A New Way to See

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My Victim Story ~~ Forgiveness Releases the Dreamer of the Evil Dream

My story was that I was unwanted, and unloved.

I made note of the many times that I felt abandoned.…being 4 weeks premature at birth I was put in a incubator, my mother had no chance to hold or bond with her new baby.

I remained at the hospital for 4 weeks, when it was determined that I could go home, my mother was ill so that my great-aunt and father came to take me home.

At a young age, my Grandfather, mother and brother went to an area of hickory trees to pick nuts. After our lunch I fell asleep, and mom, grandpa and brother continued looking for nuts. They were out of sight when I awoke, and I let out a scream, thinking that I was alone.

Another time, my mother was trying to get us ready to attend the wedding of one of her cousins. Through no fault of her own, she was late so she felt pressured. There had not been the invention of hair conditioner, and my long hair was tangled after my bath. I cried as she tried to comb out the snarls. In frustration she cut my hair short. I felt ashamed, and even worse when a friend at the wedding made a joke about my appearance.  Once more I was unloved.

It seemed that whenever I garnered disapproval from parents, that meant I was not wanted and not worthy of love. These misperceptions have been carried with me, so I could keep the victim status. These perceptions were kept safe by the ego mind. Every thing that was “done against me” was carefully cataloged by the ego mind. My judgment became that my mother was not ready for me, she did not want me, she then neglected my emotional needs.

I asked Holy Spirit; Help me to see this differently. I am willing to free my mother of my projections and judgment. I would see her as pure and innocent, simply playing a part that I designed for my learning.

Spirit: You came with intention of learning to believe in yourself. Now you realize that it is your Self that you really want to have faith in. You mistook the egoic agenda of being right, as your need to have approval.
In the dream your mother seemed not to give emotional support, nor communicate with understanding to you. This was to facilitate your lessons in accepting your feelings, but not getting caught in them. To learn to listen clearly and to learn to communicate clearly to others.  She performed exactly as you desired…. can you now see her innocence and perfection?

I then felt a gentle peace enfold me.

A day later, these thoughts came to mind:  Only truth is true.  I cannot reconcile illusions with truth. Attempting to do this, makes me unhappy—- and diverts my attention away from truth.
The guilt I “see” in others is only the guilt I believe is in me. I think all is dark within me and will not look there. But the truth is—all is light within,
because God put it there and it has not changed.
I was led to read in ACIM:
T 13.X.9, 4&5
In the shining peace within you is the perfect purity in which you were created. Fear not to look upon the lovely truth in you.                                                                                      T 13.X.10, 5-7   You who have always loved your Father can have no fear, for any reason, to look within and see your holiness. You cannot be as you believed you were. Your guilt is without reason because it is not in the Mind of God, where you are.  (Italics mine)

T 14.II.5, 5-7   When you teach anyone that truth is true, you learn it with him. And so you learn that what seemed hardest was the easiest. Learn to be a happy learner. You will never learn how to make nothing everything. 5 Yet see that this has been your goal, and recognize how foolish it has been. 6 Be glad it is undone, for when you look at it in simple honesty, it is undone. 7 I said before, “Be not content with nothing,” for you have believed that nothing could content you. 8 It is not so

In giving up my self deceptions, I allow everything to be as it is. I can look on my past and let it be as it was. I can look with truth and see that nothing was “done to me.”
I chose this experience to offer myself another way of being; to forgive what never happened. To see my brother’s (mother’s) guiltlessness. For they remain as God created them, one with me, one with All That Is.

The hidden belief was that I rejected mother (leaving the womb early) and abandoned her. Those thoughts became the “safe way out”—- to reject others before they could abandon me. Nothing can happen to me without my consent. I set up all those “traumas” for the specific lesson to learn that I have choice in how I react or feel about any experience. If I look at my past story—- I can look with Love and see every form of fear and guilt was a call for love or help. I can see that I was not a victim of an antiquated hospital system nor an uncaring mother. I was not a victim of abandonment. These thoughts were chosen by the fearful mind that wanted to project it’s belief in guilt that it abandoned God and did not want God.
And now, I forgive the dream story that I made.  I forgive the actor(s).  I forgive my foolish thoughts of fear. 
I have never been harmed, never rejected, never alone.

LESSON 247.

Without forgiveness I will still be blind.
W-247.1. Sin is the symbol of attack. 2 Behold it anywhere, and I will suffer. 3 For forgiveness is the only means whereby Christ’s vision comes to me. 4 Let me accept what His sight shows me as the simple truth, and I am healed completely. 5 Brother, come and let me look on you. 6 Your loveliness reflects my own. 7 Your sinlessness is mine. 8 You stand forgiven, and I stand with you.
W-247.2. So would I look on everyone today. 2 My brothers are Your Sons. 3 Your Fatherhood created them, and gave them all to me as part of You, and my own Self as well. 4 Today I honor You through them, and thus I hope this day to recognize my Self.

~~~Thank you Holy Spirit, please continue.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

Incentive of Hope

Dear Everyone,

Recently I have been reading “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. In this book she records her experience of an unusual type of stroke at the age of 37. Seeing how her recovery spanned 4-8 years, I was able to put my spinal cord experience in perspective.
I had been feeling defeated by the absence of fast recovery from the 2nd transverse myelitis episode. I compared it to the rapid recovery I had had the first time.
I had been thinking that I would never get my abilities back.

But reading of Jill’s experience, of her work and desire to be fully functioning again, that her recovery took several years, means that my recovery is not impossible. It means that I must be patient with my body, with my mind. I need only keep practicing the exercises to strengthen the weak muscles. For the last 10 months my focus has been on the body and its functions. With the 2nd episode of T.M.,  I felt frustrated. I denied that I had made up this repeated dream. I felt betrayed, and did not trust my Inner Voice. And I felt guilt as I knew I had not been consistent in my listening or spending time with Holy Spirit, to give up the thoughts that plagued me. In my unwillingness, I was stuck. The dream of separation seemed very real to me.

In the back of my mind, there remained the idea that this situation was not God’s Will for me. I could change my mind and stop wallowing in the puddle of self pity
(I’m a victim role). To help me remember the truth about us, I joined with another minister in a Miracles Studies program. Together we remember that minds are joined,
all are in Care of God. That bodies are only symbols of the insane wish to be alone, or independent. To be reminded that this dream of forgetting was over long ago,
and eventually I will fully remember that I (we) have never left our Creator, and He never left us.

With the incentive of hope, I’ve rekindled the spark of love. I have trust returning to my mind. I have willingness to practice not deciding anything on my own. I have willingness to
ask Holy Spirit for insight about my thoughts and then acceptance of His knowing. The transformation that I really want is not for the body….. the transformation of my mind
is my true desire.
I never can do this alone. I need only ask and He will answer. I practice in letting go of the drama, the upsets, the comparing, the slight irritations, the frustration.
I return to peace within my mind. In peace I rest, and am restored. The peace of God is in me now …… it was never gone. Just obscured by images I have thought were real, were important.
I thank Holy Spirit for His insights and His constant love. I thank my brothers for every opportunity to see the Light in them.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

Values

Dear Everyone,  these thoughts came to me in relation to denying illness of the body.

   
Spirit: You can deny illusions with Holy Spirit’s help. If you try to deny illusions on your own, you will not succeed, because you will not see the illusion as false.
If you are unwilling to change your mind, the error cannot be released. You will not “heal” the illusion while your believe you are a body. Saying that the body is an illusion does not undo the thought that maintains the body is real. If you surround yourself with things for comfort, you have forgotten to ask, “What is this for?” Does it help you to let go of false ideas? Or does it symbolize a step closer to truth/ Real Self?

Anything you value in your dream cannot lead away from the dream. Remember the questions of the purpose of any valued thing or idea. Does this thing last forever? (Time can never take away a value that is real.) Have you taken something away from someone else? This holds the belief that he can not have everything, which means that you have not recognized that everything is yours. What you deny to your brother you deny yourself.
Then ask yourself: “What loss can there be for me in choosing not to value nothingness?” (This world holds nothing you really want.)
All the things that the insane idea would have you keep, is but another link in the chain that binds your mind. Each piece prevents the light from entering.
Return to peace, let your mind rest in the stillness of Love. You remain as Love created you, and no dream of separation can change you or alter the truth.
Rest in Love, and know that everything is given you as is the Love/Will that created you one with It.

Holy Child, you cannot suffer loss for all has been given you. When you chose to value what is nothing, you deny that all was given you. The ego traps you in illusion with pieces that glitter and thoughts of specialness to conceal the guilt. You choose fear or love, war or peace. Ask H.S. for correct perception. Admit that you are mistaken and no longer want the false to replace the true. 
As you realize that every piece holds you in prison, you will not accept the gifts of nothing that the ego offers. In all the saving or valuing of worldly things,
do you yet feel safe or loved or worthy? Punish yourself no more, free your mind from prison and pain.  (I will not value what is valueless.)

[Later morning} When you do not feel safe (which is only the ego perception of losing it’s position). When you do not feel safe you have mistaken the body for yourself. This mistaken choice can be healed. When you heal, it means that you have let go of some false idea, wrong perception, or guilt. To let go of guilt is to love your self.  When you love your self, you know that you are safe.

When you love your self, there is no difficultly in letting go of illusions. With love you easily recognize the false and feel no threat or loss in releasing illusions. In loving your self you forgive the dream. You recognize the nothingness of egoic thoughts and lay them down. Take my hand when you feel uncertain, for I am with you in all things, in every dream. You are deprived of nothing.
All that has value is the eternal. All that is not eternal has no meaning or value.

When you feel a stab of guilt it is sure that you have tried to make some dream form real or valuable to you.   
You feel unworthy of the eternal and you attempt to forget the unworthiness by getting and keeping things in dream form.   
You have forgotten that it is your dream and things in the dream are manipulated by you. People, objects, desires, come and go at your demand.
What you value you will see in the dream. And what the egoic mind values will weigh you down.       
This is why you must ask, “What is this for?” Does it remind you of the eternal? Or does it reinforce the error of separation thought?

When you choose to spend any moment with me, I will remind you of the eternal, and of the truth which dwells in you and the strength that upholds you.
Your choice in the dream simply reflects what you want to be real. If you are fearful, it is because you think your choice has condemned you.
You think that God will retaliate for your choice to be independent.
If you are joyful, you have released the dream images, allowing understanding and truth to return in your mind (awareness).
Forgive the dreamer and you are free.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

To Be Whole

Dear Friends in Spirit, I recently was given the following thoughts…..

Spirit: To be holy means you are holy. You are whole. Complete.
When you feel loss or that you lack something within, you are deluded. You’ve mistaken some lack thought as real.

You are whole because you are where God created you. You are whole because you abide in the Mind that thought of you. You are, right now, all that you seek for… … but will not find in illusions. You must seek only where you will find, and that is in your mind. That is where Holy Spirit waits in faith and understanding, ready to give all to you.
You may deceive your self, but this will never change the truth. You may choose to wander on strange or attractive paths, but this never changes your destination nor your Home. You simply give yourself lessons about what is valuable and what is fallible.
The ego dictates that when you change things in your world, that this will bring happiness. Change the outer to bring value and merit to you. It never instructs you to change your thought or your mind about anything, for it is certain that it is right. Yet, it leads only away from truth.

Me: In my insanity, I believe there is a world of form. I “see” what I want to be real. Why would I choose separation to be real? There is no special love here, no power of my own, no treasure great.  There is no angry, punishing God that I need to hide from, nor bargain with.    I play with imaginary figures, in a dream scenes, that I change at the slightest whim. None of it has any meaning. My mind is sick. Only in my willingness to “see, hear, & speak” differently will this mind be healed.
As I learn to heal, will I be healed.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

A Dream of Dying?

Dear Everyone,
I share a sleeping dream I recently experienced. I loved the lesson that I received at the conclusion.
(Names have been changed to keep the innocent, innocent!) 
   
At the beginning of this, I was returning a check that mom had written, and I had noticed something “wrong” with it; some how it had been tampered with, so that it would not have payed the bill that it was intended for. I explained to her, that she needed to be more attentive when she wrote out her checks.
I then intended to get ready and go to work (a large magazine printing company). The dream then slipped between two scenarios; one in which I was the wife, calling the work place that my husband was late for, and that due to his absence, the “job” had gone to someone else. The other was that I was the husband.

My (the form of Mary) not being at the work place, and subsequent “demotion” led me to think that I no longer was employed by the company.
I left, feeling that I was free to follow another path.
I ran into Junie, and she suggested that I go with her on a trip she had planned. I agreed. We then went to see Sally and Bill, as Sally had spent time in Thailand and knew the customs and other details that would be helpful. Then it seemed that she would join our expedition. Junie then said she would meet us in Hawaii (in-route).

I shortly discovered that my ‘ex’ husband (Sam) was looking for me…. I had been a philandering wife, and now he chose to take revenge for my infidelity. Bill and Sally were with me, as I went through clothes to pack. (Bill was mostly sitting back, watching us). I noticed a movement outside, and realized that Sam was there. I told Bill and Sally to leave the apt. and heard Bill say: “easy there, easy Sam,” as he went up the stairs.  (This place had two floors, with bed rooms on the lower level.)
I placed my back against the wall near the entrance, feeling fears. I slid to a sitting position on the wall to wait. Sam would not instantly see me when he entered, letting his eyes get adjusted to the light. I knew that he had flipped out—insane—and I had no inclination to try to talk with him, to have him change his mind.  I just assumed that this was my end.
I wanted to “go to” God.
I began silently repeating: “let me remember You.” When he turned and saw me, he vented his anger and justifications for his grievances. He pointed the gun to my head and said, “die, bitch.”

I had shut my eyes to stay focused on my “mantra.”  Part of my mind (ego?) wanted to wake from the dream, the other part wanted to know the “end.”  (end of dreaming)
So I waited, heard the word “bang” in my mind. Nothing else seemed to change or come to awareness.

I then asked what was I to learn in this lesson?  Spirit: See the innocence in everything.
See the innocence in everything and you will see innocence in your self.  Then: <u>God’s Son is guiltless.</u>
I repeated “God’s Son is guiltless over and over” (or heard it over and over).

Whether I play the antagonist or the victim, God’s Son is guiltless. It does not matter what role I play out—
I am guiltless, my brother is guiltless. God’s Son is guiltless.
There is no reason, no cause for guilt. God’s Son has never left his Father.
God’s Son abides in perfect peace knowing Who he is and where he is. There is no fear in him.
He knows His Father and no other thought, idea, or image has replaced the Son’s knowing of All That Is.

How healed I would be if I would integrate completely, the “lesson,” God’s Son is guiltless, that Spirit gave me.
It has given me a profound sense of peace, well-being, and gratitude. Now, to assimilate that idea is my one goal.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Mary Manke.

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