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Transforming Guilt into Kindness

by Revs. Mary & Robert Stoelting

What is kindness? Kindness is an attribute of Love. How do we return to being aware of the Love we all are?

In A Course in Miracles we are told,

“Praise be to you who make the Father one with His Own Son. Alone we are all lowly, but together we shine with brightness so intense that none of us alone can even think of it. Before the glorious radiance of the Kingdom guilt melts away and, transformed into kindness, will never more be what it was.” (T-13.X.14:1-3, underline added)

Our journey is a journey of mind healing. When we forget the fact that nothing has happened to change the unity of God’s one Son, we are forgetting that everyone in this dream world is still changeless Love as God created them. It is not a happy experience to forget that only eternal Love is real. When we are not happy, we are not being kind to ourselves or others.

Over the years we have made it a practice of joining together to notice when we get caught up in the ego’s dream of seeing guilt outside us. One important clue that helps us is to pay attention to when we start judging and making a big deal in our minds about someone’s behavior. We have noticed that we are not happy or peaceful when we are judging another and we are only hurting ourselves by holding on to these thoughts.

Once we recognize that we are judging, we can then step back and invite the Holy Spirit to heal our minds. As we do this, we receive a change of mind about the situation. We experience the gentle truth that guilt gets transformed into kindness. We find that as we move into the mindset of kindness, awareness of Love’s presence returns to our troubled minds.

In the Course we are told, “The grace of God rests gently on forgiving eyes, and everything they look on speaks of Him to the beholder. He can see no evil; nothing in the world to fear, and no one who is different from himself. 

…The kindness of his sight rests on himself with all the tenderness it offers others. For he would only heal and only bless. And being in accord with what God wills, he has the power to heal and bless all those he looks on with the grace of God upon his sight.” (T-25.VI.1:1-2, 6-8)

Examples of Applying This in Our Lives

Mary: I found myself getting upset when I did not receive the product I ordered online for a recipe I wanted to make. It turns out that the product I ordered was sent to another address which also had the word “Oak” in it.

When we asked the company to send it to the correct address, they asked us to drive to the post office and request the needed proof that it wasn’t delivered to our address. I again found myself getting upset and thought that the 50 minutes it took for us to get verification from the post office of where the product was mailed was enough reason to be disgruntled.

After taking the time to go to an inner place of peace, the Holy Spirit helped me realize that I was not being kind to myself or my brother by getting angry about what I thought was going on. From this place of inner quiet it came to me that this was a perfect example of how I was judging the situation and was projecting guilt instead of extending kindness.

I mentally thanked the company for helping me with this important lesson to see when I was projecting guilt and to allow these thoughts to be transformed into kindness, an attribute of Love. I felt such gratitude that this experience, which I brought upon myself, was being healed as I let my mind be transformed by the Holy Spirit.

Robert: Last spring I spent 10 days in the hospital. During that time I was inspired to focus on appreciation for all that the experience presented to me. There were many opportunities. When nurses came in several times during the night, I felt happy to see them and naturally smiled. I felt and expressed gratitude for the help that the staff gave when I needed help.

Sometimes when I asked for help, the response seemed slow. But I remembered that I had no idea what caused the delay. It was not for me to have an opinion. I was reminded to be grateful that I was okay and help would arrive in plenty of time. I returned to an attitude of gratitude and felt peaceful.

One of the nurses talked about how stressful it was to her when patients expressed impatience and anger toward her. I was inspired to remind her that it was not personal. The patients were just afraid and feeling out of control, so they were projecting their fear on her. She could mentally let the projection pass by like a bullfighter says “olé.”

Another nurse who came in several nights during my stay said I was her favorite patient because I was always happy and smiling. I often called those who came to my room earth angels, from the janitors and plumber to the technicians, doctors and administrators. They all felt like angels to me.

In an environment where people come because they are physically uncomfortable and usually unhappy with their situation, it can be helpful for their caregivers to be offered the gift of appreciation for their service. They are there because they are motivated to give. Appreciation for their gifts recharges their motivation.

Though I remember I was there because of a physical need, I do not remember any pain. My focus on appreciation turned out to be a blessing for me as well. When I think of the experience, I remember the help and kindness of all those I met. And I smile.

Practice, Practice, Practice

As we continue to make it a daily practice of letting the Holy Spirit fill our minds with peace, patience and forgiveness, we become more aware of how much we are loved and how much we love every brother.

In Lesson 157 of the Workbook for Students we are told, “This day is holy, for it ushers in a new experience; a different kind of feeling and awareness. You have spent long days and nights in celebrating death. Today you learn to feel the joy of life.”

“From this day forth, your ministry takes on a genuine devotion, and a glow that travels from your fingertips to those you touch, and blesses those you look upon. A vision reaches every­one you meet, and everyone you think of, or who thinks of you. For your experience today will so transform your mind that it becomes the touchstone for the holy Thoughts of God.”

“…the Holy One, the Giver of the happy dreams of life, Translator of perception into truth, the holy Guide to Heaven given you, has dreamed for you this journey which you make and start today, with the experience this day holds out to you to be your own.”

Every brother is one with us in the Self Love created like Itself. Every thought we accept in our mind is heard throughout the Sonship. Our only real Thoughts are the Thoughts of Love we share with God. Thus our Thoughts of Love are a blessing to the world as much as they are a blessing to our Self.

We are unaware of the ongoing Thoughts of Love in our mind while we give our allegiance to the ego, which denies Love. This allegiance leads to dreams of guilt and fear. But we can choose to give our allegiance to the Holy Spirit, Who dreams for us a dream of expressions of Love, peace and happiness. We cannot serve two masters simultaneously. We serve either the ego or the Holy Spirit.

We enter into God’s presence by choosing the Holy Spirit to guide our dream. With His guidance, we learn to let go of the past, for His lesson teaches that the past is gone and cannot affect us now. With His help our dream becomes a dream of kindness, gentleness, peace and happiness. We join you in the happy practice of choosing this today.

Revs. Robert and Mary Stoelting, co-founders of Pathways of Light, reside in Ormond Beach, Florida, where they, along with a Pathways of Light team, continue to operate the office and publish the quarterly Miracles News magazine. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Chronic & Critical Illness Support Teleconference

by Rev. Maria Kingsley, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

When: First Saturday of each month 12:30 p.m. eastern, 11:30 a.m. central, 9:30 a.m. pacific time.

Call 605-475-4927, access code: 181133# (Call a few min. ahead)

This free teleconference is for anyone who has a Chronic or Critical Illness and caregivers.

We discuss questions from those attending the meeting plus the issues brought up through requests during the month. We also work with course 909: Wellness Through Mind Healing.

Rev. Maria Kingsley is a Pathways of Light minister living in Tucson, Arizona. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  P.O. Box 35122   Call: 520-780-0170

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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One More Kiss Goodnight

by Rev. Mike Atkins, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

My partner, Mike, died last summer at the age of 56. He was diagnosed with end stage COPD in September of 2009 and told he probably had three to four years left. With a lot of love, and a willingness to explore all options, we were blessed to have ten more years together. It wasn’t easy, but somehow we managed to take care of it all, and I know we both did everything we could.

A few weeks ago, I was cleaning up his office and found a notebook on his desk. Inside, there were several pages where he had written down some random thoughts, as if he were brainstorming the problem and trying to figure out what to do. It was all an explanation as to why everything was his fault. There was even a page that said “my fault,” with arrows drawn to every item in a list of problems.

I was very upset when I found this, and I reached out to my spiritual counselor, Rev. Barbara Siegel, who always inspires me to do my best. She suggested that I might write a letter to Mike.

Dear Mike,

Today, I found what you had written in the little yellow notepad on your desk. It breaks my heart to think that you could believe those things about yourself. It’s not true.

You didn’t deserve this, Mike. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were never a burden, and you were not a parasite. You couldn’t take anything from me that I wouldn’t give you. I gave you what I had. That’s all. That’s what it was for. That’s why it was there when we needed it.

You’ve never been anything but good to me. You saved my life, when I didn’t even know that’s what I wanted. The only thing I could ever possibly regret is if we didn’t do everything we could to save yours. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I love you. I’m so grateful for every moment we had together. I don’t regret a single second, and I don’t miss a dime. I miss you.

You are, so far and above, the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much. I miss you more than I ever could have imagined. Every day, I still wake up thinking of you, and every night I walk into your room and say “Goodnight, Mike” and “I love you” to an empty bed. Then I bend down to say goodnight to Cooper, because Cooper doesn’t sleep in my room anymore. He sleeps on the floor at the foot of your bed, and spends most of his day guarding the front door, waiting for his best friend to come home.

It’s still so hard for me to believe you’re not just in the other room right now, sitting in front of your computer. It’s strange you’re not there. Nothing is real. It’s like I’m sleepwalking through a bad dream. Months have passed, but I still don’t know what to do without you. The house is too quiet, and you’re not here anymore. That wasn’t supposed to happen for a long time. I don’t wish for things. But I have confessed to God in prayer, many times over these past few months, that I would give anything just to hear your voice again.

A few days ago, while I was in the middle of a run, I was suddenly aware of pressure around my forearm right above my wrist, which, after just a few seconds, slid down into my hand, and I felt your hand in mine. I stopped and grabbed my wrist and froze, staring at my hand. It wasn’t your voice, but I knew it was the comfort I had asked for. Overcome with joy and relief, and with tears in my eyes, I began thanking you and God and Holy Spirit, loudly and profusely. I’m sure it was quite the sight, but that didn’t matter. Feeling blessed and reassured on so many different levels, peace and happiness were with me, and the rest of the day was a very good day.

That same night, I lay in bed and cried and asked Spirit to please let me hear your voice again if He could.

I was so confused and disappointed. I felt broken. I didn’t understand how I got back to the tears. There was something wrong with me. How could I be feeling this pain again, mere hours after a miraculous healing experience? It was hopeless. I remember thinking, “This is not getting any better,” and then everything stopped.

Just like that, the pain was gone, and I was calm and got very quiet. I closed my eyes. I thought of your hand holding mine. This perfect gift I’d been given. An answer to my prayers. What more did I want? What was I asking for? And then it came to me; “Why the voice?”

As soon as I heard the question, I knew the answer was because I wanted to hear you say that everything was going to be okay. I knew I was just making the same old mistake again. I believed I knew, all on my own, exactly what would bring me peace, and I was insisting on having it my way. I was blind. You held my hand. What could I be unsure of anymore?

The answer came again, and it surprised me: I’m not. That’s why I’m here. I’ve agreed to salvation and that’s why I’m experiencing it. So now I see a world where “all things are lessons God would have me learn.” Sometimes it’s most helpful to repeat lessons. That’s okay. It’s all part of His Plan. It’s all practice, and everything I experience can only bring me closer to the truth. Whenever I pay attention, I can see this is true.

My path seems very difficult to me at times. I’ve got a lot of company. We all have help that cannot fail. I think back now on all the miracles I’ve received throughout my life. So many of them could be dismissed as coincidence, I suppose. But just the other day, you held my hand. I’m sure that can be explained away as well, but it would be a much harder sell.

The world says you’re gone, but you’re still lighting my way. You’ll always be there for me somehow. You’ve shown me that love can never die. That you did do. That is the truth; I am so grateful to know that you’ll remember that, and not something you wrote down at, what almost certainly was, the worst possible time. As always, you deserve nothing but all my love and appreciation, and that you will have forever. And when my time comes, I’ll think of you, and I’ll be able to close my eyes with a smile and know that everything’s going to be okay.

Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.

Rev. Michael Atkins, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister in Georgetown, Texas. Email:mea35tx@hotmail.com

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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A Simple Process for Experiencing Peace

by Rev. Jennifer McSween, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Workbook Lesson 34 “I could see peace instead of this” was one of the many lessons with which I struggled, like most of us who become students of the Course do, coming from the world in which what we see with our eyes is considered to be “reality,” or as the late Ken Wapnick referred to it: “The 2 + 2 = 4 world.”

I got that the “this” in the lesson title referred to whatever it was that was not being seen or experienced in a peaceful way. Where I had difficulty was how to go about seeing or experiencing in a peaceful way the circumstance, situation or condition that by appearance was not peaceful or seemed to be the cause of my lack of peace. 

The answer came to me when I found myself faced with a situation that I felt completely took me off my peace. The specifics of the situation aren’t relevant. But what is relevant, is that I was convinced that my lack of peace was caused by the specifics of the situation. If I could make the right decision to change the situation, I would be at peace.

I felt the right decision had to be one that was well-intentioned, logically sound, and shouldn’t cause any loss or pain to anyone concerned. An option became clear to me that not only met that criteria but also promised some additional benefits that I would have never imagined. So, naturally I thought I was being divinely guided and that making “that” decision would bring me the peace I was seeking.

But as the new situation unfolded, I began to experience an increasing feeling of “dis-ease” and soon I was no longer at peace with this decision. Something just didn’t feel “right.” I was very confused. I felt every aspect of the decision met the criteria for making the right decision. It was well-intentioned, logically sound, and benefited everyone involved. Why didn’t it “feel” right? Why didn’t I feel peaceful?

I turned to Workbook Lesson 34, “I could see peace instead of this” and started reading, hoping to find some kind of direction because clearly, I was missing something. The second line in the first paragraph stood out boldly as if lit up by a neon sign and I felt like I was seeing it for the first time. The line said: “Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter.” (WpI.34.1:2)

It was as if a light bulb went on in my head as I immediately realized why I was not at peace in either situation. Peace — experiencing peace — feeling peaceful or being at peace comes from “being” in a peaceful state of mind, not from having circumstances, conditions or situations that you think will bring you peace.

In both situations I had been looking at or to the situation as being responsible for my peace of mind. I blamed the first situation for my lack of peace and looked to the change in the situation to bring me peace. I was perceiving and identifying with myself as a body. This will always lead to an experience of vulnerability and the belief that you are capable of being victimized or unfairly treated in some way. This perspective will never lead you to experience peace of mind. 

The next line confirmed that burst of insight as it said: “It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.” (WpI.34.1:4) Perceiving anything in a peaceful way can only come from a mind that is choosing to rest in the awareness of the truth about who we are and what is taking place, instead of choosing to believe in appearances that suggest something other than the truth is possible.

This meant that all I needed to do to experience peace in both those situations in which I found myself (as paradoxical as this sounds) was to “choose” to be in a peaceful state of mind. However, this brought me right back to my original question: “How to be at peace or be in a peaceful state of mind — how to “see” peace as the lesson title states — when faced with something that, by all appearances, is disturbing to my peace of mind?”

Line 4 of Paragraph 5 of Workbook Lesson 34 states “I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it.”

It is one of the ways the Lesson teaches to practice applying the idea “I could see peace instead of this,” to a specific form or situation in which your peace of mind is threatened. Since saying those words weren’t bringing me peace because I didn’t seem to grasp “how” to see peace, I decided to say them in the form of the question: “How could I see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it?” And I literally got quiet and waited…

As I sat quietly, the letters “I-R-E-S-T” slowly came into my awareness in the form of an acronym, where each letter referred to an idea or a perspective that made me feel more and more peaceful. It felt like I was being shown a “Step-by-Step Process” for being at peace. The acronym is as follows:

“I” — IDENTIFY with your true Self and the truth of what is taking place in every moment or situation;

“R” — REMEMBER that this means you cannot be hurt, harmed or affected by anything or anyone because all that is taking place, regardless of appearances, is that you’re experiencing the contents of the thoughts in your mind, according to your perception;

“E” — ENTERTAIN this perception in every moment;

“S” — SEE everyone as sharing the same identity as you and that they too, see and experience everything according to their perceptions;

“T” — TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for everything you feel in every moment or situation instead of perceiving yourself as being “made” to feel anything, by anyone or anything that seems to be happening to you or taking place outside you;

This simple process immediately cleared up my confusion regarding how to “see” peace. I have used this Process repeatedly since that time and not once has it failed to lead me to experience peace when I felt disturbed. The only times it doesn’t work, are the times when I find myself not willing to “see” peace.

Rev. Jennifer McSween, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light Minister living in Montreal, Canada. She Hosts a Weekly Podcast You can Listen to at: http://www.revjennifermcsweenpodcast.com Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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