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Study of Text, C 15: IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 7, 12-29-17

IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 7
7 How can you do this when you would prefer to have private thoughts and keep them? The only way you could do that would be to deny the perfect communication that makes the holy instant what it is. You believe you can harbor thoughts you would not share, and that salvation lies in keeping thoughts to yourself alone. For in private thoughts, known only to yourself, you think you find a way to keep what you would have alone, and share what you would share. And then you wonder why it is that you are not in full communication with those around you, and with God Who surrounds all of you together.

Journal
Jesus is helping us to understand that we must open our minds to the Holy Spirit so that our thoughts can be purified. We must hold nothing back, nothing we would keep private. What thought would I want to hold back, anyway? What thought would I want to keep safe from the Holy Spirit? At first, I cannot think of anything that I would not share with Him. I want a completely healed mind.

But when I think about it further, I realize that there are times when I don’t accept healing for my thoughts and so it must be that I am withholding them. I am keeping them private and refusing open communication. I can think of an example of this that happened a few years ago.

I was planning to move in with my daughter and help her fix up the mother-in-law house behind her house where I would eventually stay. I knew she needed financial help to keep her house and I decided I needed to do this for her. I would pay her rent while I lived there and this would be the help she needed. I had enough money to fix up the little house and when I moved in there, I would pay rent for that.

I also remember hearing the Holy Spirit in my mind speaking to me, but I cut that communication off in case He was cautioning me against this. I just couldn’t chance that the Holy Spirit would tell me not to help my daughter. I didn’t think of it that way at the time, but that is what happened. I made the decision quickly and then as quickly denied it.

It wasn’t until after the whole project became an uphill battle that I let myself remember that I chose to keep my thoughts about this decision to myself. I deliberately chose not to share them with the Holy Spirit, and thus not to ask for purification. I am sure that the reason is that my motives were unclear, and my need to be helpful could not stand up to scrutiny.

I don’t regret what happened and though it cost me a lot of money, money has never been that important to me. I enjoyed being so close to my daughter and my grandkids. All the problems with getting the little house in order were good lessons. And, I will never forget what it means to keep thoughts away from the Holy Spirit. Not that I never did it again, but I did learn an important lesson and it helped me to see what I was doing and to ask for help to stop.

Now I seldom do this and when I do, I catch it pretty quick. I recognize that I have turned to the ego to make my decisions and I turn that around, usually sooner rather than later. I don’t want any private thoughts, none that I would keep from the Holy Spirit. I want open and full communication at all times. This is the only way I can have a completely healed mind.

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Manual for Teachers: IX. Faithfulness, P 2. 12-28-17

IX. Faithfulness, P 2
2 True faithfulness, however, does not deviate. Being consistent, it is wholly honest. Being unswerving, it is full of trust. Being based on fearlessness, it is gentle. Being certain, it is joyous. And being confident, it is tolerant. Faithfulness, then, combines in itself the other attributes of God’s teachers. It implies acceptance of the Word of God and His definition of His Son. It is to Them that faithfulness in the true sense is always directed. Toward Them it looks, seeking until it finds. Defenselessness attends it naturally, and joy is its condition. And having found, it rests in quiet certainty on that alone to which all faithfulness is due.

Journal
Because I have the opportunity as a minister to work with people on a more formal basis, I have seen both sides of faith. I have been both faithless and faithful. Because I have been a Course student for many years and because I am faithful to that study and practice, I have always grown in the direction of faithfulness.

Here is an example. I used to have a student who seemed determined to hold onto his way of thinking even though it was clearly hurting him. He could see the result and see the sense of letting it go, but he could not bring himself to allow the healing he clearly wanted. I had the thought that this was never going to happen and could not understand why he kept coming back.

But, while I did not have faith in him or even in myself, I had faith in the Holy Spirit. If he was in my life, he was there for a reason and I had to trust that. I had to watch my mind for the thoughts that displayed a lack of trust and intolerance and give those thoughts to the Holy Spirit for purification. I had to be careful I did not become defensive toward him. I had to ask for patience and I had to learn to be gentle with him as he struggled with his ego.

He was a perfect student for me in those early days. He and I grew together. I watched the attributes of a teacher of God become stronger in me and I watched as his healing unfolded. It was a humbling experience and one I would not forget. I stumble from time to time, but I understand now something else Jesus explains in the Course. It is not for me to doubt my brother, nor to decide the progression of his path, where it will take him or how quickly. I’ve learned to recognize the perfection of each person’s awakening and all I had to do was learn to keep the faith.

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Study of Text, C 15: IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 6, 12-26-17

IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 6
6 The reason this course is simple is that truth is simple. Complexity is of the ego, and is nothing more than the ego’s attempt to obscure the obvious. You could live forever in the holy instant, beginning now and reaching to eternity, but for a very simple reason. Do not obscure the simplicity of this reason, for if you do, it will be only because you prefer not to recognize it and not to let it go. The simple reason, simply stated, is this: The holy instant is a time in which you receive and give perfect communication. This means, however, that it is a time in which your mind is open, both to receive and give. It is the recognition that all minds are in communication. It therefore seeks to change nothing, but merely to accept everything.

Journal
Well, I guess that I am not as open to the holy instant as I thought. Jesus says that the truth is simple and if it seems complex to me, I must be obscuring it for my own reasons, and that is what I seem to be doing because it doesn’t seem simple to me. He said that I could live forever in the holy instant beginning now but for some simple reason. He said that the holy instant is a time in which you give and receive perfect communication.
That is when I started getting confused and I thought that this is not simple. What is perfect communication? Instead of telling me, he tells me why I don’t have it and probably don’t want it. I would have to keep my mind open to both receive and give. I’m not sure what this looks like. I mean, how do I do this? When am I not doing it?

Well, I guess I have closed my mind to receiving when I ask for healing but it does not seem to occur. I noticed this morning that I feel the tug of the pendulum as it swings back from the excitement and fun of Christmas. I am not depressed, but neither am I happy. I talked to Holy Spirit about this. I want to be at peace again.

But then I feel drawn to the sad story of how everyone is gone and how I feel kind of empty now. The ego also offers me a little drama around how each person reacted during our family gathering. I know that this is just the ego interpretation of each person’s behavior and that I have never been made glad and peaceful by listening to the ego mind.

How interesting, though, the attraction that bit of drama holds for me. I think that is what Jesus may be talking about when he says that I must be open to receive. I want to be at peace but I seem to also be attracted to feelings other than peace, and therefore my mind is not open only to peace and that is the only way I can have it.

He then says that it is the recognition that all minds are in communication. This does not seem uncomplicated to me, so I asked the Holy Spirit to help me understand. I began to understand that on this level, the level of the illusion in which we dream of separation, we each seem to have our own separate mind that is in no way open to other minds. And to be honest, a part of me is grateful for that. That part is clearly the ego mind.

On another level, a level not generally accessed here, our minds are in constant communication. I don’t have a conscious awareness of this and that is part of the reason it doesn’t make sense to me. And, still being somewhat identified with the ego, I am not completely open to this level of communication. Ok, I am beginning to see how I am resisting the holy instant.

Then Jesus says this. It therefore seeks to change nothing, but merely to accept everything. I think I understand this. If I were consciously aware of the communication that occurs between our minds, I would understand why everyone does everything they do. I would know the underlying purpose of life. I would be aware of the absolute love that we all share.

Why then, would I want to change anything? What if everything happening to me is perfect for my true purpose and that everyone else is profoundly in love with me and wants only my highest good, and that I want this for them as well? Would the situations and the words and actions of others be something I would reject and defend against? Or would I simply accept everything in complete peace and joy because I would know all that we experience is in our best interest? I want to know again what it feels like to be so deeply connected to everyone.

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Study of Text, C 15: IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 5, 12-22-17

IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 5
5 I stand within the holy instant, as clear as you would have me. And the extent to which you learn to accept me is the measure of the time in which the holy instant will be yours. I call to you to make the holy instant yours at once, for the release from littleness in the mind of the host of God depends on willingness, and not on time.

Journal

Oooh! I love this: …for the release of littleness in the mind of the host of God depends on willingness, and not on time. I want the holy instant, instantly! Except when I when I want something else instead. I have learned to be very vigilant for those beliefs I have made seem real when they are not actually true at all. Those are the thoughts that must be undone.

It has required some effort on my part to do this, actually, quite a bit of effort over a period of time. So it is the awareness of and the willingness to release those untrue beliefs that takes time… until it doesn’t. My motivation has grown and my dedication is much stronger now and this is because success has proven to me that this effort is worthwhile. I am devoted to the peace of God as my only goal, and undoing the ego is the only way to have the peace of God consistently.

Littleness can come into the mind in all sorts of ways. I did a lot of unaccustomed physical labor yesterday and today I am reminded of the muscles that I don’t use a lot. I turn a certain way or bend a certain way and I feel the discomfort. My first thought is from the ego that insists this means something, and as I dismiss that thought of littleness, I smile in welcome to peace of mind.

I am invited to a Christmas party and I feel reluctant to go. I don’t know most of the people who will be there and I think how uncomfortable that will be. I don’t know what to say or how to interact with these strangers. I let that thought of littleness go as I realize that I don’t have to use my ego mind at this party, and there are no true strangers there, only brothers and sisters in Christ. I can be the quiet listener and I can extend love instead of feeling separate. I notice how peaceful that idea feels. It must be from my Magnitude.

Even as I wonder if my daughter is going to like the gift I gave her, I notice littleness insisting that it won’t be satisfactory and if my gift is not accepted then that means I am not accepted. What a strange thought to hold about my daughter and myself. Clearly, littleness has become far too prevalent in my thoughts, but with this awareness, I can choose to see differently and allow magnitude to replace littleness in my mind.

I cannot be little because I was created by a magnificent God to be an extension of His magnificence. I must, then, be magnificent as well. What a thought! If I am to extend God’s Kingdom forever and beyond limit, I must stop giving attention and belief to these little thoughts. I am willing to do that. My willingness assures my success, sooner rather than later.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Manual for Teachers: IX. Faithfulness, P 1. 12-20-17

IX. Faithfulness
1 The extent of the teacher of God’s faithfulness is the measure of his advancement in the curriculum. Does he still select some aspects of his life to bring to his learning, while keeping others apart? If so, his advancement is limited, and his trust not yet firmly established. Faithfulness is the teacher of God’s trust in the Word of God to set all things right; not some, but all. Generally, his faithfulness begins by resting on just some problems, remaining carefully limited for a time. To give up all problems to one Answer is to reverse the thinking of the world entirely. And that alone is faithfulness. Nothing but that really deserves the name. Yet each degree, however small, is worth achieving. Readiness, as the text notes, is not mastery.

Journal

Faithfulness is the teacher of God’s trust in the Word of God to set all things right; not some, but all.

I started out turning things over to the Holy Spirit when I had tried everything and failed at everything. In desperation, I turned to the Holy Spirit. But doing so, even it was only when I was at my wit’s end, was helpful. I learned that I could trust Him to help me navigate life, and more importantly, I was teaching myself that He was healing my mind and that this was the only answer that was going to work in all things.

After a while, I learned to trust God with my problems and understanding that they came from my confused mind, I learned to trust Him with my mind as well. But I still would pick and choose what I would give to Him. I still did not fully trust and so I decided what I would try to take care of and what I would turn over to God. I still valued the separate will and the me that it represented.

Now there is nothing I think I must hold apart from God. I occasionally come across a belief that has taken root in my mind and that I must turn over and then turn it over again and maybe again. But I know where my healing occurs and I know that I want my mind to be healed. I am not so concerned with the outcome as I used to be, I just want a healed mind. My purpose is not to have a better story, but to undo the story altogether. I am never confused about how this happens, and I know my part is to notice the error and desire that it be corrected. The Holy Spirit does the rest.

I have gone through the period of readiness, and I have gone through the period of achieving trust. Now I am in the period of gaining mastery.

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Study of Text, C 15: IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 43, 12-19-17

IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 4
4 Would you learn how perfect and immaculate is the holy altar on which your Father has placed Himself? This you will recognize in the holy instant, in which you willingly and gladly give over every plan but His. For there lies peace, perfectly clear because you have been willing to meet its conditions. You can claim the holy instant any time and anywhere you want it. In your practice, try to give over every plan you have accepted for finding magnitude in littleness. It is not there. Use the holy instant only to recognize that you alone cannot know where it is, and can only deceive yourself.

Journal

Over and over, Jesus is emphasizing the importance of letting go of our plans for finding magnitude in littleness. God has a plan that works and we can know His plan and live His plan if we let go of our own plan. This time of the year with the holidays upon us, we have a perfect opportunity to notice if we are looking for salvation in our own plan or if we are allowing God to lead us to peace.

I measure my level of surrender by whether or not I am feeling some degree of frantic. This year has been pretty calm for me. I used to make the biggest deal out of Thanksgiving and Christmas. We used to have a big party at our house for New Years. All of that effort, not just the doing of it, but the anxiety in trying to do it perfectly, was beyond stressful.

For one thing, I used these holiday occasions to get something from family and friends and giving to get always takes me out of peace. I wanted to cook the perfect meal at Thanksgiving and buy the perfect gifts at Christmas. I wanted my family to prove their love for me by being there and participating and making me feel special. Of course, I didn’t think of it that way, but clearly, that was my intent.

It put so much pressure on me to do everything perfectly so that I gave enough to get what I needed from them, reassurance that I was OK and that I was loved. Now that I don’t need anything from them the holidays are a different experience. Thanksgiving was a perfect experience of working together to create a meal we enjoyed together. No stress and worry because there was no neediness involved, just love and togetherness.

This year I bought gifts and wrapped them and even sent out a few Christmas cards but there was no stress involved. Getting this right is not my salvation. I have had a few thoughts about whether or not I got a satisfactory gift for this one or that one, but I also noticed the constriction around those thoughts and I chose again.

I did or I didn’t choose the best gift, but I know for sure that I chose the right plan when I let mine go and went with God’s plan. I’m pretty sure He just wants me to go with love. So I bought my gifts with love, I give my gifts with love and I accept my gifts with love, understanding that these objects given from the heart are just symbols of the love I have for these family members.

As a result, I bought and wrapped gifts in peace and joy this year. Even the thought that I spent more money than I intended is just a passing thought. I may not yet be following God’s plan exclusively, but I can tell by the level of peace and happiness I am experiencing that I am learning to make that choice now. I am learning that I want His plan and not my own. This moment that I am in, the only moment there is, is a holy moment in which I feel Love’s Presence. Surely, this is a holy instant.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Manual for Teachers: VII. Generosity, P 2. 12-14-17

VII. Generosity, P 2
2 The teacher of God is generous out of Self interest. This does not refer, however, to the self of which the world speaks. The teacher of God does not want anything he cannot give away, because he realizes it would be valueless to him by definition. What would he want it for? He could only lose because of it. He could not gain. Therefore he does not seek what only he could keep, because that is a guarantee of loss. He does not want to suffer. Why should he ensure himself pain? But he does want to keep for himself all things that are of God, and therefore for His Son. These are the things that belong to him. These he can give away in true generosity, protecting them forever for himself.

Journal
And now we get past the forms of love such as giving money and other material things. Yes, we can show love in this way, but the source of this love is what we value as teachers of God. Let me ask for what cannot be quantified by the world, that which is in the mind of God and therefore in my mind as well. Let me be aware that I have the truly valuable, love, peace, kindness, patience, trust, tolerance. I protect this awareness through giving them.

When I lose my awareness of the attributes of love that are mine, I simply bring them into awareness again. Sometimes it happens like this. Maybe I’m experiencing lack as not enough money. I never ask for more money. I ask that I might know my abundance. If I experience loneliness, I don’t ask for another body to be with me, but that I become aware of my connection to all beings. How could I be lonely then? If I am sick, I don’t ask that the body be healed, but that I know my perfect innocence.

Another way I protect my knowing is to want for others what I temporarily lose sight of. Last night as I was laying in bed hoping sleep would come soon, I texted my son to see how he was doing. He mentioned that he had been sleepless for a couple of nights, a common problem for him. I immediately envisioned sleep finding him every night. I knew this must be true because suffering is never God’s Will. I saw him lying down in his comfy bed and drifting off into sweet dreams, and suddenly it was morning and I realized that in giving what I wanted, I received it.

All the things that really matter, the things that are real are already ours. They have been in our mind since creation and we can enjoy them if we choose to. All we need to do is place our awareness on what we want instead of what we dread or fear. And those things that matter cannot be lost through giving. I can give away money, and that money is gone, but the idea that sourced the money cannot be lost in the giving.

Ideas are not used up, and, in fact, they increase in the giving. And ideas leave not their source. So I can give and give the idea of abundance or even the effects of the belief in abundance and I as long as I trust in abundance, the idea will produce more effects as needed. Those who hold an awareness of God’s Love in them and as them, can, indeed, afford to be generous. In fact, they could not be anything else.

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