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The Unraveling of Beliefs

I was putting ice in my glass and pouring in water, and I reminded myself that there is no glass, there is no ice, there is no water and no body to hydrate. I have been doing this for a few days now and am forming the habit of reminding myself of the truth frequently. And now I am reminding myself that there is no time or space either. The idea of the world is unraveling in my mind.

I had the thought that I wish I was in New Orleans this morning, waking up at my son’s house to the sounds of a marching jazz band out the window. There seems to be much space between me and this tableau. I can even measure it in miles. I can measure it in time as well, and so I am separated not only in distance but in time. If I left right now, I would get there in time for some festivities, but not in time to experience the moment he shared with me this morning in a text message.

But you know what? I did experience it, because it was never a distance away, and it was never a different time. It was always only in the mind and nowhere else, and there is no time or distance in the mind, only a false thought that was so foreign and upsetting to us that we flung it out and pretended that idea was somewhere else. And we pretended that we live in that somewhere else, and now parts of ourself are separated from us by that imagined belief. And it feels sad and lonely.

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