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Disagreements? Pause

by Mary Lenihan, Founder of PauseForInspiration.org

There is probably not a day that goes by that we don’t disagree with someone on something. Is it possible that most disagreements will not amount to anything? Would it be such a big deal to simply let it go?

Five Job Corps students practiced Pause, Step Back, Step Aside and Let Inspiration Guide during a disagreement and experienced the following:

1. I realized that I don’t need this person’s approval.

2. It’s not worth the conflict, so I just walked away.

3. I saw where this could lead so I agreed to disagree.

4. I heard in the pause to not say what I was about to say, but I did and now I’m paying for it.

5. A friend brought someone I didn’t know to a party and they asked me to get in this guy’s car. We disagreed about what to do. I paused, heard in my mind not to get in the car and I didn’t get in the car.

Pause tips that may come in handy when disagreements arise:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Pause. It is up to you. Imagine pausing as absorbing a   moment’s peace. Let pausing restore you to your Inspired Mind.

2. Admit to Yourself How Your Thoughts, Words and Actions Contributed to the Disagreement. Usually the me-character is defending itself because it wants its own way; it doesn’t want to change. Pause for a change — for safe, wise and truly helpful thoughts, words and actions.

5. Ask Yourself, “What Am I Really Upset About?” Often we are upset about something else. Pause and ask your Inspired Mind to show you what’s really bothering you and listen for the solution.

The St. Louis Job Corps students are learning to use the practice of Pause when encountering disagreements to help prevent escalation and promote communication. We pause, not to deny the problem, not to shove down various emotions. Instead you are practicing getting out of your own way, which allows room to see another way, and being willing to see what would be truly helpful now.

Oh, when I don’t think I have time to pause, I pause twice as long!

Want to learn how to pause? Visit: PauseForInspiration.org  Mary Lenihan is the Co-founder of Pause For Inspiration, a 501(c)(3). Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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ACIM Text Questions and Answers

Pathways of Light staff

What is the ego’s idea of empathy?

In helping us look at the ego thought system with the Holy Spirit, one of the key sentences in this section is, “Having identified with what it thinks it understands, the ego sees itself and would increase itself by sharing what is like itself.” (T-16.1.2:4)

That is the ego’s idea of empathy. Because the ego is the idea of being separate from Love, of course it relates to stories of suffering, sacrifice and deprivation. It loves these stories because they increase its sense of a separate ‘self.’ They increase its sense that it has really made its world of specialness, of individuality, real. If we consistently practiced seeing past these stories with the help of the Holy Spirit, the ego would disappear.

How do we empathize with strength instead of weakness?

Jesus tells us, “To empathize does not mean to join in suffering, for that is what you must refuse to understand. That is the ego’s interpretation of empathy, and is always used to form a special relationship in which the suffering is shared.” (T-16.1.1:1-2)

This is like the saying that if someone has fallen down into a well, it is not helpful to him to jump down into the well with him. But it is helpful to hand him a rope so he has a means to get out of the well.

When we join with the Holy Spirit’s form of empathy, we do not decide on our own what true empathy means. Jesus tells us, “You are the learner; He the Teacher. Do not confuse your role with His, for this will never bring peace to anyone. Offer your empathy to Him for it is His perception and His strength that you would share. And let Him offer you His strength and His perception, to be shared through you.” (T-16.1.5:6-9)

It’s important to remember that the ego always wants to reinforce our belief in separation because that is what holds the ego in place. The Holy Spirit always returns us to the awareness of our unity. When we joined with the ego thought system, we believed we were a separate self identity which we thought was our “reality.” This is why we cannot know true empathy on our own. We need help from outside the ego thought system. This is why it is so important to learn “that to recognize and accept the fact that you do not know is to recognize and accept the fact that He does know.” (T-16.1.4:4)

Jesus tells us very specifically how to do this when he says, “If you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate through you, you will empathize with strength, and will gain in strength and not in weakness.” (T-16.1.2:7)

To receive the Holy Spirit’s guidance we need to be in peace; we need to take time to quiet our minds and be receptive. The ego’s first impulse will always be to reinforce separation. Our vigilance to not follow this first impulse but to step back and open our minds to the Holy Spirit’s guidance allows us to be taught what true empathy is.

He tells us, “Focus your mind only on this: I am not alone, and I would not intrude the past upon my Guest. I have invited Him and He is here. I need do nothing except not to interfere.” (T-16.1.3:9-12)

As we diligently practice this stepping back and not interfering, we will experience the Holy Spirit’s empathy through us and thus learn what it is. The form in which this empathy is expressed will vary according to each situation but the feeling of unity will be the same. As always the Holy Spirit will use every situation to teach us of the reality of oneness, if we let Him.

The ego thought system is belief in weakness — separation from the strength of Love. The ego uses relationships in order to reinforce belief in weakness and loss. But we are told here that the opposite is true.

“The meaning of love is lost in any relationship that looks to weakness, and hopes to find love there. The power of love, which is its meaning, lies in the strength of God that hovers over it and blesses it silently by enveloping it in healing wings.” (T-16.1.6:1-2)

What is everyone’s true need?

In this world of separation, it appears that we have different needs. The truth is that we all have only one real need and that need is to return to remembering our one identity as one Self in the Mind of God. When our brother asks us to empathize with him by reinforcing his belief in weakness, he is asking a foolish thing. It is only the Holy Spirit in our mind that can recognize the difference between foolish needs and our only one real need, which is to wake up from the trap of belief in individuality. In our current state of mind we do not realize that our belief in weakness, lack or loss is inherently tied to our belief in specialness or individuality. That is why Jesus tells us, “No needs will long be left unmet if you leave them all to Him Whose function is to meet them. That is His function, and not yours.” (T-16.1.7:4-5)

What is Jesus’ advice regarding all our relationships?

The Holy Spirit remembers we are all one and that we all still remain the same as we were created by God. We could never be weak in truth and we could never get sick and die. As we learn to step back and not think we know anything on our own, we leave room for the Holy Spirit to work through us. That is why Jesus gives us this advice in reference to all of our relationships: “What you give through Him is for the whole Sonship, not for part of it. Leave Him His function, for He will fulfill it if you but ask Him to enter your relationships, and bless them for you.” (T-16.1.7:8-9).

Click here to view Questions and Answers for the full ACIM Text.

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Finding Inner Guidance — Your True Self,  Free Weekly Teleconference

by Revs. Cindy Bartholome & Mike Atkins

A support group for the Pathways of Light program ”Listen & Receive” and for anyone interested in strengthening their awareness of their own Inner Teacher.

All Are Welcome!

Join us every week in a safe, loving and healing environment where we can share our thoughts and experiences, ask questions, experience beautiful and inspiring meditations and practice listening to the One True Loving Self within us all. For more information about this teleconference, click here.

Tuesday Evenings
at 7:30 p.m. Eastern time, 4:30 Pacific time
Call 605-475-4927, access code: 181133#
(Call a 10-15 minutes ahead)
Click here for tips for easy teleconference access.

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Listen & Receive 30-Day Home Study Program

Pathways of Light

You have a Teacher within Who is perfect for you. This Teacher is always present in your mind, waiting for you to listen and receive. Quieting your mind and being receptive to your Inner Teacher is your ultimate pathway Home.
With this “Listen and Receive” program you will learn to receive inner Guidance for your life in a form that is perfect for you. This Guidance can help you heal fears and old hurts, and find the joy, peace and Love that you so richly deserve. It’s like a 30-day detox program from the ego thought system.
The program includes 4 workbooks, one for each week of the 30 days (138 pages total). It includes a message for each day, a guided meditation CD for daily use, and a laminated focus card for each week. The meditation helps you deeply relax, let go and become aware of the presence of your Inner Teacher and receive insight. $19.95 Click here to order.

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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