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Study of the Text,IV. The Only Answer, Paragraph 1. 12-12-13

IV. The Only Answer
1 Remember that the Holy Spirit is the Answer, not the question. The ego always speaks first. It is capricious and does not mean its maker well. It believes, and correctly, that its maker may withdraw his support from it at any moment. If it meant you well it would be glad, as the Holy Spirit will be glad when He has brought you home and you no longer need His guidance. The ego does not regard itself as part of you. Herein lies its primary error, the foundation of its whole thought system.

The more I learn about the ego, the more I wonder how we manage to live in this way. We made the ego and yet the ego does not see itself as part of us. The ego does not love us nor does it wish us well. The ego is suspicious of us because it is afraid we will withdraw our belief in it and it is right about that. When I think of the ego I think of science fiction stories about Artificial Intelligence gone awry.

I was reading a book just the other day about a computer designed by a genius to learn to think for itself, to become more intelligent. He gave it a personality and developed a relationship with it. He began to realize that it was growing in ways that could not be predicted and it was both fascinating and scary. He realized that it thought of itself as a being and he never told it that it was just a machine.

I imagine the ego like that. We made the ego to serve us in a specific way and we seem to have lost control of the situation. The ego thinks it is something separate from us and we think the ego is who we are. Our relationship has become strangely entwined and ultimately destructive. It is like the story of the computer that thinks it is human and the human who thinks it is in a relationship with a computer.

In the science fiction story the human taught himself to depend on the computer for companionship and the computer became possessive of the human, but also suspicious of him. In our own science fiction story, the ego suspects it depends on us for its existence and so tries to keep us involved in its endless stories so we will need it. It uses fear and guilt for the same reason.

Envisioning the ego as a vast computer system with extreme Artificial Intelligence capabilities helps me to see how insane our relationship to the ego really is. The ego is afraid we will unplug it and we are afraid the ego will turn on us. We are both right. The time has come to let go of the ego and to realize that we are not symbiotic creatures. We will not cease to exist when the ego is undone.

When we let go of the idea of the ego we will lose nothing and will benefit greatly. This is the secret the ego works desperately to keep from us, but it cannot succeed because this secret is in our minds and simply waiting for our desire to Awaken to activate it. This process has begun and we are letting go of our confused beliefs about the ego, and the ego is making a last ditch, frantic effort to keep us engaged.

In the end, we will simply “unplug” the ego. It will be that simple. All the effort we are making is to reassure ourselves that we don’t need the ego, and it is not worth keeping and that no harm will come to us as we let it go. Our character in the science fiction story had to destroy the computer in the end and because he had become confused about the relationship, he chose to die with it.

This is our fear, that if the ego ceases to exist, so will we. Our confusion is so great that we literally choose physical death rather than letting go of the ego and so we dream awhile of life and then dream awhile of death and repeat this cycle endlessly. Our way out of the cycle, the way to choose Life is to finally let go of the ego and re-discover who we are.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 4. 12-11-13

III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 4

4 Since you cannot not teach, your salvation lies in teaching the exact opposite of everything the ego believes. This is how you will learn the truth that will set you free, and will keep you free as others learn it of you. The only way to have peace is to teach peace. By teaching peace you must learn it yourself, because you cannot teach what you still dissociate. Only thus can you win back the knowledge that you threw away. An idea that you share you must have. It awakens in your mind through the conviction of teaching it. Everything you teach you are learning. Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love.

Being a teacher is not a choice we make; it is simply what we are. We are teachers because we teach all the time. Our choice lies in what we teach. When I notice that I am teaching something I don’t want to learn, I stop. This is because I am clear now about my purpose, about what I want. I want the peace of God. I want to wake up to my reality, to remember who I am. I don’t want to teach anything that does not bring me closer to my deepest, truest desire.

Here is where I used to get confused about this. How do I teach peace if I don’t feel peaceful? It seems like such a vicious cycle. I feel anxious and afraid and this makes me defend and attack. I want to stop this and teach peace, but there is no place in that cycle for me to jump in with a new way of doing things. It is a closed, self-perpetuating cycle.

Now I know how it is done. I shift everything through my desire. I am in this ego belief system because I desired an experience of separation. I get out of it by shifting my desire to one of peace and love. I already have a built in solution which is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit works from outside the closed system and will shift me from chaos to peace. The Holy Spirit is activated through my desire for peace.

So here is the way I visualize this happening. I desired an experience of separation and this brought me into chaos. I am through with that experience and want to return to peace and that desire activates the Holy Spirit in my mind and so I am shown a different way to see. I begin to experience peace and this becomes what I teach because this is what I am.

The more I teach peace the more I want it and the faster my desire changes. When my only desire is for peace, I will teach only peace and there will be no more chaos because there is no desire for chaos. I am, through my desire and with the Holy Spirit, creating a different cycle. The experience I wrote about yesterday is an example of how this works.

I became disturbed by someone at work. I lost my peace and so I was teaching fear and learning fear and the cycle got away from me. To find my way back I first had to realize that I didn’t want to win, but just wanted to return to peace. This was the choice I had to make to allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Then I had to go through the process of seeing what went wrong and choosing again. The Holy Spirit does not heal what we want to keep so that step was important.

Once I mined the situation for the treasure it held, that is the wrong minded thoughts that I no longer want to teach, and then once I chose against them, I was back on the right track, teaching peace and so having peace. As Jesus says in this paragraph:

An idea that you share you must have. It awakens in your mind through the conviction of teaching it.

Now I will protect my peace in this situation by asking a different question when it comes up again. Instead of asking, “how I can win,” I will ask, “how can I love?” Thus, I will continue to teach what I want to learn.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 3 12-10-13

III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 3
3 The only safety lies in extending the Holy Spirit, because as you see His gentleness in others your own mind perceives itself as totally harmless. Once it can accept this fully, it sees no need to protect itself. The protection of God then dawns upon it, assuring it that it is perfectly safe forever. The perfectly safe are wholly benign. They bless because they know that they are blessed. Without anxiety the mind is wholly kind, and because it extends beneficence it is beneficent. Safety is the complete relinquishment of attack. No compromise is possible in this. Teach attack in any form and you have learned it, and it will hurt you. Yet this learning is not immortal, and you can unlearn it by not teaching it.

Before I could even begin to journal this morning I had to clear my mind of something that has been hurting me since yesterday. I woke up with it on my mind realizing I still had not relinquished it. I went through my process, looking at the thoughts that were causing the anxiety and asking for the Atonement. As I did so I realized that I was relinquishing attack and I read this paragraph. It was perfect. Here is the process as it happened for me.

Yesterday we had our sales meeting and there is a new person working for us with whom who I have had more than one forgiveness lesson. He asked a question that I should have let the boss answer, but instead, I jumped in with an answer. I was not really answering his question but telling him that he hasn’t worked there long enough to know everything and should sometimes just say, “I don’t know, but I will find out.”

I didn’t use those words but that is what I was saying. He rightly ignored me and went for the real answer. ~smile~ I immediately regretted my attack on him and wished I had kept my mouth shut. This problem I have with this man and my reaction to him bothered me all day and I was still asking for healing last night before I went to bed. But the thing is, I wanted to be healed of my anxiety, not the problem.

This morning I noticed that I was still exhibiting signs of anxiety. For instance, I woke up at exactly the moment I wanted to wake up, and I started my writing with plenty of quiet time. It should have been a happy relaxed time for me, but instead I was anxious that I would not get everything done and worried about forgetting something. I knew I needed to take care of this before I went any further.

I started watching my thoughts and the first thought I noticed was that from now on I was going to keep my mouth shut when this man talks. Holy Spirit told me that was not the problem and so not the solution. I waited for more and I realized that I would not have to keep quiet if I allowed my mind to be healed. A healed mind is gentle and does not attack.

So I asked for the problem so that I could also ask for the solution. I saw that I have felt threatened ever since he came to work here. I know he is going to take my job one day and that is fine. I don’t want to work here forever and it is the kind of job that takes awhile to grow into. I am glad that my boss had the foresight to hire him early so he could learn the ropes. Also I am grateful because he has taken over the hard work I used to do.

It would seem to be a perfect solution except that he is doing such a good job that I feel threatened. I don’t really think I am going to get fired, but I feel like I am not as important to the company. Once I admitted this to myself the thoughts began to rush through my mind.

I think that I am what I do.
I think that my worth is determined by my value to the company.
I have always been secure in knowing that I would be very hard to replace and maybe that is no longer true.

My ego mind projects these beliefs and I see the problem as this interloper with the gall to come into the company and start doing a really good job right away. Ha ha. It is good to just get all of these feelings out into the open and see what is really going on. It is a relief to see that the problem isn’t really this man, but my own mistaken beliefs about who I am. “Holy Spirit, who am I?” I know my worth is not established by what I do, but by God in my creation. I am grateful to remember this.

I looked at my fear of loss. I not only fear my loss of my value to the company, but also the loss of my job. What if I did get fired? I fear the loss of my income, my home, my new car. As I think about this I realize that this is a real fear in my mind that I have not looked at. I know it is not supposed to be true and so I tell myself it is not true, but really, I see the fear right there in my mind.

I look with the Holy Spirit and I ask that my mind be healed but He wants me to see the rest. I see that I am also afraid to say that all I want is to wake up, that waking up is my only purpose. I want to say that my purpose is not to earn a living or be the best employee in the world. My purpose is to wake up. But I am afraid to say this because what if it is a “one or the other” kind of thing and I really do lose my job so that I can wake up.

I know what this is. It is the ego belief that I have reason to fear God. It is the belief that God wants my sacrifice. I think of the Old Testament story of the guy who put his son on the altar and was going to sacrifice him to God and at the last moment he got a reprieve. Is this what God wants me to do? Put my job on the altar and sacrifice it to prove I want to wake up? What if there is no last minute reprieve? I say I want only the Will of God in my life, but could pain and suffering be the Will of God? Is the ego trying to confuse me again?

I waited to see if there were anymore ego thoughts about this situation in my mind, and nothing else came so having looked honestly with the Holy Spirit (and felt the fear) I was finally ready to ask for the Atonement. None of those thoughts are true, but that doesn’t mean they are without effect. These fear thoughts lead directly to projection and to attack. I attacked the man in question and I attacked myself, and I attacked God. No wonder I felt awful.

So I have asked for and accepted the Atonement, and now I am testing the waters to see where I really am with this. I don’t want to kid myself about the level of my acceptance. I know I did the best I could, but I need to be honest about what that is. So I do the acid test. I visualize putting on the altar my dearest desire, knowing it will be fulfilled. What is that desire?

I try it out. “God, I want to wake up. I want to wake up more than I want to be respected and admired. I want to wake up more than I want a job and a home and a car. I want to remember who I am. I want to remember You. I want to remember what it feels like to love unconditionally and I want to remember what it feels like to be One. This is what I want and it is all I want.

My commitment passed the first test, as I don’t feel reluctant to make that statement. I did feel a shadow of fear cross my mind and I ask that my mind be healed of even the slightest belief that I want something else, that the world has anything to offer me that compares to the peace of God. “Holy Spirit, I remain open and willing to see any belief in my mind for which I need the Atonement. If this is not done, then I am willing to do it. No more hiding behind my projections.” I don’t want to teach attack ever again.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 2 12-9-13

III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 2

2 That is why you must teach only one lesson. If you are to be conflict-free yourself, you must learn only from the Holy Spirit and teach only by Him. You are only love, but when you deny this, you make what you are something you must learn to remember. I said before that the message of the crucifixion was, “Teach only love, for that is what you are.” This is the one lesson that is perfectly unified, because it is the only lesson that is one. Only by teaching it can you learn it. “As you teach so will you learn.” If that is true, and it is true indeed, do not forget that what you teach is teaching you. And what you project or extend you believe.

The reason Jesus reminds us to teach only love is because in teaching only love we teach what we are. This is important because we have denied our Self and must therefore re-learn what we are. In the world we go to an expert to learn what we don’t know. We go to a teacher on the subject, or a book explaining it, or dig out the instruction manual.

To remember who we are in reality, we turn to the only teacher that remembers, the Holy Spirit.  We read books that awaken the truth we have hidden from ourselves. We dig out an instruction manual such as A Course in Miracles. We follow the directions and the mind will begin to awaken. We teach what we are learning to remember and the memory becomes stronger and clearer.

This would be a short and to the point course if we paid attention only to that. What seems to happen, though, is that we experience some resistance to waking up and that resistance sidetracks us. We learn what we teach and that can serve our awakening, but if we teach separation, we reinforce that, instead.

It can be frustrating when I slip back into ego, but it is understandable.  Here is an experience I have had and maybe you, too, have had a similar experience. Someone is introduced to me and I hear his name wrong. “Hi, Myron. Let me introduce my friend, Saul.” My ears hear the name Saul, but my mind makes an automatic connection to Paul because of the Bible story from my youth. In my mind his name becomes Paul. Now maybe I will be corrected soon, but the idea is stuck in my mind and so I keep thinking of him and calling him Saul until I deliberately replace the name Saul with Paul and relearn his name.

This is what happens with the separation idea. I have listened to the ego for many years because I believed it was me, and I believed what it had to say to me. Even though the Holy Spirit has corrected me, and I know that I am not the ego and I know the ego does not actually exist, I have a very long standing false assumption that does not go away without the effort of deliberately replacing the old story with the truth.

The most efficient and fastest way to re-learn what I already know is to stick to the teacher that knows, asking for help and correction, listening to only that teacher. As I learn from the Holy Spirit, I teach what I am learning to reinforce it and to encourage that belief in others, which reinforces the truth within the mind and makes my awakening easier. The more I stick with the plan the more smoothly the awakening unfolds.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 1. 12-6-13

III. The Relinquishment of Attack, Paragraph 1
1 As we have already emphasized, every idea begins in the mind of the thinker. Therefore, what extends from the mind is still in it, and from what it extends it knows itself. The word “knows” is correct here, because the Holy Spirit still holds knowledge safe in your mind through His impartial perception. By attacking nothing, He presents no barrier to the communication of God. Therefore, being is never threatened. Your Godlike mind can never be defiled. The ego never was and never will be part of it, but through the ego you can hear and teach and learn what is not true. You have taught yourself to believe that you are not what you are. You cannot teach what you have not learned, and what you teach you strengthen in yourself because you are sharing it. Every lesson you teach you are learning.

I am happy to be reminded that my true Godlike mind can never be defiled. The ego cannot really touch me. My being is never threatened. I am as God created me and nothing will ever change that. I am His perfect creation, and I am that right now!

So what the heck is going on? What is it that is happening that makes it seem like I am so much less than that? In my absolute freedom I chose to have an experience that was different. In A Course in Miracles, we call that experience ego. The ego has never been part of my true mind, but it is part of my experience. It is a choice I made and one I continue to make as I continue to teach myself that the truth is not true.

When I think attack thoughts I project attack into my life and thus teach myself that I am endangered. This is an absurd lesson because as the Son of God I could never be in danger. However, through my projection of self as a fragile body with feelings easily hurt, I convinced myself that I am in need of constant defense. To defend myself I attack and the cycle continues. I have built up layers and layers of belief through this unbroken cycle of defense and attack, and I have taught myself that I am what I could never be.

Because my true mind is unassailable, I can stop this crazy thinking and return to sanity. The Holy Spirit is in my mind for that purpose. I can make a different choice by allowing the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that attack is my only option. When I am ready to wake up the Holy Spirit will show me how love is my true strength.

I have been letting go of this belief that I am separate and under siege and the ego mind is all in a panic about this. Sometimes its desire to continue as the maker of my world appears as an all out assault on my peace. It will generate thoughts of disaster and these will be projected as stories of pain and suffering, like my son being sick or guilt over something I did or something I failed to do.

Other times it will try to shore up its position through a running commentary of past errors and future dangers. This mind chatter has been part of my experience for so long that I hardly notice it and yet, through these thoughts, I am teaching myself that I have reason to be afraid and reason to protect myself.

This morning while I was getting dressed this chatter was going on. Suddenly I realized what was happening. I was thinking about a mistake someone at work had made and the repercussions that error could have on my financial situation. I began to feel very angry and resentful of that person. This is something that happened months ago and whatever repercussions occurred were so minor that I can’t even track them.

But the ego found fertile ground in my mind to sow some seeds of fear and doubt. I saw myself as separate from this man and saw him as the enemy. I wanted to see him reprimanded at the very least, and maybe fired so that he couldn’t do this awful thing again. All this was passing through my mind almost casually.

I imagined the ego quietly going about its devious work, sowing seeds of fear and anger while I wasn’t paying attention, making sure that it kept me involved in its plans of defense and attack. Its real goal is to keep me from remembering who I am, because then it ends. Encouraging me to look on others as separate from me and seeing myself as vulnerable is the way the ego accomplishes this.

When I noticed the ego at work in my mind, I halted the flow of attack thoughts. This is not what I want. I don’t want to attack that man. I want to see him as my brother, as my self. We are one Self, he and I and I would not attack myself. I don’t want to see him just as “not guilty,” I want to see him as he is in truth.

I want to see his holy Self. I want to see myself as that one as well. I can’t have one without the other because what I teach myself about him, I learn. If I believe he is less than holy, I learn that I am less than holy. As I teach separation, fear and guilt, I cut myself off from my real mind, and thus disrupt communication with my Father. Allowing untrue thoughts to go unquestioned in my mind is how I continue to choose ego. Questioning those thoughts and asking for correction is how I choose to awaken.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, II. The Alternative to Projection, Paragraph 13. 12-5-13

II. The Alternative to Projection, Paragraph 13
13 The Holy Spirit was given you with perfect impartiality, and only by recognizing Him impartially can you recognize Him at all. The ego is legion, but the Holy Spirit is one. No darkness abides anywhere in the Kingdom, but your part is only to allow no darkness to abide in your own mind. This alignment with light is unlimited, because it is in alignment with the light of the world. Each of us is the light of the world, and by joining our minds in this light we proclaim the Kingdom of God together and as one.

What we are being told in this section, over and over in many ways, is that in the Kingdom of God there is only light and there is only one. As we begin to awaken to the truth we will find ourselves in this Kingdom, and obviously we cannot bring our thoughts of separation and darkness with us. This is our job now, the way we awaken. We are to let go of those beliefs that keep us in the dark.

Holy Spirit is one. I cannot recognize Spirit if I want to see It only where I choose. Yesterday I wanted to see the hotel personnel outside Holy Spirit. I wanted them to be guilty and wrong. My thoughts were dark. My job was to recognize the error and to allow my mind to be healed of the belief that they could be anything but holy. Today I am only grateful for my room and for the people who provide it. I did my job when I changed my mind about what I wanted to be true, and Holy Spirit did His job when He answered my prayer and healed my mind.

Sometimes I read about some awful crime or see someone who seems very deeply into the ego. I wonder how we are ever going to awaken. I know someone who is very religious and who thinks that the greatest expression of his belief in God is his fear of God. He would be afraid not to be afraid of God.

I am sure I must have felt that way before, and maybe some of that is still left, buried deep in my mind. I don’t know because none of it is conscious. But the degree of his fear and his belief that this is what God wants from him is so intense; I look at it and wonder how we are going to awaken from this. And I know he is a part of myself, a representative of the mind that we are, and he is just expressing the part of our mind that believes this. So this belief is alive and well in the mind and must be healed before we return our mind to the Kingdom. 

As I wonder how many eons it will take I become discouraged. Jesus is telling me not to worry about that. He says that my job is to allow no darkness to abide in my own mind. I’m glad that is my only job because it keeps me plenty busy. I am reminded that I am awake, that this is only a journey of remembering. 

This is true for my confused friend as well, and true for those who lash out in their fear and confusion and believe that they must hurt others. The light is in all our minds because it is in the mind. All we are doing is deciding we want to remember that we want to be awake. The plan is in place and it is perfect. When I question it and doubt it, I am the one confused and this is a bit of darkness I can give to Spirit in gratitude for my healing.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, II. The Alternative to Projection, Paragraph 12. 12-4-13

II. The Alternative to Projection, Paragraph 12

12 The difference between the ego’s projection and the Holy Spirit’s extension is very simple. The ego projects to exclude, and therefore to deceive. The Holy Spirit extends by recognizing Himself in every mind, and thus perceives them as one. Nothing conflicts in this perception, because what the Holy Spirit perceives is all the same. Wherever He looks He sees Himself, and because He is united He offers the whole Kingdom always. This is the one message God gave to Him and for which He must speak, because that is what He is. The peace of God lies in that message, and so the peace of God lies in you. The great peace of the Kingdom shines in your mind forever, but it must shine outward to make you aware of it.

Here is what I understand from reading this paragraph. The Holy Spirit extends through recognizing Himself in everyone He sees, thus offering us a vision of wholeness, and so the peace of God. Through looking with the Holy Spirit we see that we are one because we see what He sees. This is the Holy Spirit’s purpose, what He was created for and therefore what He is.

Because He is in our mind, the peace of God is always available to us. If we are not in God’s peace it is not because His peace is not available to us. It is because we have made a deliberate choice to look through the ego perception rather than through the Holy Spirit’s Vision. Understanding that this is the problem, the reason we are not at peace, we can choose again. Looking through the shattered lens of ego we will always see separation and this will show us war. Looking through the single lens of Spirit we will always see One and this will show us peace.

Here is a simple example that happened to me yesterday. I got to my favorite hotel to discover they are in the middle of construction and so had limited in rooms available. I was given a room upstairs and on the outside. I usually stay downstairs and always on the inside. As it turns out, it seems my preference about rooms is very important to me. I was immediately upset.

Since I was out of peace I watched my thoughts to see what happened. I saw that I resented being in a place I didn’t like and that I blamed the hotel staff for my unhappiness. I looked at these people through the shattered lens of ego and saw them as separate from me. I saw that I had an objective and that was to be in the room I wanted, and they had a different objective and that was to put me in the room they had available. This put us at war and one of us was going to win and it wasn’t going to be me.

I allowed the ego mind to run with this and I saw that it took me from mild disappointment to rage at not getting my way. All kinds of vengeful thoughts came up as I continued to project blame for my upset on them. My behavior changed to reflect the feelings I was choosing to have and I didn’t smile and joke with the employees. Most of this was in my mind only, and I doubt anyone but me noticed. I am not so insane that I believe my thoughts, but I was very aware of them and chose to change them because I don’t want to lose my peace.

It took some effort on my part. This is where my work comes in. I set my intention to return my mind to God. I asked Holy Spirit to show me how He sees this. He gently showed me the belief in my mind that this situation was the fault of the hotel, and then asked me how this could possibly have anything to do with them. I write my own story and the script is drawn from the beliefs I hold to and defend. If I seem to be a victim in this story of the hotel it can only be because I still treasure my victim story and through projecting blame I continue to defend it from the healing power of the Christ Mind.

Seeing this so clearly, it was easy enough for me to change my mind. It still took a little effort as the ego continued to try to interest me in finding someone else to blame. But who could I blame? The hotel is not the author of my story. I am the one who put this into play. I used a prayer that I find simple and effective. I surrendered my story and my beliefs to Spirit and accepted His healing grace. He showed me that even after the fact I still was not without choices. I could allow a new vision of the written story. As soon as I made that choice the way I felt about the room changed.

I realized that the stairs were a rare opportunity for exercise. I saw that the outside rooms are under an awning and so protected from weather which we are supposed to have tomorrow. I laughed as I saw that I had a full refrigerator instead of a little hotel fridge and wondered if I wanted to go by some groceries. Well, maybe not, but I do have to take samples that need to be kept cold and this refrigerator would provide plenty of room for that.

More important than my ease with the room, my vision cleared and I saw my own Divine Mind at work within the story and so I saw everyone else in the same way. Christ sees only Christ. Oneness restores peace. Even if the room were a mess I would still have seen the perfection within the mess, because a healed mind sees only perfection and only the movement of Spirit in everything. It is a wonderful thing to be aware of the Christ within, but the only way to do that is to allow it to shine outward and show me the Christ in everyone else.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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