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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-15-12

7-14-12
4. FORGIVENESS - THE FACE OF CHRIST

1 Forgiveness is for God and toward God but not of Him. It is impossible to think of anything He created that could need forgiveness. Forgiveness, then, is an illusion, but because of its purpose, which is the Holy Spirit’s, it has one difference. Unlike all other illusions it leads away from error and not towards it.

It seems that forgiveness, like the miracle is an illusion, but it is an illusion that leads away from illusions. It took me a very long time to understand forgiveness as the Course teaches it. My mind kept going back to forgiveness as I have always understood it. This meant I had to first see that someone or something was wrong, and then try to forgive it. It was an endless cycle of going nowhere. Finally, in frustration, every time I said forgiveness, I reinterpreted it to mean undo.

Finally I see that I had no problem understanding the word or the new definition, I simply didn’t want to accept it. Now that I want forgiveness for myself and for everyone else, I can’t imagine returning to forgiveness to destroy. When I do have that desire to see someone as guilty and me as the benevolent dispenser of forgiveness, I laugh at the idea because it’s so silly. That’s the thing about the ego and all it tries to do, its just silly. It only seems awful when I believe it.

My friend, Barbara, wrote something that helped me tremendously. She said that it is our mind’s job to bring us disturbing thoughts. As soon as I read this, I shifted in my understanding. This is how it works. I notice a thought that my friend promised to be here and didn’t show up and that was just plain rude. Then the story grows as more thoughts appear. I am a busy person, and I made a place for her in my schedule. She may as well have said that I am not very important to her, that she has no respect for me. The ego will continue to add to the story as long as I am interested.

If I believe what my mind tells me I will begin to feel angry at my friend. I will start to doubt my own worth. I will become depressed. I will hate the way I feel, and will decide this, too, is the work of my friend and will resent her for that. I will either have to change my friend, or get rid of her.

I can call her and explain how much she has hurt me and how she should never do that again. As long as she understands her culpability, I will be willing to forgive her and give her another chance. If I don’t think I should be the one to do all the work, or if she doesn’t see reason I am left with the only other option, which is to get rid of her as a friend so she can’t hurt me anymore.

Or I can forgive her. I can recognize that the ego is just, once again, doing its job and bringing me disturbing thoughts. I can return my mind to sanity as I realize that nothing God created could ever need forgiveness. I realize that the only thing that happened is that my friend didn’t show up.  Everything else was just a thought in the mind to which I gave meaning. I can just watch the parade of thoughts as they pass me by. They cannot disturb me unless I engage them. Forgiveness is such a simple and perfect solution.

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