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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, II. The Answer to Prayer, P 4. 12-31-14

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 4
4 If you would know your prayers are answered, never doubt a Son of God. Do not question him and do not confound him, for your faith in him is your faith in yourself. If you would know God and His Answer, believe in me whose faith in you cannot be shaken. Can you ask of the Holy Spirit truly, and doubt your brother? Believe his words are true because of the truth that is in him. You will unite with the truth in him, and his words will be true. As you hear him you will hear me. Listening to truth is the only way you can hear it now, and finally know it.

Sometimes when I hear someone’s words I am certain that they are wrong. I have a brother who is very “old testament” in his religious convictions. His vision of God is so unyielding and harsh as to feel unloving to me. How do I have faith in his vision when I cannot imagine this God He so fearfully and faithfully follows?

Here is what I am given when I ask about this. My brother loves God and that love doesn’t change because it appears in his mind to look like something I don’t recognize as love. If I fail to see Christ in my brother and fail to hear Christ’s meaning in his words, then it is my mind that needs to be healed, not his. I must be listening with a lack of love, and what is God, but Love. I must be listening through my ego.

I see that this must be true in every case. Everyone is made in the image of God and nothing has ever changed that. Therefore, everyone is Love and everyone is certain and perfect and true. The confusion of the ego mind is an illusion and has nothing to do with what they are. When I look at my brother, what do I see? Do I see Christ? Or do I see a body? When I hear his words, do I hear truth or do I hear confusion?

The answer to that question has nothing to do with anyone else, and has nothing to do with what anyone says. It is a reflection of the mind in which I think I think. If I hear anything other than God when I listen to my brother, I am listening with ego, and judging through ego. I am standing before the Christ and calling It insane. Now who is insane?

We all tend to do this. Even in the Course community we fall prey to the ego desire to judge and to be right. We argue over what a passage means and we blithely correct a brother when we decide he misunderstands. Then we call it “being helpful” in order to justify our actions. We argue about meanings in the very book that teaches us the way out of hell is to join as one and be faithful to each other. How insane can we get?

Even as I sit here writing and thinking how true this is; even as I receive a vision of what is being given in this paragraph and am astounded that I never saw with this clarity before; even as I sit here in self congratulations that I am free of the desire to judge my brother by my interpretation of his words, I notice a thought in my mind about a teacher that I doubt.

I think about him and I think he is wrong and the ego starts listing his faults and his misunderstandings and I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. It all happens in a flash and takes only a second, but I imagine Brother Jesus chuckling in the background as I am pulled up short. Ok, maybe there is more to this than getting a clear understanding of how foolish it is to judge and doubt my brother.

First comes some clarity, but then to be of any use, the understanding must become experience. “Holy Spirit, I see in my mind the beliefs I projected onto my brother and I see that I then condemned him for those beliefs. Please heal my mind. Heal my mind, Holy Spirit, because it always my mind that I see reflected in my brother. I long to see my brother for the Christ that he is, so please heal my mind.”

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, II. The Answer to Prayer, P 3. 12-26-14

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 3
3 The Bible emphasizes that all prayer is answered, and this is indeed true. The very fact that the Holy Spirit has been asked for anything will ensure a response. Yet it is equally certain that no response given by Him will ever be one that would increase fear. It is possible that His answer will not be heard. It is impossible, however, that it will be lost. There are many answers you have already received but have not yet heard. I assure you that they are waiting for you.

I have often heard people say that sometimes God’s answer is no. It is their way of understanding why they don’t seem to receive an answer to their prayers while holding onto the idea that God hears them. I used to do that myself. Now I understand that all prayer is answered and that I know the answer when I am ready to receive it. I do not lose an answer because I am afraid of it, because it waits for me.

Sometimes I accept the answer in little tiny bits at a time. I understand that the world is an illusion and that includes my body. How is it then that I think the body is in charge? Weight problems have plagued me since I had my first child in 1969. How could that be? My body is an illusion; how can an illusion decide what it should weigh? How can it do anything?

I understand the logic behind the idea that the body is not stronger than the mind, but I still have this same problem with weight and so I become confused. I asked for clarity and healing and I received it, but I have accepted it in little bits at a time. I should go through my writings and find every one where I learned something new about body issues, and just look at the progression.

The most recent part of the answer that I have been willing to accept is two fold. First I suddenly understood that I needed to stop asking the Holy Spirit to prove I am right and instead to simply ask Him to show me what He wants me to know. The second part came with Lesson 325, the keynote to salvation.

I accepted that weight problems don’t happen to me and do not occur in the world. They are desires in my mind being manifest in the world. I totally accepted that this was true and so I stopped trying to lose weight from my body and started giving my full attention to the beliefs that were sourcing my desire to fight this never ending battle.

When I see such a thought or belief, I ask the Holy Spirit to remove it from my mind. I ask Him to clarify what it is He wants me to know about this and I wait patiently to see if I have understood Him. If my mind is healed then the body will reflect that. I read that lesson on November 21st. I stopped dieting or watching my food intake. I stopped giving meaning to the things Myron puts in her mouth.  I did not do this immediately, but I became vigilant for the old beliefs so I could master this decision.

I have eaten absolutely anything I want and during the holidays this included lots of sweets I don’t ordinarily indulge in. The result is that I am sick of sugar, but I have not gained an ounce. During this past month I have weighed myself once or twice a week, not to see if I am successful, but to see if I am understanding what the Holy Spirit wants me to know. I guess I am. Now I am asking Him to help me understand my desire to not only fail to gain weight but to lose weight. I wonder what will happen.

This is far more important than having a slimmer body. This is the answer to my prayer that I remember what I am. The relationship with the body has been a hard relationship for me to release to Spirit. I am learning lessons about this through my weight issues, through recognizing that pain is not real, and through the healing of the body as I heal my mind.

Weight is just another container for the same error. It is like a jar that is now holding my belief that I am a body and the body is my prison. It is holding the belief that the body is stronger than the mind. It is holding my belief that I have sinned in my desire to have a body. It holds fear and guilt. In asking for help in seeing this differently, I am asking for much more than to change the size and shape of a body. I am asking to remember that I am the Son of God.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, II. The Answer to Prayer, P 2. 12-23-14

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 2
2 Let us suppose, then, that what you ask of the Holy Spirit is what you really want, but you are still afraid of it. Should this be the case, your attainment of it would no longer be what you want. This is why certain specific forms of healing are not achieved, even when the state of healing is. An individual may ask for physical healing because he is fearful of bodily harm. At the same time, if he were healed physically, the threat to his thought system might be considerably more fearful to him than its physical expression. In this case he is not really asking for release from fear, but for the removal of a symptom that he himself selected. This request is, therefore, not for healing at all.

I completely understand this paragraph and totally accept it. The logic is absolutely clear; if I ask for something, but am afraid of it, then I don’t really want it. However, I have noticed that sometimes it is hard to see that I am asking for something and at the same time afraid I will receive it. I think I really want the healing, and can’t understand why I don’t receive it.

I had a problem at work last week and I was angry about it. I don’t like that feeling anymore and I know it is not in alignment with my goal of awakening to project onto my brother. So I asked for the Atonement in this situation. As I learned from Nouk, “Holy Spirit, please help me to forgive myself for using my boss to attack myself and to separate from your Love as my Holy Self.”

I had to work at this for awhile because I kept going back to thinking how wrong he was. I felt threatened by him and so I was afraid to give up my belief that he was attacking me. After all, how could I defend myself if I turned my back on his attack? This is an example of asking for healing, but being afraid of the healing, and so not really wanting the answer. After a day and a half of returning to Spirit with renewed desire to be healed, I felt like it was undone.

Then I went back to work. As soon as I saw him, I was upset again. Holy cow! Was I ever going to be free of this? I asked the Holy Spirit to look at this with me again, and to give me some clarity about it. The thought that came to me was that this could not possibly be his fault because it is my story. I made this story through my desire to be seen as unfairly treated, and separate from my brother. How could it be his fault?

I know this is true. I have no doubt that it is true. And yet, here I was watching the ego mind busily assassinating my brother and stealing my peace. As the day wore on, I felt worse and worse. Looking at my mind I realized I felt guilty and afraid because I was not accepting healing. I know it is not the Holy Spirit ignoring me, so it must be me not really wanting the healing.

Again, I spoke to the Holy Spirit. I knew guilt is not real and that I was making that up. I knew that I want to awaken more than I want this man to be guilty. I saw that I was obviously, for awhile, afraid of the answer. But I wanted the answer and so I asked for healing again, this time for the guilt and fear in my mind. I asked Him why I felt to so bad and had so much trouble letting this go when it was so clear to me how I made this image from a desire based on a false belief.

What He showed me is that I asked for healing and healing was accomplished in that moment of asking. He showed me that the ego does not want to let go of the grievance and so my ego mind keeps offering it to me. The ego says that I am guilty for not being free of this situation. It says that I am guilty for feeling guilty. I was mesmerized by this circular thinking. The Holy Spirit told me to look away.

That was that! As soon as I looked away, I was free of the guilty feelings and free of the desire to project it onto someone else. Sometimes it is that simple. I refocused my attention on what is true rather than looking at the illusion of guilt. Now the thought that I was wronged comes into my mind at odd times, but I am not attracted to it, and so have no emotional reaction. I just quietly hand it over to the Holy Spirit and enjoy the peace of mind that is my right.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, II. The Answer to Prayer, P 1. 12-22-14

II. The Answer to Prayer P1
1 Everyone who ever tried to use prayer to ask for something has experienced what appears to be failure. This is not only true in connection with specific things that might be harmful, but also in connection with requests that are strictly in line with this course. The latter in particular might be incorrectly interpreted as “proof” that the course does not mean what it says. You must remember, however, that the course states, and repeatedly, that its purpose is the escape from fear.

What I pray for now is that my mind be healed. No matter what the seeming need, the solution is that my mind be healed of the mistaken thoughts, the beliefs that are not true. In a healed mind, I find the answer to all my challenges. Having used this approach for awhile now, I understand about fear being a block to the prayer. I have seen fear in my mind that I will lose something of value, even as I asked that it be removed. This is not a true prayer. The Holy Spirit does not answer my words, but my heart.

The solution to this quandary seems, at least in my case, is to be clear that when I don’t receive the answer I expect, it is not the Course, nor Jesus nor the Holy Spirit that has failed to answer. It is always me that has failed as a questioner. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me clarity about the situation. I ask Him what He wants me to see. I become as willing as I can to receive His answers. I ask that He remove from my mind the impediments to my acceptance.

In the end, it is always fear and guilt that block me. I am afraid that allowing more of my “personal” freedom to be eroded will be a loss. What I have is very limited and often painful, but it is something I know, and while I don’t actually trust it, sometimes I am reluctant to chance anything else. It is hard for me to envision a future in which I am aware of myself as Love, a future that is perfectly joyful and completely safe. And yet, that future is here now, waiting for my acceptance.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 14. 12-19-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 14
14 Remember, then, that God’s Will is already possible, and nothing else will ever be. This is the simple acceptance of reality, because only that is real. You cannot distort reality and know what it is. And if you do distort reality you will experience anxiety, depression and ultimately panic, because you are trying to make yourself unreal, When you feel these things, do not try to look beyond yourself for truth, for truth can only be within you. Say, therefore:
Christ is in me, and where He is God must be, for Christ is part of Him.

The first sentence sums up the section perfectly. God’s Will is already possible. We don’t have to do anything to make that true; it simply is. All we have to do to experience reality is to accept it. We accept reality when we stop trying to make it something else. We distort reality when we believe the ego thoughts in our mind. When we forgive those thoughts we reveal the truth and know reality.

When we believe the ego thoughts we suffer because when we distort reality, we feel like we are trying to make ourselves unreal. This sense of unreality leads to depression, anxiety and ultimately panic. Jesus says when this happens we should not look beyond ourselves for truth, but to look within. He doesn’t mean to look within at the ego thoughts to make sense of things, but to look within for the Christ, for God. That is where we find reality.

In our confusion it is hard to believe that Christ is in us and that if Christ is in us, God must also be in us. But this is what Jesus is telling us. Our true nature, our reality is that we are in God and God is in us. We cannot lose ourselves, but can only lose the awareness of our Self. This reality can go nowhere and can not be changed. It remains as it was created. But to not know it is to suffer.

This is why we are here where we are now, studying A Course in Miracles, following our path Home. We are awakening to this truth, to reality. Every day when I pick up the Course and read my paragraph, I ask within for guidance. I ask for clarity. I ask that I be led Home through these words and through the experience of these words.

I am looking at a book, but it is a book we wrote with Jesus, and as I read it, I am not asking anyone else what it means. I am looking within to the Truth that is in my mind, the Truth that was placed there for this purpose. As I hear the Voice for God, the memory of my Self returns to me.

Sometimes I find a dark unexplored corner in my mind and briefly I am afraid. I wonder if the truth is true or if I am crazy to believe this stuff I read in the Course, but what I cannot deny, what is indisputable is the Voice that speaks to me. That Voice is always there, gentle but convincing.

It gives me Its thoughts, thoughts I cannot find in the ego thinking mind. I hear that Voice and I hear it within me, and I know I am not the ego self. I know I am part of the Christ Mind. And if Christ is in me, then God, Which is in Christ, is also in me. I can rest in that knowledge and be at peace. That is the reality, the only reality.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 13. 12-18-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 13
13 God in His devotion to you created you devoted to everything, and gave you what you are devoted to. Otherwise you would not have been created perfect. Reality is everything, and you have everything because you are real. You cannot make the unreal because the absence of reality is fearful, and fear cannot be created. As long as you believe that fear is possible, you will not create. Opposing orders of reality make reality meaningless, and reality is meaning.

God created me devoted to everything, then gave me what I am devoted to so that I would be created perfect. Reality is everything, I have everything and so I am real. I made up things outside of reality, but the absence of reality is not possible and I became afraid. Fear is not reality and so in making something outside of reality I was no longer creating.

As long as I believe fear is possible I am trying to believe in opposing orders of reality and that is clearly not possible. Either one is true or the other is true. They cannot both be true. Would I choose to believe in something other than God and remain bound, trading Reality for the illusion of pain, suffering and death as if they were reality?

To return my mind to Reality, it is clear that I must stop trying to believe in what is not real. It is insanity to devote myself to the impossible job of giving meaning to the meaningless. As I devote myself to only what is real, to Love, to God, what I have done outside of Reality is undone and I return my mind to sanity. Every time I notice meaningless thoughts in my mind, I ask the Holy Spirit to remove them because I want only what God gave me in my creation. The illusion is unraveling.

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Study of Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 12. 12-17-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 12

12 Any attempt to deny what is must be fearful, and if the attempt is strong it will induce panic. Willing against reality, though impossible, can be made into a very persistent goal even though you do not want it. But consider the result of this strange decision. You are devoting your mind to what you do not want. How real can this devotion be? If you do not want it, it was never created. If it were never created, it is nothing. Can you really devote yourself to nothing?

Jesus says that to deny what is must be fearful. When I deny what I am, I deny what is. I was reading from the Daily Lessons the section called “What am I?” This is a beautiful section and I am going to read it frequently now because I think I may be ready to believe it. Among other things, it says that we are the holy messengers of God who speak for Him, and carrying it to everyone whom He has sent to us, we learn that it is written on our hearts.

When I feel afraid or sick, when I am in pain, or angry, when I succumb to guilt and doubt, I deny what is. When I treat anyone badly, I am not being messenger for God and thus I am not learning what is written on my heart. I deny both of us the truth that brings us to the awareness of Heaven. This includes the clerk at the store, the fellow shopper who is blocking the aisle, the driver who won’t use her turn signal.

In this world of separation with its levels and its orders of difficulty, it seems like some errors are big or important and other things hardly matter. But that is not so. It is the same error that I feel anger and resentment toward my boss and that it consumes me for two days, as it is that I was impatient with the store clerk who was moving slowly and talking to a fellow clerk while I was running late. They are the same thing because the only thing is happening is that I am either devoted to God or to ego, devoted to what is, or devoted to nothing.

In this Christmas season I have some very clear opportunities to teach love or to teach fear. Even when I am not actively involved in Christmas shopping, making arrangements for holiday visits, or worrying about my budget, many others are and this can make them anxious. People drive too fast or carelessly because they are devoted to nothing and are fearful, even panicked. You can see it in their pinched expressions, worry lines, and tense bodies.

My function is to remember my true devotion, to be a messenger of God, teaching love, teaching everyone what they are, and so learning what I am. And when I forget, when I get caught up in the illusion, my function is to forgive myself as soon as I notice that I am devoting myself to nothing. When I think of this, I get excited! Today is not just another day at work, another day navigating the crowds, the heavy traffic. It is a day of remembering and a day of teaching. Today I am God’s messenger.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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