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Study of the Text 5-7-13

5-7-13
7 The statement “God created man in his own image and likeness” needs reinterpretation. “Image” can be understood as “thought,” and ‘likeness” as “of a like quality.” God did create spirit in His Own Thought and of a quality like to His Own. There is nothing else. Perception, on the other hand, is impossible without a belief in “more” and “less.” At every level it involves selectivity. Perception is a continual process of accepting and rejecting, organising and reorganising, shifting and changing. Evaluation is an essential part of perception, because judgments are necessary in order to select.

I remember the first time I read this I was very happy to have confirmed the belief I held that God is not a body, and “created in His own image” did not refer to our bodies. I also remember what a leap it was to go from the idea of God as like me (the body of Myron) to the thought that I must be like God, whatever that looks like. Even after I let go of the idea of God as body, I was resistant to the idea of letting go of God as separatist. I kept expecting God to be as judgmental as I am. I suppose that even though I am letting go of that idea, there must be some unconscious belief of God as Judge because I am still here hiding out in ego land, afraid to go Home.

God created me like Himself and creation continues in that way. God is a creator and therefore so am I. I continue to create as, and in the same manner, as God creates. This dream of separation does not qualify as creation because it is not as God creates. It is not an extension of God, and not an extension of my Self. Separation is not real, but is only a consideration of an impossible idea, because, as Jesus says, there is nothing else (but God). If Heaven has an opposite, surely the idea of separation is it, so I know it cannot be part of God.

“Perception is a continual process of accepting and rejecting, organising and reorganising, shifting and changing.” I can vaguely remember that when I first began to understand perception, I felt very resistant to letting this process go. I didn’t want to stop evaluating and judging, and I really loved the process of organizing and reaorganizing, accepting and rejecting. I valued my right to make choices. Now, just thinking about this makes me tired. I want to let this go. In time, however, perception is necessary. What I can do is allow my mind to be healed and my perceptions to be brought into alignment with the truth.

What I must remember in order for this to happen is that I must be vigilant for those times I still value the right to judge so that I can choose again. Also I must remember that I cannot make this change myself. I made perception and so I believe in it. It requires something outside of the belief system to make that change for me, and that is why the Holy Spirit is in my mind. He is the One Who does this for me when I am ready for the change. All I need to do is ask.

Now that I am watching for the judgments in my mind, and have begun the process of accepting the Atonement, I am noticing the more subtle ways I do this. Allowing the Holy Spirit to help me see the body as unreal has been a real eye opener for me in a lot of ways. I am really surprised to note that I don’t seem to want to give up the right to be in pain, to suffer, and apparently, to die. He has shown me that time is meaningless, that pain is optional, and that suffering is not necessary. And yet, I return to them over and over. In spite of that, I am not discouraged. Well, sometimes I get discouraged with myself, but overall, I am intrigued and anticipatory.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-6-13

5-6-13
6 Prayer is a way of asking for something. It is the medium of miracles. But the only meaningful prayer is for forgiveness, because those who have been forgiven have everything. Once forgiveness has been accepted, prayer in the usual sense becomes utterly meaningless. The prayer for forgiveness is nothing more than a request that you may be able to recognize what you already have. In electing perception instead of knowledge, you placed yourself in a position where you could resemble your Father only by perceiving miraculously. You have lost the knowledge that you yourself are a miracle of God. Creation is your Source and your only real function.

The Song of Prayer begins by telling us that prayer is the greatest gift with which God blessed His Son at his creation. It says about prayer:

It was then what it is to become; the single voice Creator and creation share; the song the Son sings to the Father, Who returns the thanks it offers Him, unto the Son.

Prayer, as given by God to His Son is a love song, one to the other, and we are assured it will be so again. But then Jesus goes on to say that for those of us still in time, prayer takes the form that best will suit our need. As he is saying here in this paragraph, our only real need is forgiveness.

Every time I see the word forgiveness my mind automatically translates it to “undo.” I forgive the world I think I see. I forgive my perceptions and my projections. I choose forgiveness and all I have done is undone and I will know what has always been true. I will know myself as my Father’s creation. I will know myself as like my Father. I will, finally, remember that I am a creator rather than a maker.

I am in the absurd position of not knowing who or what I am, and not knowing Who my Creator is because I chose to perceive rather than to know. Now it requires miraculous perception to see the truth. I pray for forgiveness. I pray for a miracle. I pray that my perceptions be healed and brought as close to the truth as is possible in the world of time.

In the story of Myron, this means that I continue to follow the Holy Spirit’s prompts and to forgive whatever is in my awareness. It seems that we must forgive from the bottom up. So I start with the misperception that is in my mind right now. Whatever this misperception might seem to be, it is just a symbol of the only misperception there is. It represents the desire to be separate. But it seems I cannot go straight to the desire to be separate, but must first look with the Holy Spirit at the effects of that desire and make a new decision. I must choose again, and this time, choose knowledge over truth.

Right now it seems that the Holy Spirit is helping me as I look at the perception that I am this body or in this body. He is helping me to see that the body is not real. I didn’t, at first, realize this is what was happening. For instance, I thought the body was in pain and I wanted the pain to stop. But He waited until I asked a real question. My prayer became, “Holy Spirit, what am I supposed to do with this pain?” Then He led me to Workbook Lesson 190 and He helped me, step by step, to forgive the idea that pain could ever be real.

I am still learning this lesson. Or maybe a better way to say this is that I sometimes accept this lesson and sometimes return to my old perception. But I never go all the way back. What I learn, I cannot unlearn, it seems. Then the Holy Spirit surprised me. One night as I was getting read for bed, I reached for my Ambien, which I perceived as a necessary sleep aid. He whispered a question into my heart. He asked me if I would like to learn that I don’t need this magic.

I was intrigued and I assumed that I was ready for this step if He asked this question, so I said yes. This was not as hard as the previous experiment in rediscovering the truth about the body. After the first week or so I haven’t really felt like I needed the Ambien. I have taken it a couple of times but I am certain I didn’t need it even then. The reason I am certain is that I am beginning to remember that the body doesn’t need anything. It is only the mind that believes it needs something and then projects that need onto the body in the form of pain, suffering and finally, death.

A couple of weeks ago I found a new prayer. I noticed that I had gained five pounds and could no longer wear some of my clothes. Well, no need to panic. This is a dance I am very familiar with. I knew what to do and I knew it would be easy to lose the weight. But suddenly I felt very tired of the whole thing. I felt tired of the constant struggle with weight and the way my life seemed to revolve around what I eat.

I was reminded of the way Holy Spirit helped me to see time differently. I used to think I had to be asleep at a certain time so I could get a certain amount of sleep before I got up to write in my journal with Holy Spirit. This felt very important to me because the writing was not optional but I had to get it done before work. This is why I took Ambien. I could not always sleep and then I would panic and think that as a result I would not be able to think to write, or I would oversleep and then would be late for work while I took the time for God.

There were other ways that time would be an issue. It was like time was a tyrant and I was enslaved to it. One morning I was feeling the flow from Spirit and my writing was taking longer than usual. I felt the familiar worry about time. I really didn’t want to stop the flow, but I had an appointment I could not miss. I felt, rather than said, a prayer that if put into words would be, “Holy Spirit, what can I do about this?”

Then I remembered what Jesus said in the Course about time. He said that he could manipulate time, and so I asked him to. And he did! I put my faith in his words and I continued to write until I was through. I resisted the ego nudging to look at the clock. I just kept writing until the flow stopped. Then I got dressed and left. Only then did I look at the clock and I was right on time. I often now taken Jesus up on his offer to manipulate time and it always works.

So this is what I thought about. I am no longer a slave to time and it feels so good. Now I wondered if I could forgive the idea that I am slave to food. Could food simply become for me something that fuels the body in this dream of bodies? Could I allow my perceptions of food be changed to something closer to truth? This is what the Holy Spirit is working with me on right now.

What I am learning from each of these lessons is that the body is not real. The body does not get sleepy and it does not resist sleep. This happens in the mind, which then projects it onto the body. The body does not get fat from eating food. The mind gets fat from guilt and fear, and projects it onto the body. There is now a story of a guilty Myron who overeats (or God forbid, eats something that actually tastes good) and suffers the consequences for her sin.

These lessons and my acceptance of the truth about them is the way I pray for forgiveness.  I have misperceived the world and the Holy Spirit is helping me to change that perception. This will, ultimately, lead to knowledge, though this is on another level altogether and comes directly from God. However, I am busy enough with the lessons I am given and am not concerned about how knowledge will come. I will allow the truth to unfold in its time.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-313

5-3-13
4 The fundamental question you continually ask yourself cannot properly be directed to yourself at all. You keep asking what it is you are. This implies that the answer is not only one you know, but is also one that is up to you to supply. Yet you cannot perceive yourself correctly. You have no image to be perceived. The word “image” is always perception-related, and not a part of knowledge. Images are symbolic and stand for something else. The idea of “changing your image” recognizes the power of perception, but also implies that there is nothing stable to know.

I understand this. I often ask the question, “What am I?” but I don’t ask myself and I don’t try to figure it out. Neither do I try to change what I am, that is, I don’t try to change the image you see when you look at me and then believe anything really changed. The image of Myron, body and personality, is not who I am.

I can play with that image all my life and no matter what seems to happen, nothing has been done. What I am cannot be changed, but it can be known. I simply have to ask the question of One Who knows. So far the answer has come as opportunities to let go of all I think I know. As that falls away I think that the truth will reveal itself.

5 Knowing is not open to interpretation. You may try to “interpret” meaning, but this is always open to error because it refers to the perception of meaning. Such incongruities are the result of attempts to regard yourself as separated and unseparated at the same time. It is impossible to make so fundamental a confusion without increasing your overall confusion still further. Your mind may have become very ingenious, but as always happens when method and content are separated, it is utilized in a futile attempt to escape from an inescapable impasse. Ingenuity is totally divorced from knowledge, because knowledge does not require ingenuity. Ingenious thinking is not the truth that shall set you free, but you are free of the need to engage in it when you are willing to let it go.

I am very curious about my origins. Where did I come from? When did I come? What am I? What is God? How can I be part of God when God created me? If there is no time, then there cannot be a when I was created and what on earth does that mean? These are questions I wonder about, but I don’t try to figure them out.

Sometimes I receive some clarity about one of my questions, but it does not come from the thinking mind. I notice that when I do get some unexpected clarity, it is not like it came from the encyclopedia. It is more like a knowing that would be pretty much impossible for me to put into words.

I remember a time when I used to sit around discussing philosophy and thinking that I was very clever. I remember thinking that I had it all figured out. I don’t even care anymore. I just want to know the next step so I can do my part. I know less, but am less confused.

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Study of the Text 5-2-13

5-2-13
3 Knowing, as we have already observed, does not lead to doing. The confusion between your real creation and what you have made of yourself is so profound that it has become literally impossible for you to know anything. Knowledge is always stable, and it is quite evident that you are not. Nevertheless, you are perfectly stable as God created you. In this sense, when your behavior is unstable, you are disagreeing with God’s idea of your creation. You can do this if you choose, but you would hardly want to do it if you were in your right mind.

The first thing I had to do to really understand this was to become aware of my instability. As I thought about this the word that came to mind was honesty. In the Manual for Teachers there is a section on honesty. In part it says:

“The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.”

I notice that I am closer now to being honest than I used to be. That means I am closer to being the self that God created. (Not that I could actually be anything else, but I am closer to accepting my self as God created me.) But as yet, I am still not honest.

I am not the judgmental person I used to be and yet I judge often. I notice judgmental thoughts in my mind, but instead of instantly believing them I question these thoughts and sooner, or maybe later, let them go. When I remember who I am there will be no temptation to believe judgmental thoughts.

I am learning that pain and suffering and death are not real. Sometimes when I am in pain I remind myself of the truth and the pain fades away. Sometimes when I am in pain I take a pain pill. Sometimes when I am in emotional pain I ask for clarity and the pain subsides or is transformed into joy. Sometimes I ride that train to the end of the line and wallow in self pity for awhile before I finally give it up.

I will be loving, kind and generous to one person, and judgmental, angry or maybe just indifferent to another person, as if one is more or less than another. Making one person special over another is dishonest. I am beginning to see how unstable my thinking and my behavior is and so I see why it is that I don’t know anything, but only perceive.

I am obviously still confused and so am in constant battle with God over my identity. God created me whole and I see myself as separate and different from others. God created me perfect, and I demonstrate daily my imperfections. God created me stable, honest, and all knowing, and there is apparently not one thing I am willing to absolutely know.

The thought that comes to me as I consider this is that there is great value in becoming aware of how unstable my mind is. The other thought is that it will not be helpful to try to change how I think or to control my behavior. This is not healing, but rather an attempt to use self-will to camouflage the belief in my mind. The solution is the Holy Spirit. Now that I am aware of the problem, I give it to the Holy Spirit for correction.

When I notice behavior or thinking that is out of accord with the truth, I put it on the altar. I offer it as a gift to God trusting He knows what to do with it. I accept His answer. In this one way I am becoming consistent. I practice this over and over and am learning to do so with patience and love and without guilt no matter how ugly the thought, or how often I must return with the same thought.

I trust that one day my perceptions will be corrected. One day I will know and there will be no more questions, no more doubts. This will be done, not through my efforts, but according to my desire. God will take that step for me.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-1-13

5-1-13
V. Beyond Perception
1 I have said that the abilities you possess are only shadows of your real strength, and that perception, which is inherently judgmental, was introduced only after the separation. No one has been sure of anything since. I have also made it clear that the resurrection was the means for the return to knowledge, which was accomplished by the union of my will with the Father’s. We can now establish a distinction that will clarify some of our subsequent statements.

Jesus, you said in this paragraph that the return to knowledge was accomplished by the union of your will with the Father’s. Is there anything you want me to know about that?

Jesus: You are confused about what this can mean. You wonder if you have never accepted that your will is the Father’s will because you do not feel anything momentous. This has been done, Myron. I have accepted the Father’s Will as our own. You do not need to do this. When I accomplished this union it was done for all. What you need to do is to allow your perceptions to be corrected to the degree that your mind can come into alignment with this holy Union.

Me: Ahh, I see. Thank you, Brother.

2 Since the separation, the words “create” and “make” have become confused. When you make something, you do so out of a specific sense of lack or need. Anything made for a specific purpose has no true generalisability. When you make something to fill a perceived lack, you are tacitly implying that you believe in separation. The ego has invented many ingenious thought systems for this purpose. None of them is creative. Inventiveness is wasted effort even in its most ingenious form. The highly specific nature of invention is not worthy of the abstract creativity of God’s creations.

What stands out to me in this paragraph is that when I make something it is always out of the belief in lack. I think I need something and this implies separation. When I know who I am I will know there is no lack. There is nothing I could need because I have everything. Obviously, though I am learning differently, I still believe in separation. I still believe I need some things. This will be true for as long as I believe in this bodily identity. For instance, I will need to eat.

So how do I apply this idea now? The first thing that comes to mind is that it is not helpful to try to stop thinking “need” thoughts. I think I need a paycheck next week. I am not going to try to suppress this thought. I cannot stop thinking I need a paycheck. I can, however, realize that paychecks are something that we made to fill a perceived need.

When I think about needing the paycheck it is because I think that if I don’t get one I will not be able to survive. I need it to eat. I need it to buy clothes, pay my mortgage, buy gas for my car, which I need to get from one place to another.. All of these needs are based on ideas I made to support the idea of separation.

I made the need. I made the solution. But no matter how many needs I solve, and no matter how clever I am in doing so, I will always make another need and conceive of another solution. I will never be satisfied. I will never feel safe. I will never feel full. This is because I still believe in lack and loss. The very act of trying to fill that emptiness reinforces the feeling of lack.

So here I am, in this world I made for the purpose of fulfilling a need so great and so deep that I cannot allow my mind to remember the source of this need. I will not make this need go away by filling the hole with more things I make up for that purpose. I will not fill it by thinking of more ingenious thought systems. I will not stop the desire to do this by trying to control this impulse through a separate will, no matter how strong I’ve trained that will to be.

What seems to be working for me is to notice the feelings of neediness. For instance, yesterday I noticed that periodically during the day I would want to be with my kids. I would think of one of them and wonder if they were home from work yet and if I should invite myself over. I examined that feeling and realized it was not coming from love, but from neediness. I thought I needed them to fill the hole in my heart.

I asked Holy Spirit to help me see this differently. I realized that it had to do with the Conference. While I was there I felt a sense of oneness because we were gathered for a single purpose. Now that I am home the feeling of joining was missing. I mistook the hugs and smiles and joy (which were symbols of the feeling of oneness) for Oneness. So I was trying to make a replacement for that feeling by being with my kids and getting the hugs and smiles back.

Of course the solution was not to avoid my children. The solution was to ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perception, to heal my mind of the belief that I lack anything. I cannot be separate from love and separate from oneness. I cannot replace love and oneness by placing myself in close proximity to special people chosen for that purpose.

The Holy Spirit is helping me to remember that I could not be alone. I am part of a whole. That whole is available to me at all times if I do not block it from my awareness through the desire to be separate. A little thing that I am doing that is helping me to remember is this. When I feel lonely I remind myself that loneliness is impossible.

I am surrounded by all that is. My angels and guides, my brothers and sisters in and out of body are all around me all the time. I don’t remember how to feel them, but if I want their presence known to me, they can help me with that. They can make their love known to me. So far what has happened is that when I ask for this reminder, I simply no longer feel lonely or alone. It is a subtle but sweet difference.

Anytime I feel needy and have the desire to fill that need with anything other than God’s Love, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I accept that healing to the best of my ability at this time and know that the desire to remember the truth will bring the truth forward in my mind in perfect timing.

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4-29-13

4-29-13
7 God and His creations remain in surety, and therefore know that no miscreation exists. Truth cannot deal with errors that you want. I was a man who remembered spirit and its knowledge. As a man I did not attempt to counteract error with knowledge, but to correct error from the bottom up. I demonstrated both the powerlessness of the body and the power of the mind. By uniting my will with that of my Creator, I naturally remembered spirit and its real purpose. I cannot unite your will with God’s for you, but I can erase all misperceptions from your mind if you will bring it under my guidance. Only your misperceptions stand in your way. Without them your choice is certain. Sane perception induces sane choosing. I cannot choose for you, but I can help you make your own right choice. “Many are called but few are chosen” should be, “All are called but few choose to listen.” Therefore, they do not choose right. The “chosen ones” are merely those who choose right sooner. Right minds can do this now, and they will find rest unto their souls. God knows you only in peace, and this is your reality.

I know how to listen to the Holy Spirit. I do it all the time, that is, except when I don’t. But I know how, and I know I want to. I just returned from the ACIM Conference in Chicago and I am still floating on the love and joy that comes from being with 400 or so people who have joined in a single purpose. The energy level is so high or the vibration level is up or whatever you want to call it. But it is a real phenomenon. I have experienced it at other conferences, but this one more so than ever before.

I feel such a strong connection with Spirit and it’s like being wrapped in the arms of One Who loves me without condition or end. So when I sat down to read the next paragraph and to ask Jesus to help me understand it, I was eager to see what would come. I was fully engaged. I began reading through this paragraph and when I got to the sentence that says few choose to listen, I didn’t think of myself as one of those few.

As I finished the paragraph, I again asked Jesus what it is he would have me know about this and began receiving thoughts. Suddenly, I realized that my mind had strayed to other things. I was not listening. I was one of those many who was choosing not to listen. Wow! How could that be? Where was my dedication? Where was the passion I felt just moments before? How is it that I could want anything more than I want to hear what Jesus would say to me?

If I continue to listen to the ego mind I will soon find myself lost in wrong-minded thinking and too discouraged to go on with the writing. I remember what that feels like and I feel the tug of it even now, though not the compulsion to follow the ego into hell. While at the conference I heard part of a presentation by Jennifer Hadley. In it she talked about getting on the pain train.  She reminded us that we don’t have to get on and if we do get on we can get off anytime we choose to. She also said that the end destination is self- loathing.

The reason I thought of this talk is because just now I was handed a ticket to that train. I so easily allowed my mind to wander away from Spirit and that was my ticket to hop aboard. The ego wants to take me to shame and guilt and fear and finally to self-loathing where I can wallow around in the idea that I don’t deserve the blessings I received this weekend. I don’t deserve the opportunity to journal with the Holy Spirit if I can’t even listen for a few minutes. I can’t do this. Why even try.

Fortunately, having taken that pain train many times before, I don’t need to do that again. I know where it goes and I know I am not interested. It is weird that I even feel the pull to hop on, but I absolutely am not going there. No matter how many times the ego mind turns from God, I will turn back. Jesus cannot turn me back to Him, but he will absolutely help me to make that choice myself.  He will erase all misperceptions from my mind if I will bring it under his guidance. Thank you, Jesus. I choose to take you up on that offer. Please guide me.

When he says that he will correct error from the bottom up, this is exactly what he meant. He cannot correct an error I want, but if I want to be corrected, he will do that for me. So I notice that my mind wanders and I notice that I feel guilty for this. I remember that my perception of guilt is screwy and I want it to be corrected. I ask for correction and it is done.

The Holy Spirit does not bring knowledge to me, and He does not drag me to knowledge, but He speaks to me all through the day and waits patiently for me to decide to hear Him. Then He heals what I ask Him to heal. This is how he starts at the bottom. As the perceptions are corrected and the mind is healed, I will naturally receive knowledge because it is only my misperceptions that are blocking my awareness. “Sane perception induces sane choosing.”

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Study of the Text 4-25-13

I am leaving this morning for Chicago where I will be presenting at the ACIM Conference. I will be back and writing again, probably next Tuesday.

4-25-13

6 The ability to perceive made the body possible, because you must perceive something and with something. That is why perception involves an exchange or translation, which knowledge does not need. The interpretative function of perception, a distorted form of creation, then permits you to interpret the body as yourself in an attempt to escape from the conflict you have induced. Spirit, which knows, could not be reconciled with this loss of power, because it is incapable of darkness. This makes spirit almost inaccessible to the mind and entirely inaccessible to the body. Thereafter, spirit is perceived as a threat, because light abolishes darkness merely by showing you it is not there. Truth will always overcome error in this way. This cannot be an active process of correction because, as I have already emphasized, knowledge does not do anything. It can be perceived as an attacker, but it cannot attack. What you perceive as its attack is your own vague recognition that knowledge can always be remembered, never having been destroyed.

Me: Jesus this is interesting, but how do you want me to use it? What is its practical application?

Jesus: It is helpful to understand that you made perception, which led to making the body so you could employ perception, since to perceive you must have something to perceive and something that perceives. It is hard for you to conceive of existence without conflict, but before perception there was only pure knowledge and therefore perfect peace.

Placing your awareness outside of what you are caused such confusion and distress that it felt necessary to find a way to be that was less distressful. A place was needed to fully explore what you had made and at the same time to avoid or at least distract yourself from the repercussions of your choices. So you made a self unlike what you are and a world unlike reality.

This put you in an impossible situation. To be something you are not, you had to “forget” what you are. This was done to keep your self “safe” from that awareness. You cannot be self if you have a memory of Self, so it was necessary to forget everything except what you made to take the place of reality. Now you must constantly guard against the truth and that makes the return of your memory seem like an attack. In your confusion you have made your Self your enemy.

As you have studied and practiced A Course in Miracles you have felt resistance each step of the way. Sometimes the resistance has been very strong and has slowed you to a stop until you were willing to trust me a little more. This resistance is the fear felt by the false self you made. As your mind is enlightened, the darkness will disappear and your memory will return. You will know your Self, and there will no longer be a self. The self you made senses this and resists it. 

Having just a little understanding of this will help you feel more comfortable with the idea of surrender. As you allow me to help you make different choices your memory will recover and you will see that you are surrendering only to your Self and that there is no loss in that surrender. Understanding this will help you overcome your resistance more easily and more quickly.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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