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A Peace Message

A Peace Message

Peace in our world seems to be more and more elusive. It is a frightening situation. My first reaction is denial. I try not to think about it, and try instead to pretend that all is well. I don?t have anyone close to me in Iraq and I don?t watch news, so it is easier to stay in denial.

The worst part about what is happening today is the feeling of having no control. The people who are making the decisions don?t ask my opinion and don?t seem to care what I think. They are feeding the fear which drives the need to attack and defend. Most of the time I think it is because those in charge are driven by their own fear, and in my more paranoid moments I am afraid their motives are centered around power and financial gain.

There is little I can do to influence the decisions of those in power other than to write my congressman and let him know that I am for peace and that I vote. But, that doesn?t mean there is nothing I can do to promote peace. I can choose peace on a personal level. If I wait until the world feels peaceful to experience peace in my life, I have a long wait. The world isn?t about peace. In fact, it is about the very opposite. The world is about separation, which fosters conflict and chaos. 

In our separated state, every one is in conflict with everyone else in one way or another. We are constantly drawing a line in the sand. I live on this side of the bridge, they live on the other side. I am from Louisiana. This makes me different from those in other states. I want my congressman to put my needs ahead of those who live elsewhere. I am from the south, they are from the north. I draw another imaginary line in the sand where I perceive my country ends, and theirs begins. I differentiate myself by gender, by skin color, by culture. Every way I describe myself in some way excludes someone else.

Every time we foster separation, we are sacrificing peace.  Our only hope for peace is Unity. Instead of looking for ways to make different, look for ways we are the same. Forget where I was born. Forget what language I speak, where I went to school, what kind of work I do. None of that means anything. None of that is going with me when I leave this life. All that I will take with me is what God created. All I will take with me is my Spirit, and in Spirit, we are the same; we are one. In our oneness there is only peace. So, one way I can foster peace is by looking past all that insignificant stuff and seeing in you only what is real.

In the end, peace is a personal issue. I look around at all that is happening and I think that peace is beyond my grasp. So much of what I see suggests anything but peace. I have a problem, I solve the problem, and another problem pops up. The problems will always be here. If I intend to wait until they are all solved in order to experience peace, I can just save myself the disappointment and give up now.  But I can have peace, not because I have solved my problems, but in spite of my problems. How I feel about what is happening in my life is up to me. If I feel anxious and frightened; if I have given my peace away, I can choose again. I can choose peace. You can choose peace. We can choose peace, you and I, regardless of what seems to be happening all around us.

To make this work, we have to decide that the peace of what God is what we want; that the peace of God is all we want. Once we make that decision, it is only a matter of practicing peace until the decision for peace has become so much a part of our consciousness that we choose it automatically in every circumstance. I choose peace. My decision in this area has been made, and I feel the support of Heaven in my decision. I know that peace is possible on a personal level, and as this choice spreads to other people, the way we see our world will change. Eventually, through the weight of many, many individual decisions for peace, our world will begin to mirror heaven rather than hell.

Now that I have chosen peace, how do I practice it? First, I understand that I strengthen what I support with my belief. So I am very careful what thoughts I entertain. If I feel a loss of peace, I know that my thoughts are about war, instead of peace. I try to follow my feelings to the thoughts that caused them and then to the beliefs that foster those thoughts. For instance, the other day I was reading the paper and came across something that President Bush said which caused me to feel angry. I stopped and asked the Holy Spirit to look with me at this. My anger signaled me that I had lost my peace. What caused it? What were the thoughts that triggered this loss?

I see that I was thinking I disagreed with what the President said. I thought he was making a mistake. I wondered if he cared about all the young men and women whos lives he was responsible for. I felt powerless to change what he says and does, and yet I will be very much affected by his actions.  No wonder I had lost my peace. Unless I deliberately go through this process, I simply feel anger and loss of peace, but am unaware of the thoughts that brought these feelings on. OK, I see my thoughts pretty clearly. Now what? I ask the Holy Spirit to help me get to the belief behind the thoughts.

The Holy Spirit helped me to see that I was feeling so threatened because I believe that I am weak and vulnerable. The reason I feel like that is because I think I am on my own, that I chose this state by denying God His Fatherhood. I literally turned my back on God, and now think He is mad at me, and has left me to fend for myself. God created me like Himself, but now I have turned the tables (in my deluded mind, at least) and have created Him to be like myself. I have given Him an ego with which to be offended, and so see Him reacting in the same way I would react. I see God as leaving me weak and vulnerable, without the power He created me with, as punishment for my choices.

I am free to continue to believe this if I want. God will not force me to accept His Love. He will not force me to see things differently, to accept that His Love is unconditional. However, I can invite the Holy Spirit into my mind and ask that He heal my thoughts, and He will. That is His joy and His purpose. He will never fail to respond to the slightest welcoming on my part. My invitation to healing is celebrated in Heaven.

As the Holy Spirit heals my thoughts, I feel the peace of God envelope me like a warm blanket on a cold night. As my mind is soothed, I become aware that He invites me to see President Bush as God sees him. I am able to see Bush and his assistants as the children of God that they are. I see that they are doing the best that they can. I am grateful that I am not in their place, and that the hard decisions are not mine to make. Through this healing, I am able to back away from my self declared war, and to live my life in peace.

So, I have taught myself to be aware of my feelings. I have followed those feelings to my thoughts. I have looked with the Holy Spirit at some of the beliefs behind those thoughts. I have invited the Holy Spirit to heal my mind, and He, of course, has responded to my call. Does this mean that I am through? Does this mean that I will never have another unpeaceful moment? Well, maybe, but probably not. It will probably take some practice to make this state of mind permanent for me. No problem; I will have many opportunities to practice.

Another thing I have learned is, I cannot compartmentalize my beliefs. If I want peace in one part of my life, I cannot practice war in another part. If someone makes me angry in my day to day life, and I decide to make my anger real and justified, I will lose my peace. Here is the thing; I cannot lose my peace a little; I cannot lose my peace in part of my life and keep it in another. If I give up my peace at all, I am not in peace. So, when I committed to the idea of putting peace first, I did so with the realization that it was a total commitment. I choose peace in every situation.

This seemed overwhelming at first. I couldn?t imagine how I would do it. And by myself, I could not. But, I am not by myself. I have the help of Heaven. I have the help of the Holy Spirit. I am guided and I am strengthened and I am healed. All I have to do is remember to ask, and give all the willingness I can muster to my acceptance of the help offered.

When I heard that my daughter,Susan would not be with me for Christmas, I lost my peace. I felt so sad. I felt a lot of anxiety. I worried about how she would handle it. I wanted it to be someone?s fault so I could project these uncomfortable feelings outward and get the temporary illusion of being rid of them, but I couldn?t think who to blame. I reasoned with myself about this, telling myself that it is just another day, and that she made the mature choice to stay and work instead of giving into her feelings of homesickness. But nothing made me feel better. I was not a peace. I was in conflict. I was at war. I started to notice that I was feeling tired. These emotions were draining my energy. I was also losing interest in the Christmas season. I wasn?t offering blessings to others with my actions, often not even offering a smile, the simplest gift of all. I began to look at my work as a burden I wanted to just get through even though this is usually my favorite time of the year at work. I knew that I had given up my peace with Susan not coming home, and by giving up my peace in this one area of my life, loss of peace had spread through the rest of my life like a rampant virus, eating up my happiness.

I remembered my commitment to peace and so took all these feelings and these thoughts to God. He reminded me that I was equating Susan with her body which can, indeed, be separate from mine, but that she is not her body. In spirit we are one in God, and cannot be separate. In God there is no space and no time. Through the Holy Spirit, I began to experience my connection with Susan and to feel the same love I felt when I held her as tiny baby in my arms. That love cannot be lost and cannot be taken from me by distance.

I regained my peace, and that peace spread to the rest of my life and touched everyone in my life. Just as they could feel my unease even though they may not recognize it for what it was, they could now feel my peacefulness. Peacefulness is of God and so it is strong, and it is extended, from one to the next. We accept it into our lives, and this makes it available to others who come into our lives. Peacefulness is attractive. When we see it in someone else, we want it for ourselves. This is how we spread peace.

I have talked about how I have lost my peace over what politicians are saying and doing; over war with other countries, and because Susan couldn?t come home for Christmas. The temptation is to put these in order of importance. Going to war with another country seems far more important than Susan missing Christmas at home. But, to my peace of mind, one is just as important as another. This is because if I lose my peace, I?ve lost my peace. It doesn?t matter why I gave it up, it is gone. So, in that way, all things that I allow to disrupt my peace are the same, and have the same solution.

In order to regain my peace I only need to take the un-peaceful thought, whatever it is, to the Holy Spirit for healing. With the Holy Spirit?s help, I will change my mind. No thought is harder to change than any other. If it seems harder, it is only because I am choosing not to change my mind. I am choosing to hold onto the thought. Once I release my resistance to changing my mind, I can regain my peace. It is never any harder than this, and never any easier.

So, this is what I have learned about peace. If I want peace for my country, for my planet, I must first choose peace for myself. Peace is a personal choice. It is a matter of looking at my thoughts with the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to heal all those thoughts that do not foster peace. It is about rejecting separation thoughts and choosing to see our oneness instead.  My peace will be attractive to others and they will want it for themselves. This chain of peace will gather strength as more join it. The combined choice for personal peace will bring peace to our world. My responsibility is to choose peace for myself. With God?s help, I can do this.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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MY WANTING IS A WALL BETWEEN ME AND HEAVEN

Sometimes I feel like there is a wall between myself and Heaven. The wall is made up of stones that are my wanting. What do I want? What do I think I want that is more than Heaven? My ego provides me with a wide array of “things” that catch my attention. The world is full of distractions. That is what it is for. When I see these things and think they are out of my reach, they become compelling, and I give my time and effort to attaining them.

When I first thought I might like to remove the wall, I tried to move the stones one at a time, and they were heavy and awkward. When I learned to seek help from the Holy Spirit, the bricks seemed to become lighter, and easier to move. Sometimes, I would take one down only to put it back in place because my desire to release it wasn’t complete. So it has been slow going.

I am starting to think, though, that the stones are not heavy at all. In fact, they are starting to feel ethereal. Instead of the Holy Spirit helping me to lift and move them, we are beginning a different process. He is teaching me to see through the stone wall. He is showing me how insubstantial it really is. The stones are an illusion. I think they are solid and heavy only because I want them to be solid and heavy. As I change my mind about that, I begin to think I can walk right through that wall. Right now I am still afraid to do it, but I am willing to release my fear. I invite the Holy Spirit into my mind and ask that He heal my fear thoughts.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A True Christmas Gift

I love Christmas. I love that we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday. I love the giving and receiving of gifts. But when I think about it, I realize that every day is a holy day because it is filled with gifts for me. Each person I meet today gives me the opportunity to love him or her completely. If I choose to take advantage of this opportunity, I will be given the gift of feeling completely loved. It is the law of giving and receiving. As I give, so shall I receive.

I don’t always give and receive wisely. I was thinking about something that happened when I was married. I wanted to buy something for my son at Christmas, but I knew if I asked Greg about it, he would say no. So, I didn?t want to ask. I just decided to buy what I wanted. It cost too much money and I felt guilty. It felt dishonest, and like a betrayal. It also expressed a depressing lack of trust in God as my Source, so I felt guilty for not having faith. I didn?t like this feeling, so I decided it wasn’t my fault.

All those feelings of guilt and betrayal felt so bad, I wanted them out of me so I just spewed them all over Greg. This is called projection. I projected the guilt and betrayal out of me and onto Him. Now I could imagine he was the one who was guilty and had betrayed me. Whew! That?s better. I prefer all that stuff be outside my self.

You might wonder how I managed to make this his fault. I decided that if he were a more loving father he would have wanted Toby to have this gift. If he were not so selfish and self centered he would have been ready to sacrifice for his child. After all, wasn?t I prepared to sacrifice? I must be the better parent. When you really look at it, I am the good guy here, and he?s the one who is wrong. My only option is to be sneaky, underhanded and dishonest. He made me do it. It?s all his fault. I have every right to act in my own best interest and every right to blame him for putting me in this position.

Wow! Am I clever, or what? I was able to completely exonerate myself from my bad behavior and at the same time place the blame outside myself. And, putting it outside me was the whole point. I think that if I project it out of me, I have gotten rid of it. It doesn?t actually work, though. It seems to be on him, but it remains in me, (remember the rule of giving; what you give you receive?) where it is now hidden and grows in the dark out of sight. It builds up and gathers other sins to it until I finally think there is no hope for me, leaving me believing I am a sinner, dark and evil, but no longer remembering why this is true.

This was an example of choosing to listen to the little ego voice in me. This voice always directs me against God. It is the part of me that thinks I betrayed God and it is very afraid of God. My ego self wants only to stay in this delusional state where, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, thinks it is safely hidden from God. It plays the same projection game with God, placing the blame for this sorry state of affairs on Him, by reasoning that it must be God?s fault that we are separated; that God is angry with me and wants retribution for all my imagined sins.

I don?t have to listen to the ego?s voice. I have two voices in me, because regardless of the ego version of things, God never left me. He placed His Voice, the Holy Spirit, in me so that I could always find my way back home to Him. I can decide for God. I can choose to listen to the Voice for God. I bring my anger and frustration about the gift to God. I tell Him the whole story; how I want this for Toby, how I know Greg will veto it, how angry I feel about this, how frustrated and trapped. I know there is another way to see this, and I ask the Holy Spirit for His vision.

This is hard to do at first, because I can?t imagine how a different outcome would be better. I have convinced myself that my happiness and the happiness of my son depend on the outcome. So, I start out by telling God what His answer should be, and then wait to have my desires granted. When that brought me no peace, I finally gave up. I was tired of feeling miserable and I wanted peace, so I told the Holy Spirit that I was ready to listen to Him. It was like I had unlocked the flood gates in my mind, and new ways of seeing this came pouring through.

I saw that I had decided in my own mind how Greg would react. I then reacted to my version of circumstances as if they had actually happened. He might, after all, decide with me on this, that Toby should have this gift. I might be robbing him of an opportunity to express his generosity.

I also saw that I had decided that Toby needed this particular gift. I made it such a big deal that I had lost sight of the fact that I didn?t even know for sure he wanted it. I saw that even if he wanted it, if I bought him something I couldn?t afford, I would be teaching him that things are important, more important than people and relationships. I would be teaching him that one more present is all he needs to make him happy.
 
These thoughts are not radical and I don?t know why I didn?t think of them before. I think it must have been that the power of my wanting was a like a clog in the floodgate. It was so firmly set in my mind that I needed this gift that nothing else could get past it. When I finally wanted something else more (that is, my peace of mind), the passage way to other thoughts was opened, and they came flooding in. Suddenly, I could see that projecting my fears onto someone else wasn?t the way to be rid of them. It was much more effective to look at these thoughts in the light and to allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see them.

There are so many opportunities to bring my everyday life to God. Sometimes life seems so complicated.  It seems there are endless choices to make and endless variations to decide from. In truth, there are only two choices; I can choose to listen to my ego, or I can choose to listen to God. I will know which I chose by how that choice makes me feel. If I choose God, I will feel joy and peace. Any other emotions indicate that I have chosen wrongly. Of course, as I become aware of the error, I am always free to choose again.

Dan Joseph, who wrote “Inner Healing”, spoke of love as a free flowing river that runs through all of life. I don?t have to do anything to keep the river flowing. Flowing is what it does. However, there are things I can do to slow down or block the natural flow of love. I can choose against God by choosing against love. I know I have done this when I feel anger or fear or guilt. With each wrong choice, it is as if I placed a boulder in the river and now I am getting only a trickle instead of the strong flow I had before. It doesn?t mean that the river dried up and ceased to exist, but that I blocked its flow and am no longer aware of it. If it stays blocked long enough, I forget that it was ever available to me.

It happens as it did when I projected my unloving feelings onto Greg. I felt guilty about what I was doing, even when I didn?t consciously think about it. While I felt guilty, I didn?t feel loving toward him. I was too busy making him the bad guy to love him. Can you imagine how this might have played out? I have now convinced myself he is a selfish, self centered person who is intent on ruining my Christmas and my son?s Christmas. Do you think I could treat him in a loving way? Could I afford to feel love coming from him?

If I allowed myself to feel his love, I would have to reassess my reasoning around the Christmas gift, and then I might have to acknowledge my guilt and all my carefully constructed projections would be undone. So plop, another rock dropped into the stream, blocking my awareness of the endless flow of God?s love.

So, my job is to undo my blocks to love. If I choose to listen to the Voice for God, I could start doing this. I could see a new possibility and approach Greg with my intentions. Perhaps he would hear my reasoning and decide with me. Or perhaps he would, indeed, recognize that it is an extravagant gift we cannot afford, and veto the idea. But now, without the ego?s voice to muddy the waters, I see his point and recognize there are other gifts that will work as well and be better all the way around. I have removed the boulder from the stream and love flows freely.

I gave Toby a great Christmas gift that year, but no matter how terrific a gift is, it is just a thing, a material object with no real meaning outside what we give it. It has no lasting value of itself.  There was a true Christmas gift, though. It was the one I gave myself, and by extension, my family. This was the gift of love. I chose God when I chose to listen to the Voice for God over the ego’s voice. I chose love. I chose peace. Those are real Christmas gifts.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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