A New Way to See

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Innocent Victim Role

Dear Everyone, these thoughts surfaced to my awareness today.

My desire and decision to be happy seems to have vanished. It’s easier to play the innocent victim role, then to be mindful of the errant thoughts that are not true.
Why do I choose pain and punishment over peace and joy?

Only because I believe that I am unworthy and guilty of attacking God, so I deserve punishment and attack. This feels very heavy to me, it makes it difficult to breath deeply.
It is my own thoughts that attack me, it is my guilt thoughts that make punisment seem justified. Is it really worth protecting my “story” from the light of Truth?
Do I cherish my story so much that I shun the truth of Love? I am insane indeed!! And I allow the insane mind to run the show, drive the bus, make the choices. This I can change.

I change this direction by choosing for Love. I watch my thoughts and do not attach to them or take them seriously.
I watch the thoughts and remind myself that “these thoughts I do not want.”
I ask the Holy Spirit to replace attack and guilt thoughts with Love’s thoughts. I choose to practice mindfulness over and over again,
till the practice becomes a habit, so ingrained that it is second nature to me.
Doing this practice is better use for time then what the ego made time for. Eventually that “new” habit will be my first nature, which is my only nature.

Holy Spirit, I give this day to you ~~~ Guide me in every instant and do not allow a dark thought to go unobserved.
I give all meaningless thoughts to you.  Thank you very much.  amen.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

More Meaningless Thoughts

Dear Everyone, these thoughts came to mind recently .....

I do not perceive my own best interests.   
While I think that I am a body, I can not perceive my own best interests, for the body has only to do with belief in separation. The body has many goals that perpetuate the idea of separation, while the “goal” of Spirit is to extend love and nothing else.

To know peace is to extend love. The little mind cannot have peace as it pursues many different goals. It will be confused and distracted as it tries to achieve many outcomes to one goal. As it does not perceive it’s own best interests, it does not realize there is only one goal, only one choice that will bring contentment and happiness, peace and love. Being the ego, the little mind never wants peace that leads to love and happiness, as this would lead to it’s undoing.

The thoughts I seem to think without Love, are meaningless. The thoughts I think with Love are true. The meanings that I hate, the beliefs that “make” me guilty, the judging and condemning, all are things that I project because I don’t want them to be of me. I mistakenly think that those thoughts are me, but this is not true. I am not an insane idea, I am not a separated thought floating about aimlessly in an oblivious universe. I am as God/Love created me. I have pushed this memory so far down in my mind, that from my current perspective, I cannot fathom what that is like.

H.S., I asked earlier that my mind be wholly healed today—I would accept your guidance now and always. I would give up every unloving thought and have in its place the extension of Love.
I am willing to release all that is unlike Love, I am willing to be corrected and healed.
I am willing to give up my insane dream of grievances and vengeance.  Thank You very much. amen.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

Notice Unkind Thoughts

When waking this morning, I asked:

Holy Spirit, where do I start?

Spirit: Start where you are now. Any thoughts from your “past” are meaningless. They are brought up to obscure the truth, to delay your now awareness.
They are brought up to be released to Love.
As you learn to release the thoughts that deny the truth, you return to the Love that you are and have always been. The meaningless fear thoughts are laid down.

You begin in this moment, with willingness to let go of thoughts that hurt you. You accept the idea that you do not know your own best interests.
If you do not know what is “best” for you, that there must be some source that does know. You allow this source to be your Guide.
You practice listening to and following the directions of this Guide.

When you notice unkind thoughts that pop up, remember that you have no need of defense of any kind. Remember that an unkind thought is based on fear, and that fear is a false belief. It is not a belief that you want to keep. See yourself giving the thought or belief over to Holy Spirit. Remember that unkind thoughts are not what you want. What was once used as “protection” will be seen as appeals for help and healing. Every unhealed thought is here for your benefit, to undo the false belief that it would hide. Be thankful that you have asked for healing and it is here Now.

Practice as I have directed, and your load will be lightened. Practice each moment and with your willingness you cannot fail.
The huge will be made small, the potholes will be made dimples, the defects will be blessings.
You have many gifts to give, refuse not to give them everywhere. Share all that you are learning and fear not that you will be left comfortless. You are always safe, always loved, always holy, always Home.  All your fears will be uprooted and laid aside. Taking every fear to the light, will release you from your dreams. You will wake. Nothing is withheld from you.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

My Victim Story ~~ Forgiveness Releases the Dreamer of the Evil Dream

My story was that I was unwanted, and unloved.

I made note of the many times that I felt abandoned.…being 4 weeks premature at birth I was put in a incubator, my mother had no chance to hold or bond with her new baby.

I remained at the hospital for 4 weeks, when it was determined that I could go home, my mother was ill so that my great-aunt and father came to take me home.

At a young age, my Grandfather, mother and brother went to an area of hickory trees to pick nuts. After our lunch I fell asleep, and mom, grandpa and brother continued looking for nuts. They were out of sight when I awoke, and I let out a scream, thinking that I was alone.

Another time, my mother was trying to get us ready to attend the wedding of one of her cousins. Through no fault of her own, she was late so she felt pressured. There had not been the invention of hair conditioner, and my long hair was tangled after my bath. I cried as she tried to comb out the snarls. In frustration she cut my hair short. I felt ashamed, and even worse when a friend at the wedding made a joke about my appearance.  Once more I was unloved.

It seemed that whenever I garnered disapproval from parents, that meant I was not wanted and not worthy of love. These misperceptions have been carried with me, so I could keep the victim status. These perceptions were kept safe by the ego mind. Every thing that was “done against me” was carefully cataloged by the ego mind. My judgment became that my mother was not ready for me, she did not want me, she then neglected my emotional needs.

I asked Holy Spirit; Help me to see this differently. I am willing to free my mother of my projections and judgment. I would see her as pure and innocent, simply playing a part that I designed for my learning.

Spirit: You came with intention of learning to believe in yourself. Now you realize that it is your Self that you really want to have faith in. You mistook the egoic agenda of being right, as your need to have approval.
In the dream your mother seemed not to give emotional support, nor communicate with understanding to you. This was to facilitate your lessons in accepting your feelings, but not getting caught in them. To learn to listen clearly and to learn to communicate clearly to others.  She performed exactly as you desired…. can you now see her innocence and perfection?

I then felt a gentle peace enfold me.

A day later, these thoughts came to mind:  Only truth is true.  I cannot reconcile illusions with truth. Attempting to do this, makes me unhappy—- and diverts my attention away from truth.
The guilt I “see” in others is only the guilt I believe is in me. I think all is dark within me and will not look there. But the truth is—all is light within,
because God put it there and it has not changed.
I was led to read in ACIM:
T 13.X.9, 4&5
In the shining peace within you is the perfect purity in which you were created. Fear not to look upon the lovely truth in you.                                                                                      T 13.X.10, 5-7   You who have always loved your Father can have no fear, for any reason, to look within and see your holiness. You cannot be as you believed you were. Your guilt is without reason because it is not in the Mind of God, where you are.  (Italics mine)

T 14.II.5, 5-7   When you teach anyone that truth is true, you learn it with him. And so you learn that what seemed hardest was the easiest. Learn to be a happy learner. You will never learn how to make nothing everything. 5 Yet see that this has been your goal, and recognize how foolish it has been. 6 Be glad it is undone, for when you look at it in simple honesty, it is undone. 7 I said before, “Be not content with nothing,” for you have believed that nothing could content you. 8 It is not so

In giving up my self deceptions, I allow everything to be as it is. I can look on my past and let it be as it was. I can look with truth and see that nothing was “done to me.”
I chose this experience to offer myself another way of being; to forgive what never happened. To see my brother’s (mother’s) guiltlessness. For they remain as God created them, one with me, one with All That Is.

The hidden belief was that I rejected mother (leaving the womb early) and abandoned her. Those thoughts became the “safe way out”—- to reject others before they could abandon me. Nothing can happen to me without my consent. I set up all those “traumas” for the specific lesson to learn that I have choice in how I react or feel about any experience. If I look at my past story—- I can look with Love and see every form of fear and guilt was a call for love or help. I can see that I was not a victim of an antiquated hospital system nor an uncaring mother. I was not a victim of abandonment. These thoughts were chosen by the fearful mind that wanted to project it’s belief in guilt that it abandoned God and did not want God.
And now, I forgive the dream story that I made.  I forgive the actor(s).  I forgive my foolish thoughts of fear. 
I have never been harmed, never rejected, never alone.

LESSON 247.

Without forgiveness I will still be blind.
W-247.1. Sin is the symbol of attack. 2 Behold it anywhere, and I will suffer. 3 For forgiveness is the only means whereby Christ’s vision comes to me. 4 Let me accept what His sight shows me as the simple truth, and I am healed completely. 5 Brother, come and let me look on you. 6 Your loveliness reflects my own. 7 Your sinlessness is mine. 8 You stand forgiven, and I stand with you.
W-247.2. So would I look on everyone today. 2 My brothers are Your Sons. 3 Your Fatherhood created them, and gave them all to me as part of You, and my own Self as well. 4 Today I honor You through them, and thus I hope this day to recognize my Self.

~~~Thank you Holy Spirit, please continue.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

Incentive of Hope

Dear Everyone,

Recently I have been reading “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. In this book she records her experience of an unusual type of stroke at the age of 37. Seeing how her recovery spanned 4-8 years, I was able to put my spinal cord experience in perspective.
I had been feeling defeated by the absence of fast recovery from the 2nd transverse myelitis episode. I compared it to the rapid recovery I had had the first time.
I had been thinking that I would never get my abilities back.

But reading of Jill’s experience, of her work and desire to be fully functioning again, that her recovery took several years, means that my recovery is not impossible. It means that I must be patient with my body, with my mind. I need only keep practicing the exercises to strengthen the weak muscles. For the last 10 months my focus has been on the body and its functions. With the 2nd episode of T.M.,  I felt frustrated. I denied that I had made up this repeated dream. I felt betrayed, and did not trust my Inner Voice. And I felt guilt as I knew I had not been consistent in my listening or spending time with Holy Spirit, to give up the thoughts that plagued me. In my unwillingness, I was stuck. The dream of separation seemed very real to me.

In the back of my mind, there remained the idea that this situation was not God’s Will for me. I could change my mind and stop wallowing in the puddle of self pity
(I’m a victim role). To help me remember the truth about us, I joined with another minister in a Miracles Studies program. Together we remember that minds are joined,
all are in Care of God. That bodies are only symbols of the insane wish to be alone, or independent. To be reminded that this dream of forgetting was over long ago,
and eventually I will fully remember that I (we) have never left our Creator, and He never left us.

With the incentive of hope, I’ve rekindled the spark of love. I have trust returning to my mind. I have willingness to practice not deciding anything on my own. I have willingness to
ask Holy Spirit for insight about my thoughts and then acceptance of His knowing. The transformation that I really want is not for the body….. the transformation of my mind
is my true desire.
I never can do this alone. I need only ask and He will answer. I practice in letting go of the drama, the upsets, the comparing, the slight irritations, the frustration.
I return to peace within my mind. In peace I rest, and am restored. The peace of God is in me now …… it was never gone. Just obscured by images I have thought were real, were important.
I thank Holy Spirit for His insights and His constant love. I thank my brothers for every opportunity to see the Light in them.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

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