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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 12. 10-13-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 12

12 Only the Holy Spirit knows what you need. For He will give you all things that do not block the way to light. And what else could you need? In time, He gives you all the things that you need have, and will renew them as long as you have need of them. He will take nothing from you as long as you have any need of it. And yet He knows that everything you need is temporary, and will but last until you step aside from all your needs and realize that all of them have been fulfilled. Therefore He has no investment in the things that He supplies, except to make certain that you will not use them on behalf of lingering in time. He knows that you are not at home there, and He wills no delay to wait upon your joyous homecoming.

Journal
There are some paths that emphasize how to manifest in this life what we want to have. I don’t have an issue with that. I have done so myself and I know how it is possible and I also know how and why we limit our ability to do so. But I am not very interested in this path. This section of A Course in Miracles is the reason I lost interest in using my time to consciously manifest what I think will make me happy. I do not know what I need or what will make me happy, but the Holy Spirit does know. He knows what I need, and He will supply my needs as long as I let Him. He will renew them as long as I need them, and he will take nothing from me as long as I have need of it.

With this promise, why would I try to figure out what I need and how long I need it? Why would I give any of my time to this fruitless effort? I have spent a lifetime proving that I really don’t know what I need. I did this through trial and error without realizing that was what I was doing. But I cannot help noticing the effects of my efforts, which were hit and miss at best. So I know I am not good at even deciding what I need and I also know that I have to work hard at getting what I think I need and then holding onto it. And then if what I thought I needed were no longer there, I would feel loss, even if I didn’t really need it anymore. It is a messy and unreliable method of achieving what I need.

What if I did this instead? What if I asked Holy Spirit what it is I need right now? Then, what if I simply accepted that what I needed would be provided? What if I never again worried about any need, and absolutely knew that each need would be met in perfect timing, in a way that would be most helpful to all involved, and that the need would be met as long as the need existed? What if I knew the way the need was met was so perfect that it could never hurt me. And what if I never had to be concerned that I would be given something that would keep me lingering in the illusion? How peaceful and calm my life would be! How happy I would be! And this is the promise that we are given in this paragraph.

So what is my part? Well, I can see that I would need to stop trying to decide what I need and how to get that need met. It cannot be done for me if I am doing it myself. I would have to trust Jesus. I would have to let go of any expectations I have about how this would unfold. I would have to trust that everything was occurring perfectly even if I didn’t understand it at the moment. I would have to give up the idea that I need to do it myself. I would have to give up the delusion that I have control and need to keep control. I would have to give up self-will in favor of Self-will. I can do all this but it takes awareness and practice. But, oh my, it would really be worth it!

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 11. 10-12-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 11

11 Everything the ego tells you that you need will hurt you. For although the ego urges you again and again to get, it leaves you nothing, for what you get it will demand of you. And even from the very hands that grasped it, it will be wrenched and hurled into the dust. For where the ego sees salvation it sees separation, and so you lose whatever you have gotten in its name. Therefore ask not of yourself what you need, for you do not know, and your advice to yourself will hurt you. For what you think you need will merely serve to tighten up your world against the light, and render you unwilling to question the value that this world can really hold for you.

Journal
When I was younger I felt an emptiness in me, and a compelling desire to fill it. I had spent my life up until that time believing in fairytales. I believed I was waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on his big white horse and save me from my aloneness. When that was done, I was sure I would be fulfilled and this empty feeling would go away. So, forever unwilling to wait, I set about finding my prince. I had in my mind the qualities I thought would make him perfect and when I found him I pursued him with grim determination until I got him.

There were so many things wrong with that plan I don’t even know where to start. But suffice it to say that the ego was running the whole thing, and that is never a good thing. I did not feel fulfilled, there was still an emptiness in me, and an ego goal and grim determination do not guarantee you will like what you get. I did not understand at the time why my plan didn’t work so I tried the same plan over and over only to fail each time. Sure, I got the prince I was after, but the plan to save myself in the relationship never worked.

The ego mind formed the plan and carried it out with precision, and it promised me fulfillment. For a time I would enjoy the feeling of being in love and my thoughts were so fixated on the other and on my emotions that I thought I was happy and had what I needed. But as time went on and the initial, “I am so in love” feeling began to fade, I realized that being with another body just isn’t enough to fill up that emptiness. Then the projection would begin and it would seem to me like the other was not my savior, but my problem. And so I would start over in my quest. Special relationships is just one way that the ego offers everything and then snatches it away.

When A Course in Miracles came into my life, I began to understand that the empty feeling was the longing for God. Slowly I began to change as I let more thoughts be healed, and as I allowed in more God. I stopped trying to get my needs met by others and began to give others the love that I discovered in me. That love does not diminish with time, but grows within me. The more I give away, the more I have to give. I didn’t have to find anyone to get this love and I only lose awareness of it when I return to listening to the ego instead of the Voice for God.

The contrast between the ego driven quest of fulfillment and the Holy Spirit’s gentle and loving guidance was so sharp that I realized I wanted to stop asking the ego for advice. I wanted the Holy Spirit to be my advisor in everything. Instead of asking the ego what I should do to be happy, I began to ask the Holy Spirit what He would have me do now. I would ask Him what He wanted me to know about any particular situation. I am sometimes confused about where He is taking me as it is not always apparent. But I give as much trust as I can and I try hard to resist that still present, but fading, desire to be in control.

What I have discovered is that what God gives is truly given. It cost me nothing and it is never snatched away as inevitably happens with the ego’s “gifts.” What I receive from the Holy Spirit is mine for as long as I need it, and it never hurts me. He gives truly and generously out of abundance. If something is suddenly gone, I know that I no longer need it, though I sometimes become confused and think I have lost something. But eventually I realize what really happened, that person or thing or circumstance is no longer needed, and I’ve learned to wait in happy anticipation to see each of my needs met in this perfect way.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 10. 10-11-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 10

10 Praise, then, the Father for the perfect sanity of His most holy Son. Your Father knoweth that you have need of nothing. In Heaven this is so, for what could you need in eternity? In your world you do need things. It is a world of scarcity in which you find yourself because you are lacking. Yet can you find yourself in such a world? Without the Holy Spirit the answer would be no. Yet because of Him the answer is a joyous yes! As Mediator between the two worlds, He knows what you have need of and what will not hurt you. Ownership is a dangerous concept if it is left to you. The ego wants to have things for salvation, for possession is its law. Possession for its own sake is the ego’s fundamental creed, a basic cornerstone in the churches it builds to itself. And at its altar it demands you lay all of the things it bids you get, leaving you no joy in them.

Journal
Jesus knows that in eternity we need nothing because we have and are everything, but in this world built on the idea of lack, there are things we need. If we give our needs to the Holy Spirit He will fulfill them in a way that will not hurt us. I live by this creed. I am fully convinced that I do not know what I need or even want. I have asked for things and received them and regretted my choices. I have been left unfulfilled. I still do that sometimes, but when I notice I am doing it, I change my mind quickly.

Regina Dawn Akers gave a class when The Secret was all the big rage. She talked about it, and how she was able to use the idea but in a way that was safe. Instead of telling Holy Spirit what she wanted, she asked Him what she wanted. This is what I try to do in all cases. When I succeed, I find myself with what I need for as long as I need it. I know I didn’t do anything except desire what was needed, and so I have no great attachment to it, or a fear of losing it.

My home is an example. I had the thought that I wanted to retire someday, and in fact that I would have to retire at some point, hopefully not too far away. Then I had the thought that I would never be able to do that if I kept paying rent that would be unaffordable in retirement. I also would like to live in a comfortable place in a nice neighborhood.

I’ve never had house envy and while I can appreciate a nice house, I don’t get excited about it, or long for it. So I didn’t have anything special in mind, and really, I couldn’t figure out how on earth I could buy a house of any kind. I didn’t have a down payment and that was important. Also it was late in life for me to be making this decision. How would I get it paid off in only a few years before retirement? I would just be in the same fix.
But the thought persisted and so I just gave the need to Holy Spirit.

Very soon, other thoughts began to surface and I followed each one as it came to me. Within a few months I was living in my own home. It meets all my needs and I am very comfortable here. Within the last three years I have paid it down and this month, I will pay it off. It is really miraculous when I think of that first thought that I should by a house and where I am now. It could have all gone so differently if I had listened to the ego objections.

Since all I did was follow directions and ignore ego, I don’t worry about the house. I needed something in the world, and Holy Spirit supplied it. I didn’t make it happen and so I don’t feel responsible for it. I have no particular fear about loss because the Power that provided once will provide again. I don’t feel attached to this form of provision. If I am to move again for some reason, I am ok with that, too.

The ego hates that. It wants to worry about hurricanes and flooding. It wants to worry about taxes and any other calamities it can come up with. But I am learning through this experience and others that I give my need to Holy Spirit and trust His judgment and His love, and I have done my part. Even if the solution does not seem to meet my expectations, I generally just wait to see how He has it all worked out. It might very well be that I was wrong about the purpose of what He provided and all will be enlightened in its time.

An example of that is my job. Everything changed at work quite suddenly and it threw me for a loop. But I did my best at each step to overcome my fear and allow the situation to unfold. At first it was hard to see this situation as another gift from Holy Spirit, something I needed and would appreciate. And yet, I have allowed relationships to be healed, to be made holy. I am so very pleased with everything that occurred.
I am learning to trust Love and to surrender to It. I am never disappointed when I do.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 9. 10-10-16

VII. ATTAINMENT OF THE REAL WORLD, P 9
9 You will first dream of peace, and then awaken to it. Your first exchange of what you made for what you want is the exchange of nightmares for the happy dreams of love. In these lie your true perceptions, for the Holy Spirit corrects the world of dreams, where all perception is. Knowledge needs no correction. Yet the dreams of love lead unto knowledge. In them you see nothing fearful, and because of this they are the welcome that you offer knowledge. Love waits on welcome, not on time, and the real world is but your welcome of what always was. Therefore the call of joy is in it, and your glad response is your awakening to what you have not lost.

Journal
We were in Heaven, knowing ourselves as One in God. We decided to dream of more than one and the dream became a nightmare. But it is just a dream and we are awakening now. We are backing out a step at a time just as we came into the dream. Our first step is to leave the nightmares behind and return to the happy dream. Our acceptance of the happy dream signals our desire to awaken from the dream. Love waits on our welcome.

This is accomplished as we realize that we are the cause of our unhappiness and make a decision to change our mind. This decision, this true desire for happiness is what triggers the Holy Spirit in our mind. The Holy Spirit then corrects our perception and brings it close to truth. So our part is to become aware of what we are doing and to truly desire a change. Salvation asks so little of us.

My younger daughter and I talked about her getting married. She had not decided how she wanted to do this, and was thinking about just going to the courthouse and getting it done. I think she was actually feeling me out to see how I felt about this. I had done my older daughter’s wedding for her and when my younger son planned to be married he intended me to do his. Perhaps she wanted to see if I objected to alternate plans. I told her that it is her wedding and she should do what she wanted to do. That was awhile back.

Last night we all attended her baby shower, family and friends. I had the thought that everyone was gathered, and this would be a good time for them to get married. As it turned out she had planned this big surprise. She had someone there to perform the ceremony and we all watched as Susan and Mike were married. My first reaction was surprising to me.

I felt embarrassed in front of my family that she did not confide in me and that I was not the one officiating. Then I felt rejected and somewhere between angry and sad. I watched all those feelings pass through me and I thought they would just keep going, but evidently I believed them because they stayed. I tried to talk myself out of them but that hardly ever works. It is not our job to correct our perception, only to want correction.

Finally, when I got home, I asked for help. I saw that the only thing happening here is that I was defending my self-image. I have done the weddings for my family members since I was ordained and I had an image of myself as that person. I have always presented myself as a good mother, one who is loved by her children. I often felt less than that, but it is the image I presented to the world, and now I felt the loss of that image.

It seems that I thought I needed her to show the world (and me) how special I am to her. I was reminded of how much work we put into maintaining our images, and the images are nothing. We are the Son of God, we are perfect Love, and yet here I am bemoaning the loss of an imagined illusory image.

It was still hard to let go of the desire to do so. I used the Rules for Decision. I understood that I had judged the situation. I decided what it meant, and once I had done that, my reaction was pretty much fixed. So if I wanted to return to peace and to love, I had to undo that decision. I knew it was too late for the quick restorative, so I began the step by step change of mind.

I at least knew that this thinking was not making me happy and so I hoped I was wrong. I wanted another way to look at this. I had to come back to that a few times because at first I didn’t want another way to look at it. What I really wanted was for her to know she hurt my feelings and to be sorry for it. I’m very glad that I didn’t express that out loud, knowing that I would change my mind about it. I sure wouldn’t want her special moment to be forever tainted by my unhappiness, and that kept me in check until I could allow the healing.

Finally, I knew that I wanted another way to see this. And I began to accept that maybe there was another way to see. (do ya think?) ~smile~ And my mind and heart began to open to that new perception. I really, really wanted this new perception, this true perception. I could make no image that comes close to what I was created. I understood that trading my Divinity for specialness was no real bargain at all. I saw how painful it is to need “proof” of love and approval. I wanted healing and that was my only job. The correction itself was out of my hands and so I simply allowed it.

This seems to be the way perception is corrected. My experience of this, after doing the practice for a number of years now, is that as I have become vigilant for my thoughts and beliefs and have allowed them to be corrected, I have become much happier. I haven’t slipped into that permanent state of a happy dream. As I can see from last night’s experience, I still have trouble letting go of some false beliefs that cause unhappiness. But I also see that I am willing to let them go even if it feels hard at first. Love is waiting for me to make it welcome, and I am doing that.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 8. 10-7-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 8

8 The peace of God passeth your understanding only in the past. Yet here it is, and you can understand it now. God loves His Son forever, and His Son returns his Father’s Love forever. The real world is the way that leads you to remembrance of the one thing that is wholly true and wholly yours. For all else you have lent yourself in time, and it will fade. But this one thing is always yours, being the gift of God unto His Son. Your one reality was given you, and by it God created you as one with Him.

Journal
I can have the peace of God right now and in having it I can understand it. But it must be now, not in the nowhere time of the past or the future. That is why I am forming the habit of noticing when I am in the past or the future and then making a decision to be in the present moment. At first it felt like an impossible task, but now it is easier. As I stay more in the present, I am more in the presence of Love and that is a powerful motivation.

I have been sending my son encouraging text messages once a day while he is going through this difficult time. He hasn’t answered me this week. The ego mind is making up all kinds of dreadful stories. Then I heard something very upsetting about a niece and that added to my sense of dread. The ego stories quickly pile up and take on a heaviness that they don’t actually have.

But I am also aware of what is happening. About the time I start to feel desperate, I remember that this is a story. It is an illusion and not actually happening. I am watching the story and my son and my niece are watching their stories. I ask for a different way to view this, a way I can detach from them. I suddenly had the memory of a section I read in The Afterlife of Billy Fingers. He was watching scenes from his life, not with guilt or fear but with interest. I felt like that memory was made available to me in answer to my prayer. I am willing to watch this story and all my seeming errors without fear and guilt and only with interest.

I was also reminded that I could look at the future that the ego stories point to, or I can return to the present moment where I will find the peace of God. That is my choice and one I make in every moment. After all, what is actually happening in this moment? I am not at peace because I am imagining some other moment. Right now, right this moment I reside in God’s Love. Nothing can touch me here.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 7. 10-6-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 7

7 It is God’s Will that nothing touch His Son except Himself, and nothing else comes nigh unto him. He is as safe from pain as God Himself, Who watches over him in everything. The world about him shines with love because God placed him in Himself where pain is not, and love surrounds him without end or flaw. Disturbance of his peace can never be. In perfect sanity he looks on love, for it is all about him and within him. He must deny the world of pain the instant he perceives the arms of love around him. And from this point of safety he looks quietly about him and recognizes that the world is one with him.

Journal
What an incredible paragraph this is! I remember Cate’s suggestion that we read the words as if Jesus was sitting next to us, saying them to us. I did this, and I did it in first person. As written these words have a strong impact. Reading them in first person with the inflections I imagine Jesus would use if speaking directly to me, the impact is powerful. Would you like to try this? Read it slowly, seeing Jesus sitting beside you, or before you. Imagine him leaning into you, his eyes sparkling with intensity, his voice filled with love as he shares this news with you.

And then Jesus says to you:
It is God’s Will that nothing touch You except Himself, and nothing else comes nigh unto you. You are as safe from pain as God Himself, Who watches over you in everything. The world about you shines with love because God placed you in Himself where pain is not, and love surrounds you without end or flaw. Disturbance of your peace can never be. In perfect sanity you look on love, for it is all about you and within you. You must deny the world of pain the instant you perceive the arms of love around you. And from this point of safety you look quietly about you and recognize that the world is one with you.

Even after all these years of study, I have to very deliberately shift my thinking from ego to God when I read truth like this in the Course. I am more used to thinking of myself as needy, someone who lacks, someone who has a lot of work yet to do to be ready for the truth, to be able to accept the truth. I still have enough belief in guilt in my mind to deny that this is true right now. So I have to shift my mind. This is why I use this technique. I imagine that this is true for me, and wait for it to sink in. I read it slowly. I read it with feeling. I open my heart and ask for the meaning of those words to fill me.

Can this be true right now? Can it really be that it is God’s Will that nothing touch me except Himself, and nothing else comes nigh unto me? Am I really as safe from pain as God Himself? Does God watch over me in everything? I want to know that this is true, to feel it in my heart of hearts. I have been staring into the illusion as if it were true, and doing it for so long that I must tear my eyes away from it so that I can know God, even though He surrounds me with Himself.

In the morning I start my day by deciding with God what kind of day I want. This morning, I have decided I will look on the world and see the love that is all around me without end and without flaw. And if anything comes to disturb my peace I will shift my mind to God again. I will know safety. I will know that all I perceive is one with me, and that as one, we are surrounded by God. Nothing can touch me except God.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 6. 10-5-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 6

6 No one in this distracted world but has seen some glimpses of the other world about him. Yet while he still lays value on his own, he will deny the vision of the other, maintaining that he loves what he loves not, and following not the road that love points out. Love leads so gladly! As you follow Him, you will rejoice that you have found His company, and learned of Him the joyful journey home. You wait but for yourself. To give this sad world over and exchange your errors for the peace of God is but your will. And Christ will always offer you the Will of God, in recognition that you share it with Him.

Journal
This morning I glimpse the other world. I follow love gladly because it feels so good! It feels like joy. It feels like I am supported and cared for. It feels like I am cherished. It also feels like I am something that I don’t remember, a mystery, but a mystery just only out of reach, something very close. There is this sense of happy anticipation.

I see the ego thoughts in my mind trying to pull me back to its world of separate beings with separate thoughts and separate goals. It reminds me of things I need to worry about, things that need my attention, things that are sure to go wrong. It wants to be angry and fearful. It wants to find the guilty party. It wants to overcome others and be the winner. It is dark and foreboding, the best of its gifts fleeting and unsatisfying.

But right now in this moment, I just don’t care about ego, and am uninterested in its offerings or its warnings. Just in this moment, I am carried by peace, by Love. And just this moment is the only reality that exists. In this moment is the Will of God, and in this one moment, I share it with Him. I have thought that the world had meaning and value and I sought for my place in it. And I suppose that this will happen again for awhile, but maybe not. Who knows, maybe I will follow Him gladly all day long, maybe all the way Home.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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