiful teachings.

Not long after discovering this miracle of a book, I was led to the Pathways of Light ministerial training. This training for me has been slower than for most, as I’ve made a lot of life changes within this time. But taking my time with it has allowed me to really connect everything that I’m learning to the experiences that I’m living, and this integration has led to an incredibly powerful and transformative practice.

I write these words as I look out my bedroom window upon another magical Florida sunset after a powerful thunderstorm. It seems perfectly fitting to be what my body’s eyes look upon as I tell this story. 

A couple of weeks ago I had an experience that was the scariest experience I’ve had thus far as a mother. It would have been completely different if it happened to me before finding the Course. The craziest thing about it was that it was really a miracle in disguise.

Basically, the story begins with a simple walk to the store with my three children, and my mother and grandfather, who were visiting from out of state.

While on this innocent walk, my eight-year-old son went missing. It began harmlessly enough, when, as we were walking through the neighborhood, my son ran into some of his little buddies. I told him that he could walk with them for a minute, then turn around and meet us at the store (a walk that we take almost daily).

As I know my son well, and he tends to get lost in his own world, I wanted to be sure that he didn’t get distracted in his joy, so no more than two minutes after I watched him walk away, I turned around myself to make sure that he turned around.

I then walked, and walked, and walked some more, and this beautiful child of mine was suddenly gone. I continued to walk around the neighborhood for at least 30 minutes calling his name, while consciously making an effort to release any tension that was creeping up in my body, and asking the Holy Spirit to heal any fear-based thoughts that were creeping in.

I was shown over and over a vision of my son playing games with his little friends at their house and my inner Guide told me again and again that all was well.

Unfortunately I had visitors, and we are understandably not at that same place of trust.

Suddenly my choices and my parenting were being brought into question (well played ego, well played). The fear would again start to creep in, and I would consciously push it back and lean into trust. You see, I knew in my heart where he was, but I didn’t know where these boys lived, as we know them from the pool and playing outside. We live in an area where there are hundreds of apartments surrounded by many single-family homes.

Not long after this I called some friends for help, and decided to get the police involved, as it was getting dark and there was a storm rolling in.

The more people that I brought into help, the further away I slipped from the Holy Spirit and from trust, and it took everything that I had not to get completely caught up in the energies of fear swirling around me through all of the blame and in my own feelings of guilt.

I am thankful to have a strong connection to my inner Guide (Holy Spirit), which I can definitely attribute to my years of diving deeply into the Course through my Pathways of Light ministerial training.

Throughout all of this I kept receiving a clear message to call Deb Fee, my ministry Facilitator, who has become one of my dearest friends.

She has an incredible ability to allow the Holy Spirit to guide our conversations, and to help me see things differently when I can’t seem to get there on my own.

Eventually, after a couple of hours, probably more, but time had ceased to exist at this point, I was able to ask everyone around me for some space, and I went into my room and finally called Deb. 

I can’t imagine that the conversation was easy for her, but she calmly let the Holy Spirit guide her words, which helped me to calm down and to connect with the peace within me, and no lie, as soon as I was able to find that peaceful place again, and surround myself with the healing Light that Jesus himself once taught me was always there, my beautiful child walked through the door.

It was the most incredible moment of learning just how amazing things can be if we truly, without any doubt, allow ourselves to trust in the pure Love of God, which is everything. 

What came next was the most beautiful part. My heart was bursting with Love, a Love that I could spread around. The whole experience brought everyone together, even people that just so happened to need a little push towards forgiveness and letting go.

Something that I am learning every day is that when these things happen, especially when they are the craziest things that can make us feel like we are going insane (and I’ve had quite a few lately), there is always something greater happening.

These “hard” experiences, if we are willing to change our perceptions and look at them through a different lens, can turn into the most beautiful moments of healing our fear based thoughts. And if we can truly let go and let God, anything is possible, and everything will always be okay.

Jessica Joy McNeil is a Pathways of Light ministerial candidate living in Cape Canaveral, Florida Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Love Created Me Like Itself

by Rev. Lee Catalano, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

“Arrogance makes an image of yourself that is not real.” (W-186)

The narcissistic ego identity is not the truth of anyone. We must first see how we have functioned in the world before we can let it go.

As a child, we came into the world ego-identified, looking to be unfairly treated. The ego, which is at war with God, created this whole entire physical world in order to play out that war. It’s all unconscious, but if you draw back and look, you can see it is true.

As we begin to see that something other than perfect Love is living out its need for suffering through us, we slowly awaken.

This ego mind does not just pack its bags and leave, oh no! The more you see it in yourself and others the more vicious it gets. It so wants to throw you off track it will throw every insult, betrayal, addiction and down-right pure evil it can lob at you.

Jesus Christ himself and every single one who had their awakening to the Peace of God had to go through the fire of temptation along the way.

It’s a mind training to be willing and perceive lilies where we once were at war with thorns. We believed our brother was handing us thorns, when in reality there are only lilies of Love, perfect Love. Physical identity gives thorns, the truth of perfect Love, which is our spiritual identity only offers lilies.Cat

Rev. Lee Catalano is a Pathways of Light minister living in Watertown, MA. E-mail: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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I Can Be Kind to Myself

by Rev. Greg Hesch, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

I can be kind to myself
when I am kind to another.

I can be kind to myself
when I think kindly of another.

I can be kind to myself
when I am kind to myself.

I can be kind to myself when
I am cooking or doing the dishes.

I can be kind to myself
when I am doing any chore.

I can be kind to myself
when I am reading or writing.

I can be kind to myself
no matter what the activity may be.

I can be kind to myself when
I carry kindness with me.

I can be kind to myself
wherever I go.

I can be kind to myself
when I pause for kindness.

I can be kind to myself
when I pause for peace.

I can be kind to myself
when I pause.

I can be kind to myself when
I stay in the present moment.

I can be kind to myself
when I give thanks.

I remain in peace
because kindness is me.

Rev. Greg Hesch, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in San Antonio, Texas. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Rules

by Rev. Paula Richards, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Skimming through a book of writing prompts, this one stood out, “Break your life (up to this point) into three chapters and give each chapter a title.” Instantly, these three headings came to mind:

1. Following the Rules  
2. Breaking the Rules
3. No Rules

Having already lived seventy years, those were broad generalizations to be sure, but it didn’t take me long to clearly see the dividing points.

Basically, I spent my first fifty years following the rules. There was a lot to love about that first chapter of my life, and I would make many of the same choices again, but it was a safe, predictable, conforming lifestyle. I rarely rocked the boat.

In chapter two, as I became more spiritually aware and inner-directed, I began acting in less traditionally accepted ways. I believe my decisions were divinely guided, but many of them rocked the boat. I would likely make those choices again too, but since I was still navigating the journey of learning which voice to trust, they weren’t easy to make. The end of those twenty years found me as a retired, single woman moving across the country for an adventure in Arizona.

Enter chapter three. This is the most carefree time of my life. I am no longer responsible for or beholden to anyone. I am living where I want to live, and I come and go as I please. Many days, I wake up to a clean slate, with nothing I must do. Don’t we all dream of that kind of freedom? Then, why is it sometimes so terrifying?

As a little girl, I remember going to the ocean with my family. When we first stepped onto the beach, the vast expanse of sand on which to run and play and the seemingly endless horizon would sometimes overwhelm and immobilize me. Which way do I go first? What if I get lost? Then mom or dad would take my hand and suggest that we build sandcastles or go dip our toes in the water. Gradually I would adjust to the vastness of it all and find my place within it.

Arizona may be landlocked but moving here feels kind of like when I first encountered the ocean. So much space, both mentally and physically. Each new day begs the question, what does Paula want? And what I’m discovering is that I’m not sure of the answer! One thing I am certain of is that I want to feel safe. When I arrived here, I was driven to get my new place furnished and decorated quickly. Visitors would marvel that I was already “so settled.” I do love decorating so it was fun, but I was aware that it also gave me a sense of security.

This human experience is one of limitations and boundaries. For seventy years I had my roles to play. Daughter, wife, mother, nurse, artist, caregiver, etc. And I let my life be somewhat dictated by those roles. What is defining me now? Yes, I’m creating art and doing some writing, but I have an enormous amount of space in which to live my life. The more freedom I have in which to make choices, the less clear I am about what choices to make. I’m discovering that a blank slate can be scary.

We are beautiful, unlimited spirits having a human experience, and we have so acclimated ourselves to living within the confines of physical and mental limitations that it can seem quite fearful to let them go. Being unlimited can feel more like death than life. We don’t remember how to handle so much space. I’m discovering that, when life gets too big, we find a way to rein ourselves back in.

Once I finished decorating my new home, I found a new direction by busying myself with one physical ailment after another, some of which felt life-threatening. My days became structured with medical appointments and even a trip or two to the emergency room. No serious diagnosis came from any of this. It was all fear-based. Now, I am settled in my lovely new home, have little or no responsibility, and have been given a clean bill of health. I’ve landed in the freedom I have always dreamed of. What now?

During the last twenty years, I learned to turn inward to access higher Wisdom some of the time. Now, I understand the importance of surrendering to that inner Guidance all the time. Do I really know what would make me happy, what is in my highest good, and how to stay “safe”? I’ve learned that, no, I don’t. But I’ve also learned that there is a wiser part of me that does know, that can help me safely expand into my vast potential as a Spirit Being while still dreaming that I am here on earth.

I felt strongly guided to move to the southwest. Spirit told me, the desert will lead you to your heart, where I will speak. So, each morning, before I become overwhelmed with the spaciousness of my new life, I remember to turn inward and let Spirit take my hand as I say, “I’m here. Now, what?”

Rev. Paula Richards, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Green Valley, AZ. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address): spiritrisingministries.com 508-517-9361

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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