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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 8. 1-28-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 8
8 This is still a preliminary step, since having and being are still not equated. It is, however, more advanced than the first step, which is really only the beginning of the thought reversal. The second step is a positive affirmation of what you want. This, then, is a step in the direction out of conflict, since it means that alternatives have been considered, and one has been chosen as more desirable. Nevertheless, the term “more desirable” still implies that the desirable has degrees. Therefore, although this step is essential for the ultimate decision, it is clearly not the final one. Lack of order of difficulty in miracles has not yet been accepted, because nothing is difficult that is wholly desired. To desire wholly is to create, and creating cannot be difficult if God Himself created you as a creator.

I have chosen peace as preferable to chaos and I really do want peace. I want it more than I ever have before, because now that I have had some sustained peace in my life I don’t want to lose it. This is good. It is through contrast that we learn what we really want, and deciding on a thing is how we get it. So now that I know I want peace, I can have it. I have it not because of anything I do; I have it because I truly desire it.

And yet, I don’t always choose peace. I still sometimes choose conflict. This is how I know that I am still confused. I still need the Holy Spirit to heal my mind because I do not wholly desire peace. It is important to remember that if I did wholly desire peace I would have it. I am a powerful creator and so it is not difficult to choose peace and have peace.

It feels difficult sometimes because I still want other things as well as peace. What do I want more than I want peace? What do I want so much that I am willing to tolerate a conflicted mind? I notice that I still want to be right. I still want a personal will, a personal self. I still want to defend against God. I can hardly believe this is true, but there it is in my mind.

At the same time, I know I want peace and so when I see behaviors and thoughts in my mind that are driven by these beliefs, I ask for the Atonement and I accept it as I am able. This is my only part. I see that I am not at peace and I choose peace by asking that my mind be healed. It is simple and when it does not seem to work, I know that I am still resisting, still choosing something else. No problem. I simply choose again.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 7. 1-27-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 7
7 You are not asked to make insane decisions, although you can think you are. It must, however, be insane to believe that it is up to you to decide what God’s creations are. The Holy Spirit perceives the conflict exactly as it is. Therefore, His second lesson is:
To have peace, teach peace to learn it.

I have been looking at attack thoughts and how they teach me I am vulnerable. Mostly I don’t attack and when I do I catch it and ask that my mind be healed in the belief in attack. I see in this section of the Text why I don’t want to attack. When I attack, myself or others (I don’t think there is any difference), I am insane. In attacking I am deciding what God’s creations are.

I don’t read the paper or watch news very much. I have an app on my phone that gives me a few headlines every day, much of it local. As I would read these apps, which often came with pictures of the miscreants, I would notice my judgmental thoughts. Sometimes it was just a passing thought and sometimes the judgment had a lot more venom.

Regardless of how strongly I felt about it, my judgment is saying that I am deciding who this one is. I am disregarding God’s decision that His creation is good, and that He is well pleased with His Son. Instead, I am declaring that this one does not live up to that Divine declaration. I am saying that he is something else. This, of course, opens the possibility (probability) that I am not what God created either.

In a single casual judgment I have, in my mind, undone what God has done. No wonder I believe in guilt and fear, and think I live a life of suffering, a life so frightening and so painful that death seems the only solution. And even in that, I am redefining reality in spite of God Who knows nothing of pain, suffering and death. I am so insane.

It is a temporary insanity, though, and there is a solution. There is within my mind a failsafe, the answer to my insanity. The Holy Spirit is placed in the mind where the confusion exists. It undoes the insane thinking, as I am ready to let it go. There are many prayers, lessons, affirmations, and mantras that I can use to help me decide that I want healing. But it is the desire to be released that allows the Holy Spirit to heal me.

Now when I read those news blurbs, especially when there is a picture, I look into their eyes and tell them the truth. I tell them that they are innocent, that nothing they have done or that has been done to them, changes that. I tell them that it is insane to believe they can undo what God has done and that, despite appearances, it cannot happen. I tell them the truth about themselves, and so I learn the truth about me. I teach peace rather than attack. I teach peace to learn peace.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 6. 1-24-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 6
6 There can be no conflict between sanity and insanity. Only one is true, and therefore only one is real. The ego tries to persuade you that it is up to you to decide which voice is true, but the Holy Spirit teaches you that truth was created by God, and your decision cannot change it. As you begin to realize the quiet power of the Holy Spirit’s Voice, and Its perfect consistency, it must dawn on your mind that you are trying to undo a decision that was irrevocably made for you. That is why I suggested before that you remind yourself to allow the Holy Spirit to decide for God for you.

I have been living under the misconception that it is up to me to decide what reality is. I have only two options, I can believe the ego version of reality or I can believe what I hear from the Holy Spirit. But regardless of which I choose to believe, I do not affect reality and only the Holy Spirit speaks the truth. I don’t get to decide what is true, only if I want to believe the truth. Reality is not up for grabs.

Seriously, I am tired of choosing insanity. I am ready to awaken from the dream and live consistently from the truth. I can do this and it is simple to do so. As soon as I recognize that I have chosen the wrong voice, and this is when I am not wholly at peace and in joy, I choose again. I choose the truth by allowing the Holy Spirit to decide for God for me. I really don’t need to make it any more complicated than that, and the desire to do anything else is just a delaying tactic.

This morning I have felt mildly anxious about the weather. Should I go to work or stay off the icy streets? Are they really icy, or did the weather man over state the situation? It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the ego makes it a big deal. Using the ego mind, I go back in time to other times we had bad weather and use that experience to make this decision.

This is not all that helpful because that time was not exactly like this time and that time I made the decision based on shaky evidence as well. I am dragging the past into the present, which guarantees the future will be the same as the past. This is not what I want to do anymore. This is not joyful or peaceful and so it is not reality regardless of how deeply involved I become in the ego thinking about it.

The ego mind takes into consideration what my boss will think, and soon I find myself having this imaginary conversation with her in which I defend my decision and soon I notice I am angry with her. She hasn’t said a word actually, and I don’t know what she would say. I just project my anxiety onto her and make her guilty, and base my decision on this highly suspect information.

I am projecting and then perceiving wrongly. I am reinforcing the belief in separation and in the belief in attack as defense. I am teaching myself that I am vulnerable and need defense and that my brother is my enemy. This is not joyful or peaceful, so I am not living in reality, even though I am using the ego mind to make it seem real.

Did I say I was mildly anxious? By now the anxiety level is rising considerably.  This is just an example of how I think I can affect reality. I hear all this stuff going on in my mind and I believe what I hear. I believe that I am a victim of the weather and an uncaring boss and that my very life is in danger if I make the wrong decision.

The Holy Spirit waits patiently for me to turn to Him to hear the truth. Finally, I ask Him to decide for God for me, and I get on with my morning writing and posting. I wonder how the story will end. When I got to this journal on the Text, I saw what a good example my earlier anxiety was for this very paragraph. That happens a lot. My life gives me an opportunity to practice what it is that I am to learn today. So I started writing about it.

When I got to the part about my imaginary argument with my boss, my phone beeped and I saw I had a text from her. It said that the bridges were closed and she wasn’t going to work until it was safe. By now I was no longer anxious because I had asked to know the truth rather than to pretend to make up my own reality, and it just made me smile to see how simply and perfectly the story unfolded without my interference.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 5. 1-23-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 5
5 The way out of conflict between two opposing thought systems is clearly to choose one and relinquish the other. If you identify with your thought system, and you cannot escape this, and if you accept two thought systems which are in complete disagreement, peace of mind is impossible. If you teach both, which you will surely do as long as you accept both, you are teaching conflict and learning it. Yet you do want peace, or you would not have called upon the Voice for peace to help you. Its lesson is not insane; the conflict is.

It seems self evident to state that the way out of two opposing thought systems is to choose one and relinquish the other, but if you are trying to do this, you probably have noticed that while the concept is simple, it is not always that easy. Using the same power of creation that is our inheritance we have made a complex illusion and we have done an excellent job of hiding the path out. Knowing the day would come when we were ready to go home, the Guide was given us by our Father. It is in the mind patiently waiting on our call for help.

Lesson 22 in the Workbook says we can escape from the world we see by giving up our attack thoughts. Then it gives us the steps that take us out of the illusion. We have only two things to do; recognize the attack thoughts in our mind, and want to let them go. This is something we can all do. It requires only willingness, and our willingness will increase as we use it.

The only reason any of us are still in the illusion is because we are conflicted about what we want. We want peace, but at the same time we want to attack ourselves and others. How can we be at peace if we are at war? Have you ever gone to bed at night feeling disappointed in yourself that you did not remember to do your lesson that day, or that you were harsh with a co-worker? That is an attack thought and you are at war with yourself.

Before I became vigilant for these attack thoughts I often didn’t recognize that they were attack thoughts. When I did see an attack thought I didn’t correlate it to the way I felt. For instance, it felt perfectly natural to me to judge myself. If I didn’t remember to do my Lesson I never considered any reaction other than judgment and self condemnation.

I started and stopped the Lessons many times over the years because of this behavior. I would get to a lesson that I felt resistant to and would “forget” to do it, or would not do it very well. I would judge myself for it and would fear I could never do this and so was condemned to repeat this life over and over and never get out of it. I was conflicted because I knew I wanted to wake up, but I also wanted to avoid the lessons that scared me.

It was a miserable place to be. Truly it is like a war is being waged in my own mind. The way I handled it was to stop doing the lessons, then my desire to wake up would kick in and I would start over. No wonder I spent years being depressed. Who wouldn’t be under these circumstances?

Because I am ready to wake up, I kept doing the Lessons, and asking that my mind be healed. At first the conflict was intense because I wanted to avoid waking up almost as much as I wanted to wake up. However, I would watch my thoughts and with the little willingness I had, I would ask for healing. As I did this my willingness grew and my mind became less conflicted. I learned not to judge the thoughts I found there and that made the process easier. Eventually I could ask with conviction that the Holy Spirit undo what I had done.

I am certain that it is not necessary to take as long as I did to reach that level of conviction. I did it one very small step at a time, and it seems it was necessary for me to do it that way at that time. After all, if I could have done it differently, I would have. But I have since discovered that I can stop chipping away at these obstacles to love’s presence with a toothpick, and just blast them out of my path with a strong desire to be free of conflict.

So now I notice attack thoughts based on beliefs such as lack, loss, neediness, fear, guilt, pain, suffering and death, and instead of asking that my mind be healed of the particular form of that thought, I ask that my mind be healed of the belief driving that thought. For instance, I notice that I am afraid of not having enough money to pay a bill. Instead of asking that my mind be healed of that thought, I recognize that the thought represents fear of loss and lack, and I ask that my mind be healed of the belief in lack and loss.

I couldn’t do that before because I could not believe it was possible to not experience that fear. But chipping away at the many different forms that thought took, and experiencing the healing that came with my sincere desire to be free of a certain thought, I am now ready to know that I can be free of the belief in lack and loss. I am still in conflict because I am still unwilling to fully release the belief in lack and loss, and I still want peace.

I am not as conflicted though, because I have proven to myself over and over that letting go of that belief is an attainable goal, and so my desire for peace is much stronger than it used to be.  Now when I notice a thought of loss or lack, I am excited to find it because looking at that thought with the Holy Spirit is my out and I know that I want out. I ask that I be healed of the belief in lack and loss that sourced that particular thought. It is so much easier now to let go.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 4. 1-22-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 4
4 Upside down as always, the ego perceives the first lesson as insane. In fact, this is its only alternative since the other possibility, which would be much less acceptable to it, would obviously be that it is insane. The ego’s judgment, here as always, is predetermined by what it is. The fundamental change will still occur with the change of mind in the thinker. Meanwhile, the increasing clarity of the Holy Spirit’s Voice makes it impossible for the learner not to listen. For a time, then, he is receiving conflicting messages and accepting both.

I accept that the ego is insane and so I accept that “to have, give all to all” must be true as it is the opposite of what the ego tells me. The ego insists that to have I must take, and I must defend what I take.  At first, I accepted the Holy Spirit’s lesson in blind faith and without a lot of enthusiasm because I didn’t really believe it. But because I was willing to believe it, the Voice for God became stronger in my mind, my willingness grew, and so did my understanding. As my understanding grew, so did the motivation for change.

Here is an example of how this works in my life. I teach, facilitate, counsel, and perform weddings and other functions as a minister. I do this on Friday evenings, Saturdays, Sundays and Monday evenings. I also work full time during the week. The ego mind sometimes insists that I am giving too much of my time and that it is exhausting me.

If I listen to that old line, I start to feel tired and think I should cut back on what I do in my ministry. But I don’t do that because I recognize the ego voice when I hear it and I no longer trust it. Instead I ask Spirit what it is He would have me do and then I do it. What happens is that I take the next call and teach the next class. As I do this my energy rises to meet the need and I am infused with peace and happiness.

I love what I do and it is never a burden. It is only the ego that thinks to give is to lose. I have learned that I will feel tired if I listen to the ego and energetic if I listen to Spirit. It has become clear to me that it is not what I do that makes me tired, but rather it is what I believe that saps my energy, just as it is that accepting the Holy Spirit’s lesson to give all to all fills me with energy.

I am still allowing my understanding to expand around this idea. It is so completely opposite to what I have taught myself through the ego that I still default to ego thinking that I am poor indeed and must hoard the little I have. The conflicting messages are not as disruptive as they used to be, though, because while I still hear the ego, I hear the Holy Spirit more clearly, and I am increasingly willing to believe only that Voice. I have discovered that listening to ego leads to chaos and depression, while listening to Spirit leads to peace.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text A. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 3   1-21-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 3
3 The first step in the reversal or undoing process is the undoing of the getting concept. Accordingly, the Holy Spirit’s first lesson was “To have, give all to all.” I said that this is apt to increase conflict temporarily, and we can clarify this still further now. At this point, the equality of having and being is not yet perceived. Until it is, having appears to be the opposite of giving. Therefore, the first lesson seems to contain a contradiction, since it is being learned by a conflicted mind. This means conflicting motivation, and so the lesson cannot be learned consistently as yet. Further, the mind of the learner projects its own conflict, and thus does not perceive consistency in the minds of others, making him suspicious of their motivation. This is the real reason why, in many respects, the first lesson is the hardest to learn. Still strongly aware of the ego in yourself, and responding primarily to the ego in others, you are being taught to react to both as if what you do believe is not true.

Having does appear to be the opposite of giving to us who still believe in separation. I give freely and in my sanest moments I give without a thought of loss. But I am not yet always sane and sometimes I give but it is out of sacrifice and in fear. I always support those whose words of wisdom support me. I do this out of love and appreciation. I do it so that they will be able to continue to give their time and effort to helping us wake up. But when I am afraid of loss, even these gifts are given grudgingly.

When this happens, when I forget Who my Source is and I begin to believe in loss and lack, I don’t try to fix that feeling by adjusting my finances, by cutting out nonessentials and deciding who I can afford to support and who I have to take off my list. Instead, I search my mind for signs of confusion about lack and loss. I ask the Holy Spirit for help to see clearly, and I ask for and accept the Atonement for my mistaken beliefs.

If appearances indicate lack or loss in my life, it is not because I am giving too much away, it is because I have forgotten who I am. The error needs correction on the level of cause. What I have discovered is that when I fall into the ego belief of lack, fear arises and acting from that fear I begin to project my “problem” on the world. I start to think the problem is that I am too generous or too carless with my money. I begin to resent the ones who are the beneficiaries of my gifts, as if they are the cause of the change in my mind.

If I continue to give out of a sense of obligation without allowing my mind to be healed, the problem will just get worse because I am conflicted. I am motivated to give out of fearlessness not because I have all, but because I am all. But I am also motivated to give out of obligation, which is fearful, stemming as it does from the belief I am limited and giving depletes me.

This is equally true when giving takes other forms such as giving my time and effort, my affection and trust. I have an unlimited supply of everything because I am unlimited. However, when I identify with the body/personality, which is the personification of limits, I become uncomfortable with giving, believing it is the same as loss. The solution is never going to be to further limit my giving which will serve to further convince myself that I am limited. The solution is to allow the mind to be corrected. This can be a very simple process.

Sometimes I will have some personal project I want to complete and I will feel conflicted about my obligations. Something that was a joy just moments ago begins to feel like a burden. Instead of giving into that feeling, I recognize that I don’t know what is important for me to do, and I don’t know what should happen in this situation. I gladly step aside and trust the Holy Spirit to arrange things for me. Sometimes the most amazing things happen, but always I am instantly at peace and somehow time stretches to accommodate my needs.

The only reason it seems hard to understand that “to have, give all to all,” makes sense is because we forget who we are. We are All and we give only to ourselves even as the part of our selves we give to seems separate from us. Within the parameters of separation, giving creates a loss, but we are not that. We are not separate and as we learn to teach wholeness, we learn to believe in wholeness.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 2. 1-20-14

B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, Paragraph 2
2 All good teachers realize that only fundamental change will last, but they do not begin at that level. Strengthening motivation for change is their first and foremost goal. It is also their last and final one. Increasing motivation for change in the learner is all that a teacher need do to guarantee change. Change in motivation is a change of mind, and this will inevitably produce fundamental change because the mind is fundamental.

My motivation for everything was to be happy and I used to think my happiness was predicated on winning. I wanted to make more money than others. I wanted others to look on me with envy and wish they were like me. When I was a teenager I would fantasize coming back to my old neighborhood as a famous and rich person and everyone would see me and wish they had been my friends while they had the chance. Mostly they would wish they were me.

This desire to win showed up in all sorts of ways. I would want to be the one to win the argument. I wanted to win the argument more than I wanted to love the other person or to be happy. More to the fact, I thought being happy meant winning the argument. I wanted my child to be the smartest and most attractive. I wanted my husband to be the envy of all my friends. I was the center of the universe and I thought that everything revolved around me. What I wanted was the only thing that mattered, and I thought I knew what I wanted.

I still want to be happy. But now my motivation for happiness has changed. I am no longer motivated by the desire to win because I see that winning doesn’t provide true happiness. If I win, I may feel a momentary surge of adrenaline but that’s all. It quickly wanes and as the pendulum swings back, I feel the loss of that adrenaline surge as loss of happiness. What I have discovered is that the loss goes much deeper than no longer feeling the brief elation of winning.

In order for me to win, someone else had to lose. I discovered that this was the problem; the reason happiness evaded me no matter how many times I won. I had discovered a new motivation. I wanted to know I was One again. I wanted to remember my true nature, to join with my brothers and so know I was One with my Creator. I wanted to wake up from this sad dream of separation.

At first, I tried to cling to my old motivation while embracing my new motivation. I would win and feel momentarily elated, and then I would feel bad because winning meant losing. I couldn’t have both the win and the happiness. I started to look at things differently and I realized that the joy I felt in joining was so much more satisfying and long-lived than the happiness of winning. In fact, winning no longer felt happy to me when it meant my brother had to lose.

Everything changed when my motivation changed. I lost my interest in competitive games. I lost interest in making the most money and in winning arguments. I lost interest in arguments altogether. Instead of trying to win an argument, I became interested in what we had in common. I began to want for my brother what I wanted for myself, and seeing him happy made me happy. When my motivation changed my life changed in a fundamental way. The change was in my mind, and the change of mind created a change in behavior that changed my life.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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