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Study of Manual for Teachers 9-11-12

9-11-12
20 Miracles reawaken the awareness that the spirit, not the body, is the altar of truth. This is the recognition that leads to the healing power of the miracle.

Sometimes I get bad headaches and when that happens my first thought is, “What triggered this headache?” I wonder if it could be something I ate or sitting for too long at the computer. I used to try to figure it out and would keep a journal of what I had been doing when it occurred. I was making the body the altar of truth, looking to the body for the cause and for the solution, looking to the body to tell me the truth. What a joke I was playing on myself! As if the body, which is an illusion, could be the cause of anything.

Now when I have a headache, I might still, out of habit, wonder what caused it but I quickly pop back into reality. I caused it. I remember the power of decision. I know that I decided on this.

No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. L 152

I am now aware that spirit is the altar of truth.

Lesson 190 says that pain is not real and one day I decided that this must be true. It only makes sense that if it is not part of God then it cannot exist. I began to practice this idea every time I experienced pain. Eventually my practice led to greater conviction and I began to realize that long term pain that I had experienced for years was no longer there.

As I had been doing my practice, I would ask the Holy Spirit to come into my mind (join with me) and heal it, or undo the ego belief there. Because I really want this, the prayer is answered and as I became ready it began to manifest in my human experience and became apparent even there. While still in the middle of the process I would take medication that I had given the power to relieve the pain, but that did not heal me.

Even if there were a cure for headaches they would only be a way of allowing a frightened mind to accept the miracle, because medicine does not heal without our permission. It is only at the level of spirit that healing occurs. I have experienced the miracle and I will never again be able to believe in the body as the altar of truth.

I still get headaches occasionally, or other pain because I have not completely let go of the value I have placed in sickness, but I also never believe it has anything to do with the body except that the body is the screen onto which I project that belief. The body is never again going to be the altar of truth for me. This is good because as the lesson says, “This is the recognition that leads to the healing power of the miracle.”

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-10-12

9-10-12
18 A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service you can render to another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. You recognize your own and your neighbor’s worth simultaneously.

When I was deciding what I wanted to take in college I thought about nursing, but only for a second because I knew that I could not do that. I thought about teaching and thought that was something I could do so I studied to be a teacher. Toward the end I realized that I didn’t want to be a teacher and so I quit. But always I wanted to be of service, even back then when I was mostly self-centered, I felt drawn to serve. That was my true Self moving me gently toward my life purpose.

I would never have been open to the idea of miracles at that time, and if I had the impulse, it would have been subverted by the ego because I needed purification first. I could not have imagined where my story would take me or even that there was something outside me guiding me to this place in my life. But in retrospect I see that this was happening. I am meant to serve and it seems that miracles are the service I am meant to perform.

I cannot know what that means in terms of what I am to do, what miracle I am to perform, and when, and that’s ok because it is not my job to make that decision. Jesus is in charge of this project and I only need to be open and willing and everything will be done through me. I don’t even need to know it happened. Through my willingness love moves through me to my neighbor and in doing so we are both uplifted and healed. Could anything be simpler?

19 Miracles make minds one in God. They depend on cooperation, because the Sonship is the sum of all that God created. Miracles therefore reflect the laws of eternity, not of time. 

Miracles occur on the level of mind, and so are outside time and space and bodies. The miracle brings our awareness back to reality and so through the miracle we remember that we are one in God. A student and I were discussing her work and suddenly I suggested something she might do to bring about a healing. I had no idea I was going to do that or what I was going to say until I said it. The impulse did not come from me but through me.

I had no idea that the suggestion was important or meaningful to the student. I discovered how important and how healing it was later. This is a miracle. It happened on the level of mind and the true gift is the joining at that level my student and I experienced. Neither one of us will ever again be able to think of our minds as separate.

We only seem to be separate and to have separate thoughts, but there is a place where our seemingly separate minds meet and are not separate. It is here that love flows unimpeded one to another. Love takes whatever form is helpful at that moment, and in a way that is recognizable to both.

This kind of thing happens all the time now because I am a more open and willing channel that I used to be.  I become willing to be lived and to get my self out of the way. That means I ignore the ego impulse to decide on my own, to make my own decisions and make my own plans, and the miracle of love moving through the Mind we are becomes very clear, and my conviction grows. It grows for the one I have joined with as well. It is a very humbling experience. 

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-7-12

9-7-12
17 Miracles transcend the body. They are sudden shifts into invisibility, away from the bodily level. That is why they heal.

Nothing happens within the illusion. Nothing is improved, nothing is made worse, nothing is done at all. This is just a script being played out. There is no Myron outside this story. I am not that. What I am is the writer of this interesting story.  We can learn to step back in our minds and experience our self watching the story, and I think, learning from it, maybe enjoying it.

My experience, so far, is that I both feel the story taking place as if I were in it, and sometimes I also feel myself watching the story taking place. Even without that shift in awareness I don’t ever completely forget what is actually happening. I wonder if the miracle will transform that experience further?

The miracle heals because it occurs outside the world and the body. It comes from our true self, not from within the illusion. This means the miracle happens in reality and so has actual affects. It is easy to believe that we are all movers and shakers here in our pretend world, but that’s not happening. We are movers and shakers and incredibly powerful Beings, but who we are is in that invisibility, that “place” that is away from the bodily level. To experience the miracle we need only agree to it, to choose it.

From within the body and the worldly experience that is our job. The more I can stand back and allow myself to be lived rather than trying to control life, the happier and more peaceful I am. But I am like a puppet with a mind of its own that keeps trying to walk off and do its own thing independent of the puppeteer. All I do is tangle up the strings and trip all over myself. I get up determined to pretend that I am in control and do it all over again. Really, all I need to do to succeed in getting where I want to go is to stop resisting the puppeteer, but I have convinced myself that I can work my own strings without help. Silly puppet.

It is not a matter of trying to make the illusion better, but rather it is about remembering who I am so that I will experience the illusion differently. Yes, the illusion seems to respond to this quickening of my more awakened self, but the minute I start thinking, “OK, now I am going to increase my profits or heal this body,” I fall headlong back into the illusion and I am no longer in the realm of miracles, but back in la la land trying to convince myself that my Avatar is my real self and it is in control and making things happen.

It’s the difference between wishing and willing. From within the illusion if I decide I want something to be different, I am wishing and sometimes my wishes come true. I live a story to explain the process, doing this and doing that and then taking credit for the result. Sometimes, no matter what I do the wish is not fulfilled because … well, because it is just a wish and a wish has no power.

If I recognize that what is happening in the story cannot be part of truth and I desire truth, not to change the illusion, but for the sake of truth, and for love’s sake, that desire is answered with a miracle. This is willing and it proceeds from conviction and so is always answered, and always creates true change. The illusion may or may not change, but the mind has changed and this makes all the difference, and is all that matters.

I’ve noticed that I still become fixated on the illusion sometimes and want desperately to fix it, but that won’t work because change does not come from within the system. What is it that holds the illusion together, that is the glue that keeps the whole thing from falling apart? It’s judgment, right? So if I think there is something wrong with what is happening in the world, then I have just applied more judgment glue to the illusion and that is clearly not the way to undo it, and undoing the ego is the only solution to the problem.

From outside the system there is no belief in the illusion so why would there be a desire to fix it. It is the confusion within the mind that needs to be fixed. Yes, I still take my eye off the ball and get distracted thinking that the illusion needs my attention and that I could be happy here if I just fix this or that, but then I stop wasting my time and return my attention to the only thing that needs changing; that is my mind.

That is something that is done simply by asking, and then accepting the answer. As the confusion is cleared, the mind is healed, the ego is undone, and life is seen as the game it is until we tire of it, and then off we go to do whatever unlimited powerful and creative Beings like us do.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 9-6-12

9-6-12
16 Miracles are teaching devices for demonstrating it is as blessed to give as to receive. They simultaneously increase the strength of the giver and supply strength to the receiver.

Miracles are teaching devices. I almost missed the importance of that first statement. Miracles are not a way to get well quick, or supply some other imagined need, though the effect of the miracle often seems to do just this. If miracles were for the sole purpose of making an illusion better, they would be just another part of the illusion, another ego manipulation of something that doesn’t exist.

No, the purpose of miracles is not to encourage the idea that the illusion is real and has some value, but to teach us that the illusion does nothing. Through miracles, which are a change of mind, a new way of thinking, and, ultimately, reveal our supremacy over the world, the miracle teaches us of who we truly are. Each miracle reminds us that we are not of the world, that we are not affected by the world, that the world does not do anything to us.

We are the makers of the world. The world is of us, the world is affected by us, and we do to the world what is done. Thus what has no innate value becomes a valuable teaching aid as the miracle reminds us of our true nature, and we begin to awaken to that glorious truth.

Through miracles we also learn that giving is receiving. This has been a slow transformation in my mind. I liked the idea; I thought the idea had merit; I thought I believed the idea; and at some point I realized that I knew that giving is receiving. Miracles had opened my eyes to that simple truth that I cannot give anything of true value without receiving, and I cannot receive without giving.

This understanding changes everything, of course. I hear my student express doubt and uncertainty and I smile to myself knowing this is just a temporary confusion on his part, knowing with absolute certainty and no doubt that this confusion will be blown away like smoke in a breeze and the Divinity he is will be exposed. My belief in him heals his mind and strengthens that belief in my own mind. In the miracle of healing we are both healed and both strengthened.

Does this change the illusion, change our stories? Oh yes! In many ways the story changes as our perception changes, as we bring into our story elements that reflect the change in mind. Time is collapsed and what is no longer needed to accomplish our goals for this lifetime fall away. What would once have brought up fear or anger will be seen as nothing and will be accepted fully and without resistance, and so will pass easily and quickly.

The story of the world, instead of being deadly serious, becomes our playground, a place to express our creative nature, fun and interesting, but certainly not anything to take seriously. Miracles become a way of life, an everyday occurrence as they are meant to be. The world will show itself as the happy dream it was intended to be before guilt and fear distorted it. Through our use of miracles we will join and join until we no longer see any separation between us, and as full memory of our true nature returns to us, we will remember to laugh at this tiny mad idea. 

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-5-12

9-5-12
15 Each day should be devoted to miracles. The purpose of time is to enable you to learn how to use time constructively. It is thus a teaching device and a means to an end. Time will cease when it is no longer useful in facilitating learning.

I admit that for a long time A Course in Miracles was a part-time pursuit for me. I studied it for years, but the study was inconsistent and the practice even more so. It took a very long time for me to realize its value to me to the degree that I wanted a daily study. It all began to change at the same time I discovered Pathways of Light and began their courses to be a minister.

Looking back on it, when I turned fifty it was like a switch had been thrown, like I had been sleepwalking and someone suddenly woke me up and I began to walk with purpose. I don’t for a moment think this just happened, or that there was anything in my life that caused it to happen. It was simply time for me to accelerate my spiritual journey and so I did. I made up stories to explain each step of the way, but that was after the fact and is just what the ego does. The stories were meaningless.

Now everyday is devoted to miracles. This is a constructive use of my time, the only constructive use of my time. It doesn’t matter what I seem to be doing miracles are the purpose. Whether I am selling chemicals to my customers or chatting with my daughter, I am devoted to miracles. I am ever vigilant for my thoughts so I notice quickly if I have fallen back into ego or am entertaining myself with ego chatter.

I am always aware of myself as existing outside time and space even though I feel like a body, and feel what bodies feel. I am cognizant of my actions and reactions and always willing for healing of my mind. I am in gratitude often, and when I am not in gratitude I am asking for gratitude to return to my mind. I start every single day with the Holy Spirit. I call on His help all day long.

I am happy and can’t remember the last time I was depressed even though I spent most of my life in a depressed state. I sometimes still see others as separate from me, but only temporarily, and I am glad to notice that error so it can be corrected. I forgive myself, I forgive others, I forgive whatever is in front of me whether it seems to be mine or not. My life is a miracle.

To understand just how much of a miracle it is you would have had to have known me before I found A Course in Miracles. I can’t tell you much about that person because I hardly remember her, but I remember she was selfish and thoughtless and unhappy. She thought of others only as how they impacted her. She felt no unity with anyone else and love was just a way to gain what she did not have, and she didn’t consider what the other lost to create her gain. I don’t miss her at all.

The reason she no longer exists is because I give my time to miracles. I am aware now that this is the proper use of time, and I have seen why this is true. My life bears witness to this truth. Using time constructively will continue my progress and when we no longer need time to wake up, time will cease to exist. Time is just another of those made up things we did when we decided to fool around with the separation idea. What the ego makes, the Holy Spirit uses for our good if that is our desire. So time, which we made to help create the illusion of separation, is used by Holy Spirit for miracles. You go, Holy Spirit!

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-4-12

9-4-12
14 Miracles bear witness to truth. They are convincing because they arise from conviction. Without conviction they deteriorate into magic, which is mindless and therefore destructive; or rather, the uncreative use of mind.

I understand that Miracles bear witness to the truth. They prove the truth to me, and remove all doubt and uncertainty. They shut down the ego thoughts and establish the truth in my mind. I love the sentence that says they are convincing because they arise from conviction. I looked up the word conviction in a thesaurus and these are the words they gave me: confidence, certainty, assurance, sincerity, passion, faith. Miracles are convincing because I am confident and certain in them. When I don’t see (with the ego mind) how they could unfold, I have faith in them.

Without conviction, without my confidence and certainty, without faith, they deteriorate into magic. Magic is the uncreative use of the mind. The mind is still very powerful and does amazing things even when it is being uncreative. Just look around at the world, look at your life, look at all we have done. 

This world is an awesome work of magic, unbelievable in its complexity and its ability to absorb our attention so completely that we forget where it came from. But no matter how real the world seems it is not a creation. It is not eternal, thank God, but will end when we lose interest in it. It does not have the attributes of God so it cannot be real. It is simply a wish fulfilled.

My purpose now is to reclaim my truth, and to remember who I am. I am doing that from within the world I made as I bring my uncreative thoughts to the Holy Spirit and ask Him what they mean, and what I should do with them.  I ask Him to correct them and put me back on the right track.

As I do this and experience success more and more often, I become more confident and certain. I am regaining my memory of being a creator. I am still working in the world and from a belief in separation, but because I am receiving guidance outside of this closed thought system, I am able to use my present circumstances to recognize their unreality. This is allowing me to return my mind to God and to true creativity.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-3-12

9-3-12
13 Miracles are both beginnings and endings, and so they alter the temporal order. They are always affirmations of rebirth, which seem to go back but really go forward. They undo the past in the present, and thus release the future.

I saw this miracle most clearly in my relationship with my mom. When I was younger I held a lot of grievances against Mom. I kept a tally of all her errors and went over it periodically. It was a very useful list when I felt guilty for something. I could always find the cause of my bad behavior to be something my mom did to make me the way I was. I even found a therapist to say this was true, thus making it official. Its funny now to realize how much I bought into this idea, but at the time it seemed true to me and very natural. After all, most people I knew agreed with this way of thinking.

I got older and had kids of my own. I began to make mistakes raising them, and some of my mistakes seemed a whole lot worse than anything on the list of my mom’s errors. I began to see Mom differently. I began to feel like I judged her too harshly because I didn’t understand how easy it is to make bad choices as a parent. I still had my list and I still felt like she was the reason for my errors, but I didn’t hold it against her so much. After I began the study of the Course I started seeing our relationship differently, but I was a long way from giving up the idea of projection and Mom was still a handy scapegoat a lot of time.

By the time I really began to absorb what the Course was telling me about projection and began to accept it as true in every case, my mom was much older and she had Alzheimer’s. Our communication was severely limited. At one time I wrote an article about my love and admiration for her, and when I went to the nursing home to see her I read it to her. She was not able to talk to me by this time, but I could tell she was happy to hear it. She paid attention to me, and though she didn’t seems to know who we were to each other, she could understand me, and she enjoyed hearing about this mother who was appreciated.

I read that article to her more than once because it was the only time I could tell that she was with me, really hearing me. It seemed to make her happy. Slowly she retreated into herself more and more as the disease took her brain function and it became harder and harder for me to be with her. I was also sorry that I had lost all chance to tell her how wrong I had been to judge her and how much I loved her and respected her. I felt so awful when I saw her in that condition and so guilty for my past behavior and for waking up to that behavior too late. It became excruciatingly painful to visit her and so I went less and less often, which just increased the guilt.

This is when the miracle occurred. I began to talk to mom in my mind. I told her all the things I wished I could tell her. I reviewed the list of grievances and I let the memories of those circumstances come to me. I was able to look at them with new eyes, with the eyes of forgiveness. These were not planned episodes, but simply happened from time to time. I would be driving along and suddenly would be knocked flat by a vivid memory of what happened. I would then, with the Holy Spirit’s help, forgive the whole thing and let it fade away.

By the time Mom died I had withdrawn those projections and was so clear of any anger or resentment that I was able to conduct her funeral. I had very little feelings of grief and was free to remember her fondly and to express my love and admiration for her while still laughing at her foibles. I love thinking about that funeral because it was proof of how much healing had occurred.

While the healing itself was taking place I realized that I did not have to be communicating body to body with my mom. When I had moments like the one in my car I knew that this communication was as real as any we had when we were together talking to each other. In fact it was more honest and real than our past communication. I held nothing back there were no words to limit our communication. That was a revelation.

The second thing that I got to experience is this principle of miracles. We used the present to undo the past and thus released the future. I cannot say what it meant to mom, but those moments of forgiveness healed the guilt in my mind and set me free. They also led me to this present moment when I would begin to realize that guilt is not real. Each moment of guilt that I allowed to be healed was teaching me this one lesson. I could let go of guilt because I made it. I made guilt up and so I could turn away from it knowing it was not real.

After Mom died I had moments of intense grief that lasted for about a year. Something would trigger a thought of mom and I would see another memory in my mind, but this time, instead of being a memory of a grievance I held against Mom, it would be a memory of something I did to Mom that I had never forgiven myself for doing. One time I saw a woman eating alone in a restaurant. She kind of looked like my mom and she seemed very lonely eating all by herself, and kind of sad. Suddenly I was flooded with memories of not being there for mom, of times when she called me and I didn’t have time for her. 

The shame and regret were so intense I had to leave the restaurant. I didn’t make it to the hotel before I had to pull over and just cry and cry. I absolutely had to call on the Holy Spirit to look with me because it was too intense and too painful to look alone, and I knew I had to look if I ever wanted to be healed, to forgive myself. These moments happened a number of times before I was able to let them all go and to accept full forgiveness. 

I thought I was grieving my mom, and surely I regretted not having her with me anymore, but the grief was really guilt looking for release. As painful as they were, I am grateful for those moments because again I was able to experience the miracle of forgiveness as in the present moment the past was undone and the future was released. Now that all is forgiven I am free, and free to love without needing anything from Mom, which is really the only way to experience love.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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