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Study of the Text 5-16-13

5-16-13
4 You are very fearful of everything you have perceived but have refused to accept. You believe that, because you have refused to accept it, you have lost control over it. This is why you see it in nightmares, or in pleasant disguises in what seem to be your happier dreams. Nothing that you have refused to accept can be brought into awareness. It is not dangerous in itself, but you have made it seem dangerous to you.

I felt a little confused about this paragraph and asked for understanding.
In the first sentence I am told that I am fearful of the things I perceive but refuse to accept. So what is it that I have perceived but refused to accept? That would be the things I project onto others. I notice a thought in my mind but feel guilty or afraid of the thought and quickly project it. I see it (or perceive it) outside me and I think I am free of it, but now I am nervous because, outside of me, I have no control over it.

Jesus, could you give me an example of this?

The whole world I see is an example of this. A specific example would be the belief in lack. I project this belief onto the world as financial poverty. I see poverty everywhere I look. I see people starving to death while others have so much they cannot even use it all. I don’t know what to do about it and think because I cannot find a solution that I am guilty. I buy some luxury and I feel guilty because I could have used that money to feed some hungry child. Then I realize there is no way I can fix this problem, that it is out of my control, and this makes me fearful and angry.

I believe in loss and so I project that belief onto the world. I am in love, giddy with it, and I think I will love this person until I die and even death cannot end my love. Then I fall out of love and I lose that wonderful feeling. I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t make love last forever and now I can’t be happy without it. Love is out of my control and I am victim to its loss. I either run out to fill that loss with someone else, or I become afraid to lose again, and so defend myself against it and never allow myself to fall in love again.

I believe in suffering and so I project suffering onto the world. I see people with cancer everywhere I look and I am afraid because it seems so horrible. Even if I never have it or even if no one I love has it, I am afraid because it is possible and so I live in dread. I read every article on it and try every preventative measure to keep it at bay, but I don’t know if any of them will work so I am still in fear. Or I project it onto this body I think of as my self. I have cancer and it just appeared. I have no control over it and can only try to defend this body from it’s ravages.

These are possible scenarios. In each one the thought or belief is in the mind and in an effort to get rid of the belief, it is thrown out (projected). It then seems to be outside, no longer in my mind but out “there.” It is not me, not my fault, and I am not guilty for having that thought. That is the idea, anyway. But out there, I have no control over it and so now I am afraid.

The solution is to stop trying to control it out there, which, of course, is impossible. As long as I perceive the idea as something outside myself I will continue to feel victimized by it, but as I withdraw my projections, and acknowledge the thoughts, I can allow them to be healed. When I see poverty, instead of joining a cause to eradicate it, I realize that the idea of poverty is in my mind and that is where it must be healed.

When I see loss, instead of feeling helpless to do anything about it, I acknowledge that the loss I see is just a symbol of the idea of loss I believe in. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in loss in my mind, and I accept His healing. A mind that does not believe in loss will not see loss. A mind that does not believe in suffering will not see suffering because it will not project suffering or loss.

This seems impossible to me, and yet, even with the little mind healing I have experienced, I know that it is the truth. The ego mind wants to object. Even if I allowed every false thought in my mind to be healed, I would still suffer when my child suffered. But everything is a projection of my thoughts. If I my mind was completely healed how could I project a suffering child?

From this place of identifying with the ego mind, it is very hard to remember that my story of Myron is just a story and that none of it is real. But every time I notice a thought that is not in alignment with truth and allow that thought to be healed, I loosen my hold on that false identity of Myron. The darkness recedes a little and there is more light in my mind. I begin to see.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-15-13

5-15-13
3 You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace that comes from meeting yourself and your brothers totally without judgment. When you recognize what you are and what your brothers are, you will realize that judging them in any way is without meaning. In fact, their meaning is lost to you precisely because you are judging them. All uncertainty comes from the belief that you are under the coercion of judgment. You do not need judgment to organize your life, and you certainly do not need it to organize yourself. In the presence of knowledge all judgment is automatically suspended, and this is the process that enables recognition to replace perception.

Oh, I love this paragraph! First, I do understand how much I hurt myself through judging. I know that I lose my peace each time I judge myself or a brother! I am judging less and less and I have had times when judgment was suspended, so I know how it feels to be free of that burden. This is why I continue my daily process of forgiving. I want more of that freedom.

Yesterday, I said that I didn’t know how to live in this world without judgment, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to do so, trusting that I will not be asked to do the impossible. So many times I have heard people say that everyone judges and that you must judge just to be in this world. I have felt the temptation to believe that myself, but I know it cannot be true.

In this paragraph, Jesus assures me that I don’t need judgment. I don’t need it to organize my world and I don’t need it to organize myself. He says that knowledge will take the place of judgment. If I am talking about living completely identified with ego then I must judge to be in the world, but we are no longer so identified with ego, are we? Our mind is split and we are learning to identify with the Truth in our mind, rather than with ego. We don’t need judgment anymore because we have access to knowledge. It comes through Holy Spirit. If we decide then we must judge. If we ask, then we will be told.

Of course for knowledge to take the place of judgment, I must let go of judgment. I have to release the idea I need to judge or want to judge so that I can be given something else. I am heartened to hear this because that is what I am doing. I do this every day all day long. Every time I notice that I am judging, I offer that thought to the Holy Spirit to be healed. I open my heart to His answer.

Another way I am doing this is by not deciding alone. Jesus said that if I will ask him if he agrees with my decision before I make it, then it will not cause me fear. So I have made a habit of doing this. Here is an example. I thought of going to one of Nouk’s workshops but when I waited for confirmation, I didn’t feel it. I checked in a couple of different times, but I didn’t feel a yes. Then recently, I received a notice about one in Portland and got a strong yes on it. I don’t know why it was no before and now it is yes, but I cannot know everything and the Holy Spirit does.

Sometimes it is not so clear. For instance, I had the thought that I should stop taking a certain medication. The next time I went to the doctor I mentioned that I was going to stop using it. He was adamant that I shouldn’t stop and so I deferred to his judgment. I let myself be swayed by his fear. But it bothered me. I know that all our judgments are based on fear in some form, and so I don’t trust them.

I asked again about the medicine. I talked to Jesus about my uncertainty and asked him to help me know for sure that he was guiding me in this. What happened is that I began to get nauseated every time I took the pill. I stopped taking it and now I feel fine. There was a time when I would have been too afraid, and my doubt too strong to listen to guidance in this way, but all the little practices have built my confidence and motivated me to trust.

Another idea that stands out to me is that I cannot know myself or my brother if I judge us. We are perfect. We are whole, and complete. We are part of God. What is there to judge? How could we be judged? Who could judge us? To judge another or even to judge one’s self is to forget one’s identity. When I judge myself I ask, “Who am I?” It is a good question and the answer undoes the judgment.

I do the same for the brother I have judged. “Who is this one before me, Jesus? My judgment has clouded my mind and hidden his identity from me and so I don’t know him.” Because I don’t know my brother I don’t know myself. He is part of me and if he is lost to me, then I am lost as well. I cannot be whole without him and I cannot be my Self if I am not whole. My very salvation depends on me letting go of this nonsensical idea that I can judge and want to judge.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-14-13

5-14-13
2 The choice to judge rather than to know is the cause of the loss of peace. Judgment is the process on which perception but not knowledge rests. I have discussed this before in terms of the selectivity of perception, pointing out that evaluation is its obvious prerequisite. judgment always involves rejection. It never emphasizes only the positive aspects of what is judged, whether in you or in others. What has been perceived and rejected, or judged and found wanting, remains in your mind because it has been perceived. One of the illusions from which you suffer is the belief that what you judged against has no effect. This cannot be true unless you also believe that what you judged against does not exist. You evidently do not believe this, or you would not have judged against it. In the end it does not matter whether your judgment is right or wrong. Either way you are placing your belief in the unreal. This cannot be avoided in any type of judgment, because it implies the belief that reality is yours to select from.

The sentence that stood out for me in this paragraph says that I believe that reality is mine to choose from. I think that I can decide that one person deserves my love and another doesn’t. I believe that I can decide that one situation in my life is good and another situation is bad. This choosing what is acceptable and rejecting the rest is the basis of all conflict.

In any group of people you will find this arbitrary choosing of sides. Some people will be vehement that abortion is murder and others will jealously guard their right to choose for themselves. To some it will be so self evident that we need to control the number of guns out there that they think the group that feels threatened by new gun laws are insane. Neither side can fathom how the other thinks.

When countries do this, it leads to war. When groups do this it leads to divisiveness, hatred, fear, and attack. As an individual within either group, it leads to a firmer belief in separation. Judging is the way we keep the ego belief in place. It is the way we build the illusion and make it stronger in our mind.

One of the things I never understood was how I was supposed to live if I stopped judging, even if I could stop judging. But now I don’t worry about that. I don’t think about how it should look. I don’t try to stop judging. I just notice when I am judging and I ask that my mind be healed.

When I hold onto a judgment I notice that I feel unhappy, mildly anxious, maybe. There is a part of my mind that knows judgment is out of alignment with my true nature, and I am uncomfortable with this behavior even when it is on an unconscious level. And much of the judgment in my mind happens without me even noticing, but the effect of the judgment is there whether I am aware of where it came from or not.

I’ve been watching some of these issues as they have been discussed on Facebook, and one thing is obvious. The more certain the person is that they are right, a position they came to through judgment, the greater the fear, and fearful people are vicious. I notice that when I take a side I lose my peace, no matter what side I choose and no matter how certain I am that I am right.

I was trying to think of a current issue that I could use as an example of how it feels to have no opinion, one that I have no judgment about, and I couldn’t think of one. I seem to judge them all and to have preferences about them all. Some of them I see from both sides, but I see one side as right and then looking at it differently, I see the other side as right. In no case do I see only innocence because when I choose a side, I choose against the other side. To the ego mind, if one is right then the other is guilty of not being right.

I don’t know how to live in the world without judging, but I do know how to watch my mind for judgments. I know that I want peace more than I want to be right about anything. I know that I can ask that my mind be healed of every divisive belief in it. I know that in any moment, I can ask the Holy Spirit how to see, and I will be given that vision. I can do this instead of deciding (judging) for myself how I should see. I know that this is my part and I can do it without knowing any more than that.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-13-13

VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem
1 We have already discussed the Last Judgment, but in insufficient detail. After the Last Judgment there will be no more. Judgment is symbolic because beyond perception there is no judgment. When the Bible says “Judge not that ye be not judged,” it means that if you judge the reality of others you will be unable to avoid judging your own.

Jesus, please help me to understand how it is that we will always judge ourselves if we judge others. I seem to be experiencing some resistance about this.  (The resistance appears as not being able to think what to say, feeling tired, thoughts of not feeling good. None of this is true and so I reject each one.)

Jesus: You begin with a thought in your mind, project that thought onto another and so strengthen the thought. You now believe that thought and think it is real, and because you perceive it as in your mind you believe it is you.

Thank you. I understand it now. Resistance is funny. I had to refute each excuse the ego came up with, just refused to accept them. Taking down your words felt like working through molasses, but now that I did it I feel like a heaviness has lifted and I feel light.

I have been practicing being aware of my casual judgments and, through this practice, allowing my mind to be healed. I watch my mind as I shop, as I drive, and as I work. I notice when I think that someone is dressed inappropriately, is behaving badly, shouldn’t have said something or done something. I notice when I think that woman looks better than me or that one should lose some weight, or when I think that man should be kinder to his wife or more patient with his kids.

I often ask the Holy Spirit for a new vision, to help me see them as He does. And as I do all of this I forgive myself for these judgments and let go of the guilt that is my first experience. The ego mind says to judge and when I choose forgiveness instead the ego says I am guilty for having judged in the first place.

You just can’t please the ego mind. The ego doesn’t seem to like itself much and when I feel identified with the ego, I won’t like myself. It starts to become clearer to me how it is that judging others insures I will judge myself. I use judgment to keep myself separate from my brothers and I know that can’t be right even if I am not allowing myself to understand why. I feel guilty and I apply that same belief to myself and now I am judged.

I was thinking of the one sentence I wrote about judging a woman for being fat. That judgment caught my attention because Jesus is helping me to see how I use the body to defend myself against God. One of the ways he is doing this is to help me to experience food differently. Now every time I think that I should not have eaten that piece of cake because it is going to make me fat, I ask the Holy Spirit for the truth.

Usually, I have a thought like, “It is not possible for anything outside my mind to affect me in any way.” Or,  “Food cannot make me fat. Only guilt can make me fat.” Or, “I make the body with my projections, not with food.” Or, “Fat is how I punish myself for my imagined sin of eating too much.”

I have used the body to prove I am guilty and those ideas have a strong hold on me because it has been going on for so long. Slowly, very slowly, I am allowing the Holy Spirit to reprogram my mind about this. Because this is not fully accepted by me yet, I still have the belief in my mind that food makes people fat and that they are guilty for having no control. So when I see a fat person I am likely to project that judgment on them.

I get the added ego bonus of distracting from my own guiltiness by pointing the finger at someone else.  I am in effect saying that she is guiltier than I am, and at the same time, I am reinforcing the ego program in my mind. So the next time I over indulge, I will believe the thought in my mind that I am guilty for this, it is a sin, and I will be punished for it. I will then project that belief onto the body as excess weight. As I judged, I am judged. It is inevitable, and I but do it to myself.

The solution to this ugly cycle is the same as it is for all other wrong-minded thinking. I just notice, without flinching, when I have these thoughts. I know that I am not guilty for them, just mistaken. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I ask for the Atonement. Then, to the best of my ability at this time, I accept the Atonement in this situation. I continue to do this in whatever form the belief exposes itself. I continue to do it until I no longer believe in it.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-10-13

5-10-13
10 As long as perception lasts prayer has a place. Since perception rests on lack, those who perceive have not totally accepted the Atonement and given themselves over to truth. Perception is based on a separated state, so that anyone who perceives at all needs healing. Communion, not prayer, is the natural state of those who know. God and His miracle are inseparable. How beautiful indeed are the Thoughts of God who live in His Light! Your worth is beyond perception because it is beyond doubt. Do not perceive yourself in different lights. Know yourself in the One Light where the miracle that is you is perfectly clear.

I think I am separated from God and so I think I lack. I will continue to feel a sense of lack no matter how I fill my life with things, friends, lovers, money, accomplishments, or beauty. Nothing will relieve the emptiness because it is the inevitable result of the perception of separation. I was whole and now I perceive myself as less than that and so I naturally seek a remedy. The only remedy is a return to Wholeness.

I perceive myself as fractured and so now need healing. As long as I continue to perceive rather than to know, this will be true. The only healing that will bring me back to my natural state is forgiveness. Forgiveness will allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind and to undo what I have done through my decision to perceive separation.

So now I am learning to pray differently. I don’t pray to be a better person, to have more money, for help to meet an obligation, or to meet someone who will relieve my sense of loneliness. I don’t pray for a healthier body or a longer life, or that my friends and loved ones will not leave me. The only meaningful prayer is forgiveness, which is the only remedy for what ails me. Forgiveness accepts the healing of the mind that believes it needs any of these things.

Only through separation perception could I imagine that I could be alone, afraid, sad, angry or in need of anything at all. I am whole and perfect, beautiful beyond anything the body’s eyes could see. I am what I seek. I am a miracle of God. I am His beloved Son. What could I pray for if I were in my right mind? While I am in this confused state where I perceive rather than know, the only prayer I am interested in is the prayer for forgiveness.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-9-13

5-9-13
9 Forgiveness is the healing of the perception of separation. Correct perception of your brother is necessary, because minds have chosen to see themselves as separate. Spirit knows God completely. That is its miraculous power. The fact that each one has this power completely is a condition entirely alien to the world’s thinking. The world believes that if anyone has everything, there is nothing left. But God’s miracles are as total as His Thoughts because they are His Thoughts.

I need to underline this first sentence and commit it to memory. “Forgiveness is the healing of the perception of separation.” I have said before myself, and have heard many people say, “I don’t really understand forgiveness.” That is why when I hear the word forgiveness, I automatically translate it to “undo.” I chose the perception of separation, and now I need to undo this choice or to choose again. Thus, I forgive my perception of what is happening to me, or what someone is doing.

In order to undo the perception of separation, I must forgive it everywhere I see it. I cannot pick and choose the perceptions I want to undo and those I want to keep. If I keep any perception of separation, I have not forgiven the perception of separation. Because we see each perception as if it is something different from another perception, there is the temptation to believe that one is more meaningful and thus more valuable than another. But if it is a perception of separation it has no meaning and therefore no value.

Guilt is a separation perception. We are all innocent and this has no exceptions, but it can be hard to believe this sometimes. If someone breaks my heart, or steals something I treasure, or hurts someone I love, the temptation is to believe that person is guilty. If I don’t forgive that perception, then I have kept the whole separation perception in place.

Suffering is a separation perception. Many times I have felt like my suffering was justified. When my son was very sick, I suffered. Yesterday when I felt guilty for something I did to my mother, I suffered. When I have been sick or in pain, I have suffered. When I am suffering and I tell myself that I am a victim to the circumstances and there is nothing I can do about it, I am keeping the whole separation perception in place.

Separation perception seems to take many forms. It might appear as fear, anger, jealousy, depression, shame, grief, or envy, suffering, pain or death. It might appear as a behavior such as an addiction. It might appear as distracting behaviors like eating, shopping, reading, watching TV, when these things are done in order to avoid the work of forgiveness.

No matter the form they take, or how different they seem, our separation perceptions are really all the same. This is hard to hear and even harder to believe, but the death of a loved one is no different than the fear of losing a job. It is part of our separation strategy to put everything into categories and give them levels of “truth” and levels of importance. But just as zero times one equals zero and zero times a million also equals zero, separation perceptions are meaningless no matter what importance we give them.

Spirit knows God completely and Spirit is in our minds, so each of us has this power in exactly the same way and to the same degree. No one is holier than another and no one is condemned or less than another. The world doesn’t understand this because the world is based on separation perception.

There are the obvious examples of this as you listen to people talk about the Boston bombers, or politicians they really despise, or even whole groups of people they hate. But terrorists and murders and rapists, and even the politicians people love to hate, all have the same power of knowledge in their minds. The Spirit is in them as He is in all of us, so how can they be separate? If I see them as separate or different, if I see them as outside Love, then I am holding the separation perception in place.

How about the ones I see as holier than me, further advanced than me, more special than me? I know that some people are more advanced in time, but that is just temporary and not a real difference. But if I place anyone, even Jesus, above myself and make him special, then I am keeping the separation perception in place.

Who we really are, not the story of our bodies, which is just another separation perception, but our true Self, is exactly the same and is One. There is not one of us that is better or higher placed or more beloved or holier than another. We are each a miracle of God in exactly the same way. Give devotion where devotion is due, but reserve awe only for God.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-8-13

5-8-13
8 What happens to perceptions if there are no judgments and nothing but perfect equality? Perception becomes impossible. Truth can only be known. All of it is equally true, and knowing any part of it is to know all of it. Only perception involves partial awareness. Knowledge transcends the laws governing perception, because partial knowledge is impossible. It is all one and has no separate parts. You who are really one with it need but know yourself and your knowledge is complete. To know God’s miracle is to know Him.

Jesus, I really don’t know what to do with this paragraph. I don’t doubt the truth of it; I just don’t remember how that feels. What I hear you say is that I am a miracle of God. When I know myself as a miracle of God I will know everything because knowledge is whole. Perception will disappear along with judgment. What would there be to judge? There would be only truth. Oh, I do so long for that knowledge, complete and uninterrupted.

As I write this, part of my mind is on an experience of yesterday. About three years ago my mom died of Alzheimer’s. I spent several months forgiving our relationship, and mostly that was me forgiving myself for not loving her as well as I could have. It felt like grief and at first that is what I thought it was, but actually, if it was grief, it was grief that I had not been a better daughter.

During those months a memory would surface and I would feel this overwhelming guilt over my behavior and would then go through the process of forgiveness. Finally, the memories stopped coming and I felt like it was complete. I thought of mom and there was not guilt, only love. Then yesterday, a different memory surfaced and it really knocked me off my feet. It was not just the feeling of guilt the memory triggered, but that it was so unexpected. Like walking along and suddenly something hits you from behind and knocks you down.

Me: Jesus, the shame and guilt I felt yesterday and this morning are receding, but it is still there. It is hard to think of myself as a miracle of God when I think of myself as a guilty, shameful person.

Jesus: Here is what you can do. Allow the feelings to flow over you. Your resistance to them is all that makes them painful. Your resistance is your fear that the feelings are true and that, as you suspected, you really are guilty. The circumstances that seemed to be the source of your feelings are unimportant. You feel guilty and the story of your mom seems to be the reason for your guilt, but it is not. As long as you believe in guilt, you will continue to experience these guilty stories. The stories are not the cause of the guilt; they are the effect of the guilt. You are innocent. You are, indeed, a miracle of God.

Me: I had the thought that there was no guilt and that there is only innocence. I imagined myself saying to a friend that she could not be guilty because she is innocent and that she could never be guilty. In that moment I felt the truth of that so strongly it was hard for me to imagine how she could feel guilty. Then, a short time later, this memory surfaced and I felt so overwhelmed with guilt that I could not imagine innocence. The story of my guilt was a hammer pounding me into the ground.

Jesus: Do not be concerned that you have these feelings of guilt. You have the truth in your mind. You also have the separation thought in your mind. The story of your guilt is just a symbol of the separation thought. You have done nothing. All that is happening is that you are looking at both thoughts in your mind.

First you looked at the truth. This caused a fearful reaction in the part of your mind that feels separate from God and feels guilty for that separation. The guilt that felt so drowning was actually the reaction to that fear. Truly, the belief in guilt is your defense against the love of God. It is your defense against the idea that you are a miracle of God.

Imagine you are standing on the beach and a tall wave is coming at you. If you become fearful and stand against the wave, it will knock you over and you will feel like you are drowning. If you sit quietly and let the wave flow over and around you as if you were a rock in its path, it will rush over you and then quickly recede.

Be the rock. Let the rush of feelings, the doubts and the fears flow over you. They cannot hurt you. You are safe. Without the fear you will hear even the wave whisper the truth about you. You are innocent. Nothing can touch your innocence. You are innocent because guilt is a lie. It doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as guilt.

This is the meaning behind this paragraph, Myron. As you are waking up you are remembering who you are. With that return to truth, perception will fall away. If there is only innocence, where is guilt? In God there cannot be opposites. It is only in the idea of separation that there is a belief in opposites or more than one and with this belief perception was chosen over certainty. Stand like a rock in the face of your fears. Let the Voice of Truth undo this error in your mind. Don’t struggle against it, and it will pass quickly and painlessly. You are not alone. We stand with you.

Me: Thank you for that reminder, Jesus, and thank you for the helpful visual. Instead of see the wave crashing down on me, I will see it washing away the doubts and uncertainties. I will see you standing with me. I notice that the residual sadness is completely gone now. I see that it was only my clinging to the idea of guilt and shame that made it seem real in the first place, and that made it linger for so long.

One thing I am reminded of is how it feels when I am not certain. So when someone else is in fear, I can be certain for them, but I will remember how it feels to be afraid and will feel compassion as well.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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