Together, We Light the Way

Click link to go to:
Together We Light the Way Index

WHAT IS IT FOR?

In this dream I think of as my life, there are many little dramas playing out. If I am living unconsciously, I think that they are just happening to me; that I am a victim of other people, of my environment, and let?s be honest, I think I am a victim of God. My unconscious lament becomes, ?Why me, God??

As I begin the process of awakening from this dream, I start questioning what everything is for. What if the dramas in my life did not simply appear there out of nowhere? What if there is a divine purpose, behind everything in my life? What if I knew that life would bring to me every experience I need to awaken me to my true identity? How would that change my perception of life, and how would that new perception change the way I choose to live?

As I begin to ask that all important question, ?What is it for?? I am starting to see my life in an entirely new way. The answer to that question is always that everything in my life is there to help me wake up from the dream. It is there to remind me of who I am in God. It is there to bring me back to my Father.

Knowing this is true, I see things differently than I used to. Life becomes simpler. So, how does this look in my life? I am going to use an example from my last marriage. While I was in the last years of that marriage (which was filled with drama) I had begun to think of the man I married as my enemy. He seemed to be dead set on making my life as miserable as possible. He was very controlling, and completely unwilling to see things differently. Worse, I felt trapped in the relationship, unable to extricate myself, and equally unable to make it better.

It was not until I had finally left the relationship that I began to get some clarity about it. By this time I had learned to ask that all important question, ?What is it for?? Because I had so many years of history in this relationship, it seemed like a very complicated issue, and took awhile for me to get clear on it.

I began to see that I had assigned some roles for this man to play out for me, and had decided that my happiness depended on his compliance. When he didn?t live up to those expectations and didn?t fill my perceived needs, I felt threatened and angry. We endured many dramas around these disappointed expectations. He had the same thing going on with him, and so we had dramas around his expectations as well. I thought all this was about unmet needs, and so we were on a merry-go-round, experiencing the same dramas over and over, getting nowhere; accomplishing nothing. Even when we seemed to have reached some kind of compromise, neither of us was happy and something else just popped up.

Our relationship seemed to be for establishing our victimhood. I felt victimized by him when he wouldn?t comply with my needs and I felt trapped in the situation. It felt like it was his fault that I was so miserable. He began to feel like my jailer. The whole thing seemed unsolvable, and just too complicated to even figure out.

When I was finally able to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and help and I was led to the question that needed answering, I began to see things so differently. What we were experiencing in that relationship wasn?t what it seemed to be. The answer to the question was that this relationship was for our spiritual joining. It was for our growth, and for our return to God. Understanding this, I see that we were not antagonists, but rather we were helpmates in the truest sense. Through our relationship, we brought into our lives the opportunity to learn forgiveness and love, which will bring us both closer to our true selves, and closer to recognizing our place in God.

Seeing this, I immediately recognized that I was not a victim in this, but a co-conspiritor with Greg. Together we were conspiring to create a holy relationship. Greg ceased to appear to me as an enemy, and became the bearer of gifts. All the dramas of our marriage, now seen through the filter of our sacred purpose, took on a new look. I could now see that our marriage was a stage to play out our lessons. And I can now honestly say that I am so grateful to him for the chance to learn with him.

Being able to answer the question, ?What is it for?? helped me to shift my perception. And with new vision provided by this shift, I see the whole marriage differently. I was not the victim, but the observer and the student. I was not locked in mortal combat with my enemy, but was learning to love with my dear brother in Christ. What a difference this new perspective makes! I might say that it is too bad I didn?t figure this out before the marriage ended, but that would fail to take into consideration the whole picture. A relationship does not have to look like a success to have provided the means for learning forgiveness. Greg and I learned what we could from this marriage, and that makes the relationship perfect.

I read something the Buddha said, and I apologize to him for any errors I make in interpretation. What I read went something like this: Act as if everyone in the world except for you is enlightened. They are all here to bring you gifts to help you become enlightened. How does this work in my life?

Again, it is just a matter of asking what everything is for. If someone disagrees with me about something, I can see that person as my enemy, or I can understand that the person is my brother bringing me the gift of enlightenment. Now I am free from being the victim. I am free from the depressing job of making her wrong and in justifying my anger. Instead, I am free to look for the gift. I am free to see her as the enlightened being she truly is behind the disguise of enemy.

Without guilt, anger, and fear clouding my mind, I can easily see that whatever is happening, the answer is always forgiveness. In forgiveness I return to love and to peace. I return to God. I remind myself that forgiveness has nothing to do with seeing anyone wrong. It has nothing to do with pardoning a wrong. It is all about knowing that my brother could never be wrong, and if that is true about my brother, it is true about me. So forgiveness is seeing the innate innocence in everyone. It is in this innocence that I find my place in God.

So what if I am in disagreement with someone I know, and I have asked for a new way to see the situation, and my prayer is answered as it always is.  I am no longer angry or upset with her, but what if she is still upset with me? How am I supposed to handle that? As I ponder this question, it occurs to me that in order for love to be love it must be unconditional, and if I need her to love me back I have just put a condition on it. Why not forget about who loves me, and just focus on loving the innocent being that my brothers are. Life becomes very simple when you know what it is for.

So that telemarketer who called me during supper and acted like I was the one with a problem when I didn?t want to talk to her is not wrong. She is not in error. She is just a messenger from God bringing me an opportunity to remember our innocence. Yes, even telemarketers are perfectly innocent. In fact, if the Buddha was onto something, they could all be very enlightened beings, busy, busy helping millions of people become enlightened through forgiveness!

There is an exercise that I use to help me work through the problems I have with seemingly difficult people. If you like, you can join me right now in doing this process. Just think of one person in your life who seems dead set on being a problem for you. It doesn?t matter if it is merely an annoyance, or if they seem to be trying to destroy you. Loss of peace is as total when it is caused by the little things as it is when it is caused by those things we think of as big. It can be an ex spouse, a challenging teenager, a co-worker, even a clerk in your neighborhood store. Think about how you feel when you are with them. Think about the form your conflict takes. Think about the ways you blame them for your frustration, unhappiness, or fear.

OK, that?s enough! It is very easy to get caught up in that part of the exercise and never get past the blame! Now that you have it clear in your mind what is bothering you and how that feels, pretend for a moment that your antagonist is really a messenger from God. Imagine this person smiling at you and telling you how much God loves you and how much He wants you to be happy. He tells you that God sent him to help you learn about your innocence, through learning to see the innocence in him. Does it seem hard, he asks? This is only because you are so close to enlightenment that you are ready for the lessons that feel big. This messenger of God is so happy for you, and so excited for you.

Now imagine your gratitude for him welling up in you and filling your heart. Imagine your excitement at the idea of finally waking up to your true self as God created you. In your joy and appreciation for this person who is helping you, you reach out and hug him. You thank him for his help. You thank him for sharing the awakening process with you.

We end this process with gratitude. Thank you, Holy Spirit for healing this relationship and making it holy. Thank you for showing me the truth of my brother.

The next time you are in disagreement with your brother, or are faced with a difficult person or situation, remember to ask what it is for. The answer will always be that it is for your enlightenment. Knowing this, it becomes easy to forgive the situation or the person, and as you do so, you loosen the hold it has on you, and you experience your freedom and your joy!

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

Tell a friend about this article.

Printable Page

Ordination Address

Because of a family emergency, I was not able to be at the last ordination ceremony at Pathways. I was very sad not to be able to pin my student, Mary Daw. Mary and I have worked so closely during her ministerial studies and have become such good friends. I was really looking forward to being part of her ordination, so I was really glad that she decided to have a ceremony for family and friends back home. Mary asked me to be part of her ceremony and so I spoke to her about being a minister of God, and presented her as Reverend Mary Daw. It was a wonderful moment. I would like to share with you what I said to Mary.

Mary, you are now coming to a new place in your spiritual journey as marked by your ordination. I am so pleased to join you in this celebration of your accomplishments. You have learned so much in the last year, and have grown in a way that is truly inspiring to those of us who have witnessed your transformation. Perhaps it feels like an ending, but let me assure you, it is not an ending, but the beginning of everything.

You have proclaimed yourself to be in service to God. I have said often that all of us are ministers whether we realize it or not. You, however, have consciously and before witnesses, claimed your place among the ministers of God.

Mary, this is not a time for false humility. ?Be not afraid nor timid.? Stand tall, stand proud, and speak the truth given you by the Holy Spirit. The world is hungry for God?s word. There is great need to be reminded that we are His children, and that He loves and cherishes us.

Nor is this the time for arrogance. As ministers it is our job to carry God?s messages, but not to decide what the message is. It is arrogance to think we should decide where to go, what to say and to whom. That is why the minister?s best prayer is, ?I will step back and let Him lead the way.?

It is arrogance masquerading as humility to think that you cannot do what is given you to do. God created you. He knows you as you are. It is not arrogance, Mary to accept yourself as you were created. Whatever it is given you to do, you can do it.

In perfect humility, Mary, know with an absolute certainty that as you step back, He will guide you to be where you are most needed. He will tell you where to go, what to say, and to whom. And in complete humility know that God will always provide the strength to do whatever He needs you to do. In deepest humility, Mary, know that God did not choose you wrongly.

And Mary, don?t for a moment think that in doing God?s work He is asking for sacrifice. God is your Father. He loves you and wants only joy for you. He has given you a function, and in fulfilling that function you will achieve happiness. It could be no other way because your function and your happiness are the same.

Mary, I would like to share with you some things I have learned as a minister that may be helpful to you. As a minister of God we need no defense. As with anyone there will be times when you experience yourself as attacked, and your first reaction may be to defend yourself. But what happens when you defend is that you see yourself as weak. The very act of defense is proclaiming that you are vulnerable, weak and in need of defense. And what you teach yourself, you are teaching your brother. Weakness will never be the message God needs you to share.

Your strength lies in your defenselessness. If someone says to me that I should not be a minister because I am a woman, or if someone questions my authority, or my spiritual path because it is different from their?s, I might want to defend my choices. It can be tempting to argue or reason with them, and try to win them over. But the truth is, I am fulfilling my function as given me by God through His Voice, the Holy Spirit. This needs no defense, nor do I need anyone to agree with me because I am certain in it.

And this is the message God would have me share. I am a child of God, created in His image and after His likeness. I am strong in God. I need no defense, and what is true about me, is true about each of us. God does not play favorites. He loves, equally, all that He created. He shares His strength with all His creations. Mary, let your every word and your every action teach the lesson you want to learn. Teach strength, not weakness. Teach defenselessness.

As ?A Course In Miracles? says, ?We rise up strong in Christ, and let our weakness disappear, as we remember that His strength abide in us. We will remind ourselves that He remains beside us through the day, and never leaves our weakness unsupported by His strength.

I have spoken of a minister as a messenger for God. Being a messenger for God is different than being a messenger for someone you know or work for. Mary, if I asked you to deliver a message to someone, you would simply take the message to that person and give it to them. Then chances are, you would forget all about it. Your life doesn?t change because you did me a favor and delivered a message.

In order to deliver a message for God, however, you must first receive that message, and in receiving it, the gift of the message becomes yours. It is only then that you deliver it. And on giving it you know that it is yours. So for instance, if God places someone in your path who is grieving, you will want to bring him the comfort of your Father. To do this you must first accept God?s comfort as your own. Otherwise, your words will just be words, and will lack conviction. You cannot give what is not yours.

As a minister of God, Mary, you are on a sacred path. All roads lead to God in the end, because, after all, where else is there to go? Most of us have spent our lives taking the long road to God, but you have now chosen to take the straight and narrow path. This is not to say that you will never again wander off course. Certainly I have. Nearly everyday I slip off the path, but like you, I have committed myself to making every effort to stay the course, and with the Holy Spirit?s gentle guidance we will be able to correct our errors and get right back on the path.

And finally, Mary, teach only love for that is what you are. You were created by a God of Love and you can be nothing else. To teach anything else is to confuse yourself about your identity. Teach love with each word that leaves your mouth. Teach love with all your actions. Teach love to remember who you are. Teach love that we might all remember who we are, that is children of Love. Let the light of your love go before you lighting the path for us all.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

Tell a friend about this article.

Printable Page

<< Back to main page of Together, We Light the Way

Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution to support this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution with a credit/debit card, click here.
Click here to donate from your PayPal account.
Or send a check to Pathways of Light, 12530 Lions Chase Court, Huntley, IL 60142.