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Study of the Text 6-13-13

6-13-13
3 Spirit need not be taught, but the ego must be. Learning is ultimately perceived as frightening because it leads to the relinquishment, not the destruction, of the ego to the light of spirit. This is the change the ego must fear, because it does not share my charity. My lesson was like yours, and because I learned it I can teach it. I will never attack your ego, but I am trying to teach you how its thought system arose. When I remind you of your true creation, your ego cannot but respond with fear.

Jesus is emphasizing that the ego must be taught, and he is warning me that this teaching is going to be perceived as frightening to the ego. Even though relinquishment to the light is not its destruction, the ego feels threatened and will resist. Understanding this, there is no need to feel upset when I seem to resist the very thing I am trying to attain.

For instance, I have been using the prayer, “Reveal to me my innocence.” This prayer is very important to my ultimate goal, which is to return my mind to God, and yet I resist the thing I ask for. I judge myself and I see guilt everywhere I look. The ego mind, which I am still identified with, is terrified of change of this magnitude. When I resist my own desires it confuses me and makes me doubt myself, but understanding why I resist makes me feel more comfortable with this behavior. It is to be expected and doesn’t mean anything. With this clarity I am at ease with simply continuing my practice and disregarding the ego resistance. 

4 Teaching and learning are your greatest strengths now, because they enable you to change your mind and help others to change theirs. Refusing to change your mind will not prove that the separation has not occurred. The dreamer who doubts the reality of his dream while he is still dreaming is not really healing his split mind. You dream of a separated ego and believe in a world that rests upon it. This is very real to you. You cannot undo it by not changing your mind about it. If you are willing to renounce the role of guardian of your thought system and open it to me, I will correct it very gently and lead you back to God.

This sentence made me laugh. The dreamer who doubts the reality of his dream while he is still dreaming is not really healing his split mind. I laughed because that is what I do. It is such a good ego plan. I say I want to wake up and the ego part of my mind that doesn’t want to wake up proposes a compromise. I can learn that I am dreaming this life, which satisfies the spiritual ego, while never moving further out of the dream, which soothes the ego’s fears of destruction.

Jesus is reminding us that we really believe in our story of a separate ego and a whole world that rests upon it. If we believe that we are living this life, how can we teach ourselves that we are not actually living this life? It just is not possible. I can teach myself that this is a dream, but it will all be just a concept that I do not actually believe because I am believing the opposite.

There is only one way out of this and that is the plan of Atonement. Jesus found the exit and he is teaching us so that we, too, can get out. The only thing we have to do is to stop guarding our beliefs so that they can be changed. I am not being asked to do the impossible. I am not being asked to believe something that is diametrically opposed to my beliefs. I am asked only to stop defending those beliefs, to open my mind to the Holy Spirit, and allow them to be corrected for me.

The only thing stopping me from taking this easy step is my fear of change. I really do believe that allowing change to the ego thought system will destroy me. Jesus is using A Course in Miracles to gently teach me that this is not true. His whole job here apparently, is to convince me that I don’t have to be afraid of God, which is my true nature, my true Self.

That’s it! That’s all that is required of me! I only need to believe Jesus when he tells me that he relinquished his fear and it was ok. Not only did nothing bad happen, but it was actually salvation. Just let go of my fear, let my defenses go, and I am healed. I return to knowing instead of perceiving. I return to true creation. I return to bliss.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 6-12-13

6-12-13
2 Many stand guard over their ideas because they want to protect their thought systems as they are, and learning means change. Change is always fearful to the separated, because they cannot conceive of it as a move towards healing the separation. They always perceive it as a move toward further separation, because the separation was their first experience of change. You believe that if you allow no change to enter into your ego you will find peace. This profound confusion is possible only if you maintain that the same thought system can stand on two foundations. Nothing can reach spirit from the ego, and nothing can reach the ego from spirit. Spirit can neither strengthen the ego nor reduce the conflict within it. The ego is a contradiction. Your self and God’s Self are in opposition. They are opposed in source, in direction and in outcome. They are fundamentally irreconcilable, because spirit cannot perceive and the ego cannot know. They are therefore not in communication and can never be in communication. Nevertheless, the ego can learn, even though its maker can be misguided. He cannot, however, make the totally lifeless out of the life-given.

There are two ideas here that I want to think about. First Jesus tells us that we don’t want change. We think that peace lies in keeping the status quo. I know this is true because I see it in my own behavior. Change, no matter how much it might be helpful, causes anxiety. Our first experience with change, the separation, didn’t work out so well, so now we have a deep fear of change. This is the reason we have this big book and all these lessons. We are gently easing ourselves into a change that is beneficial. This change will bring us back to the changeless.

The second idea is that my self and God’s Self are in such profound opposition that there is no communication between them and never can be. The ego doesn’t know, but only perceives. God does not perceive, but only knows. The only thing I can use to imagine this is that they speak different languages and so cannot communicate with each other. That is not it, of course, because the difference is even more profound than that, but it helps me to imagine it.

At first that felt very scary to me, the thought that spirit and ego could never communicate, but then I realized that this is why we have the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was created for us so that we could return our mind to God when we were ready. It is through the Holy Spirit that we communicate with God. The Holy Spirit is our translator. He both perceives and knows, or to use my metaphor, He speaks both languages.

The way the Holy Spirit is helping is to teach the ego a new way of understanding, but this can only be done if I stop trying to protect my thought system and allow Him to change my mind. If I keep fighting change, I will prevent learning from occurring. This is why I use a very simple formula, based on the belief that I don’t know, and the Holy Spirit does know.

I begin with the premise that God Wills I be happy. His Will is peace, love and joy. There is only His Will and so if I seem to be experiencing something else, I must be experiencing something that does not exist. I know that the ego completely believes in what it shows itself through the body’s senses and so resists the idea that appearances are not to be trusted. But I go back to the simple thought that if it is not God’s Will it can’t be true no matter how real it seems to be. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my faulty thinking and I accept the Atonement. By keeping it simple, I am able to resist the ego tendency toward complexity, which leads to confusion.

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Study of the Text 6-10-13

3 The journey to the cross should be the last “useless journey.” Do not dwell upon it, but dismiss it as accomplished. If you can accept it as your own last useless journey, you are also free to join my resurrection. Until you do so your life is indeed wasted. It merely re-enacts the separation, the loss of power, the futile attempts of the ego at reparation, and finally the crucifixion of the body, or death. Such repetitions are endless until they are voluntarily given up. Do not make the pathetic error of “clinging to the old rugged cross.” The only message of the crucifixion is that you can overcome the cross. Until then you are free to crucify yourself as often as you choose. This is not the gospel I intended to offer you. We have another journey to undertake, and if you will read these lessons carefully they will help prepare you to undertake it.

The useless journey, or the journey to the cross is death in its many forms. It is sickness, loss, lack, hatred, anger, fear, judgment, jealousy, and depression. Can you think of any other forms of suffering that you choose? All suffering is a form of death. Then, of course, there is the end of life, which represents the final death, or the final defense against God.

Jesus is telling me that this is done. He did this for me so I don’t have to do it anymore. He overcame death and in doing so it is done. All that is required of me is that I accept this gift and then it is done for me, too. His was meant to be the last useless journey, done for all of us and done for the last time. Instead, we have chosen sacrifice (a form of death). We have chosen to follow in his footsteps, endlessly reenacting the crucifixion while rejecting the resurrection which proved that death is not real and it proved that the ego/body/ cannot overcome God’s Will.

I say “we” because it is what we all do when we buy into sickness, suffering and death as inevitable parts of life. Here is what I have noticed in my own mind that finally convinced me that I have been embracing the useless journey rather than accepting the gift of Atonement. I have seen someone suffering and thought to pray for that person, and then wondered how I should pray.

They may be sick and I think I should pray for their healing. But then I wonder if it is my place to do this. What if their sickness is part of their lessons? Should I even pray for their body? Would that be reinforcing the idea they are a body and setting us both back on our journey? What if I pray for them and they don’t want to be healed? Should I overcome their own will to be sick with my will they be healed?

In my confusion I have once again chosen a form of death. I have chosen to suffer as I turn my back on my brother. I have chosen fear over love. What am I really saying as I hesitate to heal? Am I saying that sickness is the will of God? Am I saying that sickness in someone else is not my business, not my job to heal? Is there someone else? Or is their but one Son of God appearing as many?

The sick body I see, wherever I see it, is a symbol of death. It is a projection from a sick mind. When I see a sick body, I see a need for healing, and I pray for that healing. Because the cause of the projection is the sick mind, it is the mind that needs prayer. The body is a neutral thing that will reflect only what is in the mind, so it does not need my healing prayers. Once the mind is healed, it will reflect a healed body.

In a Course in Miracles we are told that if a person is not ready to accept their healing, the healing will stand back until it can be seen as gift. Healing will not impose itself on an unwilling mind. But the mind will inevitably accept the healing because the idea of a separate, personal will is as much an illusion as is the body. The Will of God will prevail because it already has. The healing will wait until the mind is healed of its fear enough so that it can accept what is already done. I need not fear that I will impose healing on someone.

I may believe that I pray for a sick body, or a financial ruin, or a shattered relationship, but always healing is of the mind that projected these beliefs. I reality, the prayer for healing is always the prayer that God’s Will be recognized as done. There is no form of suffering that reflects God’s Will. I will not hesitate to invoke healing for my brother or myself because I would not leave them or myself on the cross. That has been done for us. Let us not suffer any longer than necessary. Let us accept his gift and follow Jesus into resurrection and finally into ascension. That is the journey Jesus intends for us.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 6-8-13

2 You can speak from the spirit or from the ego, as you choose. If you speak from spirit you have chosen to “Be still and know that I am God.” These words are inspired because they reflect knowledge. If you speak from the ego you are disclaiming knowledge instead of affirming it, and are thus dis-spiriting yourself. Do not embark on useless journeys, because they are indeed in vain. The ego may desire them, but spirit cannot embark on them because it is forever unwilling to depart from its Foundation.

Yesterday I joined with others as I committed to allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal my innocence to me. I woke up with that commitment on my mind. I renewed it as I will all during the day. I renew it because there is still the temptation within my mind to take useless journeys. I saw this right away as I was dressing. I packed in a hurry and didn’t pay close attention to what I chose. I looked at the outfit chosen for today and wondered if the shirt and pants really looked good together. As I did so, I noticed that I felt slightly anxious about this.

Maybe on another day I would not have noticed the anxiety. I would have just shrugged my shoulders at the problem, because after all, what could I do about it? But today is different. Today I want to remove all blocks to seeing my innocence. I opened my mind to Holy Spirit, and I saw that concern about my fashion choices is really guilt. I am guilty for making, or possibly making, a bad decision about this outfit. I am guilty of not living up to the expectations of myself and others. I have failed as a fashion maven. ~smile~

Wow! And my day has just started! There is a twinge of fear in my mind as the ego objects to the whole project. “This is too much trouble,” it says. “This doesn’t even matter. “What will happen when I look at the “big” stuff,” it asks. The ego warns that I will wear myself out doing this. It warns that I won’t feel innocent if I look at all this, and in fact, I will just feel guiltier than ever. My response is that I am happy to be graced with the clarity to see the blocks to my awareness of Love’s presence, and I am deeply grateful to know that the illusion of guilt is easily undone with the Holy Spirit’s help.

I see in my mind, two altars. One of the altars is a shabby affair that sits in the shadows. This is the ego’s altar. When I worship at this altar I come away with more doubt and uncertainty than I brought to it. If I bring my concerns about my clothing choices to this altar, I will receive its “gifts” of guilt, fear, unworthiness and anger. All day I will look through the filter of those beliefs and I will see attack everywhere I look. I will project my beliefs onto my innocent brothers and in my mind they will be transformed into enemies who are judging me. I could only look forward to an exhausting day of defense and attack.

I have another altar though. This altar sits in the light and radiates love. It is a soft and steady light that never wavers. The ego tries to dissuade me from that altar. It warns that I am unworthy of the light and my guilt will be exposed if I approach it. But when I turn from the dark altar and instead place my fears and guilt in that brilliant light they vanish. My burden is relieved and I am left feeling light and happy. This is a gift I carry with me throughout the day and that will be shared with my brothers.

There may be many opportunities this day to choose the path I want to journey, to choose the altar at which I will worship. I pray for grace to see clearly the choice being offered me. I pray for strength to not weaken in my commitment. I pray for help if I am uncertain and clarity if I am confused. I will do my part as I choose to take no more useless journeys, and I am willing to do it with ease and with joy. To that objective, Jesus reminds me that I am responsible for what I see, but never guilty for it.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 6-6-13

I am at a workshop with Nouk Sanchez. I don’t know if I will have time to write so don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me. Today I just want to report on something I am doing with Holy Spirit.

I asked him to show me the blocks to my accepting a miracle of mind healing when it comes to body image and food. This is what he gave me.

Self will. I have a belief that I should control my eating and if I don’t, I should receive the consequences of my actions. The mind that wants to claim a disciplined mind and a strong will isn’t interested in surrender. It wants to win. It will accept loss if that is the only other option, but not surrender.

Self judgment= failure=shame

Fear of failure. I tell myself this is a little thing and if I can’t do this, then maybe I can’t do anything.

I keep making this issue different. All problems are the same problem, but in my mind I still have a hierarchy of illusions and I put this one in the slightly embarrassing and not really important pile. Why embarrassing, Holy Spirit? A couple of reasons: Its not very spiritual. Wouldn’t it be more spiritual to not care what my body looks like? I think this is similar to thinking its more spiritual to heal the mind of the belief in sickness but less spiritual to see that healing in the body. Maybe the same error as that.

Also, it is such a visible problem. I see it every time I look in the mirror and everyone else sees it too. I judge myself so I project that feeling of being judged and think everyone else is judging me too. If I say that I am too friggin spiritual to waste time worrying about my body I won’t have to be concerned about looking like a spiritual failure when I gain weight. Not to others and not to myself. Better to be afraid of failure than to admit failure.

Habit. the idea that food causes effects in the body is such and ingrained idea that it requires nearly constant vigilance to notice these thoughts and ask that they be healed. I’m used to vigilance, but I notice having to do this so often triggers my fear of failure. What if I can’t do this? What if I am wrong? What if the truth is not true?

The authority problem. The whole idea behind the separation idea was to make a self that is unique and different than what God made, to be my own creator or author. We can’t really create outside God, but we can make an image of ourselves that is different than what God created. Evidently part of that image of Myron is that she is one who gains weight easily, one who has to watch every calorie, one who can easily lose but will quickly regain, one who is victim to a screwy metabolism, etc.

The Holy Spirit gave me the blocks to be healed, and now I know that they are all defenses against God. I am willing to let them be healed and accept the Atonement in this situation. My mind and heart are open. Thank you, God. I love you, God.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 4-5-13

Chapter 4: THE ILLUSIONS OF THE EGO
________________________________________
Introduction
1 The Bible says that you should go with a brother twice as far as he asks. It certainly does not suggest that you set him back on his journey. Devotion to a brother cannot set you back either. It can lead only to mutual progress. The result of genuine devotion is inspiration, a word which properly understood is the opposite of fatigue. To be fatigued is to be dis-spirited, but to be inspired is to be in the spirit. To be egocentric is to be dis-spirited, but to be Self-centered in the right sense is to be inspired or in spirit. The truly inspired are enlightened and cannot abide in darkness.

I wrote an article for Miracle News on not setting my brother back on his journey. I could write one every day, because it is easy to do this if I am not vigilant for my thoughts and words. I am staying at a hotel in New Orleans and it is not in the best part of town. When I got here last night around 10:00, there were young men loitering around the front of the hotel.

When I walked in the lobby there was a young woman working the front desk. I had the urge to ask her if she was not worried about working in this area so late at night. By grace, I kept my thought to myself, and instead asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I thanked Him for helping me to refrain from spreading the ego disease of fear.

When I thoughtlessly said something to my daughter that triggered feelings of shame in her, I apologized. I felt really bad and wanted to wipe those words away. I felt guilty for my careless words and this triggered a lot of other parental guilt. I wanted to do more, to say more, to somehow ease my guilt through gaining her absolution. Once again, through grace I held my tongue. I was acting from guilt and guilt is not something I want to teach. Teaching my daughter guilt would set her back on her journey.

I cannot set someone back on their journey unless they are uncertain in their own mind, but then, who among us is completely free of fear and guilt? Jesus refers to the ego mind as sick, and I refer to fear and guilt as the disease that causes this sickness. We are careful to cover our mouth when we sneeze so as not to spread germs. I am learning to close my mouth when I feel fear or guilt coming on so as not to spread that disease. And always, when I notice these beliefs in my mind, I ask for the Atonement and gratefully accept it.

When I forget and speak my fear or guilt, I am dis-spirited. Even if I don’t speak it aloud, a thought that has gone unhealed supports the ego thought system, and so it is spread throughout the Sonship. This, too, is dis-spiriting. On the other hand, if I am being vigilant and notice the thought, in asking for healing I am uplifted and inspired because my mind is Self-centered. I feel dispirited when I am egocentric in my thinking and uplifted when I am Self-centered because the former goes against my nature, and the latter is natural to me.

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Study of the Text 6-4-13

6-4-13
6 The branch that bears no fruit will be cut off and will wither away. Be glad! The light will shine from the true Foundation of life, and your own thought system will stand corrected. It cannot stand otherwise. You who fear salvation are choosing death. Life and death, light and darkness, knowledge and perception, are irreconcilable. To believe that they can be reconciled is to believe that God and His Son can not. Only the oneness of knowledge is free of conflict. Your kingdom is not of this world because it was given you from beyond this world. Only in this world is the idea of an authority problem meaningful. The world is not left by death but by truth, and truth can be known by all those for whom the Kingdom was created, and for whom it waits.

I absolutely believe every word in the Course. Either it is all true or none of it is to be trusted. When I first read this, and other passages like it, I believed that the world is not real and that I will eventually forgive it and return to God. I believed it, but my understanding was uncertain. My mind made exceptions to what I understood, and simply would not understand all Jesus was telling me. And while I had no doubt that I would wake up, I could not envision that happening anytime soon. Of course, now I understand that all of this doubt was just a delaying tactic. It was my defense against God.

I am not feigning ignorance anymore. At least, I am not doing so as much as I used to. Now when it seems confusing to me, or when I can’t seem to let go, I am fully aware that it is by design, even if I don’t understand my own reluctance. I would swear to you that all I want is to wake up, and yet, here I am feeling frustrated that I am fighting for the right to be miserable, just so I can keep the story going a little longer. I don’t understand myself.

I am awake enough, though, to know that this is possible and is not that far away. I am awake enough that no matter what the circumstances show me, I know they are not true, but not awake enough to disregard them in every case. I still get afraid, feel guilty and get angry. The difference is that I watch myself do this and know its crazy. I know to ask for the Atonement and I accept it to the degree I am able. I never, ever believe my anger, fear and guilt are justified. No matter how upset I may be I never stop listening to the Holy Spirit.

I used to have doubts and uncertainties, but now it is more like confusion. I have been working on food and body issues, and it is really kicking my butt. It seems that I have some very fixed ideas about food and the body. I am having trouble letting those go. I don’t doubt I am wrong and I don’t doubt that I will succeed, but I get confused about how I am to see this, and I also notice that I am quick to feel guilty when I don’t succeed. Of course this means I am judging the situation and judging myself. So I know I still believe in guilt and I still cling to judgment.

Most of the time I am very happy to see what needs to be healed so that I can ask for the Atonement in that situation, but then at times, I make myself guilty instead. I catch it and forgive myself, but sometimes it takes awhile. I also know that the confusion is not really because this is so complicated, but because I don’t want to accept it and that is really frustrating. I feel like I am at war with myself.

Part of this correction the Holy Spirit is helping me with is realizing that the body is not “out there” but in my mind, and therefore anything that happens is only happening in my mind. The emphasis here is on “only.” In no case is my body affected by something I put into it or do for it. That is just the way that I project my beliefs onto the body, the story I use to make it feel real to me.

I have been applying this to pain, sickness, medicine, and most recently weight gain. One of the medicines I stopped taking was my Cenestin, which is used for hormone replacement, and at first everything was fine. Then I started having some symptoms such as trouble sleeping and weight gain. 

A couple of days ago, I got myself into a state over whether I should start taking it again or not. I could not decide and I noticed I felt guilty at the thought of taking it again, and I felt afraid that I would be going backward, that stopping the pill was forward motion and starting it again would keep me from waking up. It sounds silly as I put it into words but, really, in retrospect I see that is the meaning I was giving it.

When I saw the guilt and fear I knew I was doing something wrong. I was confused about the whole thing and so I sat with Jesus and asked him to help me. I surrendered. I stopped trying to figure it out myself and asked what I should do. This is the message I got.

Jesus: Myron, stop scaring yourself. It does not matter if you take the pill or not. It doesn’t matter if you go back to dieting. You are innocent regardless of any decision you make. Your immortal soul is not in danger. It does not matter what you eat or what magic you use. Just do this: When you diet, remind yourself that nothing that goes into the mouth of the body has any affect on it. It is only your mind that can affect the body.

Every time you take your pill, remind yourself that this pill only does what you want it to do. It has no power outside your mind. It does what you believe it will do, and nothing else. You could just as easily say what you want and have it occur without these “helpers.” Go on the diet and take the pill. Then ask for healing of the mind that believes it is guilty for believing it needs the diet and the pill. Forgive yourself for wanting to be thinner, and forgive yourself for caring how your body looks.

You have become confused because you started believing that you need to change your own mind. Instead, go back to noticing, without guilt, without concern of any kind, what the ego mind wants. Notice the guilt and the fear when it arises. When you notice these things, ask the Holy Spirit to heal your mind, and accept His healing.

That is all that is required of you. You have done this many times and you know that it is effective. You also know that it is the only thing you have ever done that has worked for you. There is no hierarchy of illusions and you are not guiltier for your imagined sin of dieting and taking medicine, no more than you are for anything you do.

As soon as I heard this message, my mind cleared and what Jesus said became obvious to me. I don’t know why I forgot that, and why I thought this one thing should be different from any of the other healings I have experienced. I went back to the process knowing that I did not have to stop myself from doing anything, and that as I allowed my mind to be healed, whatever needed to be done in the world, would be done. It would not be an effort or a struggle, because I would want it.

It is only when my mind is conflicted that fear and guilt arise and it is only when I am conflicted in what I want that I become confused. What happened after I stopped trying to heal myself, and listened to his words is that I became very calm and peaceful. That is the miracle. I did nothing to make myself peaceful except to ask for healing. The peace was just there.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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