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Manual for Teacher: II. Honesty, P 1. 11-16-17

II. Honesty
1 All other traits of God’s teachers rest on trust. Once that has been achieved, the others cannot fail to follow. Only the trusting can afford honesty, for only they can see its value. Honesty does not apply only to what you say. The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.

Journal
When I was young, I was not honest by any definition of honesty, but as my mind began to heal, that changed. By the time I got to the Manual for Teachers, I thought I was honest. As I read this paragraph, I realized what it meant to be truly honest and I felt like it was a hopeless task. I wondered if I could be a teacher of God if I had most of the characteristics.

What I failed to notice at that time was the first sentence. All other traits of God’s teachers rest on trust. Eventually, my trust began to develop and as it did, my honesty became more consistent. It is hard for me to believe, but as I read this paragraph today, I see that I am honest. Or pretty darned close to it.

I still believe a few thoughts that are not in alignment with the other thoughts, but even they are fading away as I continue to bring them to the Holy Spirit to look at with me. I speak the words that are true for me, and occasionally, I hear myself speak words that are not true for me. Again, I quickly look at them with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to remove the beliefs that were the source of my dishonesty.

I was thinking of an example of dishonesty in my life at this time. Here is what came into my mind. I teach that we are all worthy. I teach it all the time. I quote Jesus when he said that our worthiness is not established by what we say or do, but that it was established in our creation. But then, I start noticing things about myself that belie that statement.

For instance, last night at my Al-Anon meeting, we talked about asking for help. I used to be so determined to not ask for help that I think if I had a heart attack, I would die before I would ask for help. I could only hope that someone noticed and helped me without being asked. I am not that opposed to asking anymore, but I still resist it. I still feel uncomfortable asking.

This can only be because I feel unworthy still, and so expect rejection and cannot chance rejection since that might prove my unworthiness. Well, shoot! But I am glad to see this. I was keeping it secret from myself and now I am not. Perhaps now is the time that I can become consistently honest in this area. I am asking the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that I could be something other than what God created me to be.

So I am not perfectly honest yet, but I see my way through to honesty and know that I can and will be honest. I am grateful for this transformation. It is a long way from the first response I had to this paragraph. I am willing to trust the Word of God through Jesus, through the Holy Spirit. That is a perfectly honest statement. I am willing and I will to do so.

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Study of Text, C 15: III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 76, 11-15-17

III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 7
7 In this season (Christmas) which celebrates the birth of holiness into this world, join with me who decided for holiness for you. It is our task together to restore the awareness of magnitude to the host whom God appointed for Himself. It is beyond all your littleness to give the gift of God, but not beyond you. For God would give Himself through you. He reaches from you to everyone and beyond everyone to His Son’s creations, but without leaving you. Far beyond your little world but still in you, He extends forever. Yet He brings all His extensions to you, as host to Him.

Journal
I do join with you, Jesus, in deciding for holiness for me. I will work with you to restore the awareness of magnitude. Here I am, Lord. Give Yourself through me. I surrender the little self that I have so long treasured so that there is nothing blocking You. I think of the power of God working through me to help complete the task Jesus chose for himself and I am flooded with joy. There is nothing I want more than to know myself as the host to God.

My littleness, the ego body/personality of Myron cannot do this, but I can. I can allow God to give Himself through me and together all of us with Jesus will get this task done. I love the part of this paragraph where Jesus tells us that God works through us, reaching out beyond us, but not leaving us. I love that He reaches out to and beyond everyone to our extensions; he extends forever.

More than any other paragraph so far this one gives me just a taste of true magnitude. Who are we? I can’t even imagine who we are it is so far from the littleness that we made and accepted as ourselves. Surely, together, we must the Son of God, and part of God Himself. What were we thinking when we decided to explore separation? I want to end this exploration and I want to return to the state of Heaven. Whatever I need to look at, and to release, I am ready.

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Manual for Teacher: A. Development of Trust, P 8. 11-14-17

A. Development of Trust, P 8

8 And finally, there is “a period of achievement.” It is here that learning is consolidated. Now what was seen as merely shadows before become solid gains, to be counted on in all “emergencies” as well as tranquil times. Indeed, the tranquility is their result; the outcome of honest learning, consistency of thought and full transfer. This is the stage of real peace, for here is Heaven’s state fully reflected. From here, the way to Heaven is open and easy. In fact, it is here. Who would “go” anywhere, if peace of mind is already complete? And who would seek to change tranquility for something more desirable? What could be more desirable than this?

Journal
I can only talk about this part to the degree I have achieved it, so I will describe my experience of it so far. I don’t know how this works for other people, but for me, it has been as gradual a process as the other stages. As I released more ego beliefs my mind became calmer, more peaceful and I became happier as a result. I am not happy and guilt free 100% of the time yet, but I will be. I continue to look with the Holy Spirit at whatever shows up in my mind. I have asked to see what is left so that I can do this as quickly as possible. I wonder what will show up.

As I understand this, I will one day be completely free of guilt and fear and my mind will be in a state of Heaven. That is, it will be completely tranquil. There will be no Heaven to go to, it will be here now in my mind. I have had what Jesus calls honest learning and as a result, I now have some consistency of thought. This is leading to full transfer. The process has already advanced and I can experience it at times. I know people who have achieved that state and so I am encouraged and inspired by that.

All I did to get this far is to do what Jesus suggests to us in the Course and to do it more and more consistently. I watch my thoughts, I realize that I want only the thoughts I think with God and so I ask the Holy Spirit to remove everything else. I forgive all grievances and allow the Holy Spirit to transform all relationships. I never think the world is at fault; I never blame anyone else for my problems. I always turn it around and heal in my mind what I see with my eyes. I do these things without exception, and if I fail to do so, I simply do it when I notice my failure.

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Study of Text, C 15: III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 6, 11-13-17

II. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 6
6 The Holy Spirit can hold your magnitude, clean of all littleness, clearly and in perfect safety in your mind, untouched by every little gift the world of littleness would offer you. But for this, you cannot side against Him in what He wills for you. Decide for God through Him. For littleness, and the belief that you can be content with littleness, are decisions you make about yourself. The power and the glory that lie in you from God are for all who, like you, perceive themselves as little, and believe that littleness can be blown up into a sense of magnitude that can content them. Neither give littleness, nor accept it. All honor is due the host of God. Your littleness deceives you, but your magnitude is of Him Who dwells in you, and in Whom you dwell. Touch no one, then, with littleness in the Name of Christ, eternal Host unto His Father.

Journal
I find it very reassuring to know that the Holy Spirit can keep my magnitude clean of arrogance. I want to live in my magnitude but not let it be tainted by the ego needs and desires. In the past, I tended to play small because I was afraid of this. I was afraid to claim the power of God in me, afraid my ego mind would be using it. This was because I was not yet clearly identified with my Self and still often I identified as my ego. Now, it is the other way around, and I am clear that the ego is on the way out, and I am not afraid of it anymore.

For the Holy Spirit to guard my magnitude, I must watch the decisions I make about myself and let Him decide for God for me. For instance, I am a minister, a teacher, and an author. If I decide that makes me special and that people should treat me special because of it, I am deciding against God. I am using my gifts to inflate my littleness to give me a false sense of magnitude.

If this were to happen, I would ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking by deciding for God for me. This is how I do my part to side with the Holy Spirit. I simply give Him permission to correct me when I am misusing the power of God that is in me. I feel pretty safe with this power now. I know the difference now between being arrogant and being truly humble. I feel safe claiming magnitude because I am happy that I am being used for His purposes and I know that I am not useful through the ego-self but through my surrender of the ego self.

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Manual for Teacher: A. Development of Trust, P 7. 11-10-17

A. Development of Trust, P 7

7 The next stage is indeed “a period of unsettling.” Now must the teacher of God understand that he did not really know what was valuable and what was valueless. All that he really learned so far was that he did not want the valueless, and that he did want the valuable. Yet his own sorting out was meaningless in teaching him the difference. The idea of sacrifice, so central to his own thought system, had made it impossible for him to judge. He thought he learned willingness, but now he sees that he does not know what the willingness is for. And now he must attain a state that may remain impossible to reach for a long, long time. He must learn to lay all judgment aside, and ask only what he really wants in every circumstance. Were not each step in this direction so heavily reinforced, it would be hard indeed!

Journal
That period of unsettling is really a bitch. It is difficult and often painful. It is frustrating beyond words. If this hasn’t been your experience so far, then you may not yet be to this stage. We think that we have done the work of sorting and discarding only to discover that we have mostly been working with the ego mind. Now we must surrender if we are to go further.

I have been at this stage for a very long time. I have brought my thoughts to the Holy Spirit to be corrected. I have taken them back and brought them again. I came to understand what it means to believe that relinquishing these beliefs is a sacrifice, and then finally I have come to understand that I was wrong about that.

I have gone through stages of healing, thinking that I had accomplished forgiveness and then realizing I had only delayed it through projection or denial. I finally learned to turn all judgments around, to understand that none of them were about the other person, but about my thoughts about the person. I learned to forgive myself. And through the process, I have learned there is no other to forgive.

I have learned that my life isn’t about my life. It is about my purpose. My life is just a handy way for me to see what is left to be healed. I have learned that I am not what I thought I was. I am in the process of shattering this ego persona, letting go of the “me” that I have for so long identified as self. In so doing, I am making room for the self that I truly am to rise in my awareness.

I went through the process of believing that I had given up a belief only to discover that I wasn’t interested in giving it up, only in being free of the effects of the belief. And finally, I accept that I cannot have freedom from the effects unless I give up the belief. I have cried and cursed and fought the inevitable. And at last, I have reached a degree of peace I had never experienced, and have done so through surrender.

I have surrendered and surrendered again and then surrendered more deeply as I discovered the true meaning of surrender. I began to see the promises of A Course in Miracles and to believe in those promises. The words of the Course are like jewels bestowed on me, miracles showering down on me. I have no way to describe my gratitude, as it is boundless. And still, I am in the period of unsettling, but it is gentler and I see an end to this period. I can now envision a period of achievement and I know I am entering that, though not yet in it.

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Study of Text, C 15: III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 5, 11-9-17

III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 5
5 I asked you earlier, “Would you be hostage to the ego or host to God?” Let this question be asked you by the Holy Spirit every time you make a decision. For every decision you make does answer this, and invites sorrow or joy accordingly. When God gave Himself to you in your creation, He established you as host to Him forever. He has not left you, and you have not left Him. All your attempts to deny His magnitude, and make His Son hostage to the ego, cannot make little whom God has joined with Him. Every decision you make is for Heaven or for hell, and brings you the awareness of what you decided for.

Journal
In the Rules for Decision, it says that we make decisions continuously, and so we are continuously given the opportunity for joy. There is also the opportunity to choose hell and to suffer. The only criterion for this choice is whether we want to make the decision with the Holy Spirit or with ego. There is never any doubt with which we choose to make the decision. The effects of the decision make it very clear which we chose.

What happens if we choose the ego as our guide through this life? I mean, except for a lot of pain and suffering? Nothing happens. We simply continue to dream of hell while all along we abide in Heaven. No matter how long we dream we do not transform the dream into reality. We are not little, and we cannot make ourselves little.

We can, however, believe we are little and what we believe is true for us and therefore affects us. That is where the suffering comes from, the belief in littleness. The suffering is not real, either, but it sure as heck feels real. Regardless that this has been going on for a long time, it can be stopped in an instant, in a blink of an eye.

All that is required is a wholehearted decision for God. A decision that is unopposed in the mind will Awaken us. Be uncompromising in this. This morning I watched a Mooji video. The last thing he offered was a prayerful answer to temptation. I wrote it down on my calendar and I have read it several times already. It reminds me of what matters and how easy it is to achieve it. He said, “Guide me, Truth, into the Heart of what is real.”

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Manual for Teacher: A. Development of Trust, P 6. 11-08-17

A. Development of Trust, P 6

6 Now comes “a period of settling down.” This is a quiet time, in which the teacher of God rests a while in reasonable peace. Now he consolidates his learning. Now he begins to see the transfer value of what he has learned. Its potential is literally staggering, and the teacher of God is now at the point in his progress at which he sees in it his whole way out. “Give up what you do not want, and keep what you do.” How simple is the obvious! And how easy to do! The teacher of God needs this period of respite. He has not yet come as far as he thinks. Yet when he is ready to go on, he goes with mighty companions beside him. Now he rests a while, and gathers them before going on. He will not go on from here alone.

Journal
We have just gone through a period of a lot of work! Up to this time, we were learning what has value and what does not. We were learning that we don’t want to keep the valueless and how to let it go. Often there were many steps in this process and a lot of retracing our steps before we were really done with the valueless. We have earned a respite, a time of settling down.

As we have learned all these valuable lessons, we have also learned that what the ego made complicated in our mind wasn’t really complicated at all. It is really very simple. We have many thoughts that come from mistaken beliefs and those beliefs cause us to suffer. We learned that letting them go ended our suffering. We learned that to let them go all we needed to do was to give them to the Holy Spirit, and to the degree, our decision was unopposed by a conflicting desire, it was done for us. Truly, very simple.

Sometimes we mistake a rest stop for the end of the journey. It feels so good to be here, so much better than life before we did this work that we think we are done. But this is not the end; as good as this feels, it is going to be so much better when we go on and finish the process. It is at this point that we gather our mighty companions before we proceed. Some of these companions will be unseen and some will be teachers, writers, fellow students, anyone who is going to support us on our journey and help us move forward to the end.

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