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Gentle Healing Journal Day 4

Journal for Day 4
Lesson 4

These thoughts do not mean anything. They are like the things I see…

After doing the lesson this morning, I thought about the purpose of the lesson. The reason this lesson is so important is that we generally think of our thoughts as not only meaningful and deserving of our attention and sometimes action. We also think we are our thoughts, that they define us and make us different than others who don’t have our thoughts. They are our secret, something we share with special people, if at all.

We are learning that the thoughts in our mind are none of that. They are not special at all and don’t even belong to us. They are just thoughts within the consciousness that we want to have as our own. They are not us and not secrets, though we all agree to pretend they are. It is important to know that these thoughts, good or bad are meaningless though that does not mean they are powerless. Far from it.

These thoughts are not in us and they do not define us. I can be without thought and nothing happens to me, as we have seen from contemplating the daily thought. I think and I exist. I don’t think and I exist. Clearly, I am, and thoughts just come and go. If I continue to believe that thoughts are part of me and important to me I will not be willing to question them and certainly will not be willing to release them.

July 31, 2018, Daily Quote

Expansion is the realization of truth over illusion. It is the putting aside of limits, which never existed. It is seeing beyond false identity into the unknown and ungraspable, which is you. You are not to be controlled or limited, not even by you. You are to be discovered, and discovery happens through allowing the mystery.

~ Thoughts of Awakening

How exciting this thought that I am discovering myself! This is so much more fun than the thought that I am something broken that must be fixed. I wish I had this perspective much earlier in this lifetime. Maybe that is why we keep coming back to the stories, thinking that this time we will unearth more and do it more quickly and have more fun doing it.

I suppose, though, that those years of seeking blindly were an essential part in the process. Experiencing the limits I had placed on myself was the motivation to probe the mystery. When I think of my life in these terms, I see how everything was absolutely perfect. Instead of seeing it as a series of mistakes for which I am guilty, I see it as an adventure into self-discovery.

I have spent a long time looking at false beliefs and their effects and recognizing all that I am not. Now I embark on a different phase of the journey in which I determine what is me. I may need to be reminded of this from time to time. These stories are compelling in their drama and beauty. I don’t want to lose sight of my purpose in this experience of mine.

Tips from Regina Dawn Akers

The brain is reprogrammed as attention’s misidentification with thought is healed. There are some things we can do to assist in the reprogramming of the brain.

An open-heart increases efficacy. Examples of an open heart are:

Have a positive spiritual aspiration or purpose. For example, one may want to see with the eyes of God or know Love as the only reality. Note: If your goal has a negative focus such as, “I want to stop suffering,” consider a positive focus that feels genuine and authentic for you. For example, you may want freedom, happiness or lightness. A positive goal is much more effective than a negative goal because attention is focused on the ideas stated in your goal. It is much better to have attention focused on the idea of freedom or lightness than it is to have attention focused on the idea of suffering.

Maintain a sense of well-being. One way to maintain a sense of well-being when the crap is coming up is to remember that the thought-stream or emotion is coming into awareness because you want to heal. Remembering that healing is what you want is extremely helpful.

Trust that healing is occurring.

Repetition & practice with new programming. Examples of new programming include resting the mind, remembering the daily lesson, thinking about your spiritual aspiration, etc.
For example, imagine yourself resting the mind, imagine yourself remembering to do the workbook lessons, imagine yourself wanting awakening/truth more than anything else, etc. The brain cannot tell the difference between something real and something imagined. Research shows that anytime you are thinking (including imagining) you are engaged in conditioning neural pathways.

Meditation is concentrated rest away from mental activity. Therefore, it gives clear awareness ample time to heal the mind.

Observe/watch old programming without feeding it. Be aware of it, but don’t believe it and don’t fight against it. As you observe old programming in action, watch with a sense of curiosity. Become familiar with your triggers. For example, you might watch old programming to discover what it feels like in your body just before an old neural pathway begins to fire. (e.g., What happens in me just before I scream at my daughter?)

Discover how you can stay motivated to stick with gentle healing because you want to. Healing is an authentic journey for you when you are aware that you are on this journey because you want to be here.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 3

Journal for Day 3
Lesson 3
I don’t understand anything I see.
I’m happy to say that I find this idea very freeing. As I realized when I read all three lessons together, I don’t understand anything I see because they are meaningless and I gave them all the meaning they have for me. And I know I did this with my ego thinking mind. It might seem to be very depressing to think that all of this is meaningless, but now I can ask what it is for and that is a much more profitable question. This is the question that leads to freedom.

July 30, 2018, Daily Quote
Within you, there is a place where I am and you are and there is no difference between us. This is a state of oneness, where the two are joined, and they are the same one. There is no loss in this state of awareness. There is only more. This is why I have asked you to inquire deep and broad. Within depth, there is expansion.
~ From the Inner Guide, Thoughts of Awakening

This could be Jesus and me, or you and I, or the clerk at Market Basket and I, or it can be the self and the Self – i and I. It is all joined as one. When we are aware of our oneness there is no loss, just expansion. What an important truth that is! I know that I used to think that being one meant that I was somehow diminished as if I would miss this body and this personality that I borrowed for the present incarnation. I seem to long for union now. I gladly release the idea of this temporary self to know myself as One with All.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 2

Journal for Day 2
Lesson 2
I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me.

I followed the directions and looked at various things around me saying that I have given this thing and that all the meaning it has for me. I noticed that my mind often found the meaning I had given it. For instance, I looked at a knickknack and knew that I gave it the meaning of being a symbol of love because my brother gave it to me. It is also a symbol of loss because he never does stuff like that anymore.

I look at my router and felt both grateful for it and uneasy about it because I have had so much trouble with these things. I know that if my daughter looked at her router, she would have a different meaning attached to it. I know this because she likes her router and thinks it is the best one on the market and is proud of herself for finding it. I, on the other hand, question why I seem to be singled out for trouble with routers, and thus question my own worth. How strange this line of reasoning. But all of that ran through my mind as I glanced at this piece of electronics.

And so it goes for nearly everything I looked at. Clearly, I give meaning to all things I see, which implies that they have no meaning otherwise.

Contemplation of Daily Quote

Rest the mind frequently today, as often as you remember, and notice as you take a moment to do nothing and to think nothing that you exist. Just notice this. Notice that nothing needs to be done for this one magnificent fact to be true. Nothing needs to be thought to realize this truth. The fact of existence already is. It is now. It is true. It is complete. And take a moment to thank your Father for the gift of existence.
~ Thoughts of Awakening

Wow! This is worth contemplating. It is worth remembering. I felt a powerful sense of gratitude as I realized that I don’t have to do or think anything to exist. I was immediately aware that I spend a lot of time justifying my existence in thought, word, and deed. Clearly, I don’t need to do that. Thank you, God for my existence.

NTI Luke 12

Luke 12 is about being aware of our thoughts and doing so without guilt. I am very comfortable with this part so there was not anything that was new for me. However, there were some helpful reminders. One of those was this:
“To be on the path, and aware of the path and thinking of the path is enough.”

Relax, Myron. You’re doing fine.

Another one that is helpful is this:
“The only two experiences that you will know as we travel this path together are the experience of your willingness and the experience of resistance.” Also, “When you are not happy, it is because you are resisting accepting truth. To be happy again, all you need do is return your heart to your willingness.”

Again, this is very simple and it does not invite guilt or judgment.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 1

Journal for Day 1
Lessons
After reading the first three and doing the lesson as described for lesson 1, I was surprised when my eyes landed on a statue. I said that this statue does not mean anything and noticed that I felt like it did mean something. I thought that it meant the giver of the statue loves me. She went to a lot of trouble to do this for me. Then as I looked at Lesson 2, I realized that it has meaning because I gave it meaning. And reading Lesson 3, I realized that the reason I don’t understand anything I see is that it is meaningless and I have obscured that fact by giving it meaning. I noticed that I wanted to rush through Lesson 1 thinking I didn’t particularly need it, but clearly, I do.

July 28, 2018 Daily Quote
The Heart that is beyond words is not beyond you. It is only thought that would tell you so. It is only thought that can deceive. Put aside thought, if only for a moment, and then ask, “Am I, when thought isn’t?” Surely you will notice that you are not dependent on thought. Then ask, “Am I, when thought is?” Surely you will notice that whatever you are, it is present both with and without thought.
~ Thoughts of Awakening

I am grateful to know that I am not thought. For the brief moments when thought is not present in my mind, I still exist. Even when thought is a constant chatter in my mind, I exist. So it must be that thought is separate from me. I am relieved to know this because if I were thought, I would not be stable. I would be one thing now and another thing later. I would be bad when the thoughts were bad. I would have to strain to keep only good thoughts in my mind. I’ve tried to do that and it doesn’t work.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Lesson 211 7-29-18

I really love this one.

Lesson 211

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.

(191) I am the holy Son of God Himself.

In silence and in true humility I seek God’s glory, to behold
it in the Son whom He created as my Self.

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.

Journal

I think of being free from the body, of being as God created me, and I cannot think what this could mean. What would I look like? Of course, that is not a real question because ‘looking like’ implies eyes to see and eyes are part of the body and the body doesn’t exist. There seems to be a tendency to assume I will leave the flesh and blood idea behind and discover a different kind of body. My imagination fails me as I try to envision myself as not a body of any sort.

I try to think of myself as an idea in the Mind of God, and that is unsettling. I suppose I think that I could stop being thought of. But Jesus says that ideas leave not their source. I’m not sure why this whole thing about what I am has arisen in my mind. Maybe it is because I have been listening to Carol Howe and she refers to us as an activity or a process, and that brought up some disturbing feelings for me.

Or maybe I am looking at this right now because I seem to know that I am not the body, and the ego mind cannot grasp this and doesn’t want to. This morning, it failed to distract me and so is falling back on its usual guilt and fear tactics. As I realize that this is what has happened, the idea of ‘not form’ is not longer disquieting. It is interesting, and I feel a thrill of anticipation at the thought. I am willing to know what I am.

Past Entry

I am, with us all, the holy Son of God. I and all of us together, the family of God, we are the one Son who was created as an extension of God, who has never changed. I remember who I am as I release all that I am not. I remember who I am as I release all that everyone else is not. It is true for all, this knowing, or it is not true at all.

We are not guilty, not vulnerable, not afraid. There is no jealousy, no confusion, no sickness, no suffering, and no death. There is no one who is separate from me. These beliefs in guilt, vulnerability, fear, death, are what I must relinquish if I am to know my Self because they are not part of me. I am so accustomed to believing what I see with my eyes and what I feel with my bodily senses, that it seems insane to deny these things, but that is exactly what I must do.

Vulnerability is the very opposite of my reality, as is guilt and fear. I am immortal, so what could death mean to me? I have all knowledge and complete certainty so how could I be confused? All of these things are experiences that I (we) chose. In our power as the Son of God, our choice unfolded in all its impossibilities and we have been in the midst of this choice for eons of time, and for no time.

This is what I must accept if I am to end this dream of separation. As I accept it more fully, the business of releasing all that is false gets a little easier. Today, I look at my mind and I see acceptance and I look at my life and I see witnesses to this acceptance. I see how much happier and more fulfilled I am in my life.

I see people, all sorts of people, expressing love and kindness toward me. I see guilt and fear falling away, that is, certain forms of guilt and fear in my life that are no longer there. I used to see the fear that my retirement would be financially difficult, that I would suffer lack. That all went away and has not returned. I see those thoughts sometimes, but don’t believe them so they have no effect.

On the other hand, I see thoughts in my mind that need to be corrected. I see the worry that arises around my children. Most recently, I have gained weight again (sigh) and I wonder if I will ever let that go. I have a little war going on in my mind. I want to lose weight, and evidently, I do not. And I want to quit using my body as a battle ground between opposing desires.

It seems like such a shallow thing, and the ego argues that I should not even care. But Jesus says that a broken body shows that the mind is not healed, and this is, in my mind, a broken body. This business of believing I am helpless before this problem, in believing that I am victim to a body that has a mind of its own, or even that I am victim to my own false ego desires, is ridiculous and yet persistent.

What I see is that weight gain is for me symbolic of all resistance to accepting the mantle of Divinity, and that is my purpose now. It is no more and no less important than any other symbol of resistance. I want to know myself as my Father’s Son and yet I am evidently still afraid to accept my place in Him. As in all things, I choose to release this to the Holy Spirit. I ask that He heal my mind. I long to remember my Self and to remember my God.

Excerpts from the past

I am the holy Son of God Himself. Knowing this to be true is the whole point of everything I do in my life; every day of being vigilant for my thoughts and in being willing to look with the Holy Spirit, even though it is sometimes frightening to do so; the reason I study the Course and read related books and do the lessons. I am moving ever closer to knowing this truth, that I am the Son of God Himself. There is little point in doing any of this unless I am willing to know this truth.

And so I also practice every day sitting with the idea that I am as I was created, the Holy Son of God. I just try it on and play with the idea. I think about being a creator and what that means. Yes, I have become willing to accept total responsibility for every thing that happens in my life, but I have been unwilling to admit that this is a form of creation. It has been creation gone amuck, but the same power that creates also miscreates. It could not happen if I were not the Son of God.

The Course points out that while I have not created anything that is real, it is not without power. I have made illusions but my belief in the illusions is very strong, and the dream state they have left me in is very real to me. I will not wake from this state by denying my power and denying my Sonship. Even in my dreams, I am the Son of God Himself. I am determined to awaken to the full knowledge of what that means.

Me: Holy Spirit, my deepest desire is to remember what it means to be the Son of God. Please help me to see differently, to know that I am asleep and not to mistake this slumber for life. I am also willing to learn with joy. I think you have been showing me this is possible, but I cannot seem to hold onto that. I find myself to be in tears often.

Holy Spirit: Precious child, holy Son of God, your deepest desire is also the desire of your Father. You cannot but have what is the will of both. If it seems not to be true it is only because that is not your only desire, but do not despair. It will become your only desire. Every day that you spend with Me is strengthening your resolve and loosening your hold on every other desire.

Indeed, it is not necessary that this be sad, or hard. We spent an entire day laughing and that was very joyful was it not? It is an ego notion that hard work is painful work. This work can be joyful and will be joyful when you decide that guilt will no longer drive your actions. Guilt is a decision you made and has nothing to do with God. I invite you to release this iron grip you have on the need to precede every healing with guilty thoughts and subsequent pain. If you will open your hand, I will take this from you. We could spend every day in gentle laughter.

Me: Holy Spirit, I am willing. But even as I say this, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I don’t feel especially sad about it. It is as if there is a disconnect somewhere. I don’t really understand this.

Holy Spirit: As more things come up for healing, you will have emotional releases like this. Sometimes you may feel pain with it or grief, but those will be caused not from releasing ego thoughts but by resistance to releasing them. Either way, you are doing your work. Thank you.

Me: And I thank You for being always with me. Thank you for your clear and ever present Voice.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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My Rules for Decision Plan for the Day

Today, I will make no decisions with the ego mind.

One of the Pathways of Light courses that I am doing with mind healing partners is centered around the Obstacles to Peace section of the Course. I forgot just how important this section is. I just finished reading this.

“The dedication to death and to its sovereignty is but the solemn vow, the promise made in secret to the ego never to lift this veil, not to approach it nor even to suspect it is there. This is the secret bargain made with the ego to keep what lies beyond the veil forever blotted out and unremembered. Here is your promise never to allow union to call you out of separation; the great amnesia in which the memory of God seems quite forgotten; the cleavage of you Self from you;-the fear of God, the final step in your dissociation.”

Well, we are breaking that contract, aren’t we? We who are studying the Course and who have dedicated our lives to undoing the ego, have taken the first step, and maybe many steps toward lifting the veil. The way we are doing this is through forgiveness. It is the only way to do it. The lifting of the veil must be done in union and union cannot occur where there is fear and guilt.

“But first, lift up your eyes and look on your brother in innocence born of complete forgiveness of his illusions, and through the eyes of faith that sees the not.”

He tells us that we fear God because we fear our brother, and that no one reaches love with fear beside him. He says this:

“Brother, you need forgiveness of your brother, for you will share in madness or in Heaven together. And you will raise your eyes in faith together, or not at all.

The course I am taking right now is called Remembering to Choose Peace, and one of the things it says in summary of this section is this:

“Jesus wants us to understand that we will receive the gift of innocence we give our brother. When we join together with our brother instead of separating, we are able to go beyond the darkest veil – the fear of God. We are asked to watch very carefully how we are seeing our brother – through the eyes of guilt or innocence, because we will always give as we receive and receive as we give.”

This is why I had to forgive my illusions of the character, Donald Trump. His character represents the ego in a way that made me turn away from him and that can only be because I recognize within myself what I see in him that scares me. And yet, I cannot be redeemed if I hold him guilty. As long as I keep him guilty, I cannot enter the presence of God.

So every day, I look at his picture and I read the things he has done today. I watch my thoughts and my feelings and I offer the Holy Spirit each one that is not forgiving so that both Donald and I can be free. I truly understand that I cannot be free if he is not free. This is why loving Donald Trump is part of my plan for the day every day.

The only thing that interferes with this love is unforgiven illusions of him. So that is part of my plan for the day as well. Let me forgive my illusions of him, for surely, it is the Christ I look upon and I will not be blinded to that.

I will make no decisions with my ego mind and I will have the day God wants for me.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Manual for Teachers: 13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P2. 7-16-18

13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P 2
2 It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give. What can the sacrifice of nothing mean? It cannot mean that you have less because of it. There is no sacrifice in the world’s terms that does not involve the body. Think a while about what the world calls sacrifice. Power, fame, money, physical pleasure; who is the “hero” to whom all these things belong? Could they mean anything except to a body? Yet a body cannot evaluate. By seeking after such things the mind associates itself with the body, obscuring its Identity and losing sight of what it really is.

Journal
Jesus is telling us that while we associate ourselves with the body, we will obscure our true identity. This is the reason we want to stop doing this. What keeps us identifying with the body is the belief that to stop is going to require a sacrifice on our part. We do believe that the world offers us something of value.

As a body in the world, we see ourselves as seekers. in pleasure through winning, having a lot of money, eating, having power, and being famous. But do these things actually satisfy? Do they bring us joy and peace? The common belief is that they do. Here is an example from my own life.

I have gone through a lot of changes when it comes to money. I have had times when finding a dime on the ground was cause for celebration, that’s how broke I was. I had no job and bills to pay and a child for whom I had to provide. I had not yet found the Course but soon would. At that time, though, I thought that if only I had some money, I would be ok. I would be safe and happy.

I also have had times when I had more money than I needed, times when money was not an issue for me. And yet, I still worried about money, about what would happen in the future when I retired and no longer had a source for money. Even though over the years my income continued to rise, I never felt safe about it. I was always anxious about not having enough.

This feeling of never having enough slowly changed though practicing abundance as the Course helps us to see it. But before the Course, money, whether I had it or did not have it, failed to bring me peace of mind, and the only pleasure I found in it was fleeting. Even the pleasure of spending the money and having things was a disappointment. So many times I bought things I thought I couldn’t live without only to discover the pleasure of having them soon faded.

What turned out to be of value was the slow and methodical change of mind that I underwent as I studied and practiced the Course. I learned that I was abundant regardless of the numbers in my bank account or what I owned. I learned that money wasn’t the issue but rather it was a belief in lack and loss that was tormenting me and robbing me of my peace of mind and my happiness. Now that I actually am retired, I don’t have very much money at all, but I have peace of mind and I never lack for anything I need. I have something much more valuable than money. I have faith in my innate abundance.

I can do this with all the things the ego mind finds valuable in the world. None of them are of the least value. The only thing of value here is the opportunity to recognize the world has no value and thus to make a different choice about what I strive for. I am now dedicated to living A Course in Miracles as much as I can. I am dedicated to healing my mind through forgiveness, and I am devoted to my brothers. I use each moment to extend love and to join with others. This is something of true value and does not, in my experience, require any sacrifice.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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