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Study of the Text, Chapter 8, II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P 7. 7-31-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P7
7 When I said, “All power and glory are yours because the Kingdom is His,” this is what I meant. The Will of God is without limit, and all power and glory lie within it. It is boundless in strength and in love and in peace. It has no boundaries because its extension is unlimited, and it encompasses all things because it created all things. By creating all things, it made them part of itself. You are the Will of God because that is how you were created. Because your Creator creates only like Himself, you are like Him. You are part of Him Who is all power and glory, and are therefore as unlimited as He is.

I am part of God and are therefore as unlimited as He is. This is what the Course has been trying to tell me all along. It is helping me accept the truth that I am not what I seem in this experience of separation. The reason it is taking so much work for me to accept this is that there is such a huge difference between what I imagine myself to be and my reality.

I actually talked about this very thing this morning when I wrote in my journal for the Daily Lessons. Today’s lesson says that I can call upon God’s Name because it is my own as well. This is what I wrote about it.

I noticed that not only did it say that I could call on the Name of God, but that I can do this because it is my name as well. I noticed that second part today when in the past it didn’t mean anything to me, because today I am more willing to accept my Divinity than I have been before.

This lesson is not just saying that it is always possible to call for help when I need it. It is reminding me that I am God’s Son. Our Name shares the same power because gave me His Name in my creation. I am literally, very literally part of God. Through creation I am an extension of God because that is what creation is, an extension of All That Is. When I call on the name of God, I am calling on my innate power through calling on God, or to say it another way, through remembering what I am and claiming my inheritance.

I’m giggling because this brought to mind a cartoon show I used to watch with my daughter. I don’t remember what it was called, but in a desperate moment the hero would stand tall with his sword reaching to the sky and say in a loud strong voice, “I am the power!” Well, when I call on the Name of God, that is what I am doing. I am calling on the truth and claiming my power as God’s Son. What is the ego beside that!

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Study of the Text, Chapter 8, II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P 6. 7-30-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P6
6 The Holy Spirit’s teaching takes only one direction and has only one goal. His direction is freedom and His goal is God. Yet He cannot conceive of God without you, because it is not God’s Will to be without you. When you have learned that your will is God’s, you could no more will to be without Him than He could will to be without you. This is freedom and this is joy. Deny yourself this and you are denying God His Kingdom, because He created you for this.

Up until now I could not read this paragraph without feeling a twinge of fear and then guilt for the fear. I was afraid of the idea of surrendering to God. There was too much fear and guilt in my mind to be comfortable with the idea of God and I being inseparable. It was just a twinge because I felt fearful that I didn’t want it and so I quickly denied it even in my own mind.

Now I am aware of a twinge of fear but I know it is not me that feels this fear. It is the ego, the part of the mind that believes in separation. I still identify with that part of the mind a bit, but not so much as before. I can now detach myself from it to some degree, and so while I am aware of the ego thoughts and beliefs, for the most part I don’t believe them.

When a separation belief does hook me, I am also aware of what is happening and choose to allow my mind to be corrected, usually pretty quickly. Soon, I think, I will no longer have any use or desire for ego thinking and it won’t happen anymore. Won’t that be nifty! What will it feel like to know the freedom of being one with God? No more insanity. No more fear or guilt. I will continue to master my decision to choose God rather than ego as my true identity.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: II. The Difference Between Imprisonment, P 6. 7-29-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P6
6 The Holy Spirit’s teaching takes only one direction and has only one goal. His direction is freedom and His goal is God. Yet He cannot conceive of God without you, because it is not God’s Will to be without you. When you have learned that your will is God’s, you could no more will to be without Him than He could will to be without you. This is freedom and this is joy. Deny yourself this and you are denying God His Kingdom, because He created you for this.

Up until now I could not read this paragraph without feeling a twinge of fear and then guilt for the fear. I was afraid of the idea of surrendering to God. There was too much fear and guilt in my mind to be comfortable with the idea of God and I being inseparable. It was just a twinge because I felt fearful that I didn’t want it and so I quickly denied it even in my own mind.

Now I am aware of a twinge of fear but I know it is not me that feels this fear. It is the ego, the part of the mind that believes in separation. I still identify with that part of the mind a bit, but not so much as before. I can now detach myself from it to some degree, and so while I am aware of the ego thoughts and beliefs, for the most part I don’t believe them.

When a separation belief does hook me, I am also aware of what is happening and choose to allow my mind to be corrected, usually pretty quickly. Soon, I think, I will no longer have any use or desire for ego thinking and it won’t happen anymore. Won’t that be nifty! What will it feel like to know the freedom of being one with God? No more insanity. No more fear or guilt. I will continue to master my decision to choose God rather than ego as my true identity.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: II. The Difference Between Imprisonment, P 5. 7-28-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P5
5 We have said that the Holy Spirit teaches you the difference between pain and joy. That is the same as saying He teaches you the difference between imprisonment and freedom. You cannot make this distinction without Him because you have taught yourself that imprisonment is freedom. Believing them to be the same, how can you tell them apart? Can you ask the part of your mind that taught you to believe they are the same, to teach you how they are different?

Ego taught me that winning is joy. I learned the lesson well. I was very competitive and I worked hard at winning. I didn’t think about how I made the other person feel as I crowed over my victory. It just seemed perfectly normal to be this way. I justified my behavior as I reasoned that I deserved my win because I worked hard for it.

I reasoned that someone had to win and someone had to lose. Better it was me that won. I believed that if I didn’t win I was not as worthy as the winner. I believed I achieved worthiness according to how well I did in comparison to how poorly others did. When I won, I would feel that adrenalin rush and this is what I called joy. The rush would fade all too quickly and then I would feel let down and so I would go looking for the next victory.

I saw the victories as freedom. If I won often enough and if the stakes were high enough I would be free of this unsettling feeling that I was missing something important. I tried for more money to buy more and better things than my neighbor. I tried for being the best at my job so I looked better than other employees. I tried for the better husband; I took credit when my children won, proving I must be the better parent. I thought that these wins freed me from the nagging feeling that I was unworthy.

Actually, what I discovered is that I can’t win enough, or be better than others often enough, or make enough money or buy enough stuff, to prove my worthiness. I wound up making my own prison of frantic striving and never arriving. I made the prison, stepped into it, and pretended it was my grand achievement. I had to work constantly to keep the whole thing in place, but all that work kept me from questioning my choices, and questioning my plan for happiness and freedom.

Once questioned though, it became apparent that I was failing to accomplish my goals. Yes I won often, but it never made me happy and it never convinced me of my worthiness. All the time, the joke was on me. I was already worthy and joy is my natural state. I don’t have to do anything to acquire freedom and joy, because it was given to me in my creation, never to be lost no matter how confused I became about it.

In fact, all that striving just convinced me I was unworthy. Why would I need to try so hard if I was already worthy? All that winning actually made me feel more separate and alone than ever. And of course, if I think that I must prove my worthiness and strive for my freedom in every moment, I exhaust myself. I am the hamster running on the wheel and getting nowhere, because there is nowhere to go.

Here is what I have discovered about being free and being joyful. I have remembered the truth as I have joined with my brother rather than competing against him. I am free of the constant struggle and the inevitable let-down. I am free of the belief that I need to earn what was given me by my creator. I am free of the crash that comes after the adrenal wears off. I am free of the suffering that is inevitable as I further separate myself from my brother and so separate myself from God.

I have discovered that I am joyful as I take my brother’s hand in mine and share in each victory over ego. I am joyful in each moment, actually, as I accept the truth that we are all innocent and brilliant and perfect, and because this is how we are created, nothing can change this. I am free from change and I am free in my joy. This is true until I slip back into ego again, but now I can’t stand to be there for long, and I know the way out. Oh, freedom! Oh, joy!

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: II. The Difference Between Imprisonment, P 4. 7-25-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P4
4 The ego tries to teach that you want to oppose God’s Will. This unnatural lesson cannot be learned, and the attempt to learn it is a violation of your own freedom, making you afraid of your will because it is free. The Holy Spirit opposes any imprisoning of the will of a Son of God, knowing that the will of the Son is the Father’s. The Holy Spirit leads you steadily along the path of freedom, teaching you how to disregard or look beyond everything that would hold you back.

I don’t want a personal will anymore. I recognize it is not my true desire and I accept that my past desire to have a will separate from God is imprisoning my true will. Because it seems to pit me against God, a separate will makes me feel deeply guilty and guilt causes fear, which is not a happy state nor is it my natural state.

I long for the freedom that is my natural state. For this reason I am vigilant for the ego thoughts I am tempted to believe, and I ask for the Atonement for my wrong minded beliefs. I notice the effects of those thoughts and I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perception. He is teaching me that what I see in the world is meaningless no matter how tempted I am to believe it.

I am learning to look past or beyond everything that would keep me in the world. I am learning to do this with the ego-thinking and with the effects of those thoughts. I see what is before the body’s eyes, but I disregard the meaning of anything that is not an effect of the thoughts I think with God. I am not guilty for what I see, nor is what I see real.

Here is an example. I woke up many times during the night and finally gave up trying to sleep around 4:00 this morning. The ego interprets this to mean that I am going to be tired long before my day is over. It offers me the thought that my mind is not going to be sharp. If I pay attention to the ego, this is what will happen. My mind is very powerful and will faithfully reflect back to me whatever it is that I believe.

I don’t want that kind of day so I am not listening to the ego. There is only one true thought in this scenario; I didn’t get as much sleep as usual and it was not entirely restful. I get to add the meaning this holds. I do so from my right-mind or from my wrong-mind. Out of habit I might fall back on my past choices which were habitual.

I might start to think I am tired and then I will feel this way and act on the feeling. If I do, I will also remember the truth. I give the world all the meaning it has for me, including this, and I can disregard appearances and change my mind about the meaning I give it. My experience has been that as I change my mind, the effects change as well, sometimes in startling ways.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: II. The Difference Between Imprisonment, P 3. 7-18-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P 3
3 The ego cannot teach you anything as long as your will is free, because you will not listen to it. It is not your will to be imprisoned because your will is free. That is why the ego is the denial of free will. It is never God Who coerces you, because He shares His Will with you. His Voice teaches only in accordance with His Will, but that is not the Holy Spirit’s lesson because that is what you are. The lesson is that your will and God’s cannot be out of accord because they are one. This is the undoing of everything the ego tries to teach. It is not, then, only the direction of the curriculum that must be unconflicted, but also the content.

We have imprisoned our will through our desire for self-will, and that was a misconceived plan on our part. I doubt we meant to be imprisoned, but however it occurred we are not trapped. We have a way out. As long as we continue to listen to the ego thoughts in the mind and to believe these thoughts we will remain imprisoned. However, we also have the thoughts we think with God in our mind and we can choose to give our attention to those thoughts instead. This is the key to the prison we built and it is in our own hands.

The thoughts we think with God are the only true thoughts in our mind. When we give them our attention we are letting go of the idea of a personal will and embracing our true will which is the will we share with God. We are returning our mind to Reality and thus to sanity, and with sanity, to peace and joy. This decision to be the Divine Beings that we are is up to us. We will not be coerced.

In one of my favorite passages in the Course (Chapter 8, Section IV) Jesus says this: “If you want to be like me I will help you, knowing that we are alike. If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind.” In this passage I see both the gentleness of Spirit and the inevitability of my return. I decide how long I want to remain the little self I have made and I decide when I want to wake up and remember what I am.

The Voice for God is in my mind to help me wake up when I am ready, and until then it speaks softly to me of Love. It never coerces, it never forces. As Jesus goes on to say in that section of the Course, God’s Kingdom is freedom and freedom cannot be learned by tyranny of any kind.

Like most students of the Course, I have experienced the frustration of wanting freedom, but being unwilling and even afraid, to accept it. I have wished that Jesus would just yank me out of my story and be done with it. This will never happen, of course, because we are equal in will, being the Will of God. Jesus says that this is the only lesson he came to teach. Could it be so easy? Could we simply wake up because we want to?

The only thing that stands in our way is our own willfulness and the guilt and fear that this willfulness engenders. I seemed to have needed to approach God very cautiously. I did so with a lot of Heavenly support and reassurance. I have looked at and chosen against many forms of guilt and fear. In doing so I have come to realize that all of it is unreal. Every form of guilt and fear I have looked at with the Holy Spirit has been of my own making. The world I see has been smoke and mirrors every time I have looked without the filter of my desire for a personal will.

I have mostly stopped wanting the process to go faster. I have stopped trying to use the ego to wake up. Now I am simply doing what the Holy Spirit puts before me. I see fear or guilt in any of the ego guises and I ask Spirit to correct my perception. I listen to His Voice. I write what I hear. I share. I forgive. I love. I wait for the moment of readiness knowing it is inevitable. I can’t make myself wake up; that kind of effort is just another expression of self will. I allow my Self to be revealed to me. Then I will know my true will, the will I share with God.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: II. The Difference Between Imprisonment, P 2. 7-14-14

II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P 2
2 Is there any possible reason for choosing a teacher such as this? Does the total disregard of anything it teaches make anything but sense? Is this the teacher to whom a Son of God should turn to find himself? The ego has never given you a sensible answer to anything. Simply on the grounds of your own experience with its teaching, should not this alone disqualify it as your future teacher? Yet the ego has done more harm to your learning than this alone. Learning is joyful if it leads you along your natural path, and facilitates the development of what you have. When you are taught against your nature, however, you will lose by your learning because your learning will imprison you. Your will is in your nature, and therefore cannot go against it.

I am absolutely convinced that the ego misleads me. It takes me down the path of confusion, fear, guilt, doubt, pain, suffering and finally it kills me. I know this with a certainty. When I am unhappy I know where that came from. I must be listening to the ego again. If I feel sad, I am listening to ego. I may not be able to pick out the exact thought, but I know it is ego.

If I am angry with someone, I don’t look for justification in his behavior, I simply know I am listening to ego and I ask Holy Spirit to correct my perception. If I am worried about something that might happen, I don’t turn to the ego for a plan. I remember that the peace of God is all I want. The peace of God is mine as long as I don’t have any other goals. I don’t need other goals; I rest in the certainty that all else will be added to me according to my needs.

If the body is sick, I don’t wonder what caused it. I don’t wonder what outside source was the cause. I know that the cause is in my mind. I ask the Holy Spirit what He wants me to know about this. I open my mind to Him and accept the Atonement. All that is not joy and peace in my life is the result of listening to the wrong voice and unhappiness will be the inevitable result. I also know the solution, which is the Holy Spirit.

Now Jesus is telling me that as destructive as it is to listen to ego, as bad as it makes me feel, that is not the worst of it. Believing what I hear from the ego imprisons my will. The ego calls this free will, this ability to choose the voice I will believe, but the choice itself prevents free will. As I follow ego I imprison my will within its insane objectives, and I need help to free myself. That is the reason the Holy Spirit was placed in my mind, alongside the ego exactly where I need it, not to change me but to free me to be my Self.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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