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BECOME AS LITTLE CHILDREN

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are changed and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3

What could Jesus have meant when he said this? In what way are we to become as little children? I have spent my life, growing away from being a little child, maturing into an adult. If someone said that I was like a little child, I would probably take it as a criticism. I would wonder what I had done wrong. But Jesus surely had good reason to make this statement. So, let?s look for ways in which becoming as a little child might be a valuable thing.

One thing that comes to mind is that little children do not already think they know it all. With great fondness, and a certain longing for the good old days, I remember when my children would ask me a question and then wait in rapt attention for me to give them the answer. They had not already decided what the answer was; they really wanted to hear what I had to say.

Compare this to me when I ask my Father in Heaven a question. Seldom is it a question for which I want His answer. Generally, I am asking Him to agree with me. I can say, ?Father, would You please provide for my needs?? Am I asking Him what I need, or am I suggesting He make sure I get all the things I have already decided I need? If I have had a problem with someone in my life, do I say, ?Father, what do you want me to do? How do you want me to love this child of yours who is before me?? Or do I mean, ?Please make this jerk see things my way.? or ?Can?t you make all this go away for me??  What I may be asking for is a solution to the problem that provides an answer I want to hear. I have probably already decided on an answer; I just want instant delivery. The point is, as adults we seldom open our minds to a true answer. We have already made our minds up, and now we just want to get our way, or we just want validation that we are right.

Trust is something else that children do well. When my daughter was very young she came to me because she was upset. It had something to do with what another child had said to her. She wanted to tell me about it, but she was so upset with what was said that she couldn?t bring herself to tell me. I wanted her to share with me because then I could help her, but I would not force her to do so. Finally, with some gentle prodding from me, she finally came out with the whole story. I was able to help her see the incident in a different way, and she was relieved of the burden of her disappointment and anger. Even though she could not, at first, imagine how I could make this better, she trusted me as her mother to help.  So she came to me with her story, and because she had faith in my love and wisdom, was ready to take a painful look at what was troubling her.

I want to be as a little child in my faith. I want to come to God with what troubles me, and look at it with Him. He will not force me to unburden myself, but he waits patiently for me to realize that His love for me is unconditional. He waits patiently for me to reach a stage of willingness that will allow me to look with Him at the painful places in my life. I can do this when I feel guilty about a past action. He will unburden me of my guilt. He will show me a different way to see this, just as I did for my little girl those many years ago. Just as it took faith on her part, and courage as well, I must trust that God will not condemn me and that His love for me will heal me.

Something that little children have down pat is forgiveness. Don?t we make forgiveness seem so very hard? Children have it right. They don?t ?try? to forgive; they just do. I read an article recently by Rev. Hugh Prather in which he told a story about a child who wanted to invite a certain friend to her party. ?You?re not going to invite Joie to your party, are you?? asks the mother of this four year old. ?Don?t you remember what Joie did to you?? But the child answers, ?Joie is fun to play with.? There she did it. Children know how to forgive.

It is only as we grow older that we learn to hold onto our grievances. Then we forget how to forgive. We forget that forgiving is not hard, it is not something we try to do, it is just something we do. When I try to make forgiveness hard, I simply ask myself what I really want. Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? Sometimes I can?t have both. The little girl in our story had no problem deciding what she wanted. Being right took a far second to being happy. Perhaps one reason choosing happiness seems easier for a child is that they still have a lot of experience with happiness. They haven?t yet given their happiness away so often that they?ve lost touch with its value. I find that the more I practice choosing happiness, (or peace) the more I am motivated to choose happiness, to choose peace. I could get used to feeling happy!

Another reason forgiveness seems hard to us is that we become discouraged if we are unable to completely forgive the first time we try. I have often forgiven someone a slight, and in that moment, I really meant it; then a ways down the road (a day later, or a moment later) I find myself feeling anger over the same situation. The temptation is to give up. As Rev. Prather said in his article on how to forgive, forgiveness occurs only in the present. He reminds us that we don?t have to forgive for tomorrow, just for this instant. Otherwise, when a judgmental thought comes back, we feel like throwing up our hands and saying, ?This is impossible.?

I think this idea of living in the present moment is something else little children have nailed. It is so hard for adults to do, but kids do it with no effort. Can you remember your little one being so angry with you that they would shout, ?I hate you!? Two minutes later, they were snuggling in your lap, all love. Hey, that was then; this is now; living totally in the present. The problem with living in the past is that when we bring the past to the present, we absolutely guarantee the future will be just like the past. Not a good thought, is it?

I was thinking of examples of how we bring the past into the present. Perhaps you have heard someone say, ?You can depend on me,? and then immediately thought, ?Not likely.? Why would you think that? Could it be that you were judging the present statement on what has happened in the past? We do this so much that sometimes we are bringing the past we had with a completely different person into the present. If we took a moment to think it out, we would remember that it was a different person who let us down. Doesn?t mean this person is going to, but we keep bringing that unpleasant past moment into our present until we come to expect to be let down by everyone. We create a present in which we see ourselves as being unsupported, and surrounded by untrustworthy people. We begin to see ourselves as a victim.

Often, by the time we are adults we have done this so much that we start to believe that it is a necessary defense in our lives to judge each person and situation by the past. We tell ourselves that this is part of the maturing process. We learn to protect ourselves. In this process, however, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to experience life differently than we have in the past. As soon as we expect people to let us down, we have set up life to provide exactly that. Our very expectations set into motion the words and acts that will bring this about.

But, there is a different way to see this.  When Jesus said that we should not judge, he did not say this because he wanted to leave us defenseless. He said it because not judging is our defense. When we become as little children, we leave the past in the past. If little Joie had broken her friend?s toy, well as far as her friend was concerned, that was then. Now they are going to have fun. Young children (before they are taught differently) don?t judge. They don?t think back to what happened in the past before deciding how they feel about someone now. They just feel what they feel. They live in this moment.

Does that mean that if someone reacts violently, I should just forget that it happened and take up with that person again? No, of course I don?t mean that. God does not expect us to be self destructive. If someone hurts me, I will avoid putting myself in the position where I can be hurt again. However, I will not bring that expectation with me into every relationship. I will let each relationship be what it is, without comparing it to the one that came before it.

There is nothing more damaging to a relationship than bringing the past into the present. I heard someone say that even though she still loved her partner, there was no way they could remain together because there was just too much water under the bridge. What she really meant is that they cannot leave the past in the past. Every disagreement becomes a battleground to re-hash the past. They have no chance at a future any different from the relationship they had in the past, because they have brought it with them. They have allowed past hurts to so clutter the ground on which they have established their relationship, that there is no clear spot on which to build their future.

In their wonderful book, ?The Journey That Never Was? DavidPaul and Candace Doyle share with us the message they got from the Holy Spirit regarding their new relationship. They were told: ?It is essential that you both be vulnerable, open, honest, sweet, loving, innocent, and as little children in this process because then God can work through you to show you how to be with each other.?

I wonder what it would be like to follow that advice. What would it feel like? I notice that He did not advise them to be careful. He did not tell them to learn from their past errors. He did not remind them how easy it is to get hurt when you open to others. Instead, they were directed to do just the opposite. Like little children they begin their relationship completely open, honest and vulnerable. They begin with blank slates. Like little children they go into their relationship with hearts open, waiting for direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit.
This is a perfect example of what Jesus meant when he said we should become as little children. I try to do this in all areas of my life with varying degrees of success. I try to recognize that I don?t understand what is in my best interests. I don?t know it all. That is why I ask God for help in my life. He cannot help me to see the truth if I already think I have the answer.

I try to forgive as a little child forgives; completely and immediately. Sometimes the adult in me gets in the way and holds to my grievances as if they are of great value. Always I have to finally decide what is of more value to me, my righteous indignation or the peace of God.

I also try to live in the present moment. I try to leave the past in the past where it no longer exists. I know that this is essential if I hope for a future that is better than what I had before.

In choosing to become as a little child, I am choosing to put God in charge of my life. I am choosing to hear His Voice and follow His guidance. I am choosing a peaceful, joyful, and loving life.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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BRINGING GOD INTO MY RESOLUTIONS

BRINGING GOD INTO MY RESOLUTIONS

Well here we are at the beginning a new year. Time to make some New Years resolutions if you have not done so already. Do you enjoy this ritual of looking back over the past year to find those places in your life that could use some improvement, and then resolve to do better? I used to enjoy making this list with items like more exercise, eating healthy food, losing weight, making more money, and so on. What I began to realize was that the list never changed. Year to year I would begin by resolving to change the same old stuff. I would begin each year with a long list of behavior modifications that I seldom thought of again until the next ?new year?. Why did I resolve to change my ways, and then fail to do so? If these changes were important enough to me to put on my list, why were they not important enough to motivate follow through?

Eventually I decided that it was just too depressing to keep looking at that same old list with all its unresolved issues. I should either do something to change things, or stop making lists. So I don?t make new years resolutions anymore.  Well, that is not entirely true. When a friend asked me if I had made my new years resolutions I said no. But then I realized that over the years there has been a change. I do make resolutions. In fact, I make them daily. I didn?t even recognize them as resolutions until I thought about it, because these resolutions are different.

My daily resolutions are different in two ways. First, I choose carefully what I would resolve to change, and second I have powerful help so, with consistent effort, I succeed (which is why I didn?t associate these resolutions with the new years variety.)  First, choosing what I want to change: No, I didn?t gain a better track record by making an easier list. If anything, I have chosen more challenging tasks. I am, however, starting to look carefully at what I want in my life and how I can achieve that change. What I see clearly is that I don?t really know what will make me happy.

I see that I will have to figure out what I really need in my life to bring me happiness. I haven?t been very good at this in the past. I have thought that happiness was being married to a certain man, weighing less, having more money, eating chocolate. I have been wrong about all of those as well as most other things I thought would make me happy. What I have been right about is listening to the Voice for God. A Course in Miracles has a passage that says: Only the Holy Spirit know your needs?.Leave then your needs to Him. So that is my starting place.

I will leave my needs to Him. I put the Holy Spirit in charge of everything, and I do this by bringing Him into all parts of my life. So, if I think I need more prosperity in my life, I ask Him to be a part of this. I ask the Holy Spirit to be my business advisor.  This requires faith because I am putting Him in charge and so I must have faith in His Love for me. In order for this to work, I must first believe that God knows more than me, and second, that God does not need sacrifice. Otherwise, I will be afraid of His answer.

The first half of that proposal sounds silly at first glance. Of course God knows more than me. I know that, don?t I? Well, now that I think about it, perhaps I have not always thought so. There have been times when I have asked God what I should do, and have provided the answer He should give me, as if I have a better answer than He. I then wait for Him to do my bidding, and when it doesn?t work out like I have demanded; I have thought that God wasn?t listening.

This is the ?vending machine? approach to God; put in your prayer, punch the appropriate button, and wait for your answer to fall in your lap. This is not really putting God in charge. It is really an effort to be in charge myself with God doing the work. Even if I get what I ask for, is it really going to be what I want? I can just hear God saying, ?This is what you have done before, and how has that worked out for you?? Oh my, I must be a constant source of wry amusement for the Universe.

If I am going to put God in charge of my prosperity, I must let Him answer the question. That means I will have to release all attachment to the answer. I have not really put him in charge if my prayer goes like this: I want to be more prosperous this year. Please send me more customers, a new job, the winning lottery ticket. I have given Him the answer because I am attached to that outcome.

I have been wrong about what I thought would make me happy so often in the past that you would think I would be relieved to turn that decision over to a Higher Power. Now that I look at it, I see that I need to turn over not only the answer, but the question as well. Here is what I mean. I have asked for more money before, and I have received more money, and that didn?t make me happy. How much is enough to make me happy? Maybe I have been asking the wrong question. This question comes with the assumption that I know what will make me happy; that more money will make me happy. So, what I am doing is loading the question so that I will get the outcome I am attached to. Do you see what I mean?

If I don?t seem to have enough money, it seems pretty obvious that I need more. It seems obvious that having enough money to buy new shoes when the old pair wears out would make me happy; having enough money to pay my rent on time would make me happy. Some of these needs feel pretty compelling. So it would seem that the proper question would have something to do with greater prosperity, and certainly God knows that while we live in this world we need certain things. But, what if I could be happy while I wait for the manifestation of what I need? What if I didn?t have to go through the anxiety while not knowing what was coming (or not coming)? What if I could be joyful regardless of what seemed to be happening to me? This would be real happiness. Not having my peace dependent on what is happening in my life would be real happiness.

So, I need a new question as well as a new answer. Instead of resolving to work harder, win bigger, or whatever I think will increase my prosperity; instead of asking for more money with the assumption that this will make me happier, I am going to make a whole new resolution. This is my resolution for the New Year. I choose to put God completely in charge of my happiness. I resolve to make no decisions about what would make me happy, and I choose to give up all attachment to the outcome. In my new resolution I say, ?God, give me your Joy, in whatever form You know I need it. I have absolute faith in Your judgment. I know You love me because I am Your child. I know You want me to be happy. I will not tell You what Your answer should be.?

Wow! That sends shivers up my arms! Are they shivers of excitement, or shivers of fear? I don?t know, maybe a little of both. It will take some practice on my part to leave all this stuff in God?s Hands. When I become fearful, I will want to take it back. Now is that a good definition of a control freak? ?Here God, I don?t think I can trust you with this thing in my life. Give it back, and I?ll worry it into submission.?

How about my resolution to eat better? What does this really mean to me? What am I asking for? I think that what I am asking for is a diet that contains plenty of chocolate cake, and that will make me skinny and very healthy. Amen. Even if I can get past what I want the answer to be, I need to re-think the question. When I ask for guidance, I hear the Holy Spirit saying, ?How can you use this issue to bring a clearer awareness of yourself in God??  That is the real question, because that will lead to my happiness. The answer I got to that question was to ask the Holy Spirit to be with me in this situation. I ask Him to eat all my meals with me. In learning to bring God into every part of my life, I am learning to make myself happy.

When I give the question to the Holy Spirit, He reminds me that Jesus said it does not matter what goes into the mouth, but rather what comes out of it. The Holy Spirit tells me that it is not my eating that needs His correction; it is my thoughts that need correction. He also reminds me that it doesn?t matter what form correction takes. This issue will be as good a vehicle to strengthen my spiritual growth as any other.

So, if I were putting this on a list of new years resolutions, I would change the list from ?I need to lose some weight and eat healthier,? to ?I will ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thoughts about food and eating, and I will do this by inviting Him to join me every time I eat.?  I am bringing God into the problem. This is now a problem that comes with a built in solution. I know what I want to accomplish and I know how to do it.

I?m starting to see a pattern here. I am first recognizing that I don?t have the answer to my own problem. I recognize that God knows what the solution is, and that His solution will always work, and will always lead to my happiness. I recognize that the first step in any solution will be to bring God into the problem. I recognize that my part is to keep Him there by not trying to take the problem back, and by not telling God what the answer should be; and, in fact, by not trying to define the question to predispose the answer.

Like all other forms of spiritual growth, this is going to take some consistent practice on my part. I have spent most of my life trying and not succeeding. I have done it one way and when that didn?t work, I did it the same way again. I might change the form a little, but the content has remained the same. I would decide what the problem was, I would decide what the answer was, I would give the package to God for prompt delivery.  I would rail at God for not coming across as requested, and then berate myself for being unworthy. Well, I?d given that process a fair chance to work; in fact I?d given it over 50 years of chances. I began to suspect that I might need to try something different.

This is where I am now. The last few years I have been learning a different way to make changes in my life. This new way is working a lot better. I am not doing it perfectly; it is an evolving process. The more I practice my faith, the stronger it gets. The more often I invite God into my life, the more clearly I hear His Voice. Hearing the Holy Spirit is a natural thing for us to do because God gave us His Voice to guide us back to Him, but if we fall out of the habit of listening, it takes some little effort to get back into the habit. The Holy Spirit is patient though, and works with us where we are. He will get the message to us if we want to hear it.

If you are making a list of New Year?s resolutions, I invite you to form the happy habit of inviting God into this effort. This year could very well be your most exciting year ever. Just make your first resolution that you will invite God into each area of your life. Do you have a relationship issue? Invite God into that relationship. Ask Him what He wants for you in this relationship. Do you have unresolved issues with people or circumstances? Invite God in. Ask Him for a solution-His solution. Tell Him you are willing to set aside your own solutions, and accept His. Do you have health problems? Invite God into this place in your life. Ask Him to heal the thoughts that support ill health. Ask Him where He wants you to go with this. Every problem has a gift to offer. Ask Him for the gift He offers you so you can move past this. Resolve this year, that you will seek for the joy that life brings when you invite God in.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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We Live in God

WE LIVE IN GOD

In God, we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:28.  That is the reason all things are possible in God. All things are possible because we are in God. Why is that so hard to believe? If we are in God, why do we seem to be so unhappy much of the time? Why do we experience pain and fear and guilt? Why does there seem to be so many miserable people leading sad lives? The circumstances of our lives seem to argue against God, or argue for an insane God.

The answer is simple. We dream in God. Genesis tells us that Adam (who is representative of all God?s children) went to sleep. Nowhere does it say that he awoke. We still sleep, and we dream. We dream that we left God, that we turned our back on Him and walked away. We dream that we recreated ourselves and instead of one we became many, separating ourselves into man and woman, into different colors, different personalities. We kept dreaming separation dreams until the differences became endless. We splintered our one holy self until it seemed impossible to even discern the child that God created, much less put it back together.

And in our dream of abandoning God and our true nature by walking out of paradise, we experienced the crushing fear and guilt of turning our back on our Creator. We became afraid of our loving Father, and afraid to wake up. So we chose to forget that we went to sleep and dreamed.

But God, Whose love for us is all encompassing and endless, put His Voice in us as a gentle reminder of our true reality. We call the Voice for God the Holy Spirit. This Voice is always available to us and will lead us back to God when we are ready to listen; when we are ready to wake up.

So, wake up! Wake up to the joy of who you are. Wake up and know the peace of God which passes all understanding. Wake up and know your oneness with your Creator and with each other. Do you feel lost? Do you feel so distant from God that you cannot imagine that you are in God? Do you sometimes feel so crushed by a life time of disappointments that you cannot imagine living a life of pure joy? Have you made mistakes? Does the weight of those mistakes seem awful, so smothering that you can?t see yourself lifting the weight of that guilt from your shoulders?

Well, take heart!  All you need to do is wake up. And God placed within us the means to wake gently and surely from this nightmare. The Holy Spirit speaks to us of our Father and the home He has prepared for us. He tells us of our Father?s endless and unwavering love for us. He gently reassures us, like the spiritual children that we are. He reminds us that we don?t have to remain in this bad dream any longer than we want to-that our Father waits patiently for our return. God doesn?t condemn us. He doesn?t believe in our ?sins?. He is the loving Father, joyfully awaiting the return of His prodigal children.

Could this be true? Could it be that simple? Is there truly hope? If so, how do we awake? How do we come out of this dream? In my guilt and fear I have worked hard to block out the Voice for God. Perhaps the same is true for you as well. Rest assured, God would not have given us His Voice if He did not mean for us to hear It. He made it easily assessable to us. The first step to returning to our natural state, which is Heaven, is to recognize that the world has nothing to offer. This is also the hardest step. I experienced a huge resistance to this, and still experience resistance, though the resistance is never as strong as it used to be.

I argued against the idea that the world has nothing to offer me because it seemed to me that, with all the bad, there is a lot of good as well. I asked the Holy Spirit about love. What about falling in love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person? This is the knowing I received from the Holy Spirit. Love as the world offers it is conditional and temporary.  It is uncertain and fragile. Like everything the world offers, it is like a beautifully wrapped box with a bomb inside. No matter how lovely it is at first, it has the potential to blow up in my face. So even while things are going great, somewhere deep in my subconscious, I am plagued with dread of losing it. What kind of gift is that? Is this happiness?

So, does this mean that love is not a good thing, and that I should not seek it? No, because there is a way to love even in this dream that is of God. If I choose God instead of the world, love comes without conditions, and it is eternal. In fact, when I choose God and only God, love is all there is. Call it special love, and holy love. Special love is of the world. It is for some people and not for others. It is different depending on circumstances. There are many conditions which must be met before it can enter, and it can easily be lost.

Holy love is from God rather than from the world. It knows no bounds. It doesn?t love one person more than another, nor differently. There are no conditions on its presence.  How a person acts doesn?t change the love. It has no limits and is steadfast. It never changes nor can it be lost. Love from God is the very fabric of life. It is the raw material from which all else flows. We can block God?s Love from our awareness of it, but we cannot change or destroy it. Can we love each other with the love of God? Yes! We certainly can, and in fact, that is what we are created for.

All things the world has to offer are temporary at best and are always dual in nature, there being a good side and a bad side. All things in the world lead to loss. The most beautiful sunset ends. The lushest forest dies away or is destroyed. Even while it exists in all its beautiful magnificence, it contains the potential for loss and so the pleasure one feels at its beauty is tinged with the certain knowledge that it will end.

In our creation we had total peace, complete joy and love such as we can no longer even imagine. We traded it for dreams of elusive and uncertain pleasures. We could have the peace of God, and instead we choose our little dramas. We could have absolute joy, and instead we choose illness, pain and fear. We could have unlimited and unchanging love, and instead we choose a pale imitation. And we call this life and revel in the next emotional high, all the while waiting in dread for the inevitable plunge into darkness. This is not life. This is death by degrees.

All we need to break free of this vicious cycle is a little willingness. We don?t even need complete willingness, just a little willingness. We can say, ?God, I am willing to entertain the thought that I want your gifts, instead of what I have given myself. I am willing to consider that there might be a better way; that life doesn?t have to so closely resemble hell. When I have done this, I have opened the door of my mind just a crack. I have peeked through that crack and invited God in. He will take full advantage of even that small bit of willingness on my part. His radiant Light will begin to flow in through that small opening, lightening the dark places in my mind. His angels will slip through to support my every small effort with their strength. His Voice will become more distinct in my mind. The change in my life that results from this small effort on my part will motivate me to open that door wider.

Once I have decided to turn my back on the world with its pathetic offerings, and have decided to place my faith in God?s gifts, it is only a matter of staying vigilant for God. The world will continue to tempt me, offering unlimited distractions to regain my attention and my allegiance. Jesus experienced this, too, in His forty days of temptations.  The world and all its ?glories? were laid at his feet, and all he had to do was accept them. Jesus saw them for the pale imitations they were, and turned his back on them.

And so must we, if we seek a spiritual awakening. God did not leave us alone to find our way home. We have the Holy Spirit to turn to when we are unsure how to respond to anything the world offers. Some of its gifts seem good and some of them seem bad, but they are all the same if they do not come from our Father. If what you are being offered does not bring love and joy and peace into your life, the Holy Spirit will judge it to be unworthy of a child of God.

We live in the world and so we need things, but there is a way of having them that will not hurt us. A course I took put it like this: ?When we ask for things of the world on our own, we are asking for hell whether we realize it or not. When we let the Holy Spirit guide the prayer of our heart we are returned to our natural place in Heaven.?

It is not hard to learn to bring all thoughts to the Holy Spirit for his interpretation. It only requires practice, and life provides plenty of practice opportunities. I had a chance to practice this quite recently. My daughter, Sheryl had surgery that became infected and she had to go in for more surgery. During this ordeal, the world offered me great drama. I could feel perfectly justified in spending my days and nights in fear. After all, who wouldn?t under the circumstances, considering the pain my daughter was suffering, and the potential danger.

I could tell the story of my fear for my daughter as I worried and fretted. People would express their concern and try to console me. I could spend my time busily doing unnecessary tasks, looking worried and fearful, and so reassuring myself that I am a good and caring mom. I could experience the temporary highs when things seemed to be going well- and then the awful fear and dread when events seemed uncertain. I could tell myself that these roller coaster emotions mean that I live. This drama is a gift of the world.

In fact, that is exactly what I chose, at least at first. I recognized from my loss of peace that I had chosen against God. I gave myself some quiet time, and I brought all of this stuff to the Holy Spirit. I told Him how hard it is to put my fears aside, but that I was willing to do so. I told Him that it was hard for me to imagine feeling any differently in the circumstances, but I was willing to see this in another way. I gave the Holy Spirit what willingness I had, and asked Him to heal my unwillingness. It seemed, at first, that it was just too hard to release my fears to God, but that is the miracle. I only need to be willing to do so. I don?t have to heal my thoughts. That is the Holy Spirit?s job.  He heals my mind and gives me another way to see.

The Holy Spirit gave me a new vision. He showed me the whole and perfect child of God behind the weak and vulnerable person I had been seeing. He reminded me that I have a purpose and that purpose is to keep God?s Vision of Sheryl. What we focus on grows and becomes stronger. The longer I held God?s Vision of Sheryl, the more real it became for me. Soon, the fear and anxiety began to melt away as their cause faded from my mind. I began to have dreams of healing rather than dreams of death.

I contacted friends and asked them to hold this vision with me, and also to see me as strong in my purpose. As we join in God?s work, we become stronger. Remember what Jesus said about when two or more are gathered in His name. And so, in His name I gathered strength.

When my eyes were drawn to the picture the world was offering me, I returned my thoughts to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to renew God?s Vision for me. When I thought, ?But what if she gets really sick?? the Holy Spirit reminded me that no matter what seems to happen in the world, Sheryl rests in God. God is her strength and her safety.

As I chose God over the world, all the fears and anxieties continued to dissolve, and were replaced with certainty, and love, and peace. Each time I was tempted to look at what the world seemed to offer, I repeated the process. Each time I accepted God?s gifts instead of the worlds, I became stronger in my commitment, and it became easier to do.

Probably we have all experienced turmoil and chaos in our lives. Some of us have experienced grief. There may have been moments when you have felt abandoned and wondered where God had gone. Well, know this: God has not gone anywhere and neither have you. You are in God where He placed you, and nothing can change that. You need only awaken to His love and His care to bring this awareness back into your life.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A Peace Message

A Peace Message

Peace in our world seems to be more and more elusive. It is a frightening situation. My first reaction is denial. I try not to think about it, and try instead to pretend that all is well. I don?t have anyone close to me in Iraq and I don?t watch news, so it is easier to stay in denial.

The worst part about what is happening today is the feeling of having no control. The people who are making the decisions don?t ask my opinion and don?t seem to care what I think. They are feeding the fear which drives the need to attack and defend. Most of the time I think it is because those in charge are driven by their own fear, and in my more paranoid moments I am afraid their motives are centered around power and financial gain.

There is little I can do to influence the decisions of those in power other than to write my congressman and let him know that I am for peace and that I vote. But, that doesn?t mean there is nothing I can do to promote peace. I can choose peace on a personal level. If I wait until the world feels peaceful to experience peace in my life, I have a long wait. The world isn?t about peace. In fact, it is about the very opposite. The world is about separation, which fosters conflict and chaos. 

In our separated state, every one is in conflict with everyone else in one way or another. We are constantly drawing a line in the sand. I live on this side of the bridge, they live on the other side. I am from Louisiana. This makes me different from those in other states. I want my congressman to put my needs ahead of those who live elsewhere. I am from the south, they are from the north. I draw another imaginary line in the sand where I perceive my country ends, and theirs begins. I differentiate myself by gender, by skin color, by culture. Every way I describe myself in some way excludes someone else.

Every time we foster separation, we are sacrificing peace.  Our only hope for peace is Unity. Instead of looking for ways to make different, look for ways we are the same. Forget where I was born. Forget what language I speak, where I went to school, what kind of work I do. None of that means anything. None of that is going with me when I leave this life. All that I will take with me is what God created. All I will take with me is my Spirit, and in Spirit, we are the same; we are one. In our oneness there is only peace. So, one way I can foster peace is by looking past all that insignificant stuff and seeing in you only what is real.

In the end, peace is a personal issue. I look around at all that is happening and I think that peace is beyond my grasp. So much of what I see suggests anything but peace. I have a problem, I solve the problem, and another problem pops up. The problems will always be here. If I intend to wait until they are all solved in order to experience peace, I can just save myself the disappointment and give up now.  But I can have peace, not because I have solved my problems, but in spite of my problems. How I feel about what is happening in my life is up to me. If I feel anxious and frightened; if I have given my peace away, I can choose again. I can choose peace. You can choose peace. We can choose peace, you and I, regardless of what seems to be happening all around us.

To make this work, we have to decide that the peace of what God is what we want; that the peace of God is all we want. Once we make that decision, it is only a matter of practicing peace until the decision for peace has become so much a part of our consciousness that we choose it automatically in every circumstance. I choose peace. My decision in this area has been made, and I feel the support of Heaven in my decision. I know that peace is possible on a personal level, and as this choice spreads to other people, the way we see our world will change. Eventually, through the weight of many, many individual decisions for peace, our world will begin to mirror heaven rather than hell.

Now that I have chosen peace, how do I practice it? First, I understand that I strengthen what I support with my belief. So I am very careful what thoughts I entertain. If I feel a loss of peace, I know that my thoughts are about war, instead of peace. I try to follow my feelings to the thoughts that caused them and then to the beliefs that foster those thoughts. For instance, the other day I was reading the paper and came across something that President Bush said which caused me to feel angry. I stopped and asked the Holy Spirit to look with me at this. My anger signaled me that I had lost my peace. What caused it? What were the thoughts that triggered this loss?

I see that I was thinking I disagreed with what the President said. I thought he was making a mistake. I wondered if he cared about all the young men and women whos lives he was responsible for. I felt powerless to change what he says and does, and yet I will be very much affected by his actions.  No wonder I had lost my peace. Unless I deliberately go through this process, I simply feel anger and loss of peace, but am unaware of the thoughts that brought these feelings on. OK, I see my thoughts pretty clearly. Now what? I ask the Holy Spirit to help me get to the belief behind the thoughts.

The Holy Spirit helped me to see that I was feeling so threatened because I believe that I am weak and vulnerable. The reason I feel like that is because I think I am on my own, that I chose this state by denying God His Fatherhood. I literally turned my back on God, and now think He is mad at me, and has left me to fend for myself. God created me like Himself, but now I have turned the tables (in my deluded mind, at least) and have created Him to be like myself. I have given Him an ego with which to be offended, and so see Him reacting in the same way I would react. I see God as leaving me weak and vulnerable, without the power He created me with, as punishment for my choices.

I am free to continue to believe this if I want. God will not force me to accept His Love. He will not force me to see things differently, to accept that His Love is unconditional. However, I can invite the Holy Spirit into my mind and ask that He heal my thoughts, and He will. That is His joy and His purpose. He will never fail to respond to the slightest welcoming on my part. My invitation to healing is celebrated in Heaven.

As the Holy Spirit heals my thoughts, I feel the peace of God envelope me like a warm blanket on a cold night. As my mind is soothed, I become aware that He invites me to see President Bush as God sees him. I am able to see Bush and his assistants as the children of God that they are. I see that they are doing the best that they can. I am grateful that I am not in their place, and that the hard decisions are not mine to make. Through this healing, I am able to back away from my self declared war, and to live my life in peace.

So, I have taught myself to be aware of my feelings. I have followed those feelings to my thoughts. I have looked with the Holy Spirit at some of the beliefs behind those thoughts. I have invited the Holy Spirit to heal my mind, and He, of course, has responded to my call. Does this mean that I am through? Does this mean that I will never have another unpeaceful moment? Well, maybe, but probably not. It will probably take some practice to make this state of mind permanent for me. No problem; I will have many opportunities to practice.

Another thing I have learned is, I cannot compartmentalize my beliefs. If I want peace in one part of my life, I cannot practice war in another part. If someone makes me angry in my day to day life, and I decide to make my anger real and justified, I will lose my peace. Here is the thing; I cannot lose my peace a little; I cannot lose my peace in part of my life and keep it in another. If I give up my peace at all, I am not in peace. So, when I committed to the idea of putting peace first, I did so with the realization that it was a total commitment. I choose peace in every situation.

This seemed overwhelming at first. I couldn?t imagine how I would do it. And by myself, I could not. But, I am not by myself. I have the help of Heaven. I have the help of the Holy Spirit. I am guided and I am strengthened and I am healed. All I have to do is remember to ask, and give all the willingness I can muster to my acceptance of the help offered.

When I heard that my daughter,Susan would not be with me for Christmas, I lost my peace. I felt so sad. I felt a lot of anxiety. I worried about how she would handle it. I wanted it to be someone?s fault so I could project these uncomfortable feelings outward and get the temporary illusion of being rid of them, but I couldn?t think who to blame. I reasoned with myself about this, telling myself that it is just another day, and that she made the mature choice to stay and work instead of giving into her feelings of homesickness. But nothing made me feel better. I was not a peace. I was in conflict. I was at war. I started to notice that I was feeling tired. These emotions were draining my energy. I was also losing interest in the Christmas season. I wasn?t offering blessings to others with my actions, often not even offering a smile, the simplest gift of all. I began to look at my work as a burden I wanted to just get through even though this is usually my favorite time of the year at work. I knew that I had given up my peace with Susan not coming home, and by giving up my peace in this one area of my life, loss of peace had spread through the rest of my life like a rampant virus, eating up my happiness.

I remembered my commitment to peace and so took all these feelings and these thoughts to God. He reminded me that I was equating Susan with her body which can, indeed, be separate from mine, but that she is not her body. In spirit we are one in God, and cannot be separate. In God there is no space and no time. Through the Holy Spirit, I began to experience my connection with Susan and to feel the same love I felt when I held her as tiny baby in my arms. That love cannot be lost and cannot be taken from me by distance.

I regained my peace, and that peace spread to the rest of my life and touched everyone in my life. Just as they could feel my unease even though they may not recognize it for what it was, they could now feel my peacefulness. Peacefulness is of God and so it is strong, and it is extended, from one to the next. We accept it into our lives, and this makes it available to others who come into our lives. Peacefulness is attractive. When we see it in someone else, we want it for ourselves. This is how we spread peace.

I have talked about how I have lost my peace over what politicians are saying and doing; over war with other countries, and because Susan couldn?t come home for Christmas. The temptation is to put these in order of importance. Going to war with another country seems far more important than Susan missing Christmas at home. But, to my peace of mind, one is just as important as another. This is because if I lose my peace, I?ve lost my peace. It doesn?t matter why I gave it up, it is gone. So, in that way, all things that I allow to disrupt my peace are the same, and have the same solution.

In order to regain my peace I only need to take the un-peaceful thought, whatever it is, to the Holy Spirit for healing. With the Holy Spirit?s help, I will change my mind. No thought is harder to change than any other. If it seems harder, it is only because I am choosing not to change my mind. I am choosing to hold onto the thought. Once I release my resistance to changing my mind, I can regain my peace. It is never any harder than this, and never any easier.

So, this is what I have learned about peace. If I want peace for my country, for my planet, I must first choose peace for myself. Peace is a personal choice. It is a matter of looking at my thoughts with the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to heal all those thoughts that do not foster peace. It is about rejecting separation thoughts and choosing to see our oneness instead.  My peace will be attractive to others and they will want it for themselves. This chain of peace will gather strength as more join it. The combined choice for personal peace will bring peace to our world. My responsibility is to choose peace for myself. With God?s help, I can do this.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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MY WANTING IS A WALL BETWEEN ME AND HEAVEN

Sometimes I feel like there is a wall between myself and Heaven. The wall is made up of stones that are my wanting. What do I want? What do I think I want that is more than Heaven? My ego provides me with a wide array of “things” that catch my attention. The world is full of distractions. That is what it is for. When I see these things and think they are out of my reach, they become compelling, and I give my time and effort to attaining them.

When I first thought I might like to remove the wall, I tried to move the stones one at a time, and they were heavy and awkward. When I learned to seek help from the Holy Spirit, the bricks seemed to become lighter, and easier to move. Sometimes, I would take one down only to put it back in place because my desire to release it wasn’t complete. So it has been slow going.

I am starting to think, though, that the stones are not heavy at all. In fact, they are starting to feel ethereal. Instead of the Holy Spirit helping me to lift and move them, we are beginning a different process. He is teaching me to see through the stone wall. He is showing me how insubstantial it really is. The stones are an illusion. I think they are solid and heavy only because I want them to be solid and heavy. As I change my mind about that, I begin to think I can walk right through that wall. Right now I am still afraid to do it, but I am willing to release my fear. I invite the Holy Spirit into my mind and ask that He heal my fear thoughts.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A True Christmas Gift

I love Christmas. I love that we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday. I love the giving and receiving of gifts. But when I think about it, I realize that every day is a holy day because it is filled with gifts for me. Each person I meet today gives me the opportunity to love him or her completely. If I choose to take advantage of this opportunity, I will be given the gift of feeling completely loved. It is the law of giving and receiving. As I give, so shall I receive.

I don’t always give and receive wisely. I was thinking about something that happened when I was married. I wanted to buy something for my son at Christmas, but I knew if I asked Greg about it, he would say no. So, I didn?t want to ask. I just decided to buy what I wanted. It cost too much money and I felt guilty. It felt dishonest, and like a betrayal. It also expressed a depressing lack of trust in God as my Source, so I felt guilty for not having faith. I didn?t like this feeling, so I decided it wasn’t my fault.

All those feelings of guilt and betrayal felt so bad, I wanted them out of me so I just spewed them all over Greg. This is called projection. I projected the guilt and betrayal out of me and onto Him. Now I could imagine he was the one who was guilty and had betrayed me. Whew! That?s better. I prefer all that stuff be outside my self.

You might wonder how I managed to make this his fault. I decided that if he were a more loving father he would have wanted Toby to have this gift. If he were not so selfish and self centered he would have been ready to sacrifice for his child. After all, wasn?t I prepared to sacrifice? I must be the better parent. When you really look at it, I am the good guy here, and he?s the one who is wrong. My only option is to be sneaky, underhanded and dishonest. He made me do it. It?s all his fault. I have every right to act in my own best interest and every right to blame him for putting me in this position.

Wow! Am I clever, or what? I was able to completely exonerate myself from my bad behavior and at the same time place the blame outside myself. And, putting it outside me was the whole point. I think that if I project it out of me, I have gotten rid of it. It doesn?t actually work, though. It seems to be on him, but it remains in me, (remember the rule of giving; what you give you receive?) where it is now hidden and grows in the dark out of sight. It builds up and gathers other sins to it until I finally think there is no hope for me, leaving me believing I am a sinner, dark and evil, but no longer remembering why this is true.

This was an example of choosing to listen to the little ego voice in me. This voice always directs me against God. It is the part of me that thinks I betrayed God and it is very afraid of God. My ego self wants only to stay in this delusional state where, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, thinks it is safely hidden from God. It plays the same projection game with God, placing the blame for this sorry state of affairs on Him, by reasoning that it must be God?s fault that we are separated; that God is angry with me and wants retribution for all my imagined sins.

I don?t have to listen to the ego?s voice. I have two voices in me, because regardless of the ego version of things, God never left me. He placed His Voice, the Holy Spirit, in me so that I could always find my way back home to Him. I can decide for God. I can choose to listen to the Voice for God. I bring my anger and frustration about the gift to God. I tell Him the whole story; how I want this for Toby, how I know Greg will veto it, how angry I feel about this, how frustrated and trapped. I know there is another way to see this, and I ask the Holy Spirit for His vision.

This is hard to do at first, because I can?t imagine how a different outcome would be better. I have convinced myself that my happiness and the happiness of my son depend on the outcome. So, I start out by telling God what His answer should be, and then wait to have my desires granted. When that brought me no peace, I finally gave up. I was tired of feeling miserable and I wanted peace, so I told the Holy Spirit that I was ready to listen to Him. It was like I had unlocked the flood gates in my mind, and new ways of seeing this came pouring through.

I saw that I had decided in my own mind how Greg would react. I then reacted to my version of circumstances as if they had actually happened. He might, after all, decide with me on this, that Toby should have this gift. I might be robbing him of an opportunity to express his generosity.

I also saw that I had decided that Toby needed this particular gift. I made it such a big deal that I had lost sight of the fact that I didn?t even know for sure he wanted it. I saw that even if he wanted it, if I bought him something I couldn?t afford, I would be teaching him that things are important, more important than people and relationships. I would be teaching him that one more present is all he needs to make him happy.
 
These thoughts are not radical and I don?t know why I didn?t think of them before. I think it must have been that the power of my wanting was a like a clog in the floodgate. It was so firmly set in my mind that I needed this gift that nothing else could get past it. When I finally wanted something else more (that is, my peace of mind), the passage way to other thoughts was opened, and they came flooding in. Suddenly, I could see that projecting my fears onto someone else wasn?t the way to be rid of them. It was much more effective to look at these thoughts in the light and to allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see them.

There are so many opportunities to bring my everyday life to God. Sometimes life seems so complicated.  It seems there are endless choices to make and endless variations to decide from. In truth, there are only two choices; I can choose to listen to my ego, or I can choose to listen to God. I will know which I chose by how that choice makes me feel. If I choose God, I will feel joy and peace. Any other emotions indicate that I have chosen wrongly. Of course, as I become aware of the error, I am always free to choose again.

Dan Joseph, who wrote “Inner Healing”, spoke of love as a free flowing river that runs through all of life. I don?t have to do anything to keep the river flowing. Flowing is what it does. However, there are things I can do to slow down or block the natural flow of love. I can choose against God by choosing against love. I know I have done this when I feel anger or fear or guilt. With each wrong choice, it is as if I placed a boulder in the river and now I am getting only a trickle instead of the strong flow I had before. It doesn?t mean that the river dried up and ceased to exist, but that I blocked its flow and am no longer aware of it. If it stays blocked long enough, I forget that it was ever available to me.

It happens as it did when I projected my unloving feelings onto Greg. I felt guilty about what I was doing, even when I didn?t consciously think about it. While I felt guilty, I didn?t feel loving toward him. I was too busy making him the bad guy to love him. Can you imagine how this might have played out? I have now convinced myself he is a selfish, self centered person who is intent on ruining my Christmas and my son?s Christmas. Do you think I could treat him in a loving way? Could I afford to feel love coming from him?

If I allowed myself to feel his love, I would have to reassess my reasoning around the Christmas gift, and then I might have to acknowledge my guilt and all my carefully constructed projections would be undone. So plop, another rock dropped into the stream, blocking my awareness of the endless flow of God?s love.

So, my job is to undo my blocks to love. If I choose to listen to the Voice for God, I could start doing this. I could see a new possibility and approach Greg with my intentions. Perhaps he would hear my reasoning and decide with me. Or perhaps he would, indeed, recognize that it is an extravagant gift we cannot afford, and veto the idea. But now, without the ego?s voice to muddy the waters, I see his point and recognize there are other gifts that will work as well and be better all the way around. I have removed the boulder from the stream and love flows freely.

I gave Toby a great Christmas gift that year, but no matter how terrific a gift is, it is just a thing, a material object with no real meaning outside what we give it. It has no lasting value of itself.  There was a true Christmas gift, though. It was the one I gave myself, and by extension, my family. This was the gift of love. I chose God when I chose to listen to the Voice for God over the ego’s voice. I chose love. I chose peace. Those are real Christmas gifts.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Accessing Inner Wisdom

ACCESSING INNER WISDOM

My daughter, Sheryl and I were talking about the twelve steps and particularly about step four which calls for a searching and fearless moral inventory. She was explaining to me the purpose of this step and why it is so important that an addict do this. I think it would be a really great idea for everyone to do it, though most people never do anything like it. I have never been in a twelve step program, but I have done similar work and one process in particular made me think of step four, because it calls for fearlessness as I look at my life, and surrender as I give what I find to God for healing, recognizing that I cannot do it without Him.

There are things I have done in my life that I am not proud of. The way I used to handle these things was through denial. What a great tool denial seemed to be. I just pushed the stuff way back into my mind and covered it up with other stuff. Pretty soon, it was like I couldn?t remember it. Oh sure, I would get triggered from time to time and it would pop up. Those sudden unexpected pop-ups could be pretty disconcerting, but with a little effort I could usually get it buried again.

Another useful tool was blame. Actually, I could always find a way to place blame for nearly anything, and as long as that place was outside me, I considered the job a success. If I wasn?t being a very good parent then it was surely because my mom didn?t do a good job modeling that for me. With the way I was raised who could expect me to know how to parent. Or, if I lost my temper during an argument with my partner, it was his fault. His behavior justified my response. I mean, who wouldn?t have lost it when faced with someone who acts like him.

Sometimes, my behavior was so bad that I really couldn?t afford to think about it at all. I just couldn?t look at it. If I accidentally looked, if for some reason looking was unavoidable, I could spend the next few days in a deep depression. Sometimes I could avoid a response by keeping frantically busy. I spent a period of my life so intent on keeping my dark secrets buried that I shopped myself into bankruptcy.

The problem with dark secrets is that they poison you. They poison the personality. The symptoms are extreme whininess, depression, joylessness. They poison your behaviors and cause you to spend too much money, drink too much alcohol, do drugs, practice obsessive behaviors of all sorts. They poison the way you see the world and how you react to it. Your secrets make you feel vulnerable and so you spend your time defending yourself through attack. It requires great vigilance to keep those secrets buried so you become very self absorbed. You start to feel isolated and alone.

Your dark secrets spread their poison to your body. The stress this constant vigilance puts on your body, leaves you vulnerable for all sorts of illnesses. You begin to experience migraines or stomach disorders. If you hold onto grievances long enough you invite in cancer or arthritis.

A few years ago, I began to see another way to do this. I was introduced to the idea that I can forgive all this stuff. It seemed like a pretty farfetched idea. I had been harboring some of these sins for a long time. They had seemed bad at first, now they seemed monstrous. I couldn?t even look at them. How could I forgive them. Well, that was the second part of the good news. I didn?t have to look at them alone and I didn?t have to forgive them. I just had to be willing to accept forgiveness.

I have talked about the forgiveness process before. In fact, I have talked about it more than once. It works in a lot of ways, but this is the first place I ever used it. Let me tell you about how this happened.

When my first two children were still very young, I chickened out of being a parent. I was just terrified of the responsibility. I gave them to their father who I thought would do a much better job without me there to screw it all up. I visited them and they visited me, but I didn?t have to make those day to day decisions and do the work it took to raise them.

Then I spent the rest of my life regretting that decision. I felt such smothering guilt that I could hardly stand myself. I tried everything to run away from myself. I tried drugs, alcohol, many unsuccessful relationships looking for someone who could restore my self worth. I tried over and over to make up for my early error. I tried to be a good parent to them in every way I could think of. I had other children and threw myself into motherhood with a ferocity, thinking that maybe this second chance would afford me salvation. I suffered all of the symptoms of denial that I talked about earlier. Even when I wasn?t thinking about the guilt, it was there in an unconscious way affecting how I felt and how I acted. I was able to gain only temporary peace broken by periods of intense grief.

By the time I had begun studying for the ministry, I had made an uneasy peace with my misery. That was when I was first began to understand true forgiveness. I had been reading about forgiveness in the Bible and in A Course in Miracles, but I just wasn?t opened to truly forgiving. A fellow ministerial student took me through a process called Accessing Inner Wisdom. It is a really simple spiritual process. She helped me to get comfortable and relaxed and guided me into a meditative state.

She helped to provide a safe environment for me to access the Holy Spirit. God placed the Holy Spirit in me so that I would always have His Voice, but I seldom took advantage of that. I didn?t think I could afford to talk to God about my errors. I was afraid to do this, as if He wouldn?t know about them unless I confessed all. It?s a pretty silly way to think, but that seems to be the way I was thinking all the same. Finally though, I was able to trust Him enough to tell Him my secrets. I told Him the whole story, and how I felt about it, and how hard it was to live with my guilt. I brought up all the deep dark secrets, every bad parenting decision I had made that I could think of. Together, we looked at each one.

At first it was so painful looking at all this stuff, saying it out loud, hearing myself enumerate each supposed sin. Then it got easier and even started feeling better. I felt lighter as I unburdened myself. But we didn?t leave it there. My friend took me further through the process as she brought me into the Light where I allowed God to heal me. Before now I had not been able to look at this alone, and when I accidentally glimpsed it I was left only with pain. But when I looked with the Holy Spirit, and when I invited forgiveness and healing through God, it was a miracle.

In the final part of the process, I was directed to ask the Holy Spirit for a personal message, a new focus from an aware perspective. He said to me that I had never made a mistake in my life. He said I was only learning lessons and that I needed to learn those lessons, and now I could pass them on to others as well as to my children. Through this healing I would be able to give them what they need.

This was the most extraordinary miracle. I was able to release a lifetime of shame, fear, and guilt. Being free of that also helped me to be a better parent. I was able to focus more on my children and their needs now that I wasn?t always focused on my guilt and my need to be forgiven.

I use this process all of the time now. I don?t always use the formal approach involving another minister, but I do the same thing by myself. When I feel I need to forgive myself, when I?ve made an error, I invite the Holy Spirit to look at it with me. I tell him all about it just as if I were speaking to you. I?ve learned that it doesn?t matter what I do, it is never so bad that I cannot freely speak of it with the Holy Spirit.

I think of it as bringing my dark thoughts into the light. And what happens when you shine a light into a dark space? The darkness disappears, doesn?t it? The light doesn?t beat it back. There is no battle. The light simply replaces the darkness. That is what happens for me when I look at my errors in the Light of the Holy Spirit. Then I ask the Holy Spirit to heal me. I ask Him to heal my thoughts and to show me another way to see. He always answers, and the change He creates in my thinking is a real miracle. Then I ask for God?s love and comfort.

I use this process in a lot of different circumstances. If I feel sad or angry, guilty or fearful, I bring these feelings to the Holy Spirit and I ask Him to help me sort them out. With His help, I trace these feelings back to the thoughts that caused them, and then to the belief behind the thoughts. Then I ask the Holy Spirit to heal these beliefs and to give me new beliefs, beliefs that will work in my life and bring me joy instead of sadness. There seems to be no circumstance in which this process isn?t helpful.

It took some courage to take that first look into the dark closet of my secret sins, but I am so glad I did it. I am especially glad that I did it with the Holy Spirit and I am so grateful for the miracle of forgiveness. Now I naturally surrender control of my life to God and I don?t know why I ever hesitated to do this.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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