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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-5-12

7-5-12
Continued 7 In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. Consciousness is the receptive mechanism, receiving messages from above or below; from the Holy Spirit or the ego. Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm. At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge.

Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. I’m intrigued by this sentence. If will were not the first word in the sentence would it still be capitalized? If Jesus is talking about Will, the Will I share with God, then this sentence is telling me that my true Will is not part of this dream and has nothing to do with perception. In this way it is like God not being part of our dream. Our Will is not part of the dream, but continues creating as it always has, and as it was created to do, but not within the dream.

If this is the individual will, the separated will, that is being referred to in this sentence then it would be telling us that we cannot use our ego will, our ego determination, to make our choice for God, and that even our flimsy excuse for control is non-existent. We tell ourselves that it is a strong will that keeps us from doing certain things, and our strong will that keeps us from not doing other things. It seems this is not true.

For instance, I used to tell myself that when my will to lose weight became strong enough then I would go on a diet and stick to it. I was using the idea of an ego will to exercise control of my life, and to place myself above God. I would lose weight to prove I was in charge of my life and was strong. I would fail to lose weight and even this proved I was in charge of my life, and even in my weakness I proved I was above God.

Myron wasn’t doing any of this because she does not exist except in my mind. The real me was simply expressing beliefs in a three dimensional way and then identifying with that expression. But there was no use of will involved. I believe something to be true and it appears before me in some form so I can see how that works, and to see if I want to keep that belief or have it purified by the Holy Spirit.

To keep this straight in my mind, Will is creative and so is not associated in any way with the illusion. And will is simply another expression of the idea of separation, and so is in no way real.

When the Course uses the word consciousness it is referring to the mechanism that allows us to hear the two voices. It hears what the Holy Spirit says or it hears what the ego says. It functions only in the illusion where it is needed. It learns and so shifts and changes accordingly. Consciousness will eventually become aware of the real world but will not reach knowledge, which is outside the realm of illusions.

I identify most closely with consciousness because that is what I have to work with here, though I do understand that this is not what I am, but it is what I use. Yesterday I was doing errands and I began to feel mildly anxious. I watched my mind to see what was going on and realized it had been racing from one senseless thought to another. I deliberately shifted my focus to true thoughts and peace was restored.

This is an example of the consciousness mechanism at work. The awareness of the problem along with the decision for another Voice happened quickly because the consciousness is being trained to that purpose. I was also very aware that this is not who I am, and that awareness is growing.

I sometimes now have the sensation of not identifying self as Myron, though I know her well and so feel an attachment for her. (That sounds strange and is not actually accurate, but that is how it feels.) But I don’t have any feeling for who I am. I have words and concepts that I have learned through A Course in Miracles and through the Holy Spirit, but I don’t have any feeling for my true Self, nor any memory of what that is. Yesterday when that realization occurred, I felt like crying for a moment, but then was comforted. That Self is not lost, just out of my awareness for now.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-4-12

7-4-12

7 In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. Consciousness is the receptive mechanism, receiving messages from above or below; from the Holy Spirit or the ego. Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm. At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge. 

I’m going to take this slowly just to be sure I fully understand. In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. However I perceive what is happening or what I am seeing, I can choose differently. I am free to decide if I will see this with Christ Vision and so become free, or if I will see it with ego and remain in bondage.

If I discovered tomorrow that I have cancer, I might think that I need to be free of cancer, but my freedom lies only in my two options. Option 1 is to listen to the world as it commiserates with me, and tells me how bad this is, and how important that something be done right away to try to save the body.

It tells me about treatments and alternatives, stories of loss, and stories of recovery. The world will tell me that this is about my body and safeguarding it, healing it, losing it. It will tell me that I have reason to feel guilty for not taking good care of it, or that someone else is guilty for creating an environment that encouraged the cancer.

Option 1 is the ego and its goal is to make the body and the world very real, and to discourage any other option. The effects of listening to this voice are confusion, fear, anger, guilt, shame, pain, suffering and death. Listening to this voice will bring me deeper into the illusion.

Option 2 is to listen to the Voice for God. This Voice will tell me the truth about my Self and encourage me to focus on it alone in spite of what seems to be happening. It reminds me that I am not the body that seems to be sick, and that I am still as God created me. It tells me that I have done nothing wrong, am not guilty, and do not deserve sickness.

The Voice for God gently reminds me that I am not this character everyone calls Myron and I think of as myself. It tells me not to worry about her because she is just a figment of imagination, a reflection of thought, and cannot actually be sick and die. The Holy Spirit assures me that if something needs to be done in the story I will be told what it is as I listen to only His Voice.

I am reminded that pain is not possible because there is only God and there is no pain in God. I am asked to remind myself often that what is not God, does not exist. God does not have cancer and I am in God; how could I have cancer?

This Voice talks to me about my true nature, about the love of God, about my perfection and my true purpose. He assures me that dream or nightmare, the one thing both have in common is that they are not real. Nothing is happening. No one is guilty. Freedom is just a thought away.

I look around and see all the illusion has to show me. I focus my attention on self as body and personality and see, feel, exhibit symptoms and think surely this is real, and the Voice for God is the illusion, and I’m back in hell. Or I look around and see God’s Work everywhere. I see the love of family, the support of friends. I see people coming together to pray and be as one in whatever way they understand joining. I see beauty even in the illusion of sickness and death as the choice for God is made and the Light of understanding shines through, dissolving the darkness that is sickness. With a change of thought, I am released from hell and out of the illusion.

Tomorrow I will continue listening to Holy Spirit tell me what He wants me to know about this paragraph.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-3-12

7-3-12
6 Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions; perceiving sin and justifying anger, and seeing guilt, disease and death as real. Both this world and the real world are illusions because right-mindedness merely overlooks, or forgives, what never happened. Therefore it is not the One-mindedness of the Christ Mind, Whose Will is one with God’s.

Through right-mindedness we get to the real world, but even the real world is an illusion. It is a happier illusion, a reinterpretation of the illusion, but still an illusion. To return to the One-mindedness of the Christ Mind, where there is nothing to overlook or forgive, we must first undo what we have done through wrong-minded thinking and to experience our world differently.

There is nothing wrong with the idea of experiencing separation if that is what we want to do. It is not a sin and not even a mistake. We are the unlimited Sons of God and that means we can have any experience we want. However, when we forgot to laugh at the idea and took it seriously, we mistakenly believed in the experience, thus making it true for us. From this mistaken belief fear and guilt arose, and from that a world of separation gone awry.

Choosing to listen to the Holy Spirit is the way we retrace our steps and correct the mistake we made. We can then have the experience we intended before we got lost in fear and guilt. Once we have answered the question, “what would it be like to experience separation,” we can then let the question go, and with it the experience.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-2-12

7-2-12
5 The mind can be right or wrong, depending on the voice to which it listens. Right-mindedness listens to the Holy Spirit, forgives the world, and through Christ’s vision sees the real world in its place. This is the final vision, the last perception, the condition in which God takes the final step Himself. Here time and illusions end together.

The mind, our illusion-making machine, can also be used to turn the illusions off, or more correctly, it can help us diminish our desire for illusions. This is true because within that mind is the Voice for God, the Voice that guides us out of our confusion. This Voice will help us awaken from our dream if we listen to it. If we follow the advice given to us, we will begin to see the world differently. Done consistently, we will begin to see the real world, a world without pain, suffering, or death. Past that, we do nothing. God takes the final step, and illusions and time end.

We can do nothing to end illusions, but we can hasten the real world, through learning to listen to the Holy Spirit rather than ego. Learning to do this is only a matter of practice and willingness. Just a little willingness will get us started, and the practicing itself will increase our willingness until finally, we want nothing else.

When I first began to practice watching my mind for dark thoughts, I was afraid of what I would find and so pretended not to see them. But the little I was willing to see gave me something to practice with. I would acknowledge those thoughts and ask for a different way to see them. I became willing to forgive what I saw, that is to realize I was seeing amiss, seeing something that was not what it seemed. Then I asked for something else. My mind turned from the ego to the Holy Spirit for a new interpretation.

That was such a satisfying experience that I did it again and again with much more frequency. I discovered that allowing myself to see the dark thoughts was ok. There were no dire consequences as the ego had warned. My trust in ego diminished and my trust in Holy Spirit grew. As I forgave what I was seeing through ego (that is as I realized it wasn’t true and allowed it to be transformed through Holy Spirit) I taught myself that this is something I want, and so I began to listen to the Voice for God more than I did the ego voice.

I continue this practice and now take great joy in it. My willingness is strong and my desire for God is growing every day. Now when I see myself holding onto a belief that is hurting me, I am not confused about what it happening. I know that I do this to myself. I am amazed that I do it considering how painful it is to defend against God, but I also know that I will turn from the ego, if not now, then soon. I no longer see it as a betrayal to myself and to God, so its not scary. I know it is just a confused mind searching for truth in the wrong place. And I know that the confusion cannot last because I don’t want it to.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-1-12

7-1-12
4 The other part of the mind is entirely illusory and makes only illusions. Spirit retains the potential for creating, but its Will, which is God’s, seems to be imprisoned while the mind is not unified. Creation continues unabated because that is the Will of God. This Will is always unified and therefore has no meaning in this world. It has no opposite and no degrees.

And oh what illusions we make! The variety! The realism!  How clever we were to lose ourselves in the illusions so that we could get the full flavor of the separation idea. And how perfect it was to keep that spark of truth, the memory of our Self so that when we were done with this idea, we would have a Guide to take us out of it. I wonder if guilt and fear were simply an inevitable result of thinking we were separated from God and if we anticipated that part, or if it was an unpleasant surprise?

The ego mind makes illusions endlessly and is not going to stop. It is the only thing it can do, being made for that purpose and only that purpose. This is why I have become willing to start stepping back from the thinking mind. It had never occurred to me I could do so until I started reading from NTI about becoming an empty shell. My Heart responded to that immediately though the part of the mind that is resistant to letting go of the ego identity has not gone down without a fight.

Reading The Teachings of Inner Ramana and practicing what I read has helped a lot, and the thinking, the constant chatter of the ego, has lessened. It is quieter and more peaceful in my mind now. I am far from empty, but I am encouraged to continue my practice by the results thus far.

I cannot create in any true sense from this imprisoned state, but I can learn to slow the illusion machine down and to make gentler illusions. I can learn to allow the Holy Spirit to reinterpret what I see of the illusions. A healed perception is my goal while I seem to be here.

For now, every thought I have, everything I do or say, every choice I make either binds my mind more tightly in the chains of illusion, or further releases me from the desire for this experience. So I do the only thing I can do, I exercise the only freedom I have allowed myself in this game, I choose the guide, the interpreter I will follow. If I look to the ego for meaning, I go more deeply into the illusion. If I call on the Holy Spirit to show me what each thing means, I move out of the illusion. This is not a choice I make and then it’s done. I make this choice moment by moment until it’s done.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-30-12

6-30-12
3 Spirit is the part that is still in contact with God through the Holy Spirit, Who abides in this part but sees the other part as well. The term “soul” is not used except in direct biblical quotations because of its highly controversial nature. It would, however, be an equivalent of “spirit,” with the understanding that, being of God, it is eternal and was never born.

So, I imagine a duplex with ego setting up housekeeping on one side and spirit on the other. Holy Spirit abides with spirit, but Holy Spirit has many super powers, including xray vision, so He sees through the wall and is aware of what the ego is up to. One of His super powers is to discern the truth, and so He knows the ego for the deceiver it is, but also knows the ego is not real, so He is a dependable interpreter. He shares this information with me, but only when it is welcomed.

For instance, I become angry with a friend who I feel let me down. The Holy Spirit recognizes that this is an ego reaction born of fear. He hears the ego voice egging me on; “What kind of friend would act like that?” He understands why I listen to that voice. He understands my fear and doubts, my worthiness and abandonment issues. But because He knows they are unfounded, He can help me see the situation differently, if I’m up for that.

I start to feel uncomfortable with my judgment and the lack of peace it causes, and I want relief. I know from past experience that my roomie can see things in a way I am temporarily blind to and I want to ask for His interpretation, but I’m reluctant to let my friend off the hook. Would that really be fair? After all, she is guilty of letting me down. And if she is not guilty, who is? I’m the only one here and how could it be fair to make me the guilty party. I didn’t do anything.

The Holy Spirit hears all of this ego justification and He understands it. He knows I hold certain beliefs, and from the standpoint of those beliefs, my behavior makes sense. He also knows they are false beliefs, and waits patiently for me to ask for His help so that I can return to my natural state, which is peace.

I begin to tire of feeling like this so I ask the Holy Spirit for help. I’m not really ready to relinquish all blame, but I am willing to consider there may have been extenuating circumstances and maybe there is some reason she acted the way she did. The Holy Spirit smiles indulgently, knowing that I am not quite ready for His help. In praying for my friend to be less than innocent, I am praying for the truth not to be true and of course this is not a true prayer so He can’t answer it.

Finally, I cannot abide this conflict any longer. I don’t care what it takes, I want to return to peace. I tell the Holy Spirit I have confused myself. I am having trouble remembering how it is that my friend could be innocent when appearances so clearly prove her guilty, but I am willing to see the truth. I ask Him to heal my mind of the belief that she could ever be guilty.

There, it’s done. Ahhh.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-29-12

6-29-12
2 In this world, because the mind is split, the Sons of God appear to be separate. Nor do their minds seem to be joined. In this illusory state, the concept of an “individual mind” seems to be meaningful. It is therefore described in the course as if it has two parts; spirit and ego.

Appear and seem are two very often used words in the Course. I appear to be different than you. Our minds seem not to be joined. But this could never be true. I am one with everyone and every living thing in spite of appearances. The split only seems so and therefore there seems to be effects.

One of the chief learning devices in the Course is the idea of choosing between the ego and spirit.
• There are two voices and I listen to the one I would have be true for me.
• There are only two choices, ego and spirit.
• Even in this world I can learn to listen to only the Voice for God.
• I am always vigilant for my thoughts and asking the Holy Spirit to correct them.
• I ask the Holy Spirit to purify my thoughts.

All of this is the way I find my way back Home, the way I heal the split in the mind. It is my whole purpose here, my function. And yet, in reality there is no split in the mind. I am whole and complete and just as God created me. The split is imagined and the effects are imagined. I cannot have an individual body, self, will, mind. That is an illusion along with the split mind that imagined it.

And yet. And yet, even though I know on some level that this is true, evidently I remain unconvinced on some other level, even though levels do not exist. This is why we work our way backwards through the illusion to return to the truth. We Sons of God are master Creators and we have done an excellent job of the impossible. We have done such a good job that we have become lost in our own dream and must awaken a bit at a time so as not to scare the bejeesus out of ourselves.

The way to do this seems to be to treat the illusion of separation as if it were a real thing to be undone so that we can finally come to the happy conclusion that it never existed. So, I spend my days looking at the thoughts and watching the emotions. I notice how my choices affect Myron, how they make her feel. I learn to choose from the true thoughts in the mind and watch the change in Myron as I do so. Eventually, through this play of stories and characters, through the slow realization that I exist before and after Myron so must be something else, I begin to awaken. And I realize that nothing is at it seems.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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