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Gentle Healing Journal Day 62 11-30-18

Journal for Day 62
Lesson 58
1 (36) My holiness envelops everything I see.

“Seen through understanding eyes, the holiness of the world is all I see, for I can picture only the thoughts I hold about myself.”

What do I see with my eyes? I see images I have made from my thoughts therefore I am always seeing myself mirrored in the world. If I see guilty people it is because I believe in guilt. If I see frightened people or frightening situations, it is because I believe in fear. What I believe in is not real, but it is what I will see and experience for as long as I believe in it.

When I forgive what is not true, I will see only love because love is all that will be left. When the lesson says that my holiness envelops everything I see, it does not mean that I make everything holy. It means that my forgiveness reveals the holiness of all things.

2 (37) My holiness blesses the world.

“As I recognize my holiness, so does the holiness of the world shine forth for everyone to see.”

Because there is nothing that is separate from God’s Creation, what It is must be shared and what is shared can be recognized by all that choose to see the truth. The joy and the peace are right there for everyone to see. I’ve noticed that I am aware of this joy and this peace when I turn from the ego version of the world. Sometimes that feels hard but only because I have chosen to believe in it. As soon as I forgive this choice, I see the world differently. The world didn’t change; I did.

3 (38) There is nothing my holiness cannot do.

“My holiness is unlimited in its power to heal, because it is unlimited in its power to save. What is there to be saved from except illusions?”

When I forgive it is always only illusions that I forgive. Nothing God created needs forgiveness and nothing exists except as God created it. What I see is an image I have made from my thoughts. Change my thoughts and the image changes.

Where once I saw sickness, now I see healing. Where once I saw hatred, now I see love. Always it is my mind that determines what I see and a healed mind is very holy and makes only images that reflect that holiness.

4 (39) My holiness is my salvation.

“Once I have accepted my holiness, nothing can make me afraid.”

It is guilt that causes fear and it is my holiness that undoes the belief in guilt. My fearlessness is the gift of God to me and to the world. This gift is given and so is already ours. There is nothing we have to do to earn it. All that is required is that we accept it in place of what we have made instead.

5 (40) I am blessed as a Son of God.

“My Father supports me, protects me, and directs me in all things. His care for me is infinite, and is with me forever.”

If I am experiencing anything that is not good, is not joyful and peaceful, I must be dreaming. It can only be an hallucination because it did not come from my Father and only what my Father gives is real. This is not a hope; this is a fact. I am eternally blessed as His Son.

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Gentle Healing Journal Day 61 11-29-18

Journal for Day 62
Lesson 58
1 (31) I am not the victim of the world I see.

“How can I be the victim of a world that can be completely undone if I so choose?”

How is it that I choose to walk out of this world? This morning, I joined with the Holy Spirit in choosing the kind of day I would have. This is what was decided.

Today I will make no decisions by myself.

Today, I am going to make every effort to remember that I am not a victim of my life but the maker of this life, the scriptwriter. I will enjoy the story. If the script becomes one of suffering, I will remember to ask Jesus what thought error needs correction, allow it to be corrected and feel gratitude for the events that pointed to the error in thinking.

If I make no decisions by myself, this is the day that will be given me.

Later this morning, I was at the eye doctor. I had to get my eyes dilated, something I don’t like doing. I also don’t particularly like my doctor. He doesn’t really listen and he doesn’t like to be questioned or disagreed with. I noticed my mood and realized that I was not having the day I decided on. I had to wait for my eyes to dilate so I took advantage of that time to talk to Jesus.

I put my hand on my heart and called to him. When I felt connected, I told Jesus how I was feeling and that I recognized that I was holding a grievance against this doctor and that I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to free my mind of ego thinking. I asked Jesus what this was really about. I knew right away that it was about not feeling safe. I didn’t feel safe with this doctor and that made me feel vulnerable.

All ego thoughts and situations are a result of the tiny mad idea in which we chose to see ourselves as separate from God and the resultant fear and guilt. We just play that moment out over and over in different ways. In seeing myself separate from God, I felt vulnerable for the first time and that is all that was happening here, this time with the doctor playing the part God played.

But nothing actually happened in the tiny mad idea other than a fantasy. I am not ever vulnerable. I am always safe. The ego is what feels vulnerable and it is the ego that seeks to defend itself. I am not the ego and unless I choose to identify with the ego, I do not have to feel endangered. I gave the Holy Spirit the belief that I am what I made.

I accepted His correction and saw myself outside of and apart from the body in that chair waiting for her eyes to dilate. All the anxiety and the resentment just fell away. Nice. This is how I step outside the world I made. This is how I leave behind the idea of victimhood. I went to the doctor for my yearly exam and left with a prescription for new glasses and a peaceful mind.

2 (32) I have invented the world I see.

“I made up the prison in which I see myself.”

I made up the idea of a body and I made up the idea of a world of separate things that have no connection to each other. I made up the idea that I could somehow be separate from my Source. Because of the power of our mind, all that could be imagined was imagined and we have been exploring it since.

But no matter how extraordinary the illusion, it is still an illusion. I can be free of it simply by not thinking it anymore. That is what I am learning now and slowly, as I understand what thoughts are perpetuating the illusion, I choose to release them and they are undone.

3 (33) There is another way of looking at the world.

“I would look upon the world as it is, and see it as a place where the Son of God finds his freedom.”

I have used the illusion as a prison for the Son of God, but there is another way to see it. As I let more and more of the imprisoning thoughts be corrected, the world takes on a different meaning. Each person in my life and each situation in my life mirrors the beliefs in my mind and lets me see which I want to keep and which I am ready to let go. What held us prisoner now becomes the way to freedom.

4 (34) I could see peace instead of this.

This morning at the doctor’s office, the world felt like a prison. I was stuck with a doctor I didn’t trust and who seemed arrogant and uncaring. The world felt dangerous to me. Because I have learned to choose peace above all else, I let my mind be corrected. All the judgmental thoughts and feelings fell away as I decided that I wanted everyone there to feel loved. This was the best checkup I have ever had. They took their time and did a good job. The world is a place of war if my mind is at war. It is a place of peace if my mind is peaceful. It’s up to me.

5(35) My mind is part of God’s. I am very holy.

“I begin to understand the holiness of all living things, including myself, and their oneness with me.”

My doctor is very holy. The technicians are very holy. I am very holy. We are all part of God and so we are all very holy. That is just a fact. Everything else that I seem to experience is an illusion. That we are all part of each other and part of God is the only thing that is true.

PS This is the first time in two years that I can see clearly and that I don’t suffer eye fatigue. I think that my past judgment and resultant distrust of the doctor is the reason I was having so much trouble getting a correct prescription. I had gone in with a loveless attitude and my thoughts were projected outward as this situation. This year I let that all go and the prescription I received was absolutely perfect. It has made a big difference in my life.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 60 11-28-18

Journal for Day 60
Lesson 56

1 (26) My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.

Over and over, Jesus tells us that it is our attack thoughts that hurt us. This morning as I was making my coffee, I noticed that the mind was chattering away. I stopped the runaway thoughts and looked at them. They were all attack thoughts. I am convinced that all ego thoughts are attack thoughts. Either they are blatant attack thoughts or they are more subtle attack thoughts.

Even the happier thoughts attack my invulnerability. For instance, the thought that I am getting really good at catching these thoughts implies that I am not perfect and that I am not yet safe. And yet, even with all of these many attack thoughts, God has kept my inheritance safe for me. So I am actually only attacking my sense of invulnerability. Why then is it important that I do anything about this? It is because what I believe is true for me and my belief in my invulnerability is causing me to suffer greatly. I am tired of suffering and want to remember my true thoughts.

2 (27) Above all else I want to see.

“Recognizing that what I see reflects what I think I am, I realize that vision is my greatest need.”

To see myself as I really am, I must let go of the image I have made of myself. This is my job right now, letting go of what I see so that vision will show me what I am. The ego mind is especially active right now. Because of the body issues that are happening, the ego senses that I am susceptible to its fear thoughts. How perfect that these are the lessons I am working on.

(28) Above all else, I want to see differently.

“While I see the world as I see it now, truth cannot enter my awareness.”

Jesus is not asking me to wait until the world is different in order to be happy and safe. He is saying that there is a world that I can see right now if I am willing to look past the world I presently see. The world I see right now is a reflection of the ego attack thoughts in my mind. As I am willing to give up those thoughts and embrace the true thoughts in my mind, the world will look different to me. Just as my ego thoughts are reflected on the world, God’s thoughts if held consistently in my mind will reflect His perfect love. I believe this is true because it is what Jesus promises in the Course.

My faith is reinforced as I consider those who have gone before me and proven that it is true.

4 (29) God is in everything I see.

“God is still everywhere and in everything forever. And we who are part of Him will yet look past all appearances, and recognize the truth beyond them all.”

It can seem to be impossible that God is in everything I see. That seems too inclusive to be true. There are some pretty awful things out there, and yet, to be true it must be inclusive. If there is anything in which God does not exist, then I am not safe and therefore I am not as God created me. I will not be fooled by the images I have made. Behind them is the truth reflected and I can choose to see that instead.

5(30) God is in everything I see because God is in my mind.

“I have not lost the knowledge of Who I am because I have forgotten it. It has been kept for me in the Mind of God, Who has not left His Thoughts.”

Ahh, now we see how it is that my true identity is held safe for me. It is being kept for me in the Mind of God. And God has not left me. This passage calls me a Thought in the Mind of God. How could I be any safer than this? Thought cannot be sick or guilty; it cannot be in pain nor can it die. And Thought in the Mind of God can only be what God is or it could not be in God. I am one with all of God’s Thoughts and one with God. I will remember this and everything I have believed before will fall away. My only job now is to allow myself to be convinced that this is what I want instead of what I made to take its place.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 59 11-27-18

Journal for Day 59
Lesson 55

1 (21) I am determined to see things differently.

“I am determined to see the witnesses to the truth in me…”

I am inundated with “proof” that I am not as God created me. That is what this world is all about, being something I am not. So I am going to have to put some effort into seeing differently, to seeing witnesses to the truth. I am determined to do this now, and from now on. This is an interesting time for me to choose this focus.

My body is not at its best and my finances are strained because of the costs associated with the body issues. These circumstances alone point to the illusion rather than the truth. On the other hand, I see all of this and recognize that it is an illusion. There was a time when I would have gotten lost in the story and suffered intense anxiety and that isn’t happening now, so this points to the truth.

2 (22) What I see is a form of vengeance.

“It is my own attack thoughts that give rise to this picture.”

That I have chosen to believe in separation guarantees attack thoughts. If there are two, there is competition and the idea of competition is the idea of attack. As I was writing about this, I received a message on Facebook to beware of friending a particular person because he is a hacker I need to be afraid of. It’s a hoax and generally I just say so and think nothing of it. But this time, I saw it differently. I saw it as a form of vengeance.

This hoax is an attack and the desire to defend is an attack. I, of course, checked with Snopes to be sure it is not real because that is normal caution. But to react in fear and to encourage fear is just feeding into the ego thought system and making it stronger. Not that I haven’t done exactly that in the past, because I have done so and probably continue to do so in a million little ways. But I thought this might be a good time to turn this particular form of vengeance around and offer peace instead.

So many times we are challenged in our lives with lack and loss, pain and sickness, and broken relationships. As Course students we might look for the wrong thought in an effort to avoid these situations in the future. Sometimes we can even see the link between a thought and its effect, but often, I think, it is just a general belief in attack and defense that causes the situations we come to regret. This time when the hoax showed up, I chose to do more than ignore it or call it out. I chose to meet it with peace.

3 (23) I can escape from this world by giving up attack thoughts.

“Herein lies salvation, and nowhere else.”

Talk about simplifying the whole thing! All that I have to do is notice these attack thoughts and realize I am no longer interested in them. The Holy Spirit will do Its part and eventually, the mind snaps to the fact that all attack thoughts are the same and none are true or real or valuable. This is the path out of the world I made.

4 (24) I do not perceive my own best interests.

“I am willing to follow the Guide God has given me to find out what my own best interests are, recognizing that I cannot perceive them by myself.”

There are a few things in ACIM that I have fully accepted. One of them is that I know that I am never a victim of the world I see.  That is never up for debate; I simply am not. This is another of those. At no time do I perceive my own best interest if I am depending on the ego mind to make that decision.

The ego does not know who I am. The ego thinks it is me and so will always assume what is good for the ego is good for me. This will only bind me more closely to the world if I accept it as true. I do not, so if I realize I have inadvertently asked the ego for help, I put that advice aside and ask the Holy Spirit instead.

5 (25) I do not know what anything is for.

“To me, the purpose of everything is to prove that my illusions about myself are real.”

The entire world, including this separate self I think of as me, was made for the purpose of providing me with an experience outside reality. The only way this could work is if I entered it with temporary amnesia. I have to forget everything that is true and real if I am to have an experience of separation. There is another purpose to the world and it is just waiting for me to be ready to see it. I am ready to withdraw my own purpose now and as I do so, the real world is revealed. So far this has occurred slowly a little at a time. It is hard not to be impatient.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 58 11-26-18

Journal for Day 58
Lesson 54

1 (16) I have no neutral thoughts.

“As the world I see arises from my thinking errors, so will the real world rise before my eyes as I let my errors be corrected.”

These lessons clearly indicate that we will undo the guilt and fear that blankets the world we have made so that we can experience it as it can be, a joyful and loving experience. And just as clearly, we will do that by releasing the thoughts that are the cause of what we see in the world now and embracing our true thoughts.

2 (17) I see no neutral things.

“What I see witnesses to what I think.”

What is going on in my world right now? This will tell me something about my thoughts. It will tell me if my thoughts are true or false because everything that occurs in my little corner of the world is an effect of my thoughts. And everything that occurs in all the world is the effect of our thoughts.

(18) I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing.

“As my thoughts of separation call to the separation thoughts of others, so my real thoughts awaken the real thoughts in them.”

It will also tell me what kinds of thoughts we have because I am also responsible for everything that appears in this world, “I” being part of the whole. And since I am responsible for what is seen as the world, I have the power to affect the whole. As I allow correction in my own personal mind, that correction is shared by all.

4 (19) I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

“I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do teaches all the universe. A Son of God cannot think or speak or act in vain. He cannot be alone in anything. It is therefore in my power to change every mind along with mine, for mine is the power of God.”

What else can I say about this? How could it be any clearer?

5 (20) I am determined to see.

I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the Will of God are one.

Has this occurred for me yet? No, not fully. But I have seen the effects of being determined to see. I have seen my world change and I have seen that change affect those around me. I am highly motivated to continue and am more determined than ever to see.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 57 11-25-18

Journal for Day 57
Lesson 53

1 (11) My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.

“I have real thoughts as well as insane ones. I can therefore see a real world, if I look to my real thoughts as my guide for seeing.”

It is essential that we acknowledge the unreality of the world we see and the life we seem to live within this world. But if we were left there with nothing to believe in we would be trading one nightmare for another. We are not left there. All that is required to let go of the world we see now is to let go of all attack thoughts. And the way to see the real world is to allow these thoughts to be replaced with my real thoughts. I see the world differently now than I used to. It is not the real world yet, but even in the slow steady pace I have chosen for myself, I see a dramatic difference.

2 (12) I am upset because I see a meaningless world.

“I am grateful that this world is not real, and that I need not see it at all unless I choose to value it.”

Even now while I seem to live in this world, I notice how different it seems to me since I have been letting go of untrue thoughts. For instance, I used to value my special relationships. I would always say yes no matter what was asked of me, no matter how much I didn’t want to say yes. The value I put on the specialness of my relationship made it hard to have a real relationship with those I loved and cared about.

Last year, though, I had the opportunity to look at a relationship with a dear friend again and decide what it means to me. My friend wanted me to do something that I didn’t want to do. I had been working on detaching from these special relationships, and it seemed to be working. So when I was asked to do this, I said no.

She was very angry with me because in her mind, I was her solution. I was afraid she would hold a grudge and I knew this could disrupt our relationship permanently, but I meant no so I said no and I stuck with it. There was a time when I could not have said no. Then there was a time when I could not have stuck with my answer.

Absolutely, there was a time when I would have been so upset with the situation that I would have suffered. This time, though, I wasn’t upset. I checked for sure that I wasn’t being selfish, and I watched my thoughts and feelings and released those that were not my real thoughts. In a couple of weeks, she had found a solution and was over her anger.

I’m glad it worked out like that because I love her dearly, and I am happy that I have seen, to some degree at least, a world beneath the world that is projected from the ego fear and guilt thoughts. This was one instance and there are others, but I am still working on this. I know how to release old beliefs and I am learning to be open and receptive to the truth regardless of what seems to be going on in the story of Myron. From this happy result, I can extrapolate a future world that is not driven by fear and guilt.

3 (13) A meaningless world engenders fear.

Just being in the world is a scary proposition. There is no stability, no grounds for trust. Whatever I choose to believe in and value in the world will be overturned and leave me feeling hopeless and alone. But living in the world without believing in it is entirely different. Every frightening and discouraging idea can be seen differently when its unreality is established in the mind. Even the possibility of its lack of reality opens the mind to a different belief and therefore a different effect.

4 (14) God did not create a meaningless world.

“Let me remember the power of my decision, and recognize where I really abide.”

The world we see every day is meaningless and since God did not create the meaningless, this world cannot be real. It cannot exist. I must be dreaming. As long as I decide to continue the dream, it will appear to be real to me and I will suffer the effects as if they are real. But, the power of my decision will release me from this nightmare of my own making. I decided on the world I see and I will decide otherwise. I don’t have to go anyplace to be in the real world. I only have to withdraw my belief in what is meaningless and decide to believe only the truth. Working on it.

5 (15) My thoughts are images that I have made.

“Whatever I see reflects my thoughts. It is my thoughts that tell me where I am and what I am.”

Could Jesus make this any clearer? I don’t see how unless he described the process in which we use our thoughts to give form to our wishes. Oh yeah, he does that in Lesson 325. Right now I am content to place my attention on the simple fact that it is done. The split mind has been driven mad by its own absurd reasoning and the world as we see it now is the effect. Even so, I can use my real thoughts to change how I see the world. I do this as I continue to recognize the insane separation thoughts for what they are and choose God instead.

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Gentle Healing Journal Day 56 11-22-18

Journal for Day 56
Lesson 52

1(6) I am upset because I see what is not there.
I understand this on two levels. On the level I am calling the world, I perceive everything according to the interpretation the ego gives it. For instance, suppose I found out that my friends went to the show together and didn’t invite me. If I used the ego mind to interpret this, I would believe my friends had abandoned me and maybe they didn’t really like me anyway.

If I used my holy mind (the Holy Spirit) to interpret this situation I would be happy that they had a good time and enjoyed each other’s company because that is what Love does. The ego’s interpretation showed me something that was not there. The Holy Spirit’s interpretation showed me Love, which is always there.

On a higher level, I see a world that represents separation. Everything is separate from every other thing and this puts all things in competition with each other. It creates conflict and strife. There is jealousy and rage and guilt. On this level, I acknowledge that nothing I see with my eyes actually exists; I see only the projections of ideas in my mind. If I am upset it can only be that I see what is not there. Reality is not upsetting.

2(7) I see only the past.
Again, I am seeing this on two levels. From within the world, I might be upset that I wasn’t invited to be with friends. If so, it is because I have learned from life that friends should not abandon you. Perhaps I learned this from listening to adults with this mindset, or from books I read or TV shows. I think of the mind as this big computer that holds all these learned behaviors and interpretation of behaviors.

When something happens that triggers a search through the ego mind, for instance, my friends didn’t invite me along, I find memories from the past that seem to apply to this situation. I make decisions about the current situation based on this past learning because if I use the ego mind to decide, I don’t have any other information to use.

If I look at this on another level, it is not really about not getting invited to the movies. It is about acknowledging that the ego mind is not useful in making judgments and that those judgments are based on faulty premises and so are not helpful. It is about looking at the root cause of the emotional reaction so that it can be healed. The root cause might be a feeling of unworthiness. If I allow that error to be corrected, I am free to see differently, and am no longer mired in the past.

3(8) My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.
All it takes to know this is true is to pay attention to the thoughts that run through the mind. I sat in silence for just a moment and the thoughts that ran through my mind were all thoughts based on the past. Every last one of them. If I have only those thoughts on which to make decisions, nothing is ever going to change. How could it? And that is the ego’s purpose, to use time to maintain the illusion of separation from God.

On another level, as long as I continue to turn to the ego mind for solutions, I am turning to the past and the past does not exist. As Jesus tells us in Chapter 26 of the Text, “You keep an ancient memory before your eyes.” When I am thinking about the past, I am not actually thinking at all; I am reviewing what it is I want to know. Being thus preoccupied with past thoughts, I have defended against the thoughts I think with God and assured that the cycle of birth and death continue and nothing is solved.

4 (9) I see nothing as it is now.
Everything I see with my eyes or perceive with my mind is a reflection of my thoughts. If my thoughts are mired in the past and therefore do not exist, then what I see with my eyes cannot exist either. If I want to see what is actually there to be seen, I must recognize the problem as it is. I must be willing to acknowledge that my eyes are not for seeing but for image making, and I must acknowledge that there is a way to see and that I want to see.

(10) My thoughts do not mean anything.
My thoughts are meaningless because not only are they thoughts of a non-existent past, but because they are “my” thoughts. They seem to be my own private thoughts that belong only to me. This is as impossible because we share the same mind. These thoughts that I think I think are as much of an illusion as is the world they show us, but as long as I accord value to them and treasure the idea of private thoughts, I will be unaware of my real thoughts. I share my real thoughts with all of us, and with our Creator. These are the thoughts I want to uncover.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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