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Study of the Text 8-27-13

8-27-13
VI. The Rewards of God
2 In learning to escape from illusions, your debt to your brother is something you must never forget. It is the same debt that you owe to me. Whenever you act egotistically towards another, you are throwing away the graciousness of your indebtedness and the holy perception it would produce. The term “holy” can be used here because, as you learn how much you are indebted to the whole Sonship, which includes me, you come as close to knowledge as perception can. The gap is then so small that knowledge can easily flow across it and obliterate it forever.

I gave a workshop this past weekend. A group of people sat all day long and for two hours the next morning and listened while I taught myself. Between teachings they shared with me and with each other their lessons, the ones they learned and the ones they are still trying to accept. I know my debt to these brothers and sisters, and I am so grateful to them.

It is easy for me to see myself indebted to my brothers when I think of this weekend, but sometimes I forget my debt when the circumstances are less pleasant. When someone seems to be attacking me, when someone’s problem triggers my own stuff, when someone seems to be placing demands on me; in these kinds of situations, I tend to forget my indebtedness to my brother. Instead, it seems as if my brother is now my enemy.

And yet, these moments of frustration, anger, or fear, these moments when the person in my awareness seems to bring up all the ugly stuff I normally keep buried, these moments are my way home. And these brothers are giving me exactly what I need to take the next step in that direction. When this happens I have a choice. I can accept the ego interpretation of the situation and defend myself against attack. Or I can accept the Holy Spirit’s interpretation and realize that my dear brothers are presenting me with a chance to heal my mind.

The next time I feel attacked, instead of defending myself from my brothers I can ask that I be shown another way to see this. As my perception is healed, the one I only a moment ago felt resentment for, now feels like my friend, my helper. Our hands are (metaphorically) clasped as we help each other undo the ego through our forgiveness.

Holy Spirit, I felt like I was in rarified company this weekend, and today as I prepare to go to work I feel a bit of dread. It feels like I am arming myself for battle. I see that I have been looking at my brothers as enemies to be overcome. I have seen them as competitors and even the ones I like and depend on, I see as potentially disappointing. It seems I can’t tell a friend from an enemy as they switch places depending on how I perceive them in any moment. Please heal my mind.

Holy Spirit: Thank you for asking for my help. This weekend you saw your brothers as your helpers and you were grateful to them. Now you can see the contrast between how that feels and how it often feels when you see the people in your life as enemies instead of friends.

Me: I do. I am really surprised that I do this so much. I would have thought that it was rare for me to see others as enemies, but with Your help I can see what is really happening. I was thinking of going to work and felt anxious about it. I have a report due and I should have done it before I left; now I will have to go into the office and face my boss. Normally, I think of her as a friend and ally and now I think of her as someone I must defend against. I now see that I do this a lot. How do you want me to see this, Holy Spirit?

Holy Spirit: This boss of yours is no different than the people this weekend who gave you the opportunity to join for the purpose of awakening. The reason you think it is different is because you have given today’s circumstances a different meaning. But you have also chosen to look at what you have done and accept healing. This weekend you talked about healing the mind. Today you practice healing the mind. Every person who is involved in these two moments is your mighty companions. They are equal in their value to you and you are equally in debt to them for this opportunity.

Me: I see that! Thank you! Thank you for correcting my perception. I feel gratitude and happiness as I realize that every one I meet today is my helper regardless of what seems to be happening. No wonder I often experience a vague sense of anxiety. I have failed to see my brothers as my helpers and so have not recognized my indebtedness to them. Instead of seeing my boss as someone to defend against, I am going to see her as the one who may offer me an opportunity to forgive. I owe her a debt of gratitude either way.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text 8-23-13

VI. The Rewards of God
8-23-13
1 The ego does not recognize the real source of “threat,” and if you associate yourself with the ego, you do not understand the situation as it is. Only your allegiance to it gives the ego any power over you. I have spoken of the ego as if it were a separate thing, acting on its own. This was necessary to persuade you that you cannot dismiss it lightly, and must realize how much of your thinking is ego-directed. We cannot safely let it go at that, however, or you will regard yourself as necessarily conflicted as long as you are here, or as long as you believe that you are here. The ego is nothing more than a part of your belief about yourself. Your other life has continued without interruption, and has been and always will be totally unaffected by your attempts to dissociate it.

It was necessary for me to know about the ego, to recognize it and understand it. Jesus will continue to coach me about the ego. I must see the ego and choose against it if I am to wake up and return to God. My part is so small, but it is absolutely essential. I must look with the Holy Spirit, and I must choose, unequivocally, to let go what I see. The rest is done for me, but I must do my part. This is why I must learn to recognize the ego wherever I see it. And this is why I must learn that I don’t value what it has to offer me and so choose against it.

When I first started this it seemed very hard. I wasn’t sure what was ego and what was Spirit. I had convinced myself that ego provided protection and so it seemed my friend. Here is an example. When I was married my husband and I argued over how to discipline the children. I would try to see this with the Holy Spirit but I would become confused as the ego mind would warn me that I had to protect my children, that my husband was the enemy in this case. My fear was blinding me to the truth and the ego was offering to protect me from what I feared.

From where I stand now, after years of watching my mind and asking for clarity, I see how the ego worked in this situation. I know that there is no one guilty in that scenario, and if I see guilt I am looking with the ego. That is always true, and there is never a situation in which it is not true. The ego jumps up and down when I say this, even now. It warns that without my outrage and my protection my children would have been hurt.

Let me say that my husband was not physically abusive and on looking back on the situation he was probably sometimes right when I thought he was wrong. But he disciplined from a place of fear using guilt and shame and I thought that was completely wrong and potentially damaging. The interesting thing is that when I tried to stop that behavior I did so from a place of fear using guilt and shame.

It is always my job to heal my own mind. If I had been clearer I would have done that. I would have ignored the ego and focused on healing my mind. Then from a place of love I could have been a positive influence for everyone. I can still get lost in the ego story and become momentarily confused, but less so now because the Course has helped me to recognize the ego when I see it.

Now that I have a clear understanding of how the ego works and how to recognize it, and now that I know I don’t want the ego’s “help,” I am ready to understand what ego really is. Jesus says that the ego is nothing more than a part of my belief about myself. The ego is not a thing, or a being, and has no reality nor power outside of my belief in it. It is just something I believe about myself. Because it is just a belief system, I can dismantle it easily by choosing against it.

This is why I am vigilant for my thinking. I see signs of the ego thought system at work in my mind, and I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking. I no longer value that belief and don’t want to be influenced by it, so I want it gone. The reason I need help is that I believe in it. Though I hide the memory from myself, I made it and I believe in it, so I can’t teach myself not to believe in it.

Try and teach yourself that blue is not blue, that it is not really a color. You can tell yourself over and over that it is not really blue, but you believe it is and reason keeps bring you back to what you believe. That’s the problem with the ego. We can try to reason our way out of this and we can really want to, but we can’t. It is a closed system, and we need something from outside that system to help us.

The Holy Spirit is our help. The Holy Spirit understands our belief in the ego, and even understands our confusion as we identify with it and think we are the ego. But He also knows that the ego is not real, that it is an untrue thought system, and so while He understands it He doesn’t believe in it. This is why He can heal our minds, and thus free of us from our delusions.

The ego includes our bodies, our life, and all the world we see. It is all an illusion. We are not living, but dreaming we live within this illusion. But outside the ego illusion our life continues as if we were not dreaming. We have a real life! And we can become aware of that life as we move our awareness from this dream. We do this when we see the ego thinking and choose against it by allowing the Holy Spirit to choose for God for us. Does your heart sing just a little as you think of your real life? That is your mind waking up!

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text 8-22-13

V. The Ego-Body Illusion
8-22-13
6 The ego thinks it is an advantage not to commit itself to anything that is eternal, because the eternal must come from God. Eternalness is the one function the ego has tried to develop, but has systematically failed to achieve. The ego compromises with the issue of the eternal, just as it does with all issues touching on the real question in any way. By becoming involved with tangential issues, it hopes to hide the real question and keep it out of mind. The ego’s characteristic busyness with nonessentials is for precisely that purpose. Preoccupations with problems set up to be incapable of solution are favorite ego devices for impeding learning progress. In all these diversionary tactics, however, the one question that is never asked by those who pursue them is, “What for?” This is the question that you must learn to ask in connection with everything. What is the purpose? Whatever it is, it will direct your efforts automatically. When you make a decision of purpose, then, you have made a decision about your future effort; a decision that will remain in effect unless you change your mind.

I was thinking about this. Does the ego avoid the subject of the eternal? I guess it must. I can’t think how to be ego and still be eternal. Ego always ends my story with death. Rather than looking at this question it keeps me busy with other things. It gives me problems with no solutions so that I will never get to what really matters, or notice the ego fails to answer the question of eternalness.

The body will not last, but the ego keeps us distracted with making the body seem young for as long as possible. We invent wrinkle creams and hair dyes. Our doctors open anti-aging clinics and weight loss clinics. We create newer and better supplements meant to stop the aging process. And I can assure you, some scientist somewhere is right now trying to figure out how to keep the body going forever.

In a desperate bid for preserving the body for eternity we invented cryogenics and are working on cryonics in the hope of freezing bodies. The idea put forth is that if the body succumbs to an incurable disease, just freeze it until science finds a solution. This is so funny because we are actually already immortal. It is only the ego body that dies. But the ego distracts us from noticing that it is unable to make even its home eternal, by keeping us busy trying to achieve the impossible, making it seem that it is just a matter of time till this is done.

I want to stop this cycle of wasting time trying to answer impossible questions, and turn my mind to the real solution. Jesus says the question I need to ask to get out of this confused state is, “What is it for?” If I spend time and money trying to preserve a youthful body, then I can ask, “What for?” What is the purpose?

Why would I be interested in making the ego’s home last longer? What is the purpose in doing this? I am searching my mind for a good reason and can’t come up with one. I want to feel good and have energy while I use this body. The Course tells me the way to do this is to let go of judgment and grievances and to use the body only for communication. If I do that I will have a healthy serviceable body for as long as I need it.

So really, what I want to do is to become clear on my purpose for the body. Am I trying to keep it youthful to impress people, to attract people? This would make it a separation device, not a tool for awakening. If I want to use it as a tool for awakening, then I know how to do that and it doesn’t require any help from science or doctors. “What is it for?” That is a good question to cut through the ego subterfuge.

I am going to expend a certain amount of time, money and effort on the body on my way to enlightenment. I am going to wear makeup and get my hair done and buy flattering and pretty clothes. But I know what I am doing and as long as I am doing it I am going to enjoy it. This means I am going to do it in a sense of fun and without guilt.

At the same time, I have asked that question. I know what the body is for, and I know the way to achieve a strong, healthy and energetic body. I am learning how to actually accomplish that. I am watching my mind for ways I use the body for separation rather than for communication and I am giving my willingness to be healed.

I am not wasting my time trying to achieve immortality for the body, which is impossible, but I am learning to use the body to remember that I am already immortal. Asking what it is for, I have already learned that it has no intrinsic value in itself; its only value to me is to use it to help us all wake up. And when I no longer need the body I will just set it aside because it will no longer be of use.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text 8-20-13

V. The Ego-Body Illusion, Paragraph 4
8-20-13
4 The body is the ego’s home by its own election. It is the only identification with which the ego feels safe, since the body’s vulnerability is its own best argument that you cannot be of God. This is the belief that the ego sponsors eagerly. Yet the ego hates the body, because it cannot accept it as good enough to be its home. Here is where the mind becomes actually dazed. Being told by the ego that it is really part of the body and that the body is its protector, the mind is also told that the body cannot protect it. Therefore, the mind asks, “Where can I go for protection?” to which the ego replies, “Turn to me.” The mind, and not without cause, reminds the ego that it has itself insisted that it is identified with the body, so there is no point in turning to it for protection. The ego has no real answer to this because there is none, but it does have a typical solution. It obliterates the question from the mind’s awareness. Once out of awareness the question can and does produce uneasiness, but it cannot be answered because it cannot be asked.

I used to think that death was the answer to my crazy life, my ego confusion, my pain and suffering. I never examined this idea before; it was just in my mind. When I went to Nouk Sanchez’s retreat and heard her talk about death as simply another ego dream, I realized my error. I dream of life right now, and when I “die” I will dream of death for awhile, then I will pop back into the dream of life. Dreaming of death isn’t going to solve any problems for me, and that is so obvious to me that I feel like I must have been living in some kind of stupor before to have missed it.

Why did I think death would free me? I believe the answer to that is the body. Whether or not I was ready to question the body phenomena, I knew that this body was at the bottom of my unhappiness. It seemed reasonable that being out of the body would make things better. The reason I never thought this through is because the ego mind has shut off that line of inquiry in a bid for self-preservation.

I am going to look closely at the idea of the body right now. Here is what the ego offers me if I go along with its view of life. First I get a body to play in. At first this seems like a pretty nifty gift. My body is youthful and strong. I have vivid memories from my childhood of delighting in my body, at how good it felt to run really hard and fast, at what it felt like to lay in the sun and let it tan my skin.

There were many such experiences that I enjoyed and never guessed that they would be short lived. I experienced countless sensations through the body and more and more were added as I got older including some pretty intense feelings after I reach puberty. Sex, drugs and rock and roll seemed like such a good idea and I experienced them all in my body, never realizing there would be a price to pay.

But the ego gives only to take. This is because it is the polar opposite of God in all things, and God simply gives. So even in the glory days of my body I was beginning to experience loss. It was small at first, little blips in my joy at being young and exuberant. There were those times when the sun burned me, and there were hangovers from the alcohol and side effects from the drugs. There was sickness and pain. Still for a while, the good definitely outweighed the bad, but that ratio started to shift the older I became.

It didn’t take long for another benefit of the body to become apparent, though it would be a long time before I could put that into words and make sense of it. The body became the barrier that kept me in and others out. As life grew more complicated this became a favored gift of the ego. Sometimes even as a child I would feel attacked by playmates or adults and I would take my body and go home. I would withdraw from everyone and contract around myself.

It was like my body became the blanket I pulled over myself to hide from the world, to hide the world from me and me from the world. So the body became the way I expressed the idea of separation more fully, and it became the tool I used to cut off communication. This is, again, typical of ego thinking. God is whole and so ego offers fragmentation, the body being the best example of this. God is communion, and the ego offers the body as a way to avoid true communication as we learn to keep our thoughts private and share only the little bits of our self we feel safe sharing.

As I grew up I began to question the ego’s choice of homes. This body proved to be vulnerable to attack from enemies. Other people hurt it, bacteria and virus’ invaded it and made it sick. Age reduced it and distorted the youthful beauty, strength and stamina I had so enjoyed. I began to realize how fragile the body is and so much of my time, money and effort went into keeping it safe and trying to stave off the ravages of time.

Part of the package deal of getting a body is that I agree to move in completely. That is I think of the body as me. It is the ego’s chosen home and I have to buy into it if I want to play the game. So as all of this is happening, it feels like it is happening to me. I am weak and vulnerable. I am isolated within my body and my secret mind. I am fragile and in need of constant care and upkeep. I am losing the battle against time and I am becoming old and tired. I am also learning to regret taking the ego up on its deal.

Before I found A Course in Miracles, all this seemed perfectly normal and natural if fairly depressing. I didn’t question the idea of the body as being me. Of course it was me. And the little ego voice kept offering me fixes for all the problems I was encountering with its home of choice. It offered medicines and surgeries, miracle foods and supplements. Clever cuts, styles and colors for clothing to hide what it couldn’t offer a fix for. Hair coloring, make up, products to camouflage the outward signs of aging.

When I noticed that I felt alone in my body it offered clubs and other social outlets to give an illusion of being with others and a part of something. It offered an endless list of distractions. Nothing works. I get old and die. If it takes too long I lose all my friends on the way to death. So the ego offered me a body for a home, offered to protect me with this body, then when the body began to show signs of wear and tear offered me solutions to keep its home going.

None of this has been a good idea and it has not worked as promised. No wonder the ego hates its own home and wants to kill it. And no wonder the mind becomes dazed. There is no answer, and so the ego’s solution is to not question it. And so around and around we go, dreaming of life until the body wears out or is hurt beyond the ego’s fixes, and then we dream of death for awhile before dreaming of life again. It’s a never ending, awful cycle.

The ego paradigm is a closed cycle that cannot be looked at too closely because there is no answer within the cycle. The only solution must come from outside this cycle. Thank God that we have a failsafe, a secret door that takes us out of this depressing state of affairs. Our way out is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, at our request, slowly and gently guides us to undo what we have done. He knows how to break the contract we have with ego and needs only our consent to do so. I am giving my consent now because once exposed, the ego can no longer convince me that I am what I could never be, and that there is some value in continuing to pretend.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text 8-19-13

V. The Ego-Body Illusion
8-19-13
3 Any thought system that confuses God and the body must be insane. Yet this confusion is essential to the ego, which judges only in terms of threat or non-threat to itself. In one sense the ego’s fear of God is at least logical, since the idea of Him does dispel the ego. But fear of the body, with which the ego identifies so closely, makes no sense at all.

The idea of God dispels the ego and I made a choice this weekend to dispel the ego more quickly and more completely. I chose to shift the idea of God’s Will in my life to something more inclusive. For awhile now the idea that I want God’s Will has been playing around the periphery of my consciousness. I would consider doing something and then I would ask, “Is this God’s Will for me?” Sometimes I would even wait for an answer to form in my mind.

Saturday, I read an article by Nouk Sanchez in which she used this prayer:

I choose only God’s Will for me, from this moment onward. In so doing, I choose to forfeit my own independent will in every area of my life.

I knew immediately that this is the prayer I had been moving toward. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, my previous prayer was me asking me myself if I was ready to choose God’s Will. It was me preparing myself to make this choice.

Later that morning when I was studying a Pathways of Light course with two other people, I noticed a slip of paper on the table. It had the same prayer on it. One of the women I was studying with had been using this prayer and I had written it down for my own use, but then had seemingly forgotten about it. I don’t think I really forgot about it. I think I was not quite ready for this total commitment. Now I am.

I see the Holy Spirit’s gentle hand in this. He guides me a step at a time so that in each instance of change I am ready for it. I recognize some resistance to the idea of forfeiting my independent will in every instance. I also realize how nonsensical this is. To be afraid of God’s Will is to believe that He wants me to suffer, that His Will might be something bad for me.

The fear of God is the last obstacle to peace and I choose to overcome that obstacle now. Just as I have done many, many times I see the fear, the resistance, and I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. This is a mighty thing I do and I do it for the Sonship. This is no time for false humility. I step up and take my place as savior of the world.

Its funny really, because this all began with the thought a few months ago that I was tired of dieting, of worrying about what I eat and trying to figure out what was good for me and what wasn’t. It seems (to the ego) that saying this decision has led me to being the savior of the world is way over the top, and yet isn’t that our function? Lesson 206, says clearly that the salvation of the world depends on me. And what does it matter the story that leads us to that function? They are all just stories, some funny and some dramatic, but always just stories. One is as good as another if we use it as an opportunity for healing the mind.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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