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Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Guiltless Son of God, P 6. 6-9-16

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 6
6 I have said that the crucifixion is the symbol of the ego. When it was confronted with the real guiltlessness of God’s Son it did attempt to kill him, and the reason it gave was that guiltlessness is blasphemous to God. To the ego, the ego is God, and guiltlessness must be interpreted as the final guilt that fully justifies murder. You do not yet understand that any fear you may experience in connection with this course stems ultimately from this interpretation, but if you will consider your reactions to it you will become increasingly convinced that this is so.

Journal
I have a customer who thinks that being religious means fearing God. He feels strongly about this and utterly believes that God wants his fear and so, whether he thinks this out or not, to him, God is a scary dude. When I hear him talk about it I see that this God of his is really the ego definition of God. He has nothing to do with the God of Love I am getting to know.

I am pretty sure if I asked my customer about guilt, he would embrace it with great enthusiasm since it would enhance his belief that God wants his fear. Doubtless he wears his guilt like a badge of honor, as he does his fear. If I were to say to him that I am guiltless he would be appalled at my audacity and would probably worry about my salvation. So I understand what Jesus is saying here. Now I am wondering how this applies to me in my everyday life.

I don’t have those conscious beliefs about God, and to the extent I used to, I have overcome them. But unconscious guilt is still in my mind, just hiding out a bit. I see it when I “wish things were different.” And when I think someone should be or act differently. I see it when I feel regret or shame. I see it when I punish myself through making the body sick. And there it is, the fear of God peeking is peeking out. Let me punish myself before God does.

All resistance to this Course is guilt and fear. I think I don’t have any more resistance and then I come across something I don’t understand. This is very simple stuff and quite understandable by all who want to understand it. When I don’t understand some part of it, I step back and wait for the Holy Spirit to help me accept. He will remove my fear and my guilt if that is my desire. He does it often, so I know this is true. Then understanding dawns fully upon my willing mind.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Guiltless Son of God, P 5. 6-8-16

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 5

5 In the calm light of truth, let us recognize that you believe you have crucified God’s Son. You have not admitted to this “terrible” secret because you would still wish to crucify him if you could find him. Yet the wish has hidden him from you because it is very fearful, and so you are afraid to find him. You have handled this wish to kill yourself by not knowing who you are, and identifying with something else. You have projected guilt blindly and indiscriminately, but you have not uncovered its source. For the ego does want to kill you, and if you identify with it you must believe its goal is yours.

Journal
I have family members who are atheists, and I often think that they have put themselves in a bad place. They don’t know God and so don’t know themselves. This is very frightening even if they don’t understand the cause of the unease. More frightening perhaps, since they are uneasy but don’t know why. But really, are they any different than me? I say I believe in God, but do I know God? And if I don’t know God, I don’t know myself. The only difference perhaps is that I know there is a problem.

As I understand this, Jesus says that we tell ourselves that we don’t know who we are and that we are afraid to know. Instead we claim a different identity, we identify with something else. That something else is the ego, and the ego wants to kill us. We are the Son of God, and so we, in effect, identifying with the ego, believe we want to kill our self. This has caused a great deal of fear and guilt which we project blindly and indiscriminately, never understanding why, really.

So whether I believe in God or am an atheist, I still suffer from an identity crisis. And I also suffer from hidden but intense guilt and fear. Happiness, peace, innocence and freedom are antithesis to me. I may not remember why I am guilty, but I am aware of the guilt. I cannot possibly be worthy of these lofty aspirations. Instead I spend my life in an effort to crucify the Son of God.

That seems pretty harsh, but if I examine my life carefully I see that it must be true. I see evidence of unworthiness. I see a heart black with guilt, and I witness the futile effort to rid myself of the resultant guilt through self-punishment, or through projection. No wonder I deny what Jesus has to say about my innocence and about God’s love for me. Who am I to accept these gifts? Who is this God that gives without condition? I don’t know either God or His Son.

I have been studying and practicing the Course, though. I have been slowly giving up the source of this all pervasive guilt, and even more slowly I have come to believe in a God of Love even if I have not yet completely accepted that this love is for me. Each time I see guilt in the mind, and each time that I deny its reality, I come closer to remembering who I am and accepting God as my Father. Through the denial of guilt in all its forms I am learning to deny the ego rather than God.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Guiltless Son of God, P 4. 6-7-16

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 4

4 Much of the ego’s strange behavior is directly attributable to its definition of guilt. To the ego, the guiltless are guilty. Those who do not attack are its “enemies” because, by not valuing its interpretation of salvation, they are in an excellent position to let it go. They have approached the darkest and deepest cornerstone in the ego’s foundation, and while the ego can withstand your raising all else to question, it guards this one secret with its life, for its existence depends on keeping this secret. So it is this secret that we must look upon, for the ego cannot protect you against truth, and in its presence the ego is dispelled.

Journal
So the ego sees us as guilty of “egocide” when we think we are guiltless. Jeez. Accepting that Jesus is right and guilt is an illusion and doesn’t exist at all, would undo the ego. It seems so simple and obvious that I don’t know what else to write. But I also know that that even as I sit here writing this, I am so annoyed with Microsoft Word and with Windows 10 that I could scream. What else is that except guilt. I find these companies to be guilty. I wish the repairmen on the road would move on down. The noise is distracting. Instead, I wish I was at my house listening to the birds sing to me as I write this. Wishing things were different is just another way of judging and finding guilt.

Guilt shows up in many ways and some of those ways seem valuable to me. I will learn to live with Windows 10 and I will adjust to the noise outside, but it took me years to let go of the grievance against my ex-husband. That seemed hard even though there is no hierarchy of illusions, and so it is no different than the noisy repairmen. It seems harder only because I valued the grievance against my ex more than I value the grievance against the repairmen.

The truth is, we must give up guilt in all its forms if we are to undo the ego. So I do what I can. I notice guilty thoughts and I remember that the peace of God is everything I want. Do I want my ex husband to be guilty, or do I want the peace of God? Do I want the morning to be filled with the songs of birds rather than the noise of street construction? Or do I want the peace of God? If the peace of God is everything I want, then I must decide. As I decide for the peace of God, guilt is undone because there is no guilt in peace. As the guilt is undone, so is the ego.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Guiltless Son of God, P 3. 6-6-16

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 3

3 The darkest of your hidden cornerstones holds your belief in guilt from your awareness. For in that dark and secret place is the realization that you have betrayed God’s Son by condemning him to death. You do not even suspect this murderous but insane idea lies hidden there, for the ego’s destructive urge is so intense that nothing short of the crucifixion of God’s Son can ultimately satisfy it. It does not know who the Son of God is because it is blind. Yet let it perceive guiltlessness anywhere, and it will try to destroy it because it is afraid.

Journal

I had to read this a couple of times and to ask Jesus to help me understand it. I think the ego mind pushes against truth so simple and clear-cut and the mind refuses to understand. We chose the separation experience and in that choice guilt came into existence. All unfolded and with it, pain, suffering and death. So in that sense, we condemned the Son of God to death through our choice for separation.

We believe this happened in reality rather than in dreams and the guilt for what we believe we did is so intense that we keep that belief buried deep within our mind. But guilt and fear and insane beliefs can be hidden from our conscious awareness, but they still do their damage. The belief that we are guilty for condemning the Son of God to death shows up in so many ways throughout our day as forms of vengeance.

We crucify ourselves daily as we suffer sickness, poverty, hate, and so many forms of fear that they cannot all be named. We live lives of quiet desperation until the desperation becomes so intense that it takes a stronger and more destructive form. We push the unnamed guilt away by seeing it on someone else, not realizing that the someone else is part of our self, and so we wind up intensifying the sense of guilt rather than losing it.

But we remain the Son of God, and into this awful scenario A Course in Miracles is given and a memory of innocence and purity is awakened. The ego really hates this and is deeply afraid of it. It will fight every step of the way to keep guiltlessness at bay, pointing out our sins and the hopelessness of the situation. Who has not felt that before?

Who has not tried to practice the lessons and failed? Who has not tried to see with Christ’s Vision and only succeeded in judging instead? The ego says this means we are guilty and that guiltlessness is a foolish dream. But it is not guiltlessness that is the dream, but the ego. We are the Sons of God. We are perfect and holy and guiltless. And though we can dream of death, we are eternal. We are all that in spite of the ego mind we made. Nothing destroys our perfection, and certainly not dreams of guilt.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Guiltless Son of God, P 2. 6-6-16

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 2

2 Yet consider how strange a solution the ego’s arrangement is. You project guilt to get rid of it, but you are actually merely concealing it. You do experience the guilt, but you have no idea why. On the contrary, you associate it with a weird assortment of “ego ideals,” which the ego claims you have failed. Yet you have no idea that you are failing the Son of God by seeing him as guilty. Believing you are no longer you, you do not realize that you are failing yourself.

Journal
What a mess this is! I don’t know who I am. I think I am Myron and all that entails, part of which is a deep seated belief in my unworthiness. Thus there is a lot of guilt in my mind, and when that guilt becomes too apparent I try to get rid of it by projecting it onto someone else. This used to make me feel better for awhile because I thought I was rid of it. What I learned is that the guilt was not gone, just hidden, and I was left with uneasiness that I didn’t understand or know what to do with.

Even now that I understand what is going on, the desire to project guilt is very strong. Part of it is habit, and I suspect that part is desperation and fear. Becoming free of guilt, even though it is not complete freedom, makes the guilt I do feel all the more painful. What I know is that I can let go of guilt. I have done it in many areas of my life, and it is just a matter of desire to release it altogether. My desire grows daily.

In the meantime, I do what I can and what I know works. I notice the belief in guilt and I ask for another way to see. I remind myself that above all else, I want to see differently. I remind myself that I am not alone in my efforts, that my efforts are heavily reinforced. One thing that motivates me very strongly is that that I am not doing this for Myron, though that is how I experience it. I am doing this for the Sonship, and my every effort helps the Family of God awaken to the truth.

As a minister of God, I teach through the words given me, but I teach even more effectively through my healed mind that reflects as my healed life. As guilt falls away in my mind, the ego is being undone and this becomes apparent to those who are ready to see it. There is nothing like demonstration to teach, and that is my function, first to accept the Atonement for myself, and then to be the Atonement in action so that I motivate others to desire it for themselves.

(Hmm. I had never thought of it quite like that before, and as I read what I wrote I wondered if that was true. I sat with it for a moment to allow Spirit to correct me if necessary, but all I felt was a warmth around my heart at the thought of helping my brothers as I help myself. It felt uplifting and joyful, so I am leaving it as I wrote it.)

If someone were to ask me how I handle guilt, I would say that first I learn to recognize it in all its forms, some of which are subtle. If I wish something or someone were different, then I am judging and thus making guilty. If I am sad because of someone or something, I have judged and thus made guilty. There are a lot of ways guilt shows up, fear and worry, for example. Becoming proficient at recognizing these ways helps me to do this work.

The next thing I do is notice if being aware of guilt is making me feel afraid or guilty for being guilty. Then I remind myself that I am just looking, not guilty. Looking is my job, and looking with the Holy Spirit is the means of healing the mind of the belief in guilt. If I become impatient that nothing seems to be happening, or if it is happening too slowly, I remind myself that this is just another way of saying I am guilty. “Let it go. Just let it go, Myron.” It is counterproductive to become guilty about undoing guilt.

My part is to acknowledge guilt, to look at it with the Holy Spirit, to desire freedom from guilt and to give the Holy Spirit permission to heal it in my mind, then to accept that healing. My behavior is just a picture of where I am in the healing process. I don’t try to change the picture, I just go back to the source of the problem, that is, what I am choosing to believe. I change my mind as many times as it takes.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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