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Study of the Text 5-2-13

5-2-13
3 Knowing, as we have already observed, does not lead to doing. The confusion between your real creation and what you have made of yourself is so profound that it has become literally impossible for you to know anything. Knowledge is always stable, and it is quite evident that you are not. Nevertheless, you are perfectly stable as God created you. In this sense, when your behavior is unstable, you are disagreeing with God’s idea of your creation. You can do this if you choose, but you would hardly want to do it if you were in your right mind.

The first thing I had to do to really understand this was to become aware of my instability. As I thought about this the word that came to mind was honesty. In the Manual for Teachers there is a section on honesty. In part it says:

“The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.”

I notice that I am closer now to being honest than I used to be. That means I am closer to being the self that God created. (Not that I could actually be anything else, but I am closer to accepting my self as God created me.) But as yet, I am still not honest.

I am not the judgmental person I used to be and yet I judge often. I notice judgmental thoughts in my mind, but instead of instantly believing them I question these thoughts and sooner, or maybe later, let them go. When I remember who I am there will be no temptation to believe judgmental thoughts.

I am learning that pain and suffering and death are not real. Sometimes when I am in pain I remind myself of the truth and the pain fades away. Sometimes when I am in pain I take a pain pill. Sometimes when I am in emotional pain I ask for clarity and the pain subsides or is transformed into joy. Sometimes I ride that train to the end of the line and wallow in self pity for awhile before I finally give it up.

I will be loving, kind and generous to one person, and judgmental, angry or maybe just indifferent to another person, as if one is more or less than another. Making one person special over another is dishonest. I am beginning to see how unstable my thinking and my behavior is and so I see why it is that I don’t know anything, but only perceive.

I am obviously still confused and so am in constant battle with God over my identity. God created me whole and I see myself as separate and different from others. God created me perfect, and I demonstrate daily my imperfections. God created me stable, honest, and all knowing, and there is apparently not one thing I am willing to absolutely know.

The thought that comes to me as I consider this is that there is great value in becoming aware of how unstable my mind is. The other thought is that it will not be helpful to try to change how I think or to control my behavior. This is not healing, but rather an attempt to use self-will to camouflage the belief in my mind. The solution is the Holy Spirit. Now that I am aware of the problem, I give it to the Holy Spirit for correction.

When I notice behavior or thinking that is out of accord with the truth, I put it on the altar. I offer it as a gift to God trusting He knows what to do with it. I accept His answer. In this one way I am becoming consistent. I practice this over and over and am learning to do so with patience and love and without guilt no matter how ugly the thought, or how often I must return with the same thought.

I trust that one day my perceptions will be corrected. One day I will know and there will be no more questions, no more doubts. This will be done, not through my efforts, but according to my desire. God will take that step for me.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-1-13

5-1-13
V. Beyond Perception
1 I have said that the abilities you possess are only shadows of your real strength, and that perception, which is inherently judgmental, was introduced only after the separation. No one has been sure of anything since. I have also made it clear that the resurrection was the means for the return to knowledge, which was accomplished by the union of my will with the Father’s. We can now establish a distinction that will clarify some of our subsequent statements.

Jesus, you said in this paragraph that the return to knowledge was accomplished by the union of your will with the Father’s. Is there anything you want me to know about that?

Jesus: You are confused about what this can mean. You wonder if you have never accepted that your will is the Father’s will because you do not feel anything momentous. This has been done, Myron. I have accepted the Father’s Will as our own. You do not need to do this. When I accomplished this union it was done for all. What you need to do is to allow your perceptions to be corrected to the degree that your mind can come into alignment with this holy Union.

Me: Ahh, I see. Thank you, Brother.

2 Since the separation, the words “create” and “make” have become confused. When you make something, you do so out of a specific sense of lack or need. Anything made for a specific purpose has no true generalisability. When you make something to fill a perceived lack, you are tacitly implying that you believe in separation. The ego has invented many ingenious thought systems for this purpose. None of them is creative. Inventiveness is wasted effort even in its most ingenious form. The highly specific nature of invention is not worthy of the abstract creativity of God’s creations.

What stands out to me in this paragraph is that when I make something it is always out of the belief in lack. I think I need something and this implies separation. When I know who I am I will know there is no lack. There is nothing I could need because I have everything. Obviously, though I am learning differently, I still believe in separation. I still believe I need some things. This will be true for as long as I believe in this bodily identity. For instance, I will need to eat.

So how do I apply this idea now? The first thing that comes to mind is that it is not helpful to try to stop thinking “need” thoughts. I think I need a paycheck next week. I am not going to try to suppress this thought. I cannot stop thinking I need a paycheck. I can, however, realize that paychecks are something that we made to fill a perceived need.

When I think about needing the paycheck it is because I think that if I don’t get one I will not be able to survive. I need it to eat. I need it to buy clothes, pay my mortgage, buy gas for my car, which I need to get from one place to another.. All of these needs are based on ideas I made to support the idea of separation.

I made the need. I made the solution. But no matter how many needs I solve, and no matter how clever I am in doing so, I will always make another need and conceive of another solution. I will never be satisfied. I will never feel safe. I will never feel full. This is because I still believe in lack and loss. The very act of trying to fill that emptiness reinforces the feeling of lack.

So here I am, in this world I made for the purpose of fulfilling a need so great and so deep that I cannot allow my mind to remember the source of this need. I will not make this need go away by filling the hole with more things I make up for that purpose. I will not fill it by thinking of more ingenious thought systems. I will not stop the desire to do this by trying to control this impulse through a separate will, no matter how strong I’ve trained that will to be.

What seems to be working for me is to notice the feelings of neediness. For instance, yesterday I noticed that periodically during the day I would want to be with my kids. I would think of one of them and wonder if they were home from work yet and if I should invite myself over. I examined that feeling and realized it was not coming from love, but from neediness. I thought I needed them to fill the hole in my heart.

I asked Holy Spirit to help me see this differently. I realized that it had to do with the Conference. While I was there I felt a sense of oneness because we were gathered for a single purpose. Now that I am home the feeling of joining was missing. I mistook the hugs and smiles and joy (which were symbols of the feeling of oneness) for Oneness. So I was trying to make a replacement for that feeling by being with my kids and getting the hugs and smiles back.

Of course the solution was not to avoid my children. The solution was to ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perception, to heal my mind of the belief that I lack anything. I cannot be separate from love and separate from oneness. I cannot replace love and oneness by placing myself in close proximity to special people chosen for that purpose.

The Holy Spirit is helping me to remember that I could not be alone. I am part of a whole. That whole is available to me at all times if I do not block it from my awareness through the desire to be separate. A little thing that I am doing that is helping me to remember is this. When I feel lonely I remind myself that loneliness is impossible.

I am surrounded by all that is. My angels and guides, my brothers and sisters in and out of body are all around me all the time. I don’t remember how to feel them, but if I want their presence known to me, they can help me with that. They can make their love known to me. So far what has happened is that when I ask for this reminder, I simply no longer feel lonely or alone. It is a subtle but sweet difference.

Anytime I feel needy and have the desire to fill that need with anything other than God’s Love, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I accept that healing to the best of my ability at this time and know that the desire to remember the truth will bring the truth forward in my mind in perfect timing.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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