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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-22-12

Day 141
2 Reincarnation would not, under any circumstances, be the problem to be dealt with now. If it were responsible for some of the difficulties the individual faces now, his task would still be only to escape from them now. If he is laying the groundwork for a future life, he can still work out his salvation only now. To some, there may be comfort in the concept, and if it heartens them its value is self-evident. It is certain, however, that the way to salvation can be found by those who believe in reincarnation and by those who do not. The idea cannot, therefore, be regarded as essential to the curriculum. There is always some risk in seeing the present in terms of the past. There is always some good in any thought which strengthens the idea that life and the body are not the same.
I never think in terms of past lives anymore, but simply as other lives and even that may not be correct. For certain, though, past and future are just words and concepts we made up to make the illusion of separation. But from within the illusion where time is a concept we must take into consideration, dwelling in any time other than the present can be a distraction and an ego delaying tactic.

I can look into the past to see why I am afraid of heights, but it is in this moment that I decide to live my life without fear. I have read that sometimes when a person does a past life regression and discovers the reason for a behavior that behavior stops. But I think that must be like taking medicine for a problem.

It works because we have made a decision to be free of the illness. The medicine provides a way to get well that does not threaten our concepts too much. When we are ready, and when the natural healing will not frighten us, we will not need treatments to experience health. Health will be our natural state when the mind is healed of the belief in sickness.

In the same way, when I am ready to lead a fearless life, I will be healed of my fear of heights. Maybe a past life regression would help me release that fear but another would rise up to take its place. My goal is not to be free of a fear of heights, but to be free of fear, and that healing takes place right here, right now and needs no special agents.

There is nothing harmful in peaking at another life I have experienced as long as I remember where it is that healing takes place, and not use the belief in reincarnation as just another way to play around in the illusion. 

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-21-12

Day 140
24. IS REINCARNATION SO?
1 In the ultimate sense, reincarnation is impossible. There is no past or future, and the idea of birth in a body has no meaning either once or many times. Reincarnation cannot, then, be true in any real sense. Our only question should be, “Is the concept helpful”? And that depends, of course, on what it is used for. If it is used to strengthen the recognition of the eternal nature of life, it is helpful indeed. Is any other question about it really useful in lighting up the way? Like many other beliefs, it can be bitterly misused. At least, such misuse offers preoccupation and perhaps pride in the past. At worst, it induces inertia in the present. In between, many kinds of folly are possible.

There is so much I just do not know. I get that reincarnation is not what I thought it was. That’s ok, because I’m no longer in love with the idea that anything has to be a certain way. It seems that I have multiple experiences and none of them are real, just thoughts in the mind. I’m not born into a body, nor do I die from a body. This only seems to be happening.

And who is “I” anyway? It’s a good question, and asking it helps me open to the realization that I don’t know the answer and that I want to know the answer. Because I am coming from a place of complete unknowing, it is obviously not up to me to somehow get this information. The only helpful thing I can do is to acknowledge my ignorance. I am making room for something true in my mind by letting go of the idea that I already know. The only other thing for me to do is to desire knowledge. As I let go of trying to think this out with my little mind, I will be given knowledge.

There is no past, nor future. This understanding has been given to me so I know it is true as far as it goes. It is true to the extent that words can describe it and my limited view allows me to see it. I seem to have had experiences, and my understanding is that all of these experiences happened at once. It seems that I can access those experiences through placing my awareness there. I can use those experiences to awaken us if that is my choice. And all of that may simply be a metaphor for what happens. I don’t know.

If it is just a metaphor then it is a useful one, and if I need to understand differently, then that will be given me. It’s the same with the idea of reincarnation. It can be a useful metaphor as long as I don’t misuse it. If I use it to stay focused on the past I will fail to use this story, my present experience, to heal my mind.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-20-12

Day 139
7 This course has come from him because his words have reached you in a language you can love and understand. Are other teachers possible, to lead the way to those who speak in different tongues and appeal to different symbols? Certainly there are. Would God leave anyone without a very present help in time of trouble; a savior who can symbolize Himself? Yet do we need a many-faceted curriculum, not because of content differences, but because symbols must shift and change to suit the need. Jesus has come to answer yours. In him you find God’s Answer. Do you, then, teach with him, for he is with you; he is always here.

It only makes sense that there would be other forms of the same course. Not everyone is going to be attracted to this format. It is very western, very cerebral, which is funny since it leads us to let go of thinking. I love A Course in Miracles. I love it more and more as I grow into it. But I also find other formats helpful. I study The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament and sometimes it feels like a relief to read it after a particularly convoluted passage from the Course because NTI is more simply written.

I enjoy The Teachings of Inner Ramana, a westernized eastern teaching. Very deep teachings expressed in a minimum of words. Byron Katie’s The Work has powerful spiritual principles expressed in such a way that anyone of any religion or no religion can use it to become more realized. I enjoyed The Way of Mastery very much and it is like the Course, but has an entirely different tone.

The Holy Spirit has brought me to a number of different books and teachers, and sometimes these teachings seem to be a permanent part of my path and sometimes there seemed to be only an idea that He wanted me to see. I always ask Him to help me integrate what I am reading, to see and accept what it is in the teaching He would have me know.

Words can get in the way if I take them too literally. I hold the meanings lightly, remembering what the Course says about words. It says they are but symbols of symbols and thus twice removed from reality. It also reminds us that words are made by us to keep us separated. We shouldn’t be surprised then, that even in the Course community there can be debate and argument about the meaning of words in A Course in Miracles. This is, after all, the reason we made words, to keep us separate. And this is the reason I’m not exact in my use of terms.

I also think it is the reason I can enjoy so many forms of teaching without becoming confused. I had to laugh yesterday as I realized that some of the ideas from my religious background that I learned to dislike and even found offensive, I now see as true. The less attention I pay to differences, the more unified everything appears to me.

While I can find truth in many places, my heart seeks its answers from Jesus. I feel an affinity for his teachings, and love and gratitude for what he has done for us and continues to do. I feel gratitude that I have a part in his plan of Atonement, and that I feel his presence and his guidance as I do my part.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-19-12

Day 138
6 No one on earth can grasp what Heaven is, or what its one Creator really means. Yet we have witnesses. It is to them that wisdom should appeal. There have been those whose learning far exceeds what we can learn. Nor would we teach the limitations we have laid on us. No one who has become a true and dedicated teacher of God forgets his brothers. Yet what he can offer them is limited by what he learns himself. Then turn to one who laid all limits by, and went beyond the farthest reach of learning. He will take you with him, for he did not go alone. And you were with him then, as you are now. 

It seems to be my time to wake up from the dream of separation. If not in this lifetime, then certainly very soon. But that is all I can say about it. I don’t know what that means because I haven’t done it yet. Jesus says that no one on earth can grasp what Heaven is or what its one Creator really means. So I guess living awake is just a step, albeit a significant step, on the path.

I have suspected that, and this seems to confirm what I thought. I used to spend time trying to figure this all out and making up words to explain the unexplainable. I don’t waste time trying to guess what comes next anymore. Maybe there is no end. Maybe we create as we go.

There are those who have gone before me and who offer me their help and their words. That is enough. I am content to take the next step and the next step.  I step forward in happy anticipation of being surprised at what I find. So far, so good! But if I don’t know anything how is it I can be a teacher of God?

I certainly don’t want to continue to teach that which has limited me. I don’t want to continue to teach separation ideas. Jesus says that there are those whose learning far exceeds mine and so it must be that when I let go of what I think I know, and open my mind, then I will be given the words I need, and the words my brother needs.

Then Jesus says that I can only teach what I learn myself. So teaching is not me saying words, no matter how enlightened the source. Teaching is speaking from the Heart, the place of knowing. It is not instructing. An English teacher can instruct us on sentence structure without having a Heart knowing. All she needs are the facts and when I get those facts I can write a sentence that is grammatically correct.

Being a teacher of God is different. What I learn is learned deeply. It is an awakening of an ancient memory. And I cannot think of words to describe this. And I cannot think of words to describe the process of teaching. The words are just incidental to the real process, sometimes needed and sometimes not, and I suspect that teaching and learning is not actually what happens.

But it doesn’t matter what I understand about this. My part is to be empty and open and a willing channel. My part is to realize that I don’t know so that I can be given knowledge, and then to share what I have learned with whomever I am sent to. To share in whatever way I am given to share.

I am not alone in this, and a good thing, that! I am being led by one who went before me. He is leading me just as he was led. And then, mystery upon mystery, I am told that I was with him when this happened. Well, I must be changing because I used to be driven crazy by these paradoxes, but now I just enjoy the mystery of it.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-18-12

Day 137
4 The Name of Jesus Christ as such is but a symbol. But it stands for love that is not of this world. It is a symbol that is safely used as a replacement for the many names of all the gods to which you pray. It becomes the shining symbol for the Word of God, so close to what it stands for that the little space between the two is lost, the moment that the name is called to mind. Remembering the name of Jesus Christ is to give thanks for all the gifts that God has given you. And gratitude to God becomes the way in which He is remembered, for love cannot be far behind a grateful heart and thankful mind. God enters easily, for these are the true conditions for your homecoming.

We are reminded that the name of Jesus Christ is a symbol that stands for love and gratitude. It is not the historical man that I call on, because that would be reinforcing the separation idea. Jesus is now the Brilliance that enlightens my Heart. The thought of Jesus is the thought of forgiveness, of oneness, of healing, of fearlessness, of guiltlessness, of Home, of a loving God, of Love Itself.

I am drawn to the sentence that says, for love cannot be far behind a grateful heart and thankful mind. I have had a single experience of love as it is without the limits we place on it. Every thought of that experience puts me in a state of gratitude, but the gratitude is followed by sadness. The memory of unfettered love is not the same thing as the experience. This morning, I yearned for that experience again and asked the Holy Spirit if I could have it back. I immediately saw in my mind the ego objection. I could not function if I spent the day in such ecstasy. This thought was a reflection of my fear of God’s Love.

I think it is this fear of God’s Love that keeps me calling on other gods to bring me happiness. I call on the god of romance to bring me that special person to fulfill me, the god of money to bring me financial stability, the god of perfect parenthood to make me feel ok about my performance. I call on the god of spiritual paths to bring me the perfect book, the perfect teacher, the perfect prayer so that I can continue to walk this path without fear of reaching something I am not ready to embrace. I am disillusioned by the gods I have chosen and am grateful that this is so. 

Dear God, I don’t know anything. I come to you with a mind as free of thoughts as I can get it. I asked you what it felt like to truly love without conditions or limits, and you answered my prayer. I remember your gift and I long for it again. I don’t know how I could live like that, but I trust You, and wait for your answer. I am so grateful for the gifts I have received and I ask for this gift of a return to Love. I ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-17-12

In 2007 and then again in 2010, I journaled with the Holy Spirit as I did Lesson 136. I read it again this morning and realized how appropriate it is to what I am learning now in this study of the Manual for Teachers. I am also pleased to see that I understand it more deeply now than I did before. I am going to use it for my study for today.

Lesson 136
Sickness is a defense against the truth.

My Journaling
Sickness is a defense against the truth.

What does this lesson mean to me?
Everything is about purpose. I always ask, “What is it for?” The purpose of sickness is to hide reality through changing it from wholeness to separate parts. “The aim of all defenses is to keep the truth from being whole.” Sickness is to prove that I am a body and therefore an individual. It proves I cannot be the Son of God and therefore, God as All cannot exist. My existence proves He is not All there is, and so proves I destroyed Him.

“Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret, magic wands that you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe.” And clearly I want to believe that I am Myron, a separate individual body, a part that is a whole and this is a lie so absurd that it requires constant vigilance to continue to believe it.

Certainly, sickness is an excellent way for me to convince myself I am indeed a body. It is very hard to deny I am a body when I am in pain. Pain has a way of demanding my attention. The body is in pain and I feel pain therefore I must be a body, and voila, my tiny kingdom remains intact. As I follow this to its inevitable conclusion, I kill the body and so I have overcome life (God) to prove my decision is stronger than His.

What I want to remember is that sickness did not just happen to me. It is not caused by germs or accidents or anything outside my mind. If I am sick, I chose to be sick for the sole purpose of bringing my attention back to the ego. Through sickness I keep myself in deception which I think protects me from God; that is it protects me from the truth.

After I have waved my magic wand and created the defense of sickness I forget that I did it. Of course I do! How else would this work? By doing this lesson, and by reminding myself of the truth when it happens I am waking myself up. At first it is done without conviction because I don’t really see how I could have done this. I just don’t seem clever enough. But that is simply my resistance to the truth, and as I persist in my practice my desire for the truth overcomes the resistance.

I can choose to believe my crazy scheme to dethrone God and take His place has worked, but I cannot make it true. It is my illusion and I get to keep it as long as I can stand the pain, but nothing I believe can make it real. And God simply loves me and offers me happiness for that is His nature. In each moment I choose which I want; to be king of hell, or to be part of God. My choice does not change reality, but it does change my experience.

How can I apply this in my life right now?
I can remember the truth. This is what I am doing each time I question the insanity of the ego thought system. Each time I suffer in any way, I can look at this and remember that I chose to suffer and then set up the circumstances that allowed me to prove suffering is real. Today I choose to be mindful.

I notice that I do not choose to suffer as much as I used to. I also notice that when I have been very happy for an extended time, I become afraid and retreat into suffering, though I don’t do it as often and I am unable to remain unconscious to what I am doing, so it doesn’t last as long or hurt as much.

The way I use the ego to do this is that I will be perfectly happy and then I begin thinking about something sad or frightening. I bring into my life circumstances that cause pain, either physical or emotional.

…If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick.

2007
Holy Spirit I feel confused about this. Could you to talk to me about it?

My message from Holy Spirit
Me: Holy Spirit, I have been suffering with a stomach problem for a long time now. I try to think what my thoughts are that need to be corrected. I think I am going about this the wrong way.

Holy Spirit: It is true that the body can only reflect right minded thoughts or wrong minded thoughts. When the body is sick it is reflecting the idea that you are your body and it is defending against the idea that you could be anything else. You are literally convincing yourself that you are weak and defenseless.

The answer does not lie in finding the specific thought that caused a specific illness and then changing that thought. Instead, notice what your body seems to be indicating about your thinking. Do you feel weak, tired, sick and suffering? Now that you have noticed this be willing to realize that you did this to yourself. You chose to feel these things so that you would believe your story of being a body and being an individual. Now realize that this is not making you happy and be willing to do something different. I will do the rest.

Me: Am I wrong to care about my body being in pain, and to try to heal my body? After all, if it is not real what difference does it make? And if I try to heal it, won’t that be a defense?

Holy Spirit: Do you think it is God’s will that you experience yourself in pain? Do you think it is helpful to suffer? It is a matter of purpose, Myron. When you notice the body is in pain, what purpose do you see in that awareness? Do you think your purpose is to heal the body? Or do you see your purpose is to heal the mind? If your purpose is to allow Me to correct your thinking then you will be truly healed.

As you allow Me to work with your mind, you will be become clear as to what would be most helpful to do in the dream. Sometimes you need do nothing, and you simply accept the truth that you are not a body and that it needs no defense. Sometimes you are not ready to accept this is the truth, and you choose to use magic to allow yourself to feel healed.

You are not wrong to take medicine or see a doctor. You are not wrong to want to be free of pain. Choosing to use magic is not a cause for guilt nor is it going to set you back as you fear it will. You and I are working at the level of mind. You know that your purpose is to heal the mind. Give Me your willingness to see differently and you will have served your purpose.

My message to Holy Spirit
I must be feeling a lot of resistance to this message because it did not flow easily. But really it seems pretty simple now that I read it. I just need to remember that healing my body is not my purpose. My purpose is to allow my thoughts to be corrected, and a sick body just lets me know that there are mistaken thoughts to be looked at. On the other hand, once I see that I am projecting guilt onto my body and so it is sick, there is no point in experiencing pain and sickness.

I may not be able to accept complete and total healing (mind-changing) and I do not need to feel guilty if I choose to use magic as well. The thing that matters is that I know that sickness is a choice and does not come from outside my mind. I can make a different choice by choosing a different teacher.

2010
What I noticed as I read this lesson is that it is perfectly clear and perfectly helpful. In the past it seemed anything but that. It felt strange and confusing to me. Of course the only reason it seemed that way was because in the past I didn’t want to believe it.

As I read my own words from that past journaling I see how confused I was. I was experiencing guilt for my actions (such as using medicine to relieve pain when I could not immediately heal my mind) and that is such nonsense that I laugh at myself now. Any thought that creates a sense of guilt in me obviously comes from ego. God never tells me I am guilty. The ego says I am guilty for being sick, then says I am guilty for trying to heal myself. The ego doesn’t care why I am guilty, only that I know I am guilty.

What is my job? What am I to do when I am sick? I notice that the body is sick and remember that sickness is a decision I made to prove I am separate from God. I notice my thoughts and become aware of those thoughts that attack, judge and plan. I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking and heal my mind.  If I am in pain I take something for it if I need to or see a doctor if that is necessary. Those actions have nothing to do with healing; they neither heal nor prevent healing. It is only at the level of mind that true healing takes place. My job is to be willing to accept the truth.

 

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Study of Manual for Teachers 5-16-12

Day 135
3 What does this mean for you? It means that in remembering Jesus you are remembering God. The whole relationship of the Son to the Father lies in him. His part in the Sonship is also yours, and his completed learning guarantees your own success. Is he still available for help? What did he say about this? Remember his promises, and ask yourself honestly whether it is likely that he will fail to keep them. Can God fail His Son? And can one who is one with God be unlike Him? Who transcends the body has transcended limitation. Would the greatest teacher be unavailable to those who follow him?

This paragraph is about trust. I am reassured that I can trust Jesus because he is now one with God and so is like Him. I can trust that Jesus has not abandoned us. He promised that he would be with us always and he will keep that promise. I am grateful. I trust myself to complete my part because Jesus completed his. His completion guarantees my completion.

Trust was slow coming to me. First I used the word reluctantly, and with some fear. But I began to apply willingness, the little I had, then more and more. Now I notice that I am very willing to trust and that trust is a happy word for me. I trust Jesus to be there for me. I trust that he knows what he’s talking about and so I trust the books that have come through people from him. I trust him to guide me to the right books and teachers and to help me integrate into my understanding what it is that he would have me know from these sources.

I trust the Holy Spirit within, and so even when I don’t understand his instructions I follow them anyway. I trust myself to hear as clearly as I need to, and not to worry if I get it wrong because I trust the Holy Spirit to get the message to me again if needed. I trust myself to eventually be in full acceptance of my Higher Self. I trust myself, with the help given me, to awaken to the truth of my being.

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