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True Healing Is a Change of Mind

by Rev. Gail Hamley, O.M.C.

The world you see but shows you how much joy you have allowed yourself to see in you, and to accept as yours. And, if this is its meaning, then the power to give it joy must lie within you. (T-21.Intro. 2:7-8)

This quote is particularly interesting to me because I notice how one moment I can be in the throws of judgment and the next I can be laughing and full of joy or vice versa and nothing has changed except my perception! Certainly an extraterrestial being looking into my mind would declare me insane. Yet this is how I (and all of us) live our lives, moment by moment. To bring this home a bit, I will share a recent experience. Truly, God works in miraculous ways and uses everything for our healing!

January is my birthday month and I was gifted with many opportunities to go out to dinner and celebrate. To my surprise, many of my men friends from years ago returned to visit over dinner in honor of my birthday. Dinner after dinner after dinner, I was celebrated. After the flurry of activity, I went into a deep depression. Wow, so unexpected. Was I having too much fun? But in this darkness I began to judge and find fault with them and with myself. They were too critical, too self-absorbed, too this or too that. Then one night I had a dream. In the dream were two men. Each man held all of the characteristics I had attributed to the men in my ‘waking’ life. In the middle was me. Without going into all the details of this extraordinary dream, I began to understand that the men in my dream were me. (Carl Jung would be proud). All the characteristics I had attributed to them were aspects of myself.

The dream was so deep and meaningful that I could not forget it. This experience caused me to recall Jesus’ words about our sleeping dream and waking dream being the same. I saw how I was judging the dear men who had come back into my life and that their true gift to me was to heal me. This was the crux of the entire scenario: My entire life I had the opinion that I needed to heal my relationships with men. After three painful marriages and a number of unsuccessful dating experiences, I believed that the men I chose in relationship were unhealthy and unsafe. I gave up. Healing was not going to happen in this lifetime.

I had forgotten to ask myself what healing meant to me. That may have been the first step in true healing, for it is always a change of perception, a change of mind. But, I continued to blame others instead. However, in a flash of insight, I Realized that this healing had to take place within me! Duh! How long had I been studying ACIM?? As long as I perceived that there was something wrong with them (which is what I had been doing to protect myself from love), then my perception would always be cloudy with fear.

The veil dropped. Only love is Real. I recalled all of the wonderful things the men in my life have done for me — all of the small considerations like opening the door for me, or fixing a broken towel rod, or painting a white room red. I remembered their hand on my back, their hand reaching for mine, and their voice as they read to me when I was sick, the movies that made us laugh, the walks… so many beautiful memories.

Perhaps they were not to stay in my life any longer than they did. I had labeled them toxic in some instances. Now I have a deeper understanding of them and of myself. The only toxicity is of a judging mind that thinks it must protect. The next part of Chapter 21 is called “The Forgotten Song” and I am grateful that the rhythm of joy and gratitude have been recalled within me. The Song of Love is always there and never really forgotten.

Rev. Gail Hamley is a Pathways of Light minister living in Tustin, California.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Love Never Gets Empty

Rev. Gail Tola, O.M.C.

Recently my daughter-in-law’s mother passed away. For her six year old granddaughter, I thought it would be very confusing. Her illness lasted about four weeks before her death. Quite a short time for the adults in the family to come to grips with her loss.

At her mother’s birthday party a couple of weeks later, Ellie (granddaughter) went around to all the adults with a heart shaped can her Grandma Barb had given her. She asked me if I wanted to see inside. I said, “Sure.” The can appeared to be empty. Ellie said, “Can you feel her and see her in Spirit? Her love fills this can.”

I said, “Oh you better close it so it doesn’t get away.” She said, “No, it never gets empty. There is always more.”

She went around and showed all the adults and the children. Some adults were not too attentive and some cried, but all the children (ages 4-6) got all excited.

I myself had forgotten there is never a shortage of love. We just need to connect more to feel it. As adults we may spend more time in our heads and need to spend more time moving our thoughts and feeling down into our hearts.

I thought it was a wonderful thing for her to do. You could see she was nervous about telling everyone, but she did it because she thought it needed to be told. I was prompted to write her a letter of thanks for sharing her feelings and her heart can full of her Grandmother’s love. I was just so proud of her that I wanted to share.

Rev. Tola is a Pathways of Light minister living in Wixom, Michigan.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Let the Past Go or Hold On to It?

by Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C.

This movie awards season has brought together two coincidently similar yet contrasting movies. Both are true stories, both have major events happening in the middle of last century, both involve travel between the UK and America, and both feature women and the traumatic life events they have experienced as young people. And yet, even with all these similarities they offer two clear examples of the effects of forgiving the past or not forgiving the past.

In the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” the main character is P. L. Travers the Author of Mary Poppins. Mrs. Travers has an opportunity to work with Walt Disney on making her children’s book into a motion picture. In the telling of her story we are shown flashbacks of her childhood revolving mostly about her father. He was a fun and empowering father and also at times a moody unreliable father. Her father was both a very good father and an inadequate father. In addition, her father died when she was young. One can imagine the deep emotional abandonment she experienced during her formative years.

The movie “Philomena,” her story is no less tragic. She had keep the secret of having had a child when she was a teenager. With help of a reporter, she sets out on the search for this first born child 50 years after his birth. This movie also uses flash backs in the telling of her childhood. We see her enter the convent as a pregnant, naive, very young woman. She has been left at the convent by her only remaining parent, her father. He had not told her about sex and how women get pregnant and now he has dropped her off and disowned her for becoming pregnant. We see how the young mothers at this convent became indentured servants and their children are put up for adoption. One can imagine the feelings of deep emotional abandonment she too has experienced.

Undoubtedly, both of these women have a past that could create a lifetime wound.

In the adult depiction of Mrs. Travers, sadly, she seems to be stuck in an angry state of mind. Mrs. Travers is working at Disney, immersed in what is arguably a lifetime opportunity instead she is resistant and begrudgingly involved. Her behavior is defended and self-righteous and frankly she seems to loath everyone she encounters. She is not able to be at peace. It seems that she has very few moments of joy.

In contrast the adult Philomena does not seem to be carrying resentment about her early life experiences. She is on a difficult search for her long lost child and she remains open to people along the way. We see her enjoying experiences, being thankful for simple pleasures and we see her forgiving. She is embarking on an emotionally difficult journey and she is able to access peace and she is open to joy.

These two examples can clearly show us how we have a choice. We can hold on to our view of being a victim or we can make another choice. We can be angry or we can choose peace. I know that we teach what we most need to learn, so I am talking to myself here too.

In ACIM it says, To be born again is to let the past go, and look without condemnation upon the present. (T-13.VI.3:5) It can seem important to hold onto hurtful memories of the past as if it offers some defense. If it offers any defense at all, it offers a blanket defense that keeps you from experiencing the now with fresh new eyes. Holding on is not a pathway to peace. This quote form ACIM simply says, “let the past go.” I can do that. Instead, I choose peace, I choose love, I choose joy.

Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Pflugerville, Texas.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Weighing Heavy on My Mind

by Rev. Liz Swearsky, O.M.C.

A Message from Spirit: “I want to tell you how beautiful you are, how perfect and magnificent you are as a holy child of God. This is still foreign to you. Really embody it. You embody it by allowing God to work through you. Let go. Don’t be stressed out about anything. Smile and know that everything is fine and just how it is supposed to be. Be Love. Embody love for that is what you are. Love isn’t fat! “

I heard this as I was getting ready to write about something that has been challenging me for a while; my weight. Mind you, I am not overweight, but in the past, I have been obsessed with becoming overweight. It stems from a mother and father that were very critical of my body growing up. (I think I have some forgiving to do!) I thought that I had moved on with the issue, but maybe there is a new opportunity for me for a deeper healing. Especially since now that I am going through menopause(!), it seems to be creeping its way back into my thoughts, (and the fact that I have gone up a size or two). It is time again to hand it over to Holy Spirit.

So, how do I do that with regards to eating? It’s not about eating silly! It’s about realizing your Truth. And, oh yeah, it also means that if you are going to put God/Spirit in charge, you better let go of your fear of Him. Nouk Sanchez talks about this extensively. I for sure am working on that. I also know that I am not alone. We all have to eat. There is no way of getting around it. Therefore, there is no way of getting around the fact that we have to let go of this existential fear. So, when I am wanting something that I shouldn’t be eating or wanting too much of something, I say, “I release my fear of God. Thank You God.” I do this constantly, many times a day and apply it to everything that I am having “trouble” with. Fear of God is the ultimate, unconscious cause when we put ego in charge. Then I say, “I let go and let God.”

In addition to this, I am reading a book, A Course in Weight Loss, by Marianne Williamson. It comes from the perspective of a ACIM student/teacher. This is what she writes, “Lesson 5: Start a Love Affair With Food. You probably read this chapter title over a couple of times thinking that you’d caught a typo. Perhaps you thought I must have meant end your love affair with food, not start one. But nope, you read it right the first time. It’s time for you to start a real love affair with food.
What you’ve had up to this point has been an obsessive relationship, and an obsessive relationship is not love. Whether with a substance or with a person, an obsessive relationship is a dance of the wounded… a carnival of pain… but not a real love affair, because there is no love there. To think you need food that you don’t really need, to practically inhale food, to crave food, to obsess about food, to binge on and then alternately avoid food, to control food and need to be rigid around it — none of these bespeak a love affair. Pain and compulsion and self-hate are not love.

“The true lover of food is able to take time with it. She can savor food, and non-neurotically delight in it. She can chew it thoroughly and actually taste it. She can eat without guilt and stop eating without too great an effort. She can celebrate how food is contributing to her health. She can wonder at it and appreciate its beauty… She can shop for groceries without wondering if anyone is watching her or judging her. She can gaze at a pretty bunch of grapes and consider whether she’d prefer them in her stomach or in a crystal bowl on her table. She can take one bite of something delicious, ecstatically breathe in the taste and enjoy waiting before taking another bite… No, the compulsive over eater is no lover of food. When it comes to your enjoyment of eating, your best days are not behind you, but ahead of you.”

In the final lesson, she writes, “Feel not only the physical; feel the body brilliant. When sitting, feel your body… then sense the spiritual body that sits within you. Simply feel its presence; that is all you need to do. Feel not only the physical; feel the body brilliant. When standing, feel your body… then sense the spiritual body that stands within you. Simply feel its presence; that is all you need to do. Feel not only the physical; feel the body brilliant. When walking, feel your body… then sense the spiritual body that walks within you. Simply feel its presence; that is all you need do. These are subtle actions, yet they can change your life. For what you feel is what you will feed. The fact that this will diminish your weight is almost incidental… You are leaving behind a merely material sense of who you are, and identifying instead with the spirit within you. In the spiritual realm, you carry no excess substance, because you are love and love only.” Lovely words indeed.

Rev. Liz Swearsky, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Southington, Connecticut.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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