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Lesson 211 7-29-18

I really love this one.

Lesson 211

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.

(191) I am the holy Son of God Himself.

In silence and in true humility I seek God’s glory, to behold
it in the Son whom He created as my Self.

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.

Journal

I think of being free from the body, of being as God created me, and I cannot think what this could mean. What would I look like? Of course, that is not a real question because ‘looking like’ implies eyes to see and eyes are part of the body and the body doesn’t exist. There seems to be a tendency to assume I will leave the flesh and blood idea behind and discover a different kind of body. My imagination fails me as I try to envision myself as not a body of any sort.

I try to think of myself as an idea in the Mind of God, and that is unsettling. I suppose I think that I could stop being thought of. But Jesus says that ideas leave not their source. I’m not sure why this whole thing about what I am has arisen in my mind. Maybe it is because I have been listening to Carol Howe and she refers to us as an activity or a process, and that brought up some disturbing feelings for me.

Or maybe I am looking at this right now because I seem to know that I am not the body, and the ego mind cannot grasp this and doesn’t want to. This morning, it failed to distract me and so is falling back on its usual guilt and fear tactics. As I realize that this is what has happened, the idea of ‘not form’ is not longer disquieting. It is interesting, and I feel a thrill of anticipation at the thought. I am willing to know what I am.

Past Entry

I am, with us all, the holy Son of God. I and all of us together, the family of God, we are the one Son who was created as an extension of God, who has never changed. I remember who I am as I release all that I am not. I remember who I am as I release all that everyone else is not. It is true for all, this knowing, or it is not true at all.

We are not guilty, not vulnerable, not afraid. There is no jealousy, no confusion, no sickness, no suffering, and no death. There is no one who is separate from me. These beliefs in guilt, vulnerability, fear, death, are what I must relinquish if I am to know my Self because they are not part of me. I am so accustomed to believing what I see with my eyes and what I feel with my bodily senses, that it seems insane to deny these things, but that is exactly what I must do.

Vulnerability is the very opposite of my reality, as is guilt and fear. I am immortal, so what could death mean to me? I have all knowledge and complete certainty so how could I be confused? All of these things are experiences that I (we) chose. In our power as the Son of God, our choice unfolded in all its impossibilities and we have been in the midst of this choice for eons of time, and for no time.

This is what I must accept if I am to end this dream of separation. As I accept it more fully, the business of releasing all that is false gets a little easier. Today, I look at my mind and I see acceptance and I look at my life and I see witnesses to this acceptance. I see how much happier and more fulfilled I am in my life.

I see people, all sorts of people, expressing love and kindness toward me. I see guilt and fear falling away, that is, certain forms of guilt and fear in my life that are no longer there. I used to see the fear that my retirement would be financially difficult, that I would suffer lack. That all went away and has not returned. I see those thoughts sometimes, but don’t believe them so they have no effect.

On the other hand, I see thoughts in my mind that need to be corrected. I see the worry that arises around my children. Most recently, I have gained weight again (sigh) and I wonder if I will ever let that go. I have a little war going on in my mind. I want to lose weight, and evidently, I do not. And I want to quit using my body as a battle ground between opposing desires.

It seems like such a shallow thing, and the ego argues that I should not even care. But Jesus says that a broken body shows that the mind is not healed, and this is, in my mind, a broken body. This business of believing I am helpless before this problem, in believing that I am victim to a body that has a mind of its own, or even that I am victim to my own false ego desires, is ridiculous and yet persistent.

What I see is that weight gain is for me symbolic of all resistance to accepting the mantle of Divinity, and that is my purpose now. It is no more and no less important than any other symbol of resistance. I want to know myself as my Father’s Son and yet I am evidently still afraid to accept my place in Him. As in all things, I choose to release this to the Holy Spirit. I ask that He heal my mind. I long to remember my Self and to remember my God.

Excerpts from the past

I am the holy Son of God Himself. Knowing this to be true is the whole point of everything I do in my life; every day of being vigilant for my thoughts and in being willing to look with the Holy Spirit, even though it is sometimes frightening to do so; the reason I study the Course and read related books and do the lessons. I am moving ever closer to knowing this truth, that I am the Son of God Himself. There is little point in doing any of this unless I am willing to know this truth.

And so I also practice every day sitting with the idea that I am as I was created, the Holy Son of God. I just try it on and play with the idea. I think about being a creator and what that means. Yes, I have become willing to accept total responsibility for every thing that happens in my life, but I have been unwilling to admit that this is a form of creation. It has been creation gone amuck, but the same power that creates also miscreates. It could not happen if I were not the Son of God.

The Course points out that while I have not created anything that is real, it is not without power. I have made illusions but my belief in the illusions is very strong, and the dream state they have left me in is very real to me. I will not wake from this state by denying my power and denying my Sonship. Even in my dreams, I am the Son of God Himself. I am determined to awaken to the full knowledge of what that means.

Me: Holy Spirit, my deepest desire is to remember what it means to be the Son of God. Please help me to see differently, to know that I am asleep and not to mistake this slumber for life. I am also willing to learn with joy. I think you have been showing me this is possible, but I cannot seem to hold onto that. I find myself to be in tears often.

Holy Spirit: Precious child, holy Son of God, your deepest desire is also the desire of your Father. You cannot but have what is the will of both. If it seems not to be true it is only because that is not your only desire, but do not despair. It will become your only desire. Every day that you spend with Me is strengthening your resolve and loosening your hold on every other desire.

Indeed, it is not necessary that this be sad, or hard. We spent an entire day laughing and that was very joyful was it not? It is an ego notion that hard work is painful work. This work can be joyful and will be joyful when you decide that guilt will no longer drive your actions. Guilt is a decision you made and has nothing to do with God. I invite you to release this iron grip you have on the need to precede every healing with guilty thoughts and subsequent pain. If you will open your hand, I will take this from you. We could spend every day in gentle laughter.

Me: Holy Spirit, I am willing. But even as I say this, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I don’t feel especially sad about it. It is as if there is a disconnect somewhere. I don’t really understand this.

Holy Spirit: As more things come up for healing, you will have emotional releases like this. Sometimes you may feel pain with it or grief, but those will be caused not from releasing ego thoughts but by resistance to releasing them. Either way, you are doing your work. Thank you.

Me: And I thank You for being always with me. Thank you for your clear and ever present Voice.

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My Rules for Decision Plan for the Day

Today, I will make no decisions with the ego mind.

One of the Pathways of Light courses that I am doing with mind healing partners is centered around the Obstacles to Peace section of the Course. I forgot just how important this section is. I just finished reading this.

“The dedication to death and to its sovereignty is but the solemn vow, the promise made in secret to the ego never to lift this veil, not to approach it nor even to suspect it is there. This is the secret bargain made with the ego to keep what lies beyond the veil forever blotted out and unremembered. Here is your promise never to allow union to call you out of separation; the great amnesia in which the memory of God seems quite forgotten; the cleavage of you Self from you;-the fear of God, the final step in your dissociation.”

Well, we are breaking that contract, aren’t we? We who are studying the Course and who have dedicated our lives to undoing the ego, have taken the first step, and maybe many steps toward lifting the veil. The way we are doing this is through forgiveness. It is the only way to do it. The lifting of the veil must be done in union and union cannot occur where there is fear and guilt.

“But first, lift up your eyes and look on your brother in innocence born of complete forgiveness of his illusions, and through the eyes of faith that sees the not.”

He tells us that we fear God because we fear our brother, and that no one reaches love with fear beside him. He says this:

“Brother, you need forgiveness of your brother, for you will share in madness or in Heaven together. And you will raise your eyes in faith together, or not at all.

The course I am taking right now is called Remembering to Choose Peace, and one of the things it says in summary of this section is this:

“Jesus wants us to understand that we will receive the gift of innocence we give our brother. When we join together with our brother instead of separating, we are able to go beyond the darkest veil – the fear of God. We are asked to watch very carefully how we are seeing our brother – through the eyes of guilt or innocence, because we will always give as we receive and receive as we give.”

This is why I had to forgive my illusions of the character, Donald Trump. His character represents the ego in a way that made me turn away from him and that can only be because I recognize within myself what I see in him that scares me. And yet, I cannot be redeemed if I hold him guilty. As long as I keep him guilty, I cannot enter the presence of God.

So every day, I look at his picture and I read the things he has done today. I watch my thoughts and my feelings and I offer the Holy Spirit each one that is not forgiving so that both Donald and I can be free. I truly understand that I cannot be free if he is not free. This is why loving Donald Trump is part of my plan for the day every day.

The only thing that interferes with this love is unforgiven illusions of him. So that is part of my plan for the day as well. Let me forgive my illusions of him, for surely, it is the Christ I look upon and I will not be blinded to that.

I will make no decisions with my ego mind and I will have the day God wants for me.

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Manual for Teachers: 13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P2. 7-16-18

13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P 2
2 It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give. What can the sacrifice of nothing mean? It cannot mean that you have less because of it. There is no sacrifice in the world’s terms that does not involve the body. Think a while about what the world calls sacrifice. Power, fame, money, physical pleasure; who is the “hero” to whom all these things belong? Could they mean anything except to a body? Yet a body cannot evaluate. By seeking after such things the mind associates itself with the body, obscuring its Identity and losing sight of what it really is.

Journal
Jesus is telling us that while we associate ourselves with the body, we will obscure our true identity. This is the reason we want to stop doing this. What keeps us identifying with the body is the belief that to stop is going to require a sacrifice on our part. We do believe that the world offers us something of value.

As a body in the world, we see ourselves as seekers. in pleasure through winning, having a lot of money, eating, having power, and being famous. But do these things actually satisfy? Do they bring us joy and peace? The common belief is that they do. Here is an example from my own life.

I have gone through a lot of changes when it comes to money. I have had times when finding a dime on the ground was cause for celebration, that’s how broke I was. I had no job and bills to pay and a child for whom I had to provide. I had not yet found the Course but soon would. At that time, though, I thought that if only I had some money, I would be ok. I would be safe and happy.

I also have had times when I had more money than I needed, times when money was not an issue for me. And yet, I still worried about money, about what would happen in the future when I retired and no longer had a source for money. Even though over the years my income continued to rise, I never felt safe about it. I was always anxious about not having enough.

This feeling of never having enough slowly changed though practicing abundance as the Course helps us to see it. But before the Course, money, whether I had it or did not have it, failed to bring me peace of mind, and the only pleasure I found in it was fleeting. Even the pleasure of spending the money and having things was a disappointment. So many times I bought things I thought I couldn’t live without only to discover the pleasure of having them soon faded.

What turned out to be of value was the slow and methodical change of mind that I underwent as I studied and practiced the Course. I learned that I was abundant regardless of the numbers in my bank account or what I owned. I learned that money wasn’t the issue but rather it was a belief in lack and loss that was tormenting me and robbing me of my peace of mind and my happiness. Now that I actually am retired, I don’t have very much money at all, but I have peace of mind and I never lack for anything I need. I have something much more valuable than money. I have faith in my innate abundance.

I can do this with all the things the ego mind finds valuable in the world. None of them are of the least value. The only thing of value here is the opportunity to recognize the world has no value and thus to make a different choice about what I strive for. I am now dedicated to living A Course in Miracles as much as I can. I am dedicated to healing my mind through forgiveness, and I am devoted to my brothers. I use each moment to extend love and to join with others. This is something of true value and does not, in my experience, require any sacrifice.

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Study of Text, C 15: IX. The Holy Instant and the Attraction of God, P7. 7-5-18

IX. The Holy Instant and the Attraction of God, P 7
7 When the body ceases to attract you, and when you place no value on it as a means of getting anything, then there will be no interference in communication and your thoughts will be as free as God’s. As you let the Holy Spirit teach you how to use the body only for purposes of communication, and renounce its use for separation and attack which the ego sees in it, you will learn you have no need of a body at all. In the holy instant there are no bodies, and you experience only the attraction of God. Accepting it as undivided you join Him wholly, in an instant, for you would place no limits on your union with Him. The reality of this relationship becomes the only truth that you could ever want. All truth is here.

Journal
How do I get to the point where my thoughts are as free as God’s? The answer is to stop caring about the body at all, evidently. I would have to stop using it to get what I want and stop using it to attack. I would have to use it only to communicate. When I stop using it for separation I will learn I have no need of a body at all. So the first thing for me to do is to be certain I understand how I am misusing the body now.

For a while, I was using the body to disrupt communication. I was trying to be a good Course student when it came to politics but the best I could do was to keep my mouth shut and pretend nothing was happening. The issue with the immigrant children being taken from their parents forced me to look at my true thoughts and feelings.

I saw the outrage in my mind. I used the body to speak against, not just the policy, but the policymakers. This is using the body for separation and attack. It cost me my peace. So, I had to change my mind. I know that the only true communication is love and that was what I decided on. I still cannot agree with the policy, but I have spent several days praying for the policymakers.

I do this by knowing the truth about them, knowing that they, too, are love just as I am. I envision them being at peace and extending love as is our function. I realized that I must love and support them in every way possible, not the decisions they make in the world, but them, these very holy creations of God, my dear brothers and sisters. I support them on their inward journey to awakening.

At first, it was something I very much wanted to do because it was the right thing to do. Now I find that the love just flows out of me naturally and I bask in it as it does. It is purely a miracle. The love has nothing to do with their behaviors or words. It is like the sun, shining on them without regard to any of that. And I receive this love regardless of my current behavior.

He tells us that in the holy instant there are no bodies, and we experience only the attraction of God. Can I be without my body while still here? I think I can. As I learn to disregard the body as having any personal value to me, I believe I can have that experience. Perhaps it will be during meditation at first, a deep meditation where I lose all interest in the body, and who knows, maybe it will begin to happen at will. I wonder. Or maybe we get a reflection of this union with God while we are here. Even that would be wondrous.

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Manual for Teachers: 13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P1. 7-3-18

13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P 1
1 Although in truth the term sacrifice is altogether meaningless, it does have meaning in the world. Like all things in the world, its meaning is temporary and will ultimately fade into the nothingness from which it came when there is no more use for it. Now its real meaning is a lesson. Like all lessons it is an illusion, for in reality there is nothing to learn. Yet this illusion must be replaced by a corrective device; another illusion that replaces the first, so both can finally disappear. The first illusion, which must be displaced before another thought system can take hold, is that it is a sacrifice to give up the things of this world. What could this be but an illusion, since this world itself is nothing more than that?

Journal
This is a very clear explanation of how we rid ourselves of the ego illusions. We let them be replaced with an illusion that is nearer to the truth, one that is opposite of the ego illusion, a happier illusion. The ego mind sees this as a sacrifice. In order to have the happier illusion, I will be asked to sacrifice my right to be miserable, but miserable on my own terms. I used to fall for that, but now I understand that I am not giving up anything. I am simply accepting the truth that I am not the ego and so I lose nothing.

Here is how I was thinking about this. When the immigration crisis occurred at the border, and all the children were taken from their parents, this felt awful to me. I could not believe that anyone could be that heartless and uncaring. I felt disgust for those that chose this course of action and I felt grief for the parents and children affected by such a cruel policy. I felt outraged that this could be happening in our country. This was the illusion I was asked to sacrifice.

Even though it was an awful illusion and very painful, I resisted letting it go. While I was thinking from my ego mind, it felt like I was right and they were wrong and there could be no other way to see it. I felt like they should be punished. I felt like the immigrants involved were greatly wronged and would suffer for it for the rest of their lives no matter how this turned out. And yet, I clung to this illusion making it more real with every thought and the waves of emotion I fed it.

But, I am not completely insane anymore. I have learned that there is always another way to see. It is still an illusion, but it is a better, happier and truer illusion. I couldn’t at that point imagine how I could make this shift. Luckily, my only part is to be willing to sacrifice my own illusion, that is, the illusion I made with the ego mind, and the Holy Spirit would give me a different illusion. It took me several days to make that decision. Once made, the Holy Spirit gave me a great deal of reinforcement through the words in the Course and the encouragement of others who had gone before me.

The actual shift itself was a miracle. It occurred instantly upon my acceptance and my new illusion was fully in my mind. I remembered that the only way to heal is through love. I was amazed at myself for forgetting that and for thinking that anger and fear was an appropriate response in any situation. It was as if I had left a nightmare and awakened to a joyful return to something much closer to reality.

I began to realize that I had a part to play in this new illusion. I began to see the people involved in the immigration policy as they truly are, perfect, whole, part of God and part of me because I, too, am part of God. That was what I focused on. I gave them my love and support. The harsher they appeared the more I loved them because that is the only solution and the only cure. I began to see them as dear brothers who were struggling and their actions and words as a call for help, and all I wanted to do was to help.

I saw the immigrants and their children differently as well. Instead of seeing them as victims and vulnerable, I remembered that they too are Children of God, part of God and safe in God. No illusion can change that. I saw them as strong with the strength of God given them in their creation. Stories of victimhood cannot alter creation. I sent them my faith, my support, and my love, just as I did the policymakers.

I willingly made the sacrifice of my ego illusion for the Holy Spirit’s illusion. In His illusion we are all given the opportunity to further awaken the sleeping Son, and also to be of actual help within the illusion. I continue to extend love every time I think of this situation and I extend it equally to both the president and his staff as well as to the immigrants. One is not greater or lesser than the other. They are all part of God’s Creation and deserve our love and support as they struggle to awaken, just as we are struggling. If my mind strays to dark thoughts, I immediately turn to the light, to the Holy Spirit in my mind and I am renewed.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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