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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 9. 5-13-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 9

9 Being the part of your mind that does not believe it is responsible for itself, and being without allegiance to God, the ego is incapable of trust. Projecting its insane belief that you have been treacherous to your Creator, it believes that your brothers, who are as incapable of this as you are, are out to take God from you. Whenever a brother attacks another, that is what he believes. Projection always sees your wishes in others. If you choose to separate yourself from God, that is what you will think others are doing to you.

The ego does not think it is responsible for itself so it is always looking for someone to blame. I am vigilant for blame thoughts knowing that this is ego. When I notice them I ask that my mind be healed of the idea that someone else is responsible for my life. This is the way the ego is undone. I choose against it.

The ego has no allegiance to God and so is incapable of trust. I notice when I feel uncertain and doubtful, and I know I must be giving the ego my allegiance. I make a different choice, the only one that makes sense. I choose to place my allegiance in God and to trust Him. This is another way that I undo the ego.

The ego is the idea that I have been treacherous to God. This is insane, but believing it has effects that keep me embroiled in guilt and fear. I cannot be treacherous to God because that would imply God could be hurt, and that God could be offended. God does not have an ego to be offended and God cannot be hurt or diminished by my choices. When I feel guilt or fear I know I am identifying with ego and I choose again. This is the way to undo the ego.

When I am identified with ego, I do believe in treachery and so I believe my brothers are as capable of treachery as I am. This makes them seem dangerous to me. Because I project blame on them, I suspect they are doing the same thing to me. It is like they are pointing their finger at me and saying, “Look, God, I am innocent. She is the guilty one.” This is how I see them as taking God from me.

The ego says I must defend myself by finding more fault in them than they find in me. But the solution is to notice what is happening when I project onto others and let the belief in guilt be undone in my own mind. When I do that, I will see the belief in guilt being expressed by my brother and instead of feeling threatened I will simply see a call for love and ask that this belief be healed in our mind. This is the way the ego is undone in our mind.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 8. 5-12-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 8

8 Attack could never promote attack unless you perceived it as a means of depriving you of something you want. Yet you cannot lose anything unless you do not value it, and therefore do not want it. This makes you feel deprived of it, and by projecting your own rejection you then believe that others are taking it from you. You must be fearful if you believe that your brother is attacking you to tear the Kingdom of Heaven from you. This is the ultimate basis for all the ego’s projection.

I want to follow this logic with something that is happening right now. Seeing something in a concrete way helps me to understand the general principle, which of course, is the only value the world has for me. It shows me what my beliefs look like so I can decide if I want to believe them anymore. In time this is the way the mind works, even though our minds are actually abstract as is God.

Looking at the situation with the co-worker I spoke of last week, he seemed to be attacking me when he failed to do the work correctly and resisted any direction from me. The attack took the form of threatening my income and this brought up fear in me. I would not have phrased it like this, but I guess that I have been seeing my income as my salvation.

If Heaven is my goal and I think that my income is my salvation then I am confused about what I need to be safe, and am confusing financial stability with Heaven. So when this man threatened my finances he seemed to be taking Heaven from me. This would certainly explain why I felt justified in defending myself through attacking him in return.

Once I understood the reasoning behind the belief I was being attacked and the reason I wanted to defend myself, I could understand his motivations, too. I think he must see being right as his salvation, and so of course he would resent my “help” when offered. It must look to him like I am snatching away what matters deeply to him, that I am robbing him of his happiness by telling him he is wrong and needs my help.

I am very grateful that I had A Course in Miracles to help me recognize my error and the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Friday when I got to work I was very calm about the whole thing. I had allowed my mind to be healed of the idea that he was my enemy so when my supervisor expressed her frustration about the situation I was able to step back from it.

I noticed the ego wanting to join her anger, but I, by this time I knew he was not my enemy. Today I further realize from reading this paragraph that no matter what this man does he cannot deprive me of anything unless I decide I don’t want it. This means I cannot lose my money, or my job, because of anything except my own decision. And nothing can tear God from me, certainly not my brother.

Since I was calm and settled about the whole thing by the time I got to work, I didn’t say anything to him about it, but he came to me and explained his error and took full responsibility for it. He also told me he researched the information to understand where he went wrong. I loved that I didn’t have even the slightest desire to be sure he knew I told him so. ~smile~

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 7. 5-9-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 7

7 One child of God is the only teacher sufficiently worthy to teach another. One Teacher is in all minds and He teaches the same lesson to all. He always teaches you the inestimable worth of every Son of God, teaching it with infinite patience born of the infinite Love for which He speaks. Every attack is a call for His patience, since His patience can translate attack into blessing. Those who attack do not know they are blessed. They attack because they believe they are deprived. Give, therefore, of your abundance, and teach your brothers theirs. Do not share their illusions of scarcity, or you will perceive yourself as lacking.

If my brother attacks because he feels deprived, then it must be that I defend myself because I feel vulnerable. This is a cycle that I am ready to break. It is unworthy of God’s Son. It keeps me in hell when I could be in the Kingdom. Jesus shows us the simple way to end this sad state of affairs.

When my brother attacks me I have a choice about how I respond. The choice I make depends on my vision of myself. The Holy Spirit will correct my thinking and clear my vision if I ask Him to. Here is an example of how this is working for me right now. A person at work has persistently caused me problems because he won’t listen. He thinks he already knows and so he ignores what he is told.

My first response to his latest error was anger and frustration. I cannot get him to listen to me and his own judgment is flawed. I am the one who suffers for his errors and so I resented him and wanted him to change. He seemed to be the problem and I don’t have influence over him and so there seemed to be no solution.

I want to wake up. I want to wake up more than I want to solve this problem. I know that waking up depends on forgiveness, so I want to forgive him, the situation, and myself. I want to accept the Atonement in this situation because that is the only thing that will bring me closer to God. My way of handling it in the past has only brought me more deeply into the ego illusion. I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind.

In healing my mind He showed me a picture of two children. The little boy wants to win the game. He wants to be the hero and in his mind the hero makes all the decisions himself and they are right decisions. It’s hard to be the hero because he doesn’t have all the tools yet to make those decisions, but it is really important to him that he does so. He needs to appear the hero so he stubbornly persists in doing whatever he needs to so that he maintains this image of himself.

The little girl has an end goal in mind for her game. She has decided what needs to be done to win and since she has played this game often, she is certain she knows the steps to take to win. Winning is important to her because losing would be scary. She sees losing the game as losing everything she values. So when the little boy takes chances with the game and stubbornly fights against her plan, her fear turns into rage.

Seeing us as frightened and stubborn children helped me to diffuse the situation. There are things that must be done, and one of those things is to convince this fellow to do his job differently. I don’t know how to do this or even if I should step into it. Maybe it will be done by someone else in the work place. But, what I feel now is different than it was before.

I feel more understanding and compassionate to both players, both myself and this co-worker. I have invited Holy Spirit into the situation and I trust that He will direct it, so I am not afraid anymore. This opens me to love, which feels more natural. I am reminded that everyone is innocent. I am reminded that my purpose is forgiveness. My only function is to accept the Atonement for myself. I know what I am supposed to be doing and I do it. I am at peace about the whole thing.

I wonder how the story will unfold now.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 6. 5-8-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 6
6 Only honor is a fitting gift for those whom God Himself created worthy of honor, and whom He honors. Give them the appreciation God accords them always, because they are His beloved Sons in whom He is well pleased. You cannot be apart from them because you are not apart from Him. Rest in His Love and protect your rest by loving. But love everything He created, of which you are a part, or you cannot learn of His peace and accept His gift for yourself and as yourself. You cannot know your own perfection until you have honored all those who were created like you.

I don’t know why it took me so long to understand that I am one with everyone, that we are worthy and that God loves us without exception and unconditionally. It should be evident since this is what the Course is teaching us. But we won’t know this other than as a concept unless we honor each other and love each other in the same way that God does. This means that our love must be universal.

Universal love flows to everyone equally, blessing none less than another. There must be no boundaries. My love cannot stop at one body, and skip over another. It must have no conditions, no secret bargains in which love is given in the hopes that in return the other will fill some perceived need. I must love all without exception if I am to know myself as love.

This is some pretty lofty stuff. How do we do this? My path has been one of noticing when I do the opposite and recognizing that it is not making me happy, and not waking me up. Then I ask the Holy Spirit to heal me. I ask for the Atonement, I accept the Atonement, I receive the Atonement. Love then flows to and through me on its own without my further assistance.

I want to know who I am. I want to know myself as perfect love. So I continue to love as perfectly as I can and I give my willingness to be taught how to love more perfectly.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 5. 5-7-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 5
5 The gift of life is yours to give, because it was given you. You are unaware of your gift because you do not give it. You cannot make nothing live, since nothing cannot be enlivened. Therefore, you are not extending the gift you both have and are, and so you do not know your being. All confusion comes from not extending life, because that is not the Will of your Creator. You can do nothing apart from Him, and you do do nothing apart from Him. Keep His way to remember yourself, and teach His way lest you forget yourself. Give only honor to the Sons of the living God, and count yourself among them gladly.

Whatever is not of God is not life. This thing I call my life is nothing because it is unlike God in every way, and so, though I made it, I cannot enliven it. This is why I am not joyful and at peace. It is why I live with a sense of loss and why I believe I can suffer and die. In my deepest heart I know that I am not what I seem, and I feel that lack. I feel like something is wrong, even though I have done all this to hide that fact from myself. To enliven is my true will because it is God’s Will and not to extend life is painful.

How do I amend this error? First I recognize that I am not actually creating anything at all. I am only pretending to create. Next, I recognize that what I call creativity is just a shadow of what I do when I acknowledge my true nature. The world with its bodies and its wonders seem amazing to me, so amazing I can hardly believe I have anything to do with it, and yet, it is nothing. I did, indeed, with my brothers make this world, and yet, it pales into nothingness when seen next to my true creations. And since it was made outside creation it is nothing.

All of the depression, rage, suffering and death that we know as our lives is the result of not allowing the memory of our Selves to surface in our minds. We miss who we are. We long to be with our Creator and our creations. We long to enliven as God enlivens because it is our nature. We seem to rage against the world but we are really raging against our self-imposed limitations because they are not natural to us.

When I read in the Course that I am among the Sons of the living God, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. These tears are partly because I am so happy to be reminded, but they are also tears of frustration and grief because I don’t remember what that is like. I am told the way to remember, though, and in remembering I will naturally turn away from the illusion.

Jesus says this: “Give only honor to the Sons of the living God, and count yourself among them gladly.” I will remember to honor my brothers for what they are today, because this is how I return myself to reality and know myself as the Son of the living God. I look forward to the many opportunities to honor each of us.

“Holy Spirit, please help me to remember this when I am tempted to judge, and when I let my mind wander to illusions. When I look at a brother and see only a body I don’t know and don’t care about, help me remember who it is that stands before me, so that I might honor this Son of the living God. When I am tempted to see my transgressions in time as if they could change me in defiance of my Creator, help me to surrender to the Truth, to my holy Self as defined by God.”

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 4. 5-6-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 4

4 Illusions are investments. They will last as long as you value them. Values are relative, but they are powerful because they are mental judgments. The only way to dispel illusions is to withdraw all investment from them, and they will have no life for you because you will have put them out of your mind. While you include them in it, you are giving life to them. Except there is nothing there to receive your gift.

Jesus, I think I understand this, but it would help if you could clarify it for me. I do notice that you said mental judgments are powerful and I had never thought of that. I tend to think of judgment in terms of something I shouldn’t be doing, but I had not thought of them as powerful. But I guess anything that keeps me in the illusion and that holds the illusion in place is powerful.

Jesus: Yes, your mental judgments are powerful even when you are using your ego mind. And when you turn from ego judgments and ask the Holy Spirit to judge for you, you are agreeing to join your self with your Self, and this is powerful beyond anything you experience with your separate small will.

As far as your investment in your illusions, you often hide that from yourself. You hide it behind the images that you call real. Think of your sister in law who you keep saying is dying. Why are you so invested in her body being sick and dying? Death is an illusion. Where have you invested your trust? Is it in the power of God, or is it in the illusion of death?

You hide that you are investing in death behind the illusion of a very sick body. In this way you can say that there is no hope for that body and you can make up stories about why it is better that she let it go, and there is a reason for death in this case, and that somehow either the illusion is stronger than the Will of God, or the Will of God is that suffering and death be real. I assure you neither is true, but as long as you continue to find value in the illusion of death, you keep it in place.

Me: Yes, at first I simply accepted the inevitability of her death. I followed the illusion blindly, not questioning its reality, and not even considering its value to me. Now when I think of Brinda, instead of imagining her death, I imagine that she and I join our will to the Will of God, which is always Life.

But now I have a different fear. What if she dies anyway (something the ego mind insists will happen) and then I will feel afraid because it will mean the truth is not true. It seems when I write this out, that I would rather sacrifice Brinda than prove to myself that the truth is not true. The alternate fear is that she will die anyway and I will have failed to believe enough and let her die in the wake of my weak will.

Jesus: The only thing you are letting die is your investment in the illusion of death. You do that for both yourself and for Brinda. You do it for the entire Sonship. You let it die when you stop feeding it with your fear. You do it when you release your false beliefs to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to heal your mind. You withdraw the value you have placed in this illusion when you ask for and accept the Atonement in this situation. 

It is easy for you to see the illusion as the problem and something to be fixed. I would ask that you look at your thoughts and beliefs and allow them to be fixed for you. I would ask you to give up this iron grip you have on the fear of death, and equally that death really is only an illusion.

You don’t realize it yet, but you fear both and they are the same fear. And the fear of death is the same as the fear that you cannot do this, and the fear that you will succeed. The fear of death is the same thing as the fear I am lying to you, and the fear that maybe this whole path is a lie. You are fiercely invested in the belief in death which encompasses all of those things.

Me: I see that this is true. All of those fear thoughts have been racing through my mind. It is hard to believe that I am afraid of success in this, but that I cling to all the fear thoughts must mean that I would rather look at death than to look at the possibility of its dissolution in my mind. Would I be willing to let go of the illusion of death completely and for all time? I cannot even imagine what that would mean, but could I? How about just this one time? Could I let go of my investment in Brinda’s death?

Jesus: You are doing this now. You have already begun to look away from the images of death, even though you will be tempted to look at the illusion and believe what you see must be true. Do not be concerned about that, and just remember that the illusion is an image of a false belief, not proof the false is true. When tempted to believe in the image, turn to me and give me your doubts and uncertainties. I know what to do with them.

Let this be your part; place your trust in Life rather than in death. You see how strong your trust is; now simply shift it from the illusion to the truth. This is very simple to do. Use the same practice that is familiar to you. When you notice that you are placing your belief in death, ask the Holy Spirit to correct your thinking. Accept and receive this correction. That is all I ask of you at this time. You have done this many times and you know you can do it now. Here is the reminder I would like you to use: “There is no death. There is only God.”

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 3. 5-5-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 3

3 You do not need God’s blessing because that you have forever, but you do need yours. The ego’s picture of you is deprived, unloving and vulnerable. You cannot love this. Yet you can very easily escape from this image by leaving it behind. You are not there and that is not you. Do not see this picture in anyone, or you have accepted it as you. All illusions about the Sonship are dispelled together as they were made together. Teach no one that he is what you would not want to be. Your brother is the mirror in which you see the image of yourself as long as perception lasts. And perception will last until the Sonship knows itself as whole. You made perception and it must last as long as you want it.

I have noticed that as I allow my mind to be healed, I tend to experience the effects of my beliefs more quickly and clearly. I think that this is because I am open to seeing this now, and I want to be healed so I am shown what needs healing, and I see it without delay. It seems to be all about the level of my willingness. I get what I want and to the degree I want it.

For the last couple of weeks I have experienced a lot of inner conflict. I have felt like I’ve been walking backwards on this path, and that I cannot seem to turn myself around. It has been very frustrating. I never go all the way back. In other words, I might be judgmental, but I never think that the judgment is justified. But after being mostly free of the desire to judge for awhile now, it feels depressing to pick that back up even though I know this is just some ego stuff coming back up so that I can master my desire to let go of judgment.

I have been asking Holy Spirit to help me see the source of this problem and this morning as I read our paragraph of the day, I realized that I have been judging someone in my life without realizing that I was doing so. I judge this person, and since judgment is not discreet, I judge others and I judge myself. Judgment is like a virus. It spreads quickly and indiscriminately.

I didn’t realize I was judging at first because it was not obvious. I seemed to be simply noticing something that was true about her. Then this morning Holy Spirit helped me to see that this could not be true about her because it is not true about God, so I was judging her as less than God, or something other than God. The effect of this judgment is that I began to see myself in this way. I see her has sick and I see myself as sick, because I cannot believe about myself what I am unwilling to believe about my sister.

Suddenly it is very clear to me that I have been judging my perception as true. My perception is just a way of seeing. Because my perception is projected as images into the world, I seem to be right. The proof seems to be right in front of my eyes and so my perception appears to prove itself to me. I have another option, though. Now that I remember that what I see represents a perception that I chose to believe, I could now ask for and receive a healed perception from Holy Spirit.

One of the blocks to my acceptance has been the ego thought that no matter how I choose to see this problem, it is unlikely to change. This morning, I see that my reasoning is faulty. My part in this is to remember the truth. I can do this whether I see a change in the images or not. What is not God is not true. This is all I need to remember.

Sickness, fear, anger, guilt, suffering, and death are not true and never will be regardless of appearances. I cannot make them true, but as long as I believe in them, my life will reflect them as if they are true. And if I believe these things about someone else, I will not be able to see myself free of them. 

I am ready to turn around now. The world will remain a reflection of faulty perception as long as I value that perception. And perception will last as long as I want perception. My job right this moment is to allow my perception to be healed. The next step of giving up perception all together will unfold in perfect timing according to our willingness. For today, I am willing to know the truth rather than to believe in the images of faulty perception. I feel lighter and freer already.

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