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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 89 1-29-19

Lesson 89
(77) I am entitled to miracles.
(78) Let miracles replace all grievances.

The world as I see it now is not a happy place. It is filled with conflict, hatred, pain, suffering and death. The world is like this because it is a reflection of the grievances we hold in our mind. It would take a miracle to change things, and luckily, I am entitled to miracles. Miracles will reveal the real world, the happy dream. This happens because miracles replace grievances.  My only part is to notice the grievances that are hurting me and the world and be willing to release them. The miracle does the rest.

One might ask why bother? The world isn’t real anyway, and eventually we will all be released from it. It’s that eventually part that motivates me. Eventually could take a very long time and in the meantime there is a lot of suffering going on. The more love I allow in my awareness, the more compassion I feel for everyone. I can only do my part, but I will not fail to do that.

Regina’s Tips
“Everything will be alright in the end, so if it’s not yet alright, it’s not yet the end.”

My Thoughts
Like everyone else, I sometimes despair of myself thinking I will never get to the end. I judge myself for forgetting and not doing well enough. I don’t know how many times I have stopped in my tracks because I noticed that I was feeling guilty for failing to do the meditation well enough or long enough. I stop right there and I reminded myself that it’s OK. I will do better next time or I won’t, but it’s still OK. I’m loving that quote from Regina.

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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 88 1-27-19

Lesson 88
(75) The light has come.
(76) I am under no laws but God’s.

“Salvation is a decision made already. Attack and grievances are not there to choose.”

I imagine the tiny mad idea in which we wondered what separation from God would be like and the instant in which our curiosity was answered in full and the world in all its variations unfolded. I imagine how we gently laughed and turned away from that idea and the decision made, we were saved from our curious play. But there were some of us who continued to wonder, who wanted to explore this idea more deeply. And so God placed in our mind the call to joy so that we would always find our way back Home when we were ready.

We wanderers are beginning to tire of the game and those of us who are ready to return our attention to reality are learning to make that choice. We are discovering that the world we imagine we are living in is not real, but is a dreamscape from which we must choose to awaken. This morning as I sat here before the computer ready to add to my journal, I did as I often do. I stopped for a few moments and rested my fingers on the keyboard. I looked at them and let myself remember that there is no keyboard and there are no fingers. It is still a surreal experience for me, but I think that as I continue this practice, my mind will shift and the belief in my fingers and my keyboard will become the surreal experience.

“I am perfectly free of the effects of all laws save God’s. And His are the laws of freedom.”

I cannot completely believe in the laws of God until I fully accept that the world as such does not exist. If I believe in this dreamscape, I will obey the laws set up to allow its seeming existence. But if I encourage the light to come into my mind and gently awaken me, and at the same time I practice the idea that I am affected only by God’s laws, I will accept my freedom. I have ample opportunity for practice all during the day. Yesterday, I spent more than half the day being vigilant and stopping frequently to spend some minutes in stillness. But eventually, I allowed my mind to be attracted to the distractions the ego prefers.

Today, I will remember that I want to see in each situation only what is there, and I will choose vision rather than sight. I will allow God’s laws to work in these situations instead of my own.

Regina’s Tips
The ego often tells us that awakening is impossible. Or, at least it will say it is impossible for “me.” However, A Course in Miracles says:

“In an impossible situation, you can develop your abilities to the point where they can get you out of it.”

My Thoughts
I hear the ego voice telling me that I cannot do this, at least in this lifetime. I hear it all the time. If I let my attention linger on that thought, I hear all the reasons and the proof that I am not waking up any time soon. But, I am doing what I need to do to get out of this impossible situation, so awakening is inevitable.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 87 1-25-19

Lesson 87
(73) I will there be light.
(74) There is no will but God’s.

As I wrote those two lines, I thought, “Woah! If I will there be light and there is no will but God’s, my will must be the same will as God’s.” And immediately, I thought, “Right. This from the woman who can’t decide on a diet and stick to it for two days in a row.” But, no, that’s not right. It is not my will that I lose weight or I would.

It is not my ego will that is in alignment with God’s Will. We are talking about my true self here. I use my ego will to get up in the morning and I guess it helps me with my spiritual practice as well. It is the ego drive to finish what I start that is helpful in this instance. But the ego does not will there be light. The ego doesn’t want light because it operates only in darkness.

I say, “Let there be Light,” and the ego says, “Don’t be ridiculous. Are there any more of those chocolate bars?” I compromise and eat an Atkins Bar but I also come back to the lesson and remember that this cannot hide the light I will to see.

Regina’s Tips
As mentioned in yesterday’s tip, discouragement is of the ego. It is a very successful ego trick, because it can lead us to let go of the practice that awakens.

“But I can promise you, if you will take up such a path – simply, joyfully, gently, patiently – the end of your journey is certain.”

My thoughts
Of the quotes given by Regina, that was the one that spoke to me. It is my path, gentle and patient. Well, gentle, anyway. Patience came after I realized that struggle and impatience wasn’t helping. Now I take it a step at a time and the path itself has become more joyous as I have done so. This more laid back approach does not preclude effort.

I do this work more vigilantly than ever before and it is the focus of my life. The difference now is that I do it without a lot of moaning and hair pulling. I am just walking forward a step at a time knowing that the end is certain even if the timing is yet unknow.

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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 86 1-24-19

Lesson 86
(71) Only God’s plan for salvation will work.
(72) Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation.

I noticed that when the contractor was putting up the toilet paper holder and towel holder, he put it in a place on the wall that would not hold it. Now they are falling off and I am going to have to replace them and repaint. I was feeling aggrieved.

I checked my bank balance just a few minutes ago and noticed the bank clerk deposited my money into my checking even though I asked her to put it in my savings, and for just a moment I felt annoyed with her. Lesson 21 says that annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury. Jeez! That’s crazy.

But it is an example, I think, of the value I place on grievances. It seems that I am resisting the holy instant so that I can be furious at a nice lady for a simple error. I did, however, catch it quickly and I changed my mind just as quickly, so there is that. I would be discouraged with myself except that Jesus reassures me that I will have the holy instant and he also reminds me that it has gone nowhere. It may be obscured, but it has not ceased to exist.

Something that bears looking at is that my grievances are an actual attack on God’s plan for salvation. They seem to prove that God’s plan doesn’t work, when all along if I am willing to see the obvious, my grievances will prove to me that my plan is not working. They make me miserable and frighten me. I am astounded at myself as I realize how often I have these little grievances in my mind. I am happy to let them go. I do that as quickly and thoroughly as I can. I don’t want to defend against God any more.

Regina’s Tips for this lesson
Discouragement is of the ego. It is one of the ego’s preservation strategies, since discouragement keeps us from spiritual practice. If we see discouragement as an ego trick, it may help us NOT listen to thoughts of discouragement.

My thoughts
I used to go through discouragement periodically and it was painful. Now I experience it briefly and it is still painful, but only for a short time until I move out of it. Understanding that this is just ego or bad code is helpful in keeping me from getting drawn deeply into it. I am also aware that where I place my attention becomes my experience, so I try never to place my attention on what I don’t want to experience.

If I have an ego moment of discouragement, I shift my attention to the truth because the truth gives me an experience that I prefer. What is true now, is that the ego mind has become vicious in its attempts to maintain itself and so those rare attacks are brutal. I guess that’s good, really, because I am highly motivated to end them.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 85 1-22-19

Lesson 85
(69) My grievances hide the light of the world in me.
(70) My salvation comes from me.

Obviously, if it is my grievances that hide the light of the world in me, then it is from me that my salvation comes. This lesson is meant to remind me that there is nothing outside my mind that can save me. How could it? Anything I perceive as outside me is just an image of what is in my mind. Images cannot save me. Images are idols and idols are without power.

This is the paragraph that interested me this morning.

“Today I will recognize where my salvation is. It is in me because its Source is there. It has not left its Source, and so it cannot have left my mind. I will not look for it outside myself. It is not found outside and then brought in. But from within me it will reach beyond, and everything I see will but reflect the light that shines in me and in itself.”

We are told that our salvation has not left its Source. What is its Source? It is our Creator and is in the form of His Voice or the Holy Spirit. If I said this in non-religious terms, I would call it Love or Truth. Whatever we decide to call it, it is in me because God is in me or to say it another way, I am in God. We are not separable, God and I. The point is, my salvation is always available to me because it is in me.

I know this is true and yet, it is a habit of many life times to look outward for salvation and so I find myself doing it in many little ways. When I am worried about my son, I call him to reassure myself that he’s ok. When I am sick, I take medicine to mask the symptoms. When I am short on money, I look for ways to get more money or ways to spend less. Because I am also aware that these efforts to manipulate my projections are not the answer, I also turn to the Holy Spirit to show me another way. This is looking in the right direction and will purify my mind.

Jesus says that “from within me it will reach beyond, and everything I see will but reflect the light that shines in me and in itself.” I gather from that statement that as my mind is purified, my projections will reflect this purity. It will do so in either in the quality of the projections or in my perception of the projections, probably both at different times and different ways. This has been my experience.

Regina’s Tips

What we need to notice about this is that the body-mind learns to crave what we give it, so we have to GIVE IT in order for the body-mind to begin to crave it.

That could mean that in the beginning there isn’t much motivation to practice. However, in order to create the motivation to practice, we need to practice anyway. It reminds me of an Awakening Together Daily Quote from last week:

“Each step may seem to take forever, but no matter how uninspired you feel, continue to follow your practice schedule precisely and consistently. This is how we can use our greatest enemy, habit, against itself.”
~ Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche

My Thoughts
I have seen that this is true. I had to get over the hump of old habit to form a new one, but now my spiritual practice is something I crave like a smoker craves a cigarette. Regina says that this could be called the positive use of craving. All I know is that it brings me such peace to begin my day with God, and I look forward to using my spiritual practice throughout the day. I think it started as a way to escape the torment of living outside grace, but now it is motivated by the pure joy of it.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 84 1-21-19

Lesson 84
(67) Love created me like itself.
(68) Love holds no grievances.

Just the titles to these two lessons tells the whole story. I am like God and God holds no grievances, so, if I am holding a grievance I am acting unlike myself and therefore I will not recognize myself. My grievances obscure my true nature from me. God is eternal and if I believe anything that is not eternally true, I am in error and need to correct that error.

Yesterday, I realized that I have a cold. My first thought was that my granddaughter was at my house and she has a cold and I wiped her nose. As I did so, I had the thought that I could get this cold from her. This is a thought that is not true unless I believe it is true. It is not eternally true because it is a body thing and bodies are not eternal.

My Creator did not create this as I see it.

Regina’s Tips
We are practicing true compassion when we dedicate our lives to the pursuit of truth realization. This is because the ego thought system is the cause of all forms of suffering.

My Thoughts
I fully accept that no matter how strong my compassion is for the world, I can do little to help if I work from within the world. However, if I dedicate myself to awakening, I will help end all suffering. This is why Jesus tells us that our only function is to accept the Atonement for ourselves. When I see the effect of believing untrue thoughts and I remind myself that my Creator did not create this as I see it, I am helping to und the ego and to end all forms of suffering. Another thing I tell myself: “Nothing can replace God. I am willing to accept only the eternal.”

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 83 1-20-19

Lesson 83
(65) My only function is the one God gave me.
(66) My happiness and my function are one.

“With one purpose only, I am always certain what to do, what to say and what to think.”

“And I must learn to recognize what makes me happy, if I would find happiness.”

For the most part, I remember my function. I know my purpose. And as long as that is firmly in my mind, I live my purpose and I am happy. I first began to realize how true this is when I started working with students. I was still moving in and out of my function at that time, sometimes living from my purpose and then other times being conflicted as some other goal caught my attention. So sometimes I was happy and sometimes I was confused and unhappy.

There were times when a student would call and I would wonder how I could do this today because I didn’t feel right. I might be anxious or worried or uncertain. But as soon as we started talking, everything cleared like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. By the time the call was done, I was back into my happy.

After a while, I began to see the pattern and realized that I have a true self that knows what to say and what to think and that I access this self when I accept my function. So, is teaching my function? It is part of my function within the larger function, which is to accept the Atonement. In putting aside my ego thoughts and feelings, I accepted the Atonement in that moment, and I was happy.

Regina’s Tips
I heard a Christian song on the radio. The song said that a saint is someone who, “falls down and gets up, falls down and gets up, falls down and gets up.”

So, that’s what we need to do. When we notice we have slipped or forgotten our purpose (fallen down), we just begin again (get up). In this way, we awaken ourselves and the world.

My Thoughts
Lord, I must be close to sainthood if that’s all it takes. I fall down over and over as I forget my purpose, but I get up again and start over. What else can I do? I can’t pretend that I don’t know my purpose. I can’t go back to ignorance, nor do I want to. Here is the good news. I forget my purpose less and less often. When I stumble, I pop back up, brush myself off and move on without guilt making it harder. Sometimes I even laugh at the absurdity of it.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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