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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-6-12

Day 97
9 The avoidance of magic is the avoidance of temptation. For all temptation is nothing more than the attempt to substitute another will for God’s. These attempts may indeed seem frightening, but they are merely pathetic. They can have no effects; neither good nor bad, neither rewarding nor demanding sacrifice, healing nor destructive, quieting nor fearful. When all magic is recognized as merely nothing, the teacher of God has reached the most advanced state. All intermediate lessons will but lead to this, and bring this goal nearer to recognition. For magic of any kind, in all its forms, simply does nothing. Its powerlessness is the reason it can be so easily escaped. What has no effects can hardly terrify. 

I was reading about Voodoo recently. The book says that sometimes a Voodoo priest puts a curse on someone with the intention of causing the person to die. I thought how silly this was, but when I read further it became clear that when the intended victim believes in the magic that person will die. On further consideration I realize that this is not all that different than the magic thinking we all do when we try to substitute our will for God’s Will. Its just as foolish and ineffective, but because we believe in it, the effects are real to us, even unto death.

Magic thinking is anything that is a separate will from God. I do this when I try to fix what I perceive as wrong or out balance by changing the form of things. Wishing for a lottery win to fix dissatisfaction with life for example. Believing unhappiness is caused by loneliness and trying to fix it by finding a mate who will give me whatever it is I think is missing in my life. Oh here’s a good one. Making someone else seem to be responsible for my guilty feelings and believing that this makes me innocent.

Any thinking that promotes the belief that pain, suffering, and death are myr deserved fates and unavoidable. And equally, any belief that this can be changed through the use of medicine, counseling, begging and bargaining with God, living a “good” life in the hopes of deserving something better.

Making plans and making decisions on my own. Trying to get people to like me by pleasing them. Acting humble and playing small so as not to tempt the fates. Giving meaning to everything according to whatever I believe will protect me in the moment. Defending and attacking to keep myself safe.  All these things are magical thinking.

When I was reading about the people who were fearful of the voodoo priest and what she could do to them and how much they were controlled by these beliefs, I wanted to say, “Wake up! This is not real and if you would just stop believing in her power, she couldn’t have any affect on you.” Well, I can say the same thing about myself.

If I stop believing in the crazy rules that I made up to take the place of complete freedom, I would be unaffected by them. I would no longer imagine I am trapped in a body, suffering sickness and death over which I have no control. All it takes to escape from this sorry state of affairs is to accept that I did it to myself in an effort to substitute my will for God’s Will, and that nothing actually happened. It seems to have happened because I am determined to believe in it, but really nothing happened, and I am safe.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-5-12

Day 96
8 Yet there will be temptations along the way the teacher of God has yet to travel, and he has need of reminding himself throughout the day of his protection. How can he do this, particularly during the time when his mind is occupied with external things? He can but try, and his success depends on his conviction that he will succeed. He must be sure success is not of him, but will be given him at any time, in any place and circumstance he calls for it. There are times his certainty will waver, and the instant this occurs he will return to earlier attempts to place reliance on himself alone. Forget not this is magic, and magic is a sorry substitute for true assistance. It is not good enough for God’s teacher, because it is not enough for God’s Son.

Yesterday was another good day, another day of relying on my sure protection. When I was tempted to fall into ego doubts and fears I chose instead to remember the truth. I did this quickly before it became difficult. It is so easy that its hard to describe the process.

I was at a workshop getting continuing education hours for my certifications. I knew many of the other people there and in fact many of them were customers. There was a man who I had hoped to make a customer and I noticed that I felt some resentment that he was so resistant to my efforts. I also noticed that it was a fleeting thought with little emotion attached to it. It was almost like a memory of something I used to feel. But I called on my protection anyway.

This was not like a formal prayer, but if it were it would have been like this. God, remind me of who I am and who he is. Here are all the thoughts that block the love that would flow between us. I gladly release them.

There was a man who used to be my customer. In the past there have been lots of feelings that roiled around in me when I thought of him. This time I had a memory of some of that, but I didn’t stay with it. I immediately called on my protection. I am not at all confused about what matters. I will be glad to have his business back and I will be glad if I don’t get it back. What matters to me is that I don’t feel resentment toward anyone involved. I don’t wish for anything. I had a brief chat with him and there was no discomfort in it for me. I was at peace.

There were two people there who have not in the past been very friendly to me. I noticed a familiar defensiveness in me and called on my protection. I just let it flow over me and through me. There really is nothing to do except to desire peace and desire the extension of love. I experienced this flow of love returning to me all during the day. It really felt like I was being enfolded in kindness.

When I was tempted to revisit old resentments or anxieties, simply desiring to return to peace was all that was needed. I didn’t have to think of ways to repair relationships. I didn’t have to defend myself even in my own mind, to make excuses or make the other person wrong. I didn’t use those flimsy excuses for protection, and when tempted by them, made a different choice.

Holy Spirit, I want today to be another day of peace. I know that I have a lot more experience with projection, defensiveness, blame, fear and guilt than I do with choosing peace, so I will need help. When I am tempted to self-defense, please help me to remember where my protection lies.

It will be a quiet day with few distractions because I have the day off. This means I will be alone with my thoughts. Honestly, that’s a little scary. I am willing to be vigilant for all magical attempts to protect myself from my own thoughts. I want to remember what it is like to be the Son of God, to be perfectly protected and perfectly joyful. I feel You inviting me to practice silence and I am willing. I am pretty excited to think of the opportunities today. Thank you.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-4-12

Day 95
7 How simply and how easily does time slip by for the teacher of God who has accepted His protection! All that he did before in the name of safety no longer interests him. For he is safe, and knows it to be so. He has a Guide Who will not fail. He need make no distinctions among the problems he perceives, for He to Whom he turns with all of them recognizes no order of difficulty in resolving them. He is as safe in the present as he was before illusions were accepted into his mind, and as he will be when he has let them go. There is no difference in his state at different times and different places, because they are all one to God. This is his safety. And he has no need for more than this.

Jesus is not suggesting in this paragraph that nothing untoward will ever again happen in my life when I accept God’s protection, but he is telling me that all problems will be resolved. He is saying all problems are the same, there is no big problem and little problem, and it doesn’t matter where or when. My safety is guaranteed. My guide will not fail me.

The only thing that keeps this from being true for me right now is that sometimes I would rather guide myself and solve my own problems. And then I ask for help only when I’m knee deep in the consequences of insisting on deciding on my own. I am completely connected to the Mind of God and have all Answers at my fingertips. Instead, I’m here saying, “No, no! Don’t tell me. Let me guess.”

Yesterday was a lovely day. I began with that wonderfully loving message from Holy Spirit that encouraged me to spend my day in joy and peace. But as I was getting ready for work the migraine I had the day before started coming back, and I was disappointed because this was supposed to be a happy day. Then I heard my Voice ask why I could not be happy with a headache. Okay, why not. So that is just what I did.

When I have a migraine I can take medication to dull the pain, but the medicine does not prevent me from feeling victimized and vulnerable. It doesn’t prevent me from projecting blame and feeling sorry for myself. Pain is just pain, but all that other stuff is suffering. It is the ego’s answer to adversity. Believing these thoughts is the way I keep my identity firmly in the ego. Yesterday, because of a different decision, I was delighted to realize that there is no reason to feel bad that I have a headache. Peace and joy were still right there for me and were not dependent on my physical condition.

I also noticed an interesting thing. The ego was resentful that I was not interested in looking pitiful when I got to work. I was aware of a desire to be noticed, for my boss to say, “You look sick. Are you ok?” Jeez, I came to work with a migraine. Shouldn’t someone feel bad for me? Shouldn’t I at least get credit for it?

I bet my boss would be nicer to me if she knew I was sick. I bet she would think I was a dedicated worker and be glad I worked for her. Maybe she would tell the big boss. (Ha ha, I wonder what the payoff is for sickness.) These were just thoughts passing through, hoping I would sit up and take notice, that I would act on them. But I decided not. I decided to have thoughts of joy and peace instead.

Another kind of thought tried to take up residence in my mind. The medicine I was taking seemed to dull my thinking somewhat. I was slow remembering things, just not as sharp as usual. I thought about losing my peace over this… for about a nano- second. Then I decided that if I needed to remember something that thought would be given to me.

I do not need the ego thinking mind for anything but the most mundane tasks. Anything more than that and it just gets in the way, making decisions based on the past and so keeping me stuck in old cycles. Yesterday was a lovely day, a happy day, a peaceful day. I feel very grateful to realize that circumstances have so little to do with my decision to choose thoughts of joy and peace.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-3-12

Day 94
6 There is one thought in particular that should be remembered throughout the day. It is a thought of pure joy, a thought of peace, a thought of limitless release, limitless because all things are freed within it. You think you made a place of safety for yourself. You think you made a power that can save you from all the fearful things you see in dreams. It is not so. Your safety lies not there. What you give up is merely the illusion of protecting illusions. And it is this you fear, and only this. How foolish to be so afraid of nothing! Nothing at all! Your defenses will not work, but you are not in danger. You have no need of them. Recognize this, and they will disappear. And only then will you accept your real protection.

I am very comfortable with the idea of undoing the ego. I have spent the last 30 years learning what the ego is and practicing the processes to let it go.  I’ve learned to be vigilant for my thoughts. I’ve learned to move through fear more quickly, and learned that while fear is very uncomfortable while I’m there, it can’t really hurt me. I’ve learned that while I may still be resistant to releasing certain beliefs, there is no false belief worth keeping and none that I must keep. But when Jesus says to spend time during the day thinking of joy and peace and unlimited release, I am flummoxed.

Sometimes I am truly joyful. It bubbles up from some source I am not in touch with most of the time. It overflows and engulfs me in happiness and peace. There is no reason for it, no story that explains it. I don’t do anything to make it happen, there is no word or action on my part that allows this wonderful feeling. As it happens I am incredibly grateful, but I don’t know what Jesus means when he says that I should remember thoughts of pure joy.

Holy Spirit: Precious, precious, One. Holy child of God. There is nothing for you to do. Let the thought of joy be in your mind. That is all, just let it be there. If you are not actively engaged in thinking of sad, fearful, guilty thoughts, then the only thought that will be there is one of joy, peace and freedom.

If you will stop pushing against your life, you will notice what a happy life it is. You are living the life you want to live, and all the while pretending that you have somehow been forced into this place. As if the Son of God could be anyplace He has not chosen. This is the thought from which you must awaken.

Your life is exactly the experience you have chosen, and you are perfectly safe within it. You don’t need to wake up from this illusion, but from the belief that you are being held prisoner within this illusion and that you suffer this illusion. The question is not how to be joyful and how to be at peace, but rather how it is that you continually catapult yourself out of peace and joy.

Me: Holy Spirit, I feel the answer in my mind and know that it is guilt. I also feel the solution which is You. I am very happy to report that I am not nearly as afraid of letting go of the guilt as I used to be. I no longer believe that the guilt is caused by things I have done wrong. I know that the guilt comes from the mistaken idea that I have changed my nature and am now separate from God, not connected to Him, not in Him. This is something else I don’t completely believe anymore.

I open my mind to You and I ask You to please heal the belief that I could be less than what I am, and that God is something He is not. Thank you so much. I feel the joy rising in me again as I remember that I don’t need the world to be the place I hide from God. Please, today show me what you would have it be to me.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-2-12

Day 93
5 The same procedures should be followed at night. Perhaps your quiet time should be fairly early in the evening, if it is not feasible for you to take it just before going to sleep. It is not wise to lie down for it. It is better to sit up, in whatever position you prefer. Having gone through the workbook, you must have come to some conclusions in this respect. If possible, however, just before going to sleep is a desirable time to devote to God. It sets your mind into a pattern of rest, and orients you away from fear. If it is expedient to spend this time earlier, at least be sure that you do not forget a brief period,-not more than a moment will do,-in which you close your eyes and think of God.

I am not as consistent with my ritual at night as I am in the morning. I feel the burden of my errors at night. It is as if every error of the day is weighing me down and exhausting me. Some evenings I only feel like hiding. I want to distract myself by reading or listening to a story. There is, of course, nothing wrong with reading a novel but the reason I am reading is to get away from my guilty thoughts.

I think this is the reason Jesus tells me to perform this procedure at night. The ego is very attracted to guilt and resists the idea of changing its night ritual of either thinking about all my sins or pretending there is nothing to think about which leaves me in a mild state of anxiety. Since I am hiding the reason for the anxiety from myself there seems to be no help for it.

I used to think that sleep was my only salvation from this. But sleep often became the playground of the ego, the place where ego played out all the defensive thoughts I buried in my mind during the day. In my sleep I was able to give full sway to the ego desire to defend and attack, and I used to have some pretty awful nightmares at times.

This doesn’t happen as often now. I seldom have really bad dreams anymore. I think that’s because I have had a lot of healing in my mind. In fact I sometimes dream of being taught by someone. I sometimes dream that I am teaching someone. Those times I wake up very happy, but a little frustrated because I almost never remember what it was that was being said, only the feeling of joy.

Jesus is giving me a very simple way to turn my mind away from fear. It asks only a moment of my time as I remember God, remember love, remember innocence. I have often asked that Holy Spirit teach me in my sleep and sometimes this is part of my nightly ritual. And now, of course, as I play the Course in the background as I sleep, the words penetrate and my rest is deeper and more satisfying, my dreams influenced by its ideas.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-1-12

Day 92
4 This course is always practical. It may be that the teacher of God is not in a situation that fosters quiet thought as he awakes. If this is so, let him but remember that he chooses to spend time with God as soon as possible, and let him do so. Duration is not the major concern. One can easily sit still an hour with closed eyes and accomplish nothing. One can as easily give God only an instant, and in that instant join with Him completely. Perhaps the one generalization that can be made is this; as soon as possible after waking take your quiet time, continuing a minute or two after you begin to find it difficult. You may find that the difficulty will diminish and drop away. If not, that is the time to stop.

Gary Arnold is a long time Course teacher and a friend. The last time I went to a workshop given by him he told me that he plays the Course at night while he sleeps, and he finds it very helpful. So I decided to try it. For a couple of weeks now, I turn on my iPod and fall asleep to A Course in Miracles.

It is absolutely penetrating my sleep. My dreams have changed and are often teaching dreams. Or they are dreams that are impacted by Course principles. I wake up to the Course and I lay there listening for awhile. In even this short time, I notice a depth to my understanding that was not there before, and an appreciation and gratitude for what is being said. I also wake up happy.

Another part of my morning routine is that after I make my coffee I sit down at my computer and open this document. I then get quiet and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants me to know about this paragraph. And then before I read the paragraph I sit for a moment or so allowing myself to feel my love for God.

These are my routines, at least for now. I remain open to change. I love this process but I am not attached to it. I love it because it makes me happy and it feels like guidance, but if I were to feel that it should change then that would be good too because I know that any change would be something that brought me peace and happiness. I trust that.

I spend the night in a hotel at least three times a week, and things happen. If I forgot to pack my iPod, or the internet was not working at the hotel, or something happened that I couldn’t have my routine, I don’t doubt that it would be ok.  I remain in God no matter what is happening in the story. The Holy Spirit is in my mind no matter what is happening in the story. I love my routine because it is helpful, but I know it is not vital to my awakening or to my happiness.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-31-12

Day 91
3 At the beginning, it is wise to think in terms of time. This is by no means the ultimate criterion, but at the outset it is probably the simplest to observe. The saving of time is an essential early emphasis which, although it remains important throughout the learning process, becomes less and less emphasized. At the outset, we can safely say that time devoted to starting the day right does indeed save time. How much time should be so spent? This must depend on the teacher of God himself. He cannot claim that title until he has gone through the workbook, since we are learning within the framework of our course. After completion of the more structured practice periods, which the workbook contains, individual need becomes the chief consideration. 

I was the most resistant person ever to complete the workbook, I think. I loved the text. I read it like a good novel and could hardly put it down. Sometimes I was thrilled with what I read. It was like it told me stuff I knew, but until that moment, didn’t know I knew. Sometimes it scared me. Sometimes I would stop in wonder that I believed all that I read. Why would I? And yet, I did.

The lessons, on the other hand, were a stumbling block. Or a stumbling boulder, maybe a stumbling mountain! I would do them without understanding, but do them non the less, until I got to a certain place and then I would stop. I did this over and over. I would stop for reasons I didn’t really understand, but would create reasons for. I didn’t do it right. I keep forgetting. I don’t have time. Its not really important. I often felt shame because I couldn’t seem to do this, and guilt because deep down I knew I didn’t want to do them.

I had been studying the Course for many years before I finally made the choice to give my focus to the Course. It was funny, really. There was no plan in the mind about how this would happen, no big moment in which I suddenly realized that I was no longer afraid to do the lessons, and that I was ready to truly become a teacher of God. It was quite un-dramatic, more like a switch being thrown. The mind made up stories about it, reasons for picking up the Course and choosing to study in a new way, but I feel strongly that it happened the way it did because it was time, that I was on a schedule completely outside the thinking mind.

I began studying the Course in 1981. I studied it and tried to live it, but, jeez, it was hard. Only once in a while did I have anyone to share it with and there were not the wealth of books and groups that we have today. The internet was not something we had at first, and even when we did, I was ignorant of it. It was very slow going for me, but when I made that choice, sometime in 1999 I think, to give my devotion to the study of the Course, I picked up the workbook, and for the first time ever, I went all the way through it.

I had discovered the internet, and that there were lots of other fellow students available to me now with whom I could study. There was a forum on Pathways of Light website and a small group of us studied together, sharing our daily struggles as we went through the workbook. It was the help and encouragement I needed to get through the lessons, and getting through the workbook changed everything for me.  I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but based on my own experience I can understand why Jesus says that we need to do the lessons. The text made me want to change, but doing the workbook lessons made this change possible.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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