I come to peace
I come to Love
This is Holy Spirit’s purpose for me
I feel the power of Holy Spirit
I feel the power of Presence
I feel the power of Love
I know that I am Home.
I recently had an Accessing Inner Wisdom Counseling from one of our newly ordained ministers. In the counseling what came up was the fact that I feel unworthy and not beautiful because of being overweight. The new focus that came from the counseling was that Holy Spirit told me to sit every morning and write about beauty. He said that as I do this daily, I will be reminded that when I see the beauty in others, I am really seeing it in myself, as we are One. So on Easter morning I sat and wrote. This is what came to me:
A few months ago we received the guidance that it would be in the best interest of everyone if we would move Pathways of Light to Florida. At first we resisted because we are so comfortable here, but as we let go of our own ideas, we remembered that only God’s plan would ever make us truly happy.
The last few months have been filled with letting go of stuff that no longer serves us and preparing the buildings here to be in good condition for the next organization or family who is guided to live here. Because the residence is 50 years old, there has been much to do here to prepare it for its next residents. So far we are about two-thirds of the way finished with the renovation, including replastering, painting, recarpeting and completely redoing the kitchen and bathrooms.
This is the story of how I wrote the poem, “Gave my Heart.”
One day I saw a panhandler. She reminded me of myself. I had run away from home at 17, and I’d lived on the streets of Chicago with a group of street kinds. We panhandled to get money to eat.
When I was in third grade in 1954 my maternal grandmother died. I missed her very much. She taught me how to plant flowers and we created a very special rock garden in the shape of a triangle and dedicated it to the Holy Trinity, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Grandma Hazel taught me how to bake special cookies and cakes and do craft projects that she donated to neighborhood churches who sold them at bake sales and fairs. She told me that Holy Spirit inspired her to do that and to always let him be my Guide.
For the last two months I have been studying King David in the old Testament of the Bible and learning how the Holy Spirit talked to David and motivated David to be a kind and merciful ruler. I have also turned to A Course in Miracles during this study and found that Holy Spirit wants for us to be kind and merciful to others.
During the past four years I have been motivated by Holy Spirit to bake something once a month for two families that have a spouse that is gravely ill. I found that by doing this small act of kindness that the recipients appreciate not only the cake or cookies but the time my husband and I spend visiting with them when we deliver them.
In the story of the Wizard of Oz every person wanted something that was already inside of them, but did not know it. Dorothy was in a situation where she wanted to go home back to the realm of God in her thinking. She had the way to go back home at all times. All she had to do is click her red shoes together and she was back in the arms of God.
We do the same thing by going everywhere to find our answers instead of going within ourselves where God dwells.
The other day another human being in the throws of ego desperation called me complaining about another human being also in the throws of ego desperation with whom she desperately desired an ego relationship and couldn’t imagine not having what she so desperately desired.
Sure that she had tried everything under the sun to win this man’s understanding, heart, and very soul, she was still not ready to surrender. The torment in her mind was overwhelming. She can’t sleep, she can’t eat, she can’t work, but apparently was finding plenty of time and motivation to toke a few joints and crack open the Jack Daniels. This she said was the only relief she found; the ego in a drunken, dazed stupor was “relief.”
During the Annual Membership Weekend last October, there was a strong sense that Pathways of Light was on the cusp of an exciting new phase in its service to Holy Spirit’s plan of awakening from the dream of separation. There was a strong feeling of pending opening and expansion. Though there were no specifics at that time, a number of people there commented that they felt it.
Each of us has a special function to fulfill in Holy Spirit’s plan of awakening. The job for each of us is to keep our minds and hearts open and have a consistent willingness to follow the guidance of our Inner Teacher, day by day. No more is needed from us and no less.
On a scale from one to ten, change can be experienced at all different levels of fear. If we can remember times of transition in our lives, we can also remember the fearful sensations that accompanied them. The unknown, the unfamiliar and the new seem to threaten our ego personalities and often make us feel such uncertainty, and definitely insecure.
What do you want? What is it that you really want, and are you ready to hear the truth?
The truth is that we don’t really know what we want and until we get clear about recognizing and owning this fact, we’ll never know what we’re really looking for let alone ever hope to find it!
Perhaps superficially we think we need money, a house, car, partner, better relationship or an education for our kids. Or maybe we think we need a special experience. Perhaps we think we need to control or avoid, or get healthier. Could there be an addiction that we want to give up?
Twenty-one years ago my life changed. I met the best friend I’ve ever had, the Holy Spirit in ACIM. When that inspired book came into my life, it felt as if the center of my being had been turned from the inside out. All my old beliefs were shattered and these new ideas felt so true. I new that I had come home. ACIM was my constant companion for one year. I would read it in every break I had at work, when I stopped at a red light, before and after going to bed, in fact, reading and studying ACIM was what I did most of 1986.
After I completed the Spiritual Awakening Group Course 1102 of the Ministerial Course Program, Holy Spirit instructed me to begin this meditation every morning after waking and every evening before bed:
It was all started when I attended a workshop facilitated by Mary Stoelting of Pathways of Light. I have always told myself that I was not good at meditation. However, as soon as Mary started her guided meditation, I immediately went with it and heard a voice in my head say, “Get out of the way because I’m going to show you things that you have never dreamed of.” I placed my name on the mailing list and received my first copy of Miracle News several months later.
I’d been hearing about A Course In Miracles from my cousin for about four to five years now. Whenever I walked into one of those difficult “life lessons” (wonderful opportunities for growth and healing), she would help me explore different approaches or changes in perception that might help ease the tension. I often didn’t like when I heard: “Nothing has a meaning but the meaning you give it,” “There’s no one out there but you and God,” or “This is just coming up for healing.” My least favorite of all was, “Do you want to be right or do you want peace?” I responded that I wanted peace but behaved like I wanted to be right. Besides, wasn’t my being right the path to peace? That’s what I had been trained to believe. Nonetheless, those words resonated somewhere deep inside me.
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