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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: I.The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph3. 7-4-14

I. The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph 3
3 Every response to the ego is a call to war, and war does deprive you of peace. Yet in this war there is no opponent. This is the reinterpretation of reality that you must make to secure peace, and the only one you need ever make. Those whom you perceive as opponents are part of your peace, which you are giving up by attacking them. How can you have what you give up? You share to have, but you do not give it up yourself. When you give up peace, you are excluding yourself from it. This is a condition so alien to the Kingdom that you cannot understand the state that prevails within it.

As I read this, I thought of my last marriage. Toward the end, I spent a lot of my time responding to ego thoughts in my mind and so it was more a war than a joining. It’s kind of funny when I think of it, but I divorced him because I wanted peace. It is kind of a metaphor for ego. The ego says if we want to be happy we must separate ourselves from God and from each other.

God on the other hand is Wholeness. If we want to be happy we choose peace over war. We choose sharing rather than attacking. When I was married, I listened to the ego tell me that I needed to defend myself against my husband’s selfish behavior, that he was the cause of my unhappiness. And yet, peace is the condition of the Kingdom and in choosing to separate myself in order to gain peace, I was asking that the Kingdom be something it is not. I was asking that it be separation rather than Wholeness. It was a ridiculous request.

I’m not saying that I am guilty for choosing divorce or even that I wish I had chosen differently. I am just noticing that I was looking for peace where I could not find it. After the divorce I spent several years learning how to have the peace I did not achieve through divorce. I had to forgive myself and him, and that took awhile because I often hid from myself my true feelings and so they couldn’t be healed.

Eventually, I did look at it all and allow it to be healed. The final piece came when it was completely healed and I spontaneously apologized for my part without any sense of loss or any need to defend myself. I apologized without expectation or need for a response from him. I doubt he ever saw his part in it, but that is none of my business and does not affect me.

I am completely at peace with that relationship. That means I don’t think he is responsible for how I feel. I don’t blame him for anything he did or any effect his actions had on anyone. I freed him from my grievances and so I freed myself. Now I understand that the reason forgiving him freed us both is that we are each a part of the other’s peace. We are one and if we continued to separate through anger and blame, we would both suffer.

Was this hard to do? I had many compelling reasons to hold a grievance against him. And it took a long time to work my way to this point that I realized there was nothing to forgive. In spite of this, I know it was not hard. All I had to do was let it go, knowing that I wanted peace more than I wanted the grievance.

That it took so long, and that I felt like it was hard was testament to my desire to be right rather than happy. But, no, it wasn’t hard to do. It required only that I choose peace and that I recognize that my peace is dependent on my desire to hear the Voice of God Which speaks for Wholeness. I only need to answer that call, with the certainty that nothing else is more important.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: I.The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph 2. 7-3-14

I. The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph 2

2 The distractions of the ego may seem to interfere with your learning, but the ego bas no power to distract you unless you give it the power to do so. The ego’s voice is an hallucination. You cannot expect it to say “I am not real.” Yet you are not asked to dispel your hallucinations alone. You are merely asked to evaluate them in terms of their results to you. If you do not want them on the basis of loss of peace, they will be removed from your mind for you.

For awhile now I have been experiencing major shifts in my understanding. My connection with Spirit has grown stronger and stronger. I am more peaceful, and happier. Frustrating periods of confusion, and sometimes, unnecessary suffering has preceded many of those shifts, as I looked at the false beliefs in my mind. But I am happy to do it, and it passes much more quickly now because my willingness is stronger than my resistance.

My part in this process is my willingness, my sincere desire to awaken. I do not dispel my illusions alone. The Holy Spirit undoes them for me as that becomes my desire. It happens slowly, a small step at a time when my willingness is weak. As it strengthens, the transformation is quick. There is a big difference for me now. I used to believe the ego had power over me. I used to doubt and become fearful when I seemed to temporarily fail.

Now I know that I made the ego; the ego did not make me. Therefore, the ego is powerless before me, and if it seems to rule me, it is only because I desire to keep it in place. I am no longer trying to lie to myself about this because I no longer feel guilty about it. Foolish, maybe, and frustrated with myself sometimes, but not guilty.

Recently while reading a past entry in my journal, I was reminded of this passage from The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament. It says:

“The choice you make will seem to be made many times in complete sincerity and truth of heart. And then you will seem to slip and forget the choice you have made. Do not let this distress you. Simply make the choice again.”

That really helped me to let go of the concerns I had about my seeming failures. In fact, reading this and accepting it was a turning point for me.

Evidently, I am also learning to evaluate everything on the basis of loss of peace. I notice that I am very sensitive now to loss of peace, and when it happens, I immediately look at my thoughts to see what precipitated the loss. When I see the thought I evaluate it. What is its value to me? Do I want this belief more than I want peace of mind?

Sometimes I become temporarily confused and think I need to make the thought go away, or somehow fix my ego with my ego. But as Jesus says: The ego’s voice is an hallucination. You cannot expect it to say “I am not real.” Eventually, I always come to my senses and allow Holy Spirit to do His job and my mind is corrected and my peace is restored.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 8: I.The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph 1. 7-2-14

Chapter 8: THE JOURNEY BACK

I. The Direction of the Curriculum, Paragraph 1

1 Knowledge is not the motivation for learning this course. Peace is. This is the prerequisite for knowledge only because those who are in conflict are not peaceful, and peace is the condition of knowledge because it is the condition of the Kingdom. Knowledge can be restored only when you meet its conditions. This is not a bargain made by God, Who makes no bargains. It is merely the result of your misuse of His laws on behalf of an imaginary will that is not His. Knowledge is His Will. If you are opposing His Will, how can you have knowledge? I have told you what knowledge offers you, but perhaps you do not yet regard this as wholly desirable. If you did you would not be so ready to throw it away when the ego asks for your allegiance.

First, I appreciate that Jesus is pointing out to us that knowledge is not the motivation for learning this course. I was confused about that at first. I thought it was all about learning new stuff. It was only much later that I realized that peace was my goal. I am learning this course because I want peace. Before I could understand this, I had to learn to value peace.

Now I understand that peace is the condition of the Kingdom. As the Course tells us, if we want the Kingdom we must give up conflict for all time. There is no compromise in this. Since peace is the condition of the Kingdom, we cannot bring conflict into the Kingdom. Therefore if conflict is in the mind, we cannot be in the Kingdom. It makes perfect sense when I think of it like this.

Knowledge is the Will of God, and if I seem to be opposing His Will, that is if I am entertaining conflict in my mind, then I cannot have knowledge. In the ego world, we learn knowledge. This is not really knowledge, this learning we do. It is merely the gathering of assorted perceptions that we call knowledge. In reality, knowledge is not something learned; it is something revealed when I remove the block that keeps it from me. Lack of peace, which comes from conflict, is the block that must be removed.

I have learned a lot about the value of peace, and I have learned that I want the Kingdom. But I have not realized that it is all that I want. I know that I have not made this total commitment yet, because I still sometimes toss it away in favor of the ego’s meager offerings. I think the peace of God is all I want and then the ego thought that more money, weighing less, getting my way, being appreciated, etc, etc, etc, would be really nice. And off I go in search of a better illusion.

But here is the thing. I don’t really believe that anymore. The ego still attracts my attention, and sometimes I get distracted, but I never lose sight of my only purpose. The peace of God may not yet be all I want, but it is all I want to want, and I never forget it. Thank you, God for that!

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 7. 7-1-14

XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 7

7 You cannot deny part of truth. You do not know your creations because you do not know their creator. You do not know yourself because you do not know yours. Your creations cannot establish your reality, any more than you can establish God’s. But you can know both. Being is known by sharing. Because God shared His Being with you, you can know Him. But you must also know all He created, to know what they have shared. Without your Father you will not know your fatherhood. The Kingdom of God includes all His Sons and their children, who are as like the Sons as they are like the Father. Know, then, the Sons of God, and you will know all creation.

This is the clearest Jesus has been about our creations. God created us through sharing His Being with us. We created our children through sharing Our Being with them. I don’t even know what to say about that. To accept this, I must fully accept my Divinity. I am not a smaller child-like version of God. I am like God.

This is done. I am created and the nature of my creation is certain and cannot change. My creations share that certainty and changelessness. But I don’t remember this. I have blocked it from my mind with thoughts of separation. To remember any of it, I must remember it all. I must remember God, and my brothers as my brothers, all of them, leaving none out, seeing none as unworthy. I must remember my children. It is a complete package or it remains lost to me.

The way I remember is through sharing. I was created through the sharing of God, and I created through the sharing of My Self, so this is how I will regain my memory. The only thing stopping this is that I am still trying to pick and choose parts of the Sonship to accept and with whom to share. I cannot quite bring myself to accept this one person at work. I find a young woman I know to be unworthy of my acceptance. I doubt this one who calls himself a teacher.

Until I am willing to know each and every brother as part of the Sonship, perfect and holy and free of the stain of sin, I will not know my Self. Until then, I deny myself unbroken communion with my Creator and my creations. I am not here by accident. I chose it and I choose it again and again all through the day each time I refuse to acknowledge even a single person as part of my Whole Self.

I will probably not spend the day in perfect sharing of my self with other aspects of my self. I will probably condemn one person or another for some little error they make. I may use some precious brother as a scapegoat for the unwanted dark bits of myself, and projecting them onto that one I separate out for that purpose, pretend he is the guilty one, not me. But if I do, I pray that I remember the horrible cost of doing so, and change my mind. I pray that the Holy Spirit will correct my perception and heal my mind.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 6. 6-30-14

XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 6
6 Out of your natural environment you may well ask, “What is truth?” since truth is the environment by which and for which you were created. You do not know yourself, because you do not know your Creator. You do not know your creations because you do not know your brothers, who created them with you. I have already said that only the whole Sonship is worthy to be co-creator with God, because only the whole Sonship can create like Him. Whenever you heal a brother by recognizing his worth, you are acknowledging his power to create and yours. He cannot have lost what you recognize, and you must have the glory you see in him. He is a co-creator with God with you. Deny his creative power, and you are denying yours and that of God Who created you.

God created me to be a co-creator with Him. The me I speak of here is the true Self which is one with all aspects of Itself. Speaking more clearly, the “me” spoke of here is the Sonship as a whole. We remember ourselves as co-creator as we remember our Oneness. Because this is true, it is just as important that my brother wake up as it is that I wake up. We must know ourselves as whole again.

I wake up my brother by recognizing the truth of who he is. I recognize his worth as an aspect of the Sonship. I do this without regard to appearances. I disregard them because they are not real. The mirrors in a fun house at the carnival might fascinate me, but I am not going to weep because one shows me a distorted vision of myself. Neither will I be misled because the world shows me a distorted vision of my brother.

If my brother is temporarily duped by the fun house mirror effect, I can enlighten him by being clear sighted and not being fooled by the effect myself. I will then acknowledge only his real self. At some point he will notice that I see something he does not see and his mind will open to another vision. This process may be a verbal one, but not necessarily.

My continued faith and trust in him may well be all that is needed to awaken the truth in his mind and help him cultivate his own trust, no matter how weakened it might be. As I help him to recognize his own glory, I am convinced of mine. What a perfect and elegant plan the Atonement is.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7, XI. The State of Grace, P 5

XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 5

5 When a mind has only light, it knows only light. Its own radiance shines all around it, and extends out into the darkness of other minds, transforming them into majesty. The Majesty of God is there, for you to recognize and appreciate and know. Recognizing the Majesty of God as your brother is to accept your own inheritance. God gives only equally. If you recognize His gift in anyone, you have acknowledged what He has given you. Nothing is so easy to recognize as truth. This is the recognition that is immediate, clear and natural. You have trained yourself not to recognize it, and this has been very difficult for you.

Oh my gosh! I want this so much! I want my mind to return to its natural state of light. I want it to be only light. I want to shine that light into every other mind and to transform them. I understand that to know my own light, I must be willing to acknowledge that light in everyone else. Since God gives equally, I will see in another what I believe is in me. And what I see in another will witness to what is in me. I want this!

I understand that to have this, to have the light and be the light and see only the light everywhere I look, I must be willing to relinquish everything that is not light. Yesterday I saw myself choose darkness more than once. And it was over such petty stuff! What was I thinking? On the other hand, I noticed when I did it. I asked that my perceptions be corrected.

Holy Spirit, I am willing to see the effects of the darkness I still hold onto so that I can finally realize that I don’t want it. I am willing to see those effects and to give them over to you. I really do want to awaken from this dark dream and return to light. I understand that to be in the light and to be the light requires total commitment. I am dedicated to this purpose. I am devoted to this practice. I am ready.

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Study of the Text, Chapter 7, XI. The State of Grace, P 4

XI. The State of Grace, Paragraph 4
4 I call upon you to remember that I have chosen you to teach the Kingdom to the Kingdom. There are no exceptions to this lesson, because the lack of exceptions is the lesson. Every Son who returns to the Kingdom with this lesson in his heart has healed the Sonship and given thanks to God. Everyone who learns this lesson has become the perfect teacher, because he has learned it of the Holy Spirit.

As I read this I felt my heart swell and tears come to my eyes. I (and you) have been chosen to teach the Kingdom to the Kingdom. We didn’t wind up here by accident. We didn’t just happen to study the Course. Life is not random. We are not purposeless. Somehow this is very important to me and I am deeply touched by it. The ego is lying when it says that I am both arrogant and wrong when I think I am a teacher of God.

What I think is key is the next sentence. “There are no exceptions to this lesson, because the lack of exception is the lesson.” This is the truth for all of us. This is our sole purpose right now. We are to give over to the Holy Spirit all the darkness in our mind. As this is done, we will light the world with truth and bring everyone to the Kingdom. We may be given words to say and things to do, but the healing of our own mind is the true lesson we share with all our brothers, along with the recognition that they too are holy. All of us. No exceptions.

It is a glorious profession! And beautiful to think of and to contemplate. At first, however, it seems like the actual process of allowing the light to shine is difficult and tedious, and not a little daunting. But as more and more darkness is removed from the mind, even the day to day work of watching the mind and choosing to release the ego beliefs becomes a real delight. Not even the temporary lapses into ego can dim the joy of this work.

I know what it is that swells my heart as I read this paragraph. It is gratitude.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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