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Manual for Teachers, 7. Should Healing Be Repeated? P 5. 8-18-20

5 The real basis for doubt about the outcome of any problem that has been given to God’s Teacher for resolution is always self-doubt. And that necessarily implies that trust has been placed in an illusory self, for only such a self can be doubted. This illusion can take many forms. Perhaps there is a fear of weakness and vulnerability. Perhaps there is a fear of failure and shame associated with a sense of inadequacy. Perhaps there is a guilty embarrassment stemming from false humility. The form of the mistake is not important. What is important is only the recognition of a mistake as a mistake.

6 The mistake is always some form of concern with the self to the exclusion of the patient. It is a failure to recognize him as part of the Self, and thus represents a confusion in identity. Conflict about what you are has entered your mind, and you have become deceived about yourself. And you are deceived about yourself because you have denied the Source of your creation. If you are offering only healing, you cannot doubt. Doubt is the result of conflicting wishes. Be sure of what you want, and doubt becomes impossible.

This is very helpful. Any time I doubt the outcome it is because I am confused about who I am. I have identified with the ego-self and separation is the opposite of healing. When I heal it is the Holy Spirit within me rising to answer the Holy Spirit in the “other.” It is true joining, true union. There is no place for ego in this.

If I return my attention to the ego-self, I have placed a gap between us and healing is no longer possible because union is no longer possible. I fill this gap with thoughts of self; “how do I do this,” “what if I fail,” “what will people think?” It is no longer about healing, about joining. It is now about me in exclusion of the other.

When I offer healing, that is my prayer. When I doubt who I am, I now have conflicting prayers. My prayers are that I will look good, I will be successful, I will not fail. Where is my prayer that my brother and I will join in truth and wholeness and the perfection of creation? How can I expect this outcome when I am confused about who I am?

The solution to this is very simple. Let me recognize the mistake as a mistake. When I was dealing with the situation with my son’s sickness, I see that I made this mistake. I began by praying for his healing, but when I became distracted by the appearance of continuing symptoms, I fell into ego thinking. I was no longer joined in healing with him but became egocentric. It was all about me; it was about my fear of failure, my pain, my sense of helplessness, and my guilt. 

When I finally saw this as the error it was, I surrendered as ego and allowed the Self to fill me instead. As I let go of identifying with ego, all of that self-doubt fell away, too. As Self, there is no room for doubt and no room for “me” as separate from him. As I heal, he heals because there is no separation. 

It occurs to me that this is equally true of all forms of healing, not just physical. I think of a friend with a problem and I pray for her healing. I know she is healed and I have no problem with doubt. I don’t need to see her accept the healing, because I know she is healed and will accept it when she is ready to. 

Another time she has a problem and I pray for the perfect resolution to that problem, but I notice doubt and confusion in my mind. I have the same kind of egocentric thoughts in my mind that Jesus describes; fear of failure, guilty embarrassment. 

I realize that I have the same problem she does, and so I believe in the problem and not the solution. Now it is my mind that needs to be healed. I have forgotten who I am, and am identified with the ego-self. I recognize it is just a mistake, and I ask that my mind be healed. In my acceptance of the healing, it is offered to my friend who will accept it when it is time for her to do so. 

As I consider the contrast in those two instances, I see very clearly what Jesus is telling me in these two passages. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing me this additional clarity.

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