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Study of the Text 3-25-13

3-25
4 Sacrifice is a notion totally unknown to God. It arises solely from fear, and frightened people can be vicious. Sacrificing in any way is a violation of my injunction that you should be merciful even as your Father in Heaven is merciful. It has been hard for many Christians to realize that this applies to themselves. Good teachers never terrorize their students. To terrorize is to attack, and this results in rejection of what the teacher offers. The result is learning failure.

God does not want our sacrifice. He doesn’t even know what sacrifice is. Here are some examples of ways that I have believed in sacrifice.

I want to pray that my friend recover from her sickness but then I question that. Maybe she has a lesson to learn and is supposed to be sick. When I ask Jesus about it I receive a thought questioning why I would think that God wants her pain and suffering. Sanity returns to my mind and I pray that her mind (along with mine) to be healed knowing that a healed mind projects a healed life.

It is not always so direct. My life is an expression of my wishes. When my body is in pain or is sick this is an expression of the need to suffer. I sacrifice through pain now so that later God will not hold my evil deeds against me. Suffering is a way of pushing away from God because I am afraid of Him. I say I am not afraid of God, but my life shows me otherwise.

I suffer when I feel unloved or unaccepted. I suffer when I perceive someone I love as endangered. I suffer when I worry about money. All of these forms of suffering represent an effort to appease an angry God. As I write this I want to argue against it, but I cannot come up with another reason that I would have these things in my life if this were not true. In several places in the Course Jesus says that we choose everything in our life.

• Remember always that you see what you seek, for what you seek you will find.
• As you look in, you choose the guide for seeing. And then you look out and behold its witnesses.
• No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes he wants. And no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all its details. Here is its whole reality for you.
• You made this up. It is a picture of what you think you are; of how you see yourself.
• “This is salvation’s keynote: What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one’s own.”
• You but do this to yourself.
• “From insane wishes comes an insane world. From judgment comes a world condemned. And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth, with mercy for the holy Son of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a while before he journeys on, and help his brothers walk ahead with him and find the way to Heaven and to God.”
• All forms of sickness, even unto death are physical expression of the fear of awakening.

My life, my whole world, is a projection of the beliefs in my mind. If my body or my relationships or my finances are in disarray then it can only be so because this is what I have secretly asked for. (It’s a secret because I am not so insane that I will admit I want pain so I pretend it happens because of someone or something else.)

The only reason to ask for things that hurt me and to populate my world with them is because I think I deserve punishment. My self-imposed guilt has me convinced that I must punish myself in the hopes of appeasing an angry God. Through my life I am basically saying to God, “Look how I suffer for you. Please don’t do anything worse. I have suffered enough, don’t you think?”

Here is the simple truth. God loves us. He does not see us as sinners. He does not believe in our illusions. He does not hold anything against us and does not want our sacrifice to make up for anything. God wants only our happiness. He wants only to love us. We have nothing to fear from God. When we know these things are true we will have banished fear from our minds and there will be nothing left to project except love.

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Study of the Text 3-22-13

3-22-12
3 The statement “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord” is a misperception by which one assigns his own “evil” past to God. The “evil” past has nothing to do with God. He did not create it and He does not maintain it. God does not believe in retribution. His Mind does not create that way. He does not hold your “evil” deeds against you. Is it likely that He would hold them against me? Be very sure that you recognize how utterly impossible this assumption is, and how entirely it arises from projection. This kind of error is responsible for a host of related errors, including the belief that God rejected Adam and forced him out of the Garden of Eden. It is also why you may believe from time to time that I am misdirecting you. I have made every effort to use words that are almost impossible to distort, but it is always possible to twist symbols around if you wish.

First I want to address the fact that Jesus is so clear in this paragraph that it is really impossible to misunderstand, and yet, I remember reading it the first time and doing just that. I was, of course, relieved to know that God does not hold my evil deeds against me, but I continued to believe he did. I continued to feel guilty for them. As it turns out it is not easy to let go of the old way of thinking. Guilt is such a persistent belief.

I wonder how many people on earth do not have at least an occasional thought that someone is guilty, either himself or herself or someone else. Who reads in the paper about some atrocity and doesn’t have a visceral reaction? If not that, who among us does not react to a personal attack as if it really is an attack and someone is guilty for it. My most persistent form of guilt has been for my own past actions.

Every fear I have of God is a projection from my own mind. It is not real because God is Love and nothing else. God cannot also be vengeful because Love is not vengeful. I hold the past against myself and others and then I project that feeling onto God in the assumption that God is like this illusion I think of as “me”. I pray, sincerely, to be healed of this mistaken idea. Let me remember that it is insane that God become like me, but rather that I am like God. Any thought, word, or action that seems to refute this must be an illusion.

As I am like God, it is impossible that I be vengeful except in my dream of separation, and even here it cannot really happen; I can only pretend it could happen. This is all that is going on in the world. I pretend to be something I could never be. Is God angry about this? Is He disappointed in me? He cannot be either of these things. He can only Love me because there is nothing in God except love.

Here is the way I am unlearning these crazy things I have taught myself. When I read about some people being shot in a drive-by, I watched the judgments in my mind. I didn’t try to undo the judgments or change my mind in any way. I just acknowledged them. Then I realized that they could not be true and I opened my mind and heart to Love. I asked that I be healed of these beliefs. I keep doing this every time I notice the opportunity.

As my mind heals of the belief in guilt, retribution, vengeance, and any other feelings arising from the belief in guilt will naturally fall away and love will be all that is left. There will be nothing to project onto God and so there will be nothing to fear from God. This is the path Home. It is an easy path, with many simple steps. It is well marked and our Guide never leaves our side. We have many mighty companions who help us each step of the way. We can wander away for a bit, we can stand in place, but we cannot go backward and we cannot lose our way, nor can we fail to reach the end.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 3-21-13

3-21-13

2 The best defense, as always, is not to attack another’s position, but rather to protect the truth. It is unwise to accept any concept if you have to invert a whole frame of reference in order to justify it. This procedure is painful in its minor applications and genuinely tragic on a wider scale. Persecution frequently results in an attempt to “justify” the terrible misperception that God Himself persecuted His Own Son on behalf of salvation. The very words are meaningless. It has been particularly difficult to overcome this because, although the error itself is no harder to correct than any other, many have been unwilling to give it up in view of its prominent value as a defense. In milder forms a parent says, “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” and feels exonerated in beating a child. Can you believe our Father really thinks this way? It is so essential that all such thinking be dispelled that we must be sure that nothing of this kind remains in your mind. I was not “punished” because you were bad. The wholly benign lesson the Atonement teaches is lost if it is tainted with this kind of distortion in any form.

Everything in the Course teaches us that God is Love and so are we. It teaches us that God loves us and does not want us to suffer, and in fact wants only our happiness. It teaches us that we are one with each other and with God and that everything to the contrary is an illusion of our own making. The Course teaches us that to experience this we only need to let go of our illusion. It even tells us how to do this.

We can’t believe that Jesus was punished for our sins and still believe what he is telling us in A Course in Miracles. Either his death has been completely misunderstood or what he has told us in the Course is wrong. The desire to hold onto this idea of Jesus dying for our sins is representative of our desire to justify holding onto some of the illusion while letting the rest go, and is why we experience the process as hard.

Jesus gives the example of using his death as justification for beating a child. If our Heavenly Father killed His son to atone for our sins, then it makes perfect since to believe it’s alright to beat a misbehaving child. I see that this kind of thinking shows up in my life in many ways. I want to let go of the illusion of separation and return my mind to God, but it seems I want to retain my “right” to punish myself and others.

As I was writing about beating a child, I thought about an instance when I lost my temper and slapped my daughter. Just thinking about this I felt so guilty and so regretful that I cried. Even after all these years I had not allowed this guilt to be healed because I didn’t feel worthy of forgiveness. I have been holding onto the idea of condemnation and punishment for just these kinds of things.

I have learned to civilize my behavior so I seldom act on my angry thoughts, but the thoughts are still there sometimes. Any time I think someone should have acted differently, I have silently condemned them, and in my mind I have punished them. The punishment might even show up in our life. I might punish them by avoiding them, for instance.

In the scheme of things it doesn’t seem like much, but in judging this person and finding him guilty and deserving of punishment I have rejected everything the Course is teaching me. I have rejected my true Self, my Oneness, my unity with my brothers and with God. In short, I have said that I choose not to accept my self as Love because it would mean that I would have to be one with this person who just doesn’t meet my standards.

It would also mean that I cannot accept God Who is Love and Who knows nothing of condemnation or punishment. However, if I can say that God punished His Son with death, then this makes it easier to justify my own judgments. This is why Jesus says that we must get rid of any belief that we still hold about his death being a punishment.

To return to God, we must let go of the idea of guilt, blame and punishment; even of death. These are things we made up as part of the separation idea. They didn’t exist before we made them and they do not truly exist now. They have nothing to do with God and nothing to do with reality.

It is not that we have to forgive a guilty behavior, but that we have to forgive the very idea of guilt. Yes, we practice this by forgiving people, ourselves, and situations. We do this by forgiving one guilty thought at a time, because we must start someplace. But in doing this practice we are simply allowing our mind to adjust to the truth that guilt itself is unreal and so there is nothing to forgive.

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Study of the Text 3-20-13

Chapter 3: THE INNOCENT PERCEPTION
3-20-13
I. Atonement Without Sacrifice

1 A further point must be perfectly clear before any residual fear still associated with miracles can disappear. The crucifixion did not establish the Atonement; the resurrection did. Many sincere Christians have misunderstood this. No one who is free of the belief in scarcity could possibly make this mistake. If the crucifixion is seen from an upside-down point of view, it does appear as if God permitted and even encouraged one of His Sons to suffer because he was good. This particularly unfortunate interpretation, which arose out of projection, has led many people to be bitterly afraid of God. Such anti-religious concepts enter into many religions. Yet the real Christian should pause and ask, “How could this be?” Is it likely that God Himself would be capable of the kind of thinking which His Own words have clearly stated is unworthy of His Son?

The crucifixion did not establish the Atonement; the resurrection did. This was a very important sentence for me when I first read the Course. I remember sighing a deep sigh of relief. Having spent most of my life as a devout Catholic, I had bought into the idea that the focus of my spiritual beliefs was that Jesus died for my sins and that I should, in return, live a sinless life or his suffering and death were for naught.

This idea of suffering for God was very strong in the Catholic Church. Saints were venerated for their martyrdom and as a child I hoped that one day I would face a crisis of faith and have the opportunity to prove that I was willing to suffer for God, too. I loved God so much that I just knew I would not back down from this challenge.

As I grew older and committed “sins,” I lost faith in myself as a good Catholic. I was guilty and so no longer believed in my pure love of God and His love for me. I became afraid of the idea of sacrifice for God and felt even guiltier. This change did not evolve consciously, and it is only in retrospect that I see how it happened that I went from feeling loved and protected by God to feeling guilty and fearful of God. I learned to dread the moment I would be asked to face crucifixion to prove myself worthy of salvation.

The idea of guilt and the need to atone for this guilt through suffering is a very deeply rooted belief and shows up in my life even now. It shows up in many little ways. I think I choose to suffer sickness and heartache, poverty and disillusionment because I am afraid of something worse. I am trying to appease an angry and vengeful God so that He will not inflict worse upon me.

I throw myself headlong into pain and suffering and finally death in an effort to convince God I have hurt myself enough and He doesn’t need to demand my crucifixion. Maybe my self-inflicted suffering will convince Him I am worthy of His love again, and I will be saved. Of course, I don’t consciously ascribe to this theory, but I keep hurting myself so what can I say?

Jesus has offered us a new way of atoning for our supposed sins. He has set into place a plan that will actually save us from our mistaken beliefs. His plan of Atonement requires that we look at those ideas and choose against them. The Holy Spirit will then purify our minds and heal us. We will be left with nothing but truth and will surely laugh at the idea that God has ever wanted our suffering.

What will I have to give up to join Jesus in his plan of Atonement? I will have to give up the belief in guilt. The idea of suffering will have to go. That means no more sickness, no more poverty, no more pain, jealousy, rage, doubt, fear, loneliness, depression or death. I will have to give up the idea of a God that wants me to suffer to prove my love. I don’t know, if I give up all of that, what will be left?

Can that be a real fear I have, that I am nothing without my sins and my punishments? Maybe. Evidently, this is exactly what I did believe for my whole life. Now I have embraced the possibility that I am more than my fear and guilt and that there is a way to reclaim this Self that loves God and is loved and cherished by Him. Through the Plan of Atonement established by Jesus, I am resurrecting my real Self. My thinking is being corrected, my mind is being healed, and my memory is returning. Love is reclaiming me.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 3-19-13

3-19-13
5 The term “Last Judgment” is frightening not only because it has been projected onto God, but also because of the association of “last” with death. This is an outstanding example of upside-down perception. If the meaning of the Last Judgment is objectively examined, it is quite apparent that it is really the doorway to life. No one who lives in fear is really alive. Your own last judgment cannot be directed toward yourself, because you are not your own creation. You can, however, apply it meaningfully and at any time to everything you have made, and retain in your memory only what is creative and good. This is what your right-mindedness cannot but dictate. The purpose of time is solely to “give you time” to achieve this judgment. It is your own perfect judgment of your own perfect creations. When everything you retain is loveable, there is no reason for fear to remain with you. This is your part in the Atonement.

I love this section on the Last Judgment. When I first began the study of the Course I could not imagine God not judging my behavior. I considered all sorts of variations of the Last Judgment in which God judged me but was merciful, but always there was a judgmental God. I guess this part of Christianity was hard for me to let go.

Perhaps it was because I felt so guilty that I could not imagine not being judged. And of course, I still found value in judging others so I would not let go of the idea of judgment. If I hold onto the idea of judgment, I will judge myself. As Jesus said in the New Testament, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” He understood that if I judged others it was inevitable that I judge myself as well.

I understand now that the last judgment is the process of looking at all I have made and deciding what is real and worth keeping. I have all the time I need to do this. That is what time is for. Yesterday, I mentioned that I had another opportunity to look at the idea of pain and suffering (which is one of the things I made up) and decide if this is something I want to keep.

I have had a pain in my neck off and on for a long time now, maybe a couple of years. It suddenly got worse and the ego would like to make a big deal of this. I have thought about getting an MRI for this and the ego thinks this would be a good idea. I will if I need to, but I don’t really want to because having a diagnosis will just make it harder to realize it is not real.

I am absolutely not against going to the doctor and doing whatever it is I need to do at this point in my process of waking up. I am where I am and that’s ok. I am never guilty for any decision I make so there is no need to act in a certain way. In fact, knowing where I am is useful because it lets me know what yet needs to be healed, and I can work on that. But I have let go of a lot of things and I want to give myself a chance to look at this before I make a medical decision.

When I had a kidney stone I used the situation to do this work. I looked at it and decided if this thing I had done was valuable and something to hold onto. I finally decided against it because I foresaw a lot of pain and I did not want that pain, and I had practiced enough to know that it was possible to let it go.

However, I had set things in motion with a doctor and even though I knew the problem had been resolved, since there was no pain involved the doctor didn’t believe it. I allowed myself to be swayed and let the doctor do surgery. In spite of weeks of cat scans which clearly showed a fair sized stone, when he did the surgery he didn’t find anything. It was no longer there.

It was an unnecessary surgery and financially costly, but it was a part of my learning process. This is one of the reasons I am waiting to see with the neck problem. I remember how hard it was to ignore the diagnosis and the warnings of the medical profession. However this goes, whether I will decide to judge against this thing I have made or not, I will use it for the purpose of waking up. This process of looking and making a judgment about what I made is part of the Last Judgment, and whether I decide against it or not it is an important step in that direction.

Here is another example of the Last Judgment. I was annoyed with someone I know. I noticed how harshly I was judging him, and so I asked for the Atonement for myself in this situation. I repeated this several times and in a moment of frustration I wondered how many times I was going to have to do this before I let it go.

I had no doubt that this belief in judgment needed to be released. I saw clearly that I was projecting. Projection is another defense that I want to see healed. But I kept going back to how wrong he was in spite of the obvious truth. When I had that thought, “How many times am I going to have to do this before it is done,” I received an answer. There were no words, just a knowing, but if put into words this is what I was told. “You must mean it. “

I immediately realized that I had been going through the motions without truly looking at it and deciding what I wanted. I was saying I wanted the Atonement because my judgment was making me anxious and unsettled, not because I wanted anything to change. I had not decided that I wanted to be free of judgment and projection, just that I didn’t want to suffer the consequences of those things.

So I stopped immediately, realized that I do want to be free. I mentally went through the process of opening my heart to Love and allowing my self to accept the Atonement. I asked, with sincerity that my mind be healed of this. It took all of three or four seconds, but then it was done. Forgiveness was complete and I was at peace.

This is the process of the Last Judgment. Who knew it would be me that was doing the judgment, and not of myself, but of what I have made? I cannot judge myself because I did not make myself. I can only judge what I made. I am not judging that I was wrong to have made them, but am judging whether they are worthy of me and if I want to keep them. 

And I have all the time I need to do this. I can drag it out for another million years if I want the misery. Or I can, with the Holy Spirit’s help, look at what I have made, judge against what is not creative and good, and live the happy dream until we all return our mind to Oneness. I have made my choice about this, and I make it over and over until there is no question in my mind about what I want.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 3-18-13

3-18-13
4 The first step toward freedom involves a sorting out of the false from the true. This is a process of separation in the constructive sense, and reflects the true meaning of the Apocalypse. Everyone will ultimately look upon his own creations and choose to preserve only what is good, just as God Himself looked upon what He had created and knew that it was good. At this point, the mind can begin to look with love on its own creations because of their worthiness. At the same time the mind will inevitably disown its miscreations which, without belief, will no longer exist.

It is interesting that Jesus calls the period of sorting out the false from the true the Apocalypse. The definition of apocalypse is total destruction and also revelation of future. Though Jesus probably wasn’t thinking of Webster’s when he used the term, it feels like both to me. I am totally destroying the way I used to think and what is left is revealing my future.

For a long time now I have been going through the process of sorting through my thoughts. I look at the thought in my mind and if it is a thought I would think with God then I am happy with it and keep it. If it is an ego thought, anything that does not reflect God, I realize I don’t want to keep it and I ask that my mind be healed. Then I accept the healing because this is what I really want.

I have begun to truly experience the results of this work. I have watched as the wrong minded thinking, now disowned and no longer existing for me, ceased to have effects in the world of time and space.  The miracle is the healing of the mind, and it is an awesome miracle when it happens. Within the world I see the miracle reflected in the form of peace and happiness and often in the form of a shifting illusion.

Sometimes, oftentimes, as the mind is healed of a belief, that belief no longer shows up in my world.  Sometimes the effect remains in the world, but no longer has a negative impact on me. An example of the first occurred when I was working on pain as not being real. The Course says that pain cannot be real and that began to make sense to me.

My mind believed in pain as real and unavoidable under certain conditions. The one thing I was looking at was pain from driving so much. At first I did what I have always done. I looked for ways to relieve the pain. I tried getting my car seat redone. I went to a chiropractor. I took pain pills. I used yoga to relieve the pain. Nothing worked and the pain just got worse, and I am glad it did.

It was because I could not manipulate the effect, that I began to question the source, which was my belief about pain.  One day I thought I could not continue to do my job and I talked to the Holy Spirit about it. I said that I didn’t know what to do, but something had to give. I just could not continue to work like this. I asked for His help. I thought He would lead me to another job or something like that. Open a door I had not known was there.

He did open a door for me, but it was not from one story in the illusion to another story in the illusion. It was a door leading out of the illusion. I found myself reading Lesson 190 that is about pain. I was drawn to the one sentence that says pain cannot be real and I started working with that thought. It took me many weeks of looking at the belief in pain with the Holy Spirit, feeling the pain, questioning the belief that sourced the pain and rejecting it, before I began to believe that pain could not possibly be real.

I began to realize that I must be making this up as a defense against God. I was using pain as a way to prove separation is real and that God does not love me, or maybe doesn’t exist at all.  I looked at the idea that I could have pain in my legs and finally rejected that idea. The pain ceased to exist. It was amazing! I still do the same job, still drive hours a day in the same car, but I have no pain. When I asked for help, I thought it would come as a new job, but Holy Spirit gave me a new mind. Sweet!

It is interesting to me that I am willing to let the idea of pain go in many situations, but not in all. This willingness is not always apparent on a conscious level. I don’t say to myself that I will not believe in pain in this situation, but I will believe in it in another. But at some level I am deciding. I am looking at a thought and deciding if it is real and if I want to keep it.

I have had many opportunities to sort this idea of pain. It seems to be a process for me that continues. I suppose that it will continue until I make a final decision. Just as I chose to use the leg pain to decide if pain is real, I continue to make the decision about pain using other circumstances. I’ve decided not to judge myself for my apparent indecision and to just be patient with myself as I continue the work.

Even as I write this I am given another opportunity to decide if pain is real. Sometimes I scare myself because I know I choose everything in my life. Will I never stop choosing pain and suffering? And yet, I know that the mind that chooses pain is not my real mind. It is the ego mind that wants to continue the story and that is afraid of God. Through the power of my real mind, the mind I share with God, I make another choice.

Another problem I had with my work was the extreme conditions I worked under. At times it was very pleasant work, but other times it was much harder. I worked outside most of the time and the heat was very bad during the summer. As I have gotten older I notice that the heat affects me more strongly than it did when I was younger and I was truly miserable. At the time this was happening the heat index was in excess of 100 degrees and the humidity was 100%. Sometimes I thought I was going to suffer heat stroke, something that happened to a couple of my customers.

I decided that since I couldn’t do anything about the weather, I should do something about my thoughts about the weather. It occurred to me that this situation was of my own making. As Jesus says, I but do this to myself. I asked the Holy Spirit to purify my thoughts about this and I looked forward to seeing the solution. Almost immediately, I noticed the change in how I reacted to the situation. I simply didn’t feel upset or miserable.

The heat was still there and I was still working in it. The difference was that I didn’t react to it. I have remained unaffected by it since. Recently, my job description was changed slightly and while I still do the work I enjoy, I am not working in the elements as much as I was before. I didn’t do anything within the story to make this happen. When I change my mind about the purpose of the story, the story often changes as well.

The most wonderful part of this process is that in sorting out my thoughts and letting go of the wrong-minded ones, I am not just feeling less negativity; I am experiencing my true thoughts. I feel loved and loving. I feel happy. I feel something I don’t know how to describe. It is gratitude and love and happiness and yet, just saying those words does not do justice to the feeling. Am I beginning to look with love on my own creations? Or is it a foreshadowing of this? I don’t know but I’m glad it is happening.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 3-15-13

3-15-13
3 The Last Judgment is generally thought of as a procedure undertaken by God. Actually it will be undertaken by my brothers with my help. It is a final healing rather than a meting out of punishment, however much you may think that punishment is deserved. Punishment is a concept totally opposed to right-mindedness, and the aim of the Last Judgment is to restore right-mindedness to you. The Last Judgment might be called a process of right evaluation. It simply means that everyone will finally come to understand what is worthy and what is not. After this, the ability to choose can be directed rationally. Until this distinction is made, however, the vacillations between free and imprisoned will cannot but continue.

I had always imagined that when I died I would stand before God and be judged. I thought I would have to look at my life being replayed before me and see every mistake I had ever made balanced against the things I did right. I imagined God frowning down at me in either anger or disappointment. When I would do something especially shameful I would cringe at the thought that one day, I would have to explain myself to God. No wonder I was afraid of death.

In spite of my fear of the last judgment, it was hard to let go. I felt I deserved to be punished. More importantly, I felt others needed to be punished, but the problem was that if I believed they needed to be punished, then I could not believe I would be found innocent either. It’s ridiculous to me now, but I would think of some people and feel a thrill of righteousness as I imagined them finally getting theirs when they had to face God. God was my own personal avenger.

The unfortunate side effect was that the sword cut both ways and so I would have to face the same avenger. I guess that’s why we thought up purgatory or levels of heaven or some such nonsense. We were trying to find a way to condemn others without condemning ourselves. We are always trying to do this, but it cannot work.

We are experiencing the last judgment right now. We are learning to tell the difference between what is valuable and what has no value. Until we learn to tell the difference we have no basis for judgment, and so we cannot make a rational choice. We are always choosing between God and ego. We do this all day long every day. But our choices are haphazard, and often senseless, because we don’t understand why we make the choices we do, and because we are mistaken in our reasoning.

This happens over things that we think of as major decisions and the ones that are so minor in our minds that we hardly notice them. This morning I went online and checked my bank accounts like I always do. The first thing I noticed is that the bank did not add my house note like they promised to a week ago, and like they should have when I first signed the note.

I chose to be angry about that. I thought of all the times when I have had to ask them to do things more than once and I thought about how careless this is for a bank. I chose to reign in my anger and thought about how I would approach the problem to let them know that I wanted this fixed without appearing bitchy. All of this happened in maybe a single minute.

Then, I realized the choice I had made. I chose anger, projection, and blame. I chose anxiety over peace. I chose to teach all of this to the bank personnel that I spoke with, and hopefully to do so in a way that left me looking innocent. I chose to teach us all that getting the banking right was our purpose, and determined our worth, and determined our state of mind. If it all went well then we could be at peace. If it was not done correctly then peace was out the door and someone was guilty.

Seen like that, I easily and quickly made a saner choice. I re-evaluated it and decided to accept the Atonement in this situation. I opened my heart and asked for Love to heal my mind and this situation. This is how I made another choice. You see! I am learning to tell the valuable from the valueless! This is the last judgment occurring right here before our eyes.

I am doing this with Jesus, under his direction and with his help. And in so doing, I am being a teacher for God and am sharing this with my brothers at the bank through my actions and attitude, and now to you through the re-telling of the story. Of course, the peace is spread throughout the Sonship and so the healing is for us all.

I am learning that all decisions are useful for this healing, not just the ones that feel important to me. I am learning to watch for these opportunities and to open my mind to the truth. In this situation with the banking error this morning, I could have closed my mind to the Holy Spirit. If I were very fearful about money, I might have been unwilling to see the bank as innocent. I might have been more interested in defending myself and unable to see that this defense is valueless.

Where I sometimes remain confused is in relationships. Anywhere I have a lot of fear I can become confused about what is important. When in fear I tend to want to set up my defenses and this seems to be a valuable choice. Sometimes I cannot think past my defenses. I just cannot see how the other person or the situation can be anything but threatening and I cannot imagine defenselessness as being a viable option.

These are the opportunities to be taught differently. My experience has been that I can be easily healed if I step away from my fear long enough to ask for the Atonement and if I can trust enough to accept the healing. It is easier if I remember that my trust in Jesus is well founded. It helps to remember that the Holy Spirit responds to my slightest invitation. I am not doing this alone. I am fully supported.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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