My Path to Oneness

I dreamed last night ...

As I was half awake, half still asleep I heard myself saying this to a group of ACIM people:
If you know what is the Truth, why do lie to yourself
I immediately recognized that I was talking to myself.
The ego works in such circular ways, and I saw that this is what happened last night in the ACIM group meeting:
I somehow could not comprehend the text paragraph that was read out loud by someone. As I review the scene now, I realize that this blockage came from anger I had experienced because I judged that something I had shared with the group just before this as not being really understood or accepted. The ego came up with attack thoughts of ‘they are not on the same level I am at’, and so I felt angry and separated, standing alone.
I had been working with the very old belief that I held for a long time which said “I want to be appreciated”. It was a strong ego blockage to let any kind of appreciation come to me, even though I am aware that I have received lots of appreciation all my life, and still am. And, that is not to mention the obvious: God always appreciates me, no matter what I do or whether I accept this or not.
I have the feeling of ‘I am awesome, I am amazing, I am powerful and great, a shining bright light’. Yet, this feeling is immediately countered with ‘you are being grandiose, blowing yourself up to be somebody which you really are not’. The ego quickly cuts me down, and so I need to give all that to the HS because by myself I really am a nobody, but with God I am All Things.
So, I want to embrace the Truth about myself even though the ego does not like it. I release the fear that comes with this into His Hands, and so I am free. I am grateful.

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