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Study of Manual for Teachers7-26-12

7-26-12
4 The world stands like a block before Christ’s face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came.

When I was confused about the world and was convinced it was real, it was so solid in my mind that I could not perceive it to be anything except the truth. At first before my mind began to change I was exposed to the truth but, though it was attractive, it seemed like science fiction or like the fascinating fantasy novels I am so fond of. Then as my mind began to clear, I knew the world could not be what it seemed but I still believed what I saw for the most part.

I wanted to know the truth, but I just couldn’t let go of the idea that a world that looked and felt so real could be an illusion. Of course I was looking and feeling with a body that was part of the illusion, but I couldn’t completely accept that. It was funny, really, because I could say I believed what the Course told me, and I thought I did, and yet I still reacted as if the world were real.

I cared about what happened in the world, and especially what happened to Myron as if they were real and mattered deeply. I still acted as if I were Myron was in charge of deciding what to do and her decisions affected the course of events. Finally, one day I realized how absurd all this was, and now when I think about it, I can’t believe how fully I accepted all this as truth and how hard it was to see that the world is not real.

But some time during the day I will again become temporarily confused and then will suddenly remember the truth and will laugh at myself. Probably this will happen more than once, but maybe not. I have no idea what will happen next. And isn’t that delicious. I used to think happiness was being in control and actually trying to control this illusion is folly and only causes stress. I bet that’s why the body ages and dies; all that stress from trying to do the impossible.

Now I see that happiness is knowing it’s not my personal job to keep the universe in its proper place. I thought I was supposed to wake up at 6:00 this morning, but obviously that was not so. It was the first surprise of the day to discover that I was supposed to wake up at 7:00. For a moment the mind was in charge again and was scrambling to figure out ways to get back in control of the day.

How could I make the time conform to my schedule or failing that, how could I make my schedule conform to a day that is going to be an hour shorter than my schedule allows for. Then I shrugged off the ego and gave the whole idea that I know what anything is for to the Holy Spirit for healing. I trust it will all work out as it should and I am watching with interest to see what that looks like.

Holy Spirit, the veil is indeed thin and insubstantial. I will never cease to be amazed that I could have failed to see through it for so long. Still, I know that I still become confused at times. I feel like someone who has awakened from a heavily drugged sleep and still falls back into their dream off and on while they fight off the effects of the sleep. If this happens today, help me to not take it seriously.

This personality I have chosen for the story of Myron has a tendency to take herself too seriously. It has been such a long time that guilt has been the guiding force for us that I fall back under its sway too easily, and then for a bit I know I’m confused but forget why. Teach me to laugh at the mind’s foolish beliefs when this happens and this will help me to see with clarity once again.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-25-12

7-25-12
3 Knowledge is not the remedy for false perception since, being another level, they can never meet. The one correction possible for false perception must be true perception. It will not endure. But for the time it lasts it comes to heal. For true perception is a remedy with many names. Forgiveness, salvation, Atonement, true perception, all are one. They are the one beginning, with the end to lead to Oneness far beyond themselves. True perception is the means by which the world is saved from sin, for sin does not exist. And it is this that true perception sees.

We do not receive Knowledge (note the capital K) while here but we do receive true perception as we are ready to accept it. I have said before many times that if I stop thinking for myself that knowledge would be given me. This is true because I use the word knowledge (without the capital k) to mean it is something that comes to me from outside the thinking mind. I don’t figure it out on my own, it is just given to me. This would be true perception.

It is very hard for us to stop using our thinking mind to make decisions and to figure things out. We have elevated thinking to such a point that we tend to worship intelligence and education above other things except maybe exceptional athletics and beautiful bodies. Do you notice what all our idols have in common? They are all symbols of ego, that is, symbols of separation.

It is very possible to stop using the thinking mind. It is fairly useless anyway. The intellect is just another word for a filing cabinet. It stores whatever bits of information we gather from other filing cabinets and makes it available to us to re-use, at least as long as the file clerk (brain) doesn’t fall down on the job. This was a perfect plan for the ego who is interested only in self perpetuation. As long as we are interested in this closed system we will never choose God instead.

I began my practice of breaking the information cycle by asking the Holy Spirit for His opinion once I had made my decision. Slowly I shifted a bit and began to ask Him before I made a decision. The final step is to ask Him for the decision. It wasn’t complicated. I just asked, “What would you have me do?” The answer I would hear would depend on how much I wanted to relinquish my own decision-making process.

I still go back to deciding on my own. It’s a hard habit to break. Only now I often notice and just laugh at myself. It’s so pleasant not to go through that cycle of guilt. The one that says I should have remembered. What I have learned is that I’m not supposed to train myself to do something or not do something. I just learn what I truly want, and the change happens without my effort.

I keep ambien with me and when I have those weird nights I can’t go to sleep, or if I am in a hotel with a convention of noisy drunks or giggling, screeching school kids, I have a ready solution. More than once the ego has suggested I should not be relying on magic solutions, but I have learned not to listen to ego and I am not interested in its offerings of guilt. I just wait to see what Holy Spirit has to say.

Last night I got a room near the front desk and next to the elevator. In the past when something like this happened I would go into my victim routine and bemoan my bad luck until the ego convinced me it was my just punishment for my evil deeds. Instead I waited to see if it was even going to be a problem. It was a pretty noisy place so I asked what I should do. No clear answer, so I took the ambien.

I had another reason as well. I have been trying to train my body to go to sleep earlier so I would have more writing time before I have to leave for work. So I take the pill as early as I can to get my body to sleep earlier so it will wake up earlier. (I don’t like to be jarred awake by alarms so I just work with the time I have when I wake naturally.) I have tried this before and it works for awhile then my body reverts to its preferred sleeping pattern.

So here I am trying once more to get a full night’s sleep and to get to sleep earlier. Again ego pointed its boney little finger of shame, but I ignored that. Then an interesting happened.  The ambien worked but not until my normal sleeping time. This is not usual. I’m pretty sensitive to the ambien and even though it is a low dose I can only take about a third of one. So it is usually a very dependable method.

As I’m lying there watching this happen I wonder why it is not working as planned. The thought came into my mind that perhaps I could be using these mornings to learn to allow the Holy Spirit to arrange time for me instead of trying to do it myself through magical means. It might have been the ambien which makes me kind of goofy, but I said, “Holy Spirit, is that You? That sounds like something You would say.” I went to sleep giggling.

How lovely it will be to let go of trying to control my sleep cycle and to even make the decision that I need to do this. I just bypass the mind entirely, and allow myself to be lifted and carried. Funny ego thinks I should feel guilty for relying on Holy Spirit for everything (like I’m going to wear Him out) and that I should make these decisions myself. That has been its story all along, but it was an error to listen to that voice and it led to misperceptions.

Now I am learning to ask for reinterpretations of everything, absolutely everything, and it’s very exciting! I have discovered that it feels good and natural to relinquish my desire to be in charge and to allow myself to be carried. I am being taught, or maybe the better word would be given, true perception as I allow it. Thank you, Holy Spirit.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-24-12

7-24-12
2 The body’s eyes are therefore not the means by which the real world can be seen, for the illusions that they look upon must lead to more illusions of reality. And so they do. For everything they see not only will not last, but lends itself to thoughts of sin and guilt. While everything that God created is forever without sin and therefore is forever without guilt.

As I look around I realize that nothing I see, no matter how beautiful or how horrific, is real. If I can see it with my eyes it does not exist. It is something I made up in mind and the only place it exists is in imagination. A thought so vivid I came to believe it is real, and it is me.

What this implies is that there is something real to be “seen” but it is seem differently, not with the body’s eyes that were made to show me my thoughts rather than reality. I wanted to have thoughts about something unreal, something impossible, and I wanted to experience this, so part of that process was to make separate bodies and equip them with eyes that report to me what I imagine. So what I see is not real but it is, rather, what I want to experience as real.

I wonder what is real. I wonder what stands beyond what the eyes can see.  I wonder what the real world is. I wonder what it is like to see without the eyes. I don’t stay with this idea too long because I have enough to do just learning to accept that I don’t “see” now.  I had one of those moments yesterday.

As I was getting ready for work I noticed I felt unhappy, and anxious. I asked Holy Spirit to look with me at my thoughts. I saw a resistance to ending the weekend and going back to work. I allowed that and asked to see more. I became aware of thoughts of my boss. He has been depressed and this affects his decisions and his reactions. His body has been sick and seems to be getting worse and worse. I thought of all the symptoms and wondered about what they might mean.

I had what seemed to be a random thought. I remembered that I am not what I seem and that to know what I am I must ask God. The body and the world will not show me the truth, but only the ego perception of separation. I thought that I was just remembering the idea from yesterday that I will not know the truth about myself by asking the ego. That means don’t look at my body, my relationships, my financial situation and judge what I am by what I see.

Then in a flash I realized this was not a random thought. This was the Holy Spirit’s answer to my dark thoughts. I was looking at my boss and seeing his body and defining him by what my eyes showed me. I had a very clear thought: Don’t ask the ego what he is. Don’t look to his body to define him. He is not that. I laughed at how perfectly the Holy Spirit led me to that answer simply because I asked. I laughed at myself for expecting the body’s eyes to show me the truth. I laughed in joy that all I saw was not real.

I cannot imagine what the real world looks like, but I can become aware that the world I do see is an illusion. This world will always show me sin and guilt because it was made from the idea of sin and guilt, but because it is not real what it shows me is not real. As I am willing to accept this, I can ask to be guided from the illusion to truth.

What I see will continue to report back to me what I ask for. When I got to work my experience with my boss was entirely different than I feared and that is because I was shown a truer way to see. It is not the real world but it is the illusory world reinterpreted. It is a step closer to reality and so it is a happier illusion because it is closer to what God created, and what God created is without sin and guilt.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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study of Manual for Teachers 7-23-12

7-23-11
4. TRUE PERCEPTION - KNOWLEDGE
1 The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end. 

The world I see is not real. That is the answer to all the ego separation stories. That is my salvation and my happiness. In the past every time I felt uncertain or uneasy about myself I looked at the story of Myron to see how I was doing. Did I say an unkind thing to someone? Did I forget someone’s birthday and so hurt her feelings? How about all those thoughts in my mind? Are they evil thoughts, unkind thoughts, fearful or guilty thoughts?

The story always gave me proof that I was guilty and had reason to be afraid. After all, the guilty are inevitably punished so I had every reason to live in dread. My life and my mind “proved” to me that I was in trouble. No wonder I felt uneasy and uncertain. I was always waiting for the hammer to fall.

A Course in Miracles tells me over and over that I am innocent. Yet, when I look at the story I see proof that I am guilty. Who will I believe? Will I believe the author of the story, the ego? Or will I believe the author of A Course in Miracles, Jesus. The Course says when we want to know what we are we ask the only thing in the universe that does not know. We ask our story, we ask the ego.

Well, the story is not real. It is transient, a passing thought in the Mind of the sleeping Son on God. I will awaken and the story will have dissolved; only momentarily remembered and then forgotten. The story is not real and proves nothing. Instead of looking to the story to see how I am doing, let me ask One Who Knows. The Holy Spirit will always judge me innocent.

As I have become more and more willing to accept His judgment, I see the insanity of believing in anything that is not God. God is not guilt, or fear or anger. God is not depression or sadness. He is not cruelty or sickness, suffering or death. God is not pain. I am created as an extension of God, in God, part of God. I cannot be anything God is not. I accept that simple truth and turn my face from the ego judgment. Why would I believe in an illusion? Why would I believe the flimsy proof of an illusory story over the certainty of God?

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-22-12

7-22-12
8 How lovely does the world become in just that single instant when you see the truth about yourself reflected there. Now you are sinless and behold your sinlessnss. Now you are holy and perceive it so. And now the mind returns to its Creator; the joining of the Father and the Son, the Unity of unities that stands behind all joining but beyond them all. God is not seen but only understood. His Son is not attacked but recognized. 

As I let go of the belief in guilt, fear begins to fall away. In the absence of fear and guilt, I see the world as perfect in every way. Even the things that used to be painful to view are seen as perfect. They are perfect reflections of an unlimited creation of an unlimited God. It is in those reflections, the wars and atrocities, the murders and rapes and all manner of separation thoughts that we see the folly of believing in separation, and begin to choose differently.

Horror is seen only through the filter of the separation belief. The killing of people at random as happened in Colorado when seen in this way is frightening. Suddenly people become afraid to go to the movies. Movies provide security during the Batman showing. Others express their fear as anger and insist on the right to arm themselves before they attend the movie. Parents become afraid to bring their children out.  People look suspiciously at each other.

Separation breeds more separation until we decide enough is enough and living in fear is not living at all. When that decision is reached, and sometimes it is unconscious, the way out of fear is provided. A book shows up, the awakening person finds a Mooji video on You Tube, or meets someone who studies A Course in Miracles or some other path to peace. As each of us becomes ready the path to God is made clear, each step laid before us in perfect timing.

Disasters, man-made or natural, seem like disasters only to those who are still confused, who still believe that they are the story they watch.  If I believe in the world and my existence within it, I will of course, believe I am in danger. If I believe in the guilt that resides deep in the mind, I will expect punishment and so will be fearful of everything. I see that someone in Colorado lost his tenuous hold on sanity and I will begin to build my defenses; I will provide protection for the body, and look within my own mind for proof that I am not like that person.

When I heard the news of the killings in Colorado, I watched my mind for thoughts about it. I didn’t feel afraid. I didn’t feel a need to defend against this kind of thing. I noticed the thought that maybe others will copy this man’s actions and maybe it would be safer to watch it on DVD. Then I laughed at that thought as I recognized it for what it was. I felt no anger at the shooter. He is me. He is another aspect of the mind that forgot what it was and is now trying to remember.

I feel compassion for those involved because I know what it feels like to believe I am a body, to identify with that body and that story so completely that I don’t remember anything else. I know what it is to become confused about reality even when I began to awaken. I am not sorry for the appearance of death because it is not real. The body is not real so what is it that could die? But I do feel for those who believe this. The belief in fear and death is very painful.

I wondered if I would remain so clear if this had hit closer to home, if it were my loved one who was killed. Of course I don’t know but I think that it would be impossible for me to become permanently confused again, though I still momentarily return to wrong-minded thinking. I notice when this happens and ask Holy Spirit for healing, but it doesn’t feel personal.

Yesterday I felt oddly out of sorts in the afternoon. I allowed the feelings. I watched it happen and watched my thoughts, and when I noticed I was suddenly feeling tense I saw I was resisting the feelings. I asked the Holy Spirit what was going on and if there was a way to be with these feelings and not take them seriously.

It was fascinating. Like reading an excellent book that elicits feelings but of course it’s just a book so the feelings are not real, and they dissipate as soon as you put the book down and become interested in something else. I saw that the feelings were a problem for me only as I began to think I should not be feeling them.

The discomfort came from judging myself for having the feelings. Judgment caused guilt and guilt caused fear. All of this was quickly undone as soon as Holy Spirit showed me this.  When I let these ideas go, I no longer cared if the feelings were there or not. When I asked Holy Spirit for a better way to be with this, I had the thought to do a guided meditation. Afterwards, the feelings were completely gone. I have to laugh about that. It was like with the meditation I was emptying my cache, and now the whole program worked more smoothly.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-21-12

7-21-12
7 There are no wishes now for wishes change. Even the wished-for can become unwelcome. That must be so because the ego cannot be at peace. But Will is constant, as the gift of God. And what He gives is always like Himself. This is the purpose of the face of Christ. It is the gift of God to save His Son. But look on this and you have been forgiven.

So much of what I have read in the Course seemed confusing and difficult to understand, and even as understanding began to come it felt impossible to live it. Now it all seems so simple and self-evident that I know it was never hard or confusing, it was just something I did not want. I believed for so long in my guilt that I did not dare face God. And of course if I believe I am guilty, I must see everyone else as guilty as well. I certainly can’t stand before God the only guilty one there.

I have wished for a world to hide myself. I have wished for many separate ones to hide among. I have wished for someplace to project my guilt when it became too much for me to look at. I have wished for a multitude of distractions so I would not have to remember what I gave up. I got all I wished for but now I discover the wished-for is unwelcome. It did not protect me or give me peace. It was so variable and unstable that it was completely undependable.

I am ready to recognize the Will of God as all that I want. The individual will was not only unacceptable,  it could never be true. No matter how I used it, or how many wishes were fulfilled it was just an illusion and so the effects are illusions. Nothing that did not come directly from God can exist. I exist because God created me and so I come directly from Him. I am an extension of God. Because this is true, there is nothing about me that can be anything other than God.

Do I feel guilty? This cannot be. I could be guilty only if guilt came to me at my creation. I could be guilty only if God were guilty and passed that on to me. Do I feel shameful or fearful? Only if God were ashamed and afraid. Otherwise, those feelings must be imagined. They cannot be real. I cannot be what God is not. Am I in pain? Only in my imagination. I can make a painful experience but I cannot actually be in pain. When belief in pain is withdrawn, the experience of pain becomes impossible.

As I let go of the absurd beliefs that define me as less than God, I let go of them for myself and for all my brothers and sisters. If I cannot find guilt in myself, I will not be able to find it in anyone else either. If I cannot believe in guilt, then I will see only innocence. I will look at my brother and see the face of innocence, the face of Christ, and that will be a reflection of my alignment with the Will of God. I will know that I and everyone else are exactly as we were created. Nothing happened. There is no sin for which to be forgiven. Now I know myself as forgiven.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers7-20-12

7-20-12
6 God’s Will is all there is. We can but go from nothingness to everything; from hell to Heaven. Is this a journey? No, not in truth, for truth goes nowhere. But illusions shift from place to place; from time to time. The final step is also but a shift. As a perception it is part unreal. And yet this part will vanish. What remains is peace eternal and the Will of God.
The Course tries to make it clear to us that there is nothing for us to do and nowhere to go. There is only God. There is only God’s Will. There is only Heaven. I have spent years of study and practice. I have sought out teachers who could help me on my way. I have read lots of books and written two. Did all of this get me closer to God? Only in the sense that it helped me want to be closer to God. It could not get me to God because I am already there. The only thing that needs to change is the mind.

Shift is such a perfect word for what happens. I experience a shift in my thinking, a shift in my beliefs, a shift in my experience, a shift in my willingness. I think of it or express it as moving forward, but there is no forward to move to. I just shift in my understanding. And how do I do that? I just decide to. I accept what is being told to me. I believe.

Jesus says that I am innocent and so is everyone else. He’s pretty clear about that. He says it often and in many ways. No one is guilty of anything because nothing actually happens. We dream things. We dream stories with drama and impossible situations, like there being more than one of us and there being hate and fear, attack and defense. Just dreams. So the Holy Spirit answers our dreams by giving us another dream. This dream is forgiveness which undoes the other dreams. Ha ha ha. How perfect is that?

I forgive the idea that I could ever be guilty. Obviously that is not possible. God created me like Himself so I could only be guilty if He were. If I cannot be guilty, neither can you. There. We are forgiven. There is no reason to feel guilty and no reason to condemn. As guilt falls away there is nothing but Love. There is Heaven. There is God. How delightful! We didn’t have to do anything to get this, just stop believing the impossible.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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