Together, We Light the Way

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I CAN ONLY REMEMBER

What I really understand now is that I can neither learn nor teach anything of any real importance. Here is how this finally dawned on me:

I had suddenly understood something important that had, up to then, eluded me. I was so excited and couldn?t wait to tell other Course friends. When the person I first told about it obviously didn?t understand what I was saying, I thought it was because I had not found the right words. I tried again. Again, she understood, but not in the way I meant; not at the same level. I started to try again when finally I heard my Inner Guidance chuckling at my silliness. What she heard and would continue to hear, in spite of my clear explanation, was what fit with her own concepts.

The truth is not something I learn. It is something I remember. If I can?t learn it, I can?t teach it. I wondered for a moment how I remembered it; what was the trigger? What came to me is that I remember when I remove the blocks to remembering. On my website I have a page on which I describe some of my favorite processes for doing this. No one process is better than another. None of them is the magic formula. They are just useful tools to remove the blocks of Love?s awareness.

Every time I forgive, I remove a block. Every time I remove a block, I remember a little more. Everything I seek is right here in me quietly residing behind the wall of resistance I have built to keep it out of my awareness. I have been chipping away at that wall for a long time. Sometimes when a big chunk comes away, I am frightened by the light that comes through and try to push the block back in place. It is a hopeless job. Once a block is out, it is out. I can only give myself time to adjust to the light and soon I see it as a welcome change.

If I cannot teach others to have what I am gaining, what am I supposed to do? I thought it was my job to save the world? The answer I got is that I save the world by saving myself. The ego part of me doesn?t like this. The answer seems to be saying that I (the little ego I) doesn?t have a very big role to play. I remember enough of the truth to laugh at this and be very glad it is true. The ego-self has done nothing good for me in all of its existence. It is not going to start now.

I think that within the illusion, I can only shine with whatever light I have uncovered in my mind, and allow this light to be seen by whoever is sent my way. I can say things and write things, and maybe some of that will remind someone else of a dimly remembered truth. If so, they may be motivated to dig a little deeper at their own wall of resistance. That is all I can do. The words, though, are meaningless unless I live them. It is not my words, but my life that points the way.

Holy Spirit, be my Guide today, that I might shine brightly, a beacon of Light and Love to all who are looking for it. I offer to You, every wrong minded thought that it might be corrected and another block removed from my wall of resistance. This morning, I am ready to shine!

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Being of Service

Sometimes it seems hard to know how best to be of service. Someone is in crisis, or simply processing and I wonder, ?How can I really help? At what point will my helpfulness become intrusive?? What about other times when the need is not so obvious? I started thinking about this because of something that happened while I was working. I was helping a customer with some paper work he had to submit to a governmental agency. I was so intent on what we were doing and with getting through so I could make my next appointment that it wasn?t until I was leaving that I picked up on his discomfort.

I?m pretty sure he had a personal problem that he may have wanted to talk about, but I missed the chance to offer him that opportunity. He keeps popping up in my thoughts. I decided to hold him in God?s healing light and to know that he is loved and perfectly protected. In linear time, it may be too late, but time isn?t the truth so it is never too late. The Holy Spirit is not hampered by our ego laws. Healing moves across the imaginary borders of time easily, completely unimpeded by false ideas like past and present.

I regret not being present in the moment I was with this man. If I had been, I would have asked for guidance, and if led to do so, would have opened the way for him to share. I would have stepped back and allowed the Holy Spirit to lead the way. Then I would have known what to say, and how to be of service. For the most part, I think that is the secret to serving; just to be aware and open to guidance.

I also think that I can be helpful simply because that is my intention. There are so many little ways in which we can serve. I was checking into a hotel and was tired and distracted. The clerk was kind and friendly, and I immediately felt renewed. My energy level went up, and I felt myself smiling gratefully at her. Such a little thing, being kind and friendly, easy to do, costs nothing, and yet we might never know how important it is to another person. Perhaps it is not such a small thing after all. A lifetime of smiles and kind words would be a lifetime of healing. I would love to know that my lifetime could be summed up as one of kindness.

Being of service would indeed be difficult if I had to figure out what to say and to whom, but that is not my part in it. I only have to be ready and willing to step back so that the Holy Spirit can lead me. I set my intention by starting the day with a prayer from A Course in Miracles.
  I am here only to be truly helpful.
This is a perfect beginning. It is here that I set my intention. In this statement, I have decided my purpose and made clear how I will respond to whatever happens. I will be truly helpful. I have always found it easier to be with smaller groups of people, and when there are too many, I feel overwhelmed. So when I went to a meeting last night where there would be 30 or so folks, I reminded myself of my purpose by saying just the one easy to remember line; I am here only to be truly helpful. So I don?t have a lot of things to figure out as I interact with the people at the meeting, because whatever their story is, I only need to do or say whatever would be truly helpful.

The second sentence of the prayer says:
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
When I think about this, I feel tears coming into my eyes. Did I think that this meeting was just the last thing on my schedule, something to get through so that I could go home? Perhaps this is true in the ego perspective of my life, but in truth, God sent me here. I am here to represent Him. What was a mundane purpose, seen in the light of truth, is now recognized as lofty indeed.

The prayer goes on to say:
I do not have to worry about what to say or what
  to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
Well, that is a relief. I do want to serve God through serving my brother, but what qualifies me to do that? How could I know that would prepare me for this? How could I know what is best for everyone in any situation?

I knew a woman who was often very wise and who seemed always to know the right thing to do. I liked her very much, and since I was quite young and had little experience of life to draw on, appreciated her wisdom and the quiet authority with which she spoke. But then, if she noticed that someone was going to change their mind and act according to what she said, she would say no, that?s for me, you have to decide for yourself what to do. She was certain for herself, but didn?t want to take the responsibility of influencing others.

If I speak only for my ego-self, I will feel the same way. As a young woman, I was disconcerted by her uncertainty, but as I grew older, I began to understand her conflict. I, too, sensed that I had no way of knowing what was needed by someone else, and yet I also sensed that I was there for a reason. A Course in Miracles helped me to understand that while I am here for a reason, I am not here on my own authority, nor am I left to make these decisions on my own. The Holy Spirit will tell me what to say and what to do if I let Him.

The next line perfectly expresses my relief at not being on my own, and my decision to be directed. It says:
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing
  He goes there with me.
This speaks to acceptance. In the past, I have tried to accept what was, and it has been an uphill battle. The ego-self wants its way. Its focus is on the comfort and protection of the body, and will fight to achieve that goal. It is an impossible goal, and only serves to keep me in conflict and discontent. On the other hand, trying is an ego concept, and so in the end, will always fail.

In this line of the prayer, I am offered an alternative that works. I know that God goes with me everywhere I go, so I am perfectly protected and perfectly loved. I have no concern where that may be, because my safety and my joy are not dependent on the place, or the situation, or on who may be there with me. All that I need in every circumstance is provided because I am with God. I am content.

And finally:
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.
This is what it is all about. God does not send me to a person for my entertainment, or to help me pass the time. I have a purpose, and that purpose is to heal. By keeping God in the lead, I learn to heal. Because this is true, every encounter has the potential to be holy. There are many ways in which this plays out in our stories, but it is always about seeing the innocence. I was in a meeting when someone I don?t like showed up. I have such a hard time being around this man. Even though I was uncomfortable with my judgment, I had a hard time releasing it. Later I asked the Holy Spirit what I should do. I just didn?t know how to handle this in a way that was healing. How this person acted, and what he said kept engaging my attention.

The next morning the first thing I thought when I woke up is that this man is perfectly innocent. Nothing he says or does has any impact on his innocence which was guaranteed in his creation. I wondered if that could be all there was to it. Yes! I understood that this is all I need to know about this man. I went to bed blaming myself for my judgments, and blaming him for putting me in this position. I woke up in forgiveness, and discovered that I am as innocent as he is. This relationship is healed. There is nothing I can do that is more important than this. I have a T-shirt that has this ACIM quote: The holiest of all spots on earth is where an ancient hatred becomes a present love. And how could I do anything but love that innocent child of God.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Ho?opnopnono

I received an email that changed my life. In this email I heard about a Hawaiian healing process called Ho?opnopnono.  The email tells about how Dr. Hew Len used this process to heal an entire ward of criminally insane people without ever seeing any of the patients. He did this by healing the part of him that created them. He called this taking total responsibility.

I was deeply touched by the truth I read in this email. Understanding that I am not a victim of the world I see, and knowing that I am responsible for my life is one of the most important things I have ever learned. Being responsible means there is no one to blame for what happens in my life, and that is so freeing. Dr. Len helped me to take this idea to a new level. He says that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life-simply because it is in your life-is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Because this is true, it becomes my responsibility to heal everything in my life, not just to work on those things which I personally contribute like the things I say to people which affect them and so cause a reaction that impacts my life, but literally everything in my life. This makes perfect sense. There is nothing out there. I made the whole thing up in my mind. Everything I see is a reflection of my belief system. If I don?t like it, I need to think differently. I know this, but I had never considered it in such a broad context. If I felt free before, I don?t even know what to call how I feel now.

Dr. Len said that the way he did the work at the hospital was to look at the patient?s files and then say ?I?m sorry? and ?I love you.? Joe Vitale, the creator of the email, said that when he used this process he didn?t even say it to anyone in particular; he was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within himself what was creating the outer circumstance.

I was so excited to begin this work, and I had a perfect opportunity to do so. I had recently met a young woman with whom I had a conflicted relationship from the very beginning. I had no idea what the problem was, but I could tell she was experiencing the same thing. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at her ?file? with me. I saw that I was seeing some personality traits that I didn?t like.

Then I asked the Holy Spirit to look at my ?file? with me and to show me what I needed to see. I realized that I, too, have some of those same traits. They showed up in different ways, but they were definitely there. I saw that I didn?t like seeing that in myself, and that instead of asking for healing, I had projected them outward. In this way I could avoid experiencing the discomfort of guilt by making it seem that someone else was the guilty party. I felt very sorry that I did this, and withdrew those projections. I wanted them back so that I could ask the Holy Spirit to help me to see them differently.

I said that I was sorry. I said, ?I love you.? I did this over and over and soon I began to feel this deep connection with the Holy Spirit. I began to feel a sense of love and peace flow through me. It was a great feeling and I knew that I was healed. Suddenly my phone rang with a number I didn?t recognize. I was really surprised to see that it was the very person I had chosen to do the process around. I was surprised at the timing, and even more surprised that she would call me. That she even had my phone number was startling (and that turned out to be a miracle story in itself). By the time we had talked for thirty minutes, it was obvious that we both felt the healing.

I continued to use this process. I was at a business conference last week. A friend called to talk about how the latest terrorist activity in England would affect our travel plans. I didn?t know anything about it because I don?t watch television or listen to news reports. I decided to check it out. As I listened to the newscaster go over and over the same report, I began to feel the fear grow in me. I remembered why I quit watching these things, and I turned it off. The problem with fear is that it is like a virus; once you become infected with it, it spreads all through your thoughts.

I started thinking about my son?s back problem. He was going to the doctor soon, and I was worried about what would be said. I remembered that my daughter had called with an update on her house which was still being repaired from the hurricane damage. The costs were higher than expected and I worried that she would not be able to afford to do all the work needed. The fear thoughts were like a program running in the back of my mind as I went about my business at the busy conference.

Soon I was in a funk, without really knowing why. I did know that I had lost my peace and I wanted it back. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see what needed healing. Very quickly I realized where the problem started. I noticed thoughts like, ?Some of these religious fanatics are really insane. No one is safe from them. It is just a matter of time before they succeed in another act of terror here in the US.? Then I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see what it was within myself that created terrorists. This is where the problem occurred, and this is where it must be corrected.

Together we looked at the terrorist file. I saw rage and fear, and intolerance. Then we looked at my file and I saw the same thing. I have moments of intense rage. Usually, I suppress it, but when I act on it I am a terrorist, too. I may not blow up buildings when I am enraged, but I cause pain and destroy relationships when I am acting out my anger. It is not a lesser act of terrorism because no one dies. It is only an ego device to camouflage rage as anger, annoyance, or frustration, but in truth no matter what the form looks like, if it is not God it is ego. Those are the only two choices.

I expressed my remorse at having projected my rage and intolerance in the form of terrorists. I asked the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking and to heal my mind. I expressed my love toward all. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me know that each terrorist is completely innocent no matter what his actions. I am completely innocent no matter what my actions, or even my thoughts. I was surprised at how quickly I regained my peace. I felt light and I smiled a lot. Ahhh!

Another way this process has been useful concerns body issues. Anyone who has read much of what I have written knows that I have a core issue around my body weight. I just bought some new fall clothes and before I could wear any of them, I gained a few pounds. I was really disgusted with myself, and then I thought about my tendency to rename my fury to make it sound more acceptable. So I really let go and said what I was thinking. ?I hate my body. I hate my weakness. I hate what I do to myself.? Whew, that was even hard to write. No wonder I prefer to project this kind of thing.

I asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this. What I got is that I am never going to heal anything through hatred. Healing takes place only through Love. So I used the Ho?opnopnono process with this also. I apologized for my projections and decided to stop blaming everything outside myself. I decided to accept that it is not food that makes me gain weight. It is not my mom?s fault for passing me the fat gene. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at this with me and help me see what it is within myself that creates this outer appearance. What is it within myself that needs to be healed? 

Then I started saying I love you. I love every part of myself, including the part that projected the guilt that translated into excess body. I love you. I love you. Now every time I have an unloving thought about myself, I remember to love myself instead. When I find it difficult to do this, I ask the Holy Spirit to teach me how to love. I don?t have absolute clarity about what it is in me that needs to be healed, but I do absolutely know that it is through love that it will be healed.

Have you ever used this process? I would love to hear about your experiences with it, or perhaps you have another healing process you like. If so, I would like to hear about that as well. My email address is .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) I look forward to hearing from you.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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The Blessings Just Keep Coming

One of the most valuable things about the experience I recently had with my mom, (see Seeing Mom Clearly) was watching what happens when I withdraw my projections. I was sad to see her in that position of course, but most of my discomfort was in picturing myself in her place and also my guilt over all the things I did and said that I could not make amends for. So I was projecting my fear and guilt and anger onto her.

Discovering that she was not suffereing as I had supposed, made it easier to stop projecting and allowed me to see her differently. Well, over the last few days, I have come to realize that I have withdrawn ALL the projections I had put on her in our life together. I see her clean and beautiful now, and so completely innocent. I find that I long to visit again just to be nearer that lovely spirit.

I am filled with a sense of excitement at the possibilities. If I withdraw my projections from other people in my life, how will they look to me? As I do this for more and more people, will this feeling of joy expand? Will I begin to experience myself as innocent as well?

Holy Spirit, I don’t know how to do this by myself. I invite you into my mind and ask that you correct my projection thoughts about the people in my life. I am willing to relinquish the need I thought I had to make them guilty. I long to see the innocence in them instead. I long to know my own innocence.

Thank you.

 

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Seeing Mom Clearly

I recently read about a new speaker scheduled for the ACIM Conference in San Francisco next February. Her name is Tammy Holmes and she is a spiritual coach as well as a gifted sensitive. For reasons I didn?t understand, I felt very strongly guided to call Tammy for a reading. So I went to her web page, stayawakeproductions.com, and got her phone number.

She helped me see a lot of things clearly and also shared with me some great info about my kids and future relationships. However, there were two very important things she told me. One of them was about my mom.

Mom is in a nursing home experiencing Alzheimer?s. I have always found it very hard to visit her because she doesn’t remember me, can’t communicate, and seems to be in such a sad confused state. I never visit that I don’t rush out in tears.

Tammy told me she was speaking to Mom and that she wanted to assure me that she is not in that body. Mom says that she is glad not to be in the body because she didn’t think she could stand it. She says that she is working on things and that even though she is not in the body, she enjoys my visits because she can feel my energy. She loves me very much and wishes we had had more time together.

I felt so much better. It was so good to know that Mom was not suffering the indignities inflicted by Alzheimer?s. It was such a relief to know that outside that body she still knows me and loves me. I am glad to know that she is not hanging around out of fear of dieing, but because she still has work to do.

I went by to see her the next day. Without all my projections of fear and guilt placed on her I could see her clearly. I saw that her eyes were glazed over; there simply wasn’t anyone home. I stood there wondering how to best be with her. I no longer felt the need to entertain or distract her with stories she could not relate to anyway. I no longer felt the need to make inane conversation just to nervously fill time before I could feel justified in getting out of there.

I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. I bent over and kissed her. She turned her head and looked me straight in the eye. She said very clearly, “love you.” It was such a dramatic change and my heart was so touched. It took real effort for her to get the words out, and her eyes were so clear and focused on me. Then she mumbled something I could not really understand except for the word gratitude. I told her that I was grateful for her, too, and that she had been a wonderful mom. She smiled at me, then turned her head and went away.

I will never dread visiting my mom again.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Healing From the Inside Out

I chose healing as my topic today, because this is what I most need to learn. I don?t know everything there is to know about healing, but what I have come to understand is that healing does not take place in the body at all, and that it is the correction of my thoughts that bring about healing.

It is the mistaken thought that I can be separate from God and from my brother that cause illness. This belief system, which A Course in Miracles calls the ego, is the source of all dis-ease in the body. The Holy Spirit tells me that I am God?s holy child, that He created me like Himself, and that He has not changed His mind about me. So if I do feel separate from God, it must be in my mind that the separation has occurred. It is in my mind that the correction must be made.

These separation thoughts are reflected in my relationships as well. When a friend disagrees with me about something I have made important it feels like an attack, and so I defend myself. If I did not see us as separate who would there be to attack me? Who would I defend against? This whole thing could only happen if I believed we were separate beings with separate interests and so in competition. God created but one Son and so it is not possible that we are separate from each other. All of these thoughts began, not in creation, but in my mind. It is here that they must be healed.

When I see myself as being separate, it is as if there were this gap that existed between me and the one who is not me. It is in that little gap I imagine exists between myself and others that the seed of sickness germinates. As I mentally close that little gap, I replace the seed of sickness with the seed of healing and wholeness.

So how do I close the gap I imagine exists between myself and my brother, and myself and God? Awareness is the most useful tool that I have found; just being aware of what I am thinking, how I am reacting. Separation is such an unnatural state that it requires a lot of effort to hold it in place. Learning to recognize the kind of thinking I use to do this is the first step in the undoing process. Awareness of my emotions is helpful in this. If I feel angry, fearful, guilty, depressed, then I know that I am experiencing separation anxiety.

Anything that makes me feel unique and special signals a belief in separation. For instance, if I believe that I am a better mom than my friend is, I?ve made myself special and different from her. That thought has created a little gap between us, a place where we are not the same. The other side of the coin would be if I thought I was a worse mom than her. Again, I have made myself special, only this time I am especially bad. Good or bad, it doesn?t matter; a feeling of specialness, of uniqueness causes me to believe that I am different from my brother and therefore separate.

I have a couple of processes that I use to help me undo my separation thoughts.  Each of these processes requires my willingness to be healed, but allows the healing to be accomplished by the Holy Spirit. One of these is a simple three step process which I learned from Dan Joseph in his book, Inner Healing. I use this process every day, many times a day.

The first step is to be mindful of my thoughts so that I can catch separation thoughts as they occur. One day at work, I got a call from an angry customer. Someone in the office had messed up his order and he was threatening to buy from someone else. This would have cost me a lot of money and I was really upset. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. It was a careless mistake made by someone who should know better. What did she care? It wasn?t her money. I started to notice that my neck was stiff and that and that I was getting a headache.

My anger and fearful reaction, as well as my body?s response to these separation thoughts brought me up short. I could see what I was doing, but it was hard to halt the forward movement of my reaction. But that is OK. I am not expected to do my own correction, just be willing to see things differently.

The second step is to give these thoughts which represent my beliefs, to the Holy Spirit for correction. I knew that this was not the truth and that I wanted another way to think. I asked the Holy Spirit to correct my thoughts and heal my mind of the belief in separation. I gave Him all my thoughts about being afraid of losing a customer (my belief that I was separate from God, my Source), and I gave Him all my thoughts about my brother being the cause of my discomfort (my belief in our separation).

The third step is to allow myself to feel the love and comfort of God. It is in that little space of time that I allowed the work to be done. I didn?t try to think my way out of this, making excuses for people I clearly found to be at fault. I just gave it to the Holy Spirit with the clear expectation that He would know what to do about it.

Because I did this process, I was able to release my anger, and when I spoke to the office, it was from a place of love. We figured out what went wrong and fixed the problem. If I had stayed in anger, I am sure I would not have received such cooperation, and I am equally sure I would not have been so calm and certain when I called my customer. Who knows how it might have turned out?

What makes this process different than other processes I have tried is the miracle a change in perception makes. Mostly in the past, my efforts were directed toward behavioral modification rather than true change at the level of cause. When I invite the Holy Spirit into my mind, there is a healing from outside the ego.

Another process I have found helpful is imagining. The Course suggests this and Brent Haskell describes it beautifully. Here is an example of how I use this. I had a bump on my lip that wouldn?t go away. It had persisted for several weeks, seeming to get smaller then returning to full size. The longer it stayed the more fun the ego had with it. My mom had skin cancer more than once and so I started thinking about that. I thought about getting an appointment with the doctor, but then decided to use this process instead.

I sat very still for a moment and imagined. I imagined what it would be like to know that this body is not me. I am not even in this body, but only directing it to play out my choices within this illusion. How does this feel, I asked myself, and then I allowed myself time to just sit with that feeling and to experience it. I wondered, how would it feel not to be afraid of this, and then I allowed myself to experience not being afraid.

I imagined what it would be like to know that I am spirit, the holy Son of God, perfectly created by a perfect God, completely and forever unchanged. I felt my power in God and knew that all things are my choice, and that I am free to change my mind. I allowed myself to feel that; to experience that truth. And as I allowed myself to experience the truth of who I am, I felt freedom ?begin to seep into my soul.?

Later that day, I noticed the bump on my lip was gone. My healing didn?t come because I used the right words, or said the right affirmations. It came because I allowed myself to experience the truth; that I am part of God. That I choose everything that comes into my life, and so I choose everything that leaves my life. I do this through the power that is in me as God?s Son.

That bump was just a symptom.  I wanted to heal more than the symptom and so I went to the source of the problem which was my confusion about who I am. This process works because it is not about thinking, and reasoning my way out of a problem-both ego activities. It is about experiencing; being. In this experience I reached my highest Self, and so again, I went outside my ego for healing.

It is essential that I remember healing takes place from the inside out. To be truly healed, it must happen at the level of thought, not at the doctor?s office or the pharmacy. Those are just tools we use within the illusion, a way of giving ourselves permission to heal. They only work if we decide they do. If I am unable to accept healing in any other way, I take medicine and that’s ok. I am not loved any less by God because of it. I simply recognize that I am using magic and that the real healing was in my decision to recognize my union with God and my brother. 

It is possible for us to heal each other. Our minds are not separate. The power of one mind can shine into another. In order to be helpful to our brother we must be very clear that sickness is an illusion. In truth, God did not create sickness so it cannot exist. Being helpful is a matter of learning to stand apart from the dream, but not the dreamer. Yes, I see that he thinks he is sick, that his body suffers, but what I know is that he is not his body. My focus is not on his apparent illness, but on his wholeness, his strength, and his perfection.

While pain is not the truth, in my illusion I certainly feel it. I would not find it helpful for someone to tell me that the migraine I am suffering is not real and neither is the pain. The reason that pain is such a convincing tool for the ego to teach separation is that it is so compelling, and so words may not be useful.

What is always useful is the joining of my brother at the level of mind. What is shared is strengthened. If I am sick, please overlook what seems to be happening in the body, and know for me that this is not who I am. That is the most helpful thing anyone can do for me.  Do your best to keep your attention on that, and not to be distracted by the illusory body. In truth, the strength of your conviction will weaken my belief in sickness. 

This is my practice. My body reflects my vigilance. When I am living an aware life and am allowing myself to experience my unity with God, my body is healthy. This is my condition more and more often. When I choose to live unconsciously, and I am in conflict and turmoil, my body reflects this, and I become sick. It is an excellent communication device, always keeping me up to date on how I am choosing to think.

When we are told that we need to change at the level of thought, this is what is meant. Changing my thoughts is not about chanting affirmations or self-talk about being free of addictions or being thinner, or disease free. It is about living in harmony and peace. It is about choosing to think not with the ego, but with God. It is choosing to recognize that I am not separate but am part of God with my brothers. As I choose to do this more and more often, my body will respond with health and vigor.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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WHAT IS IT FOR?

In this dream I think of as my life, there are many little dramas playing out. If I am living unconsciously, I think that they are just happening to me; that I am a victim of other people, of my environment, and let?s be honest, I think I am a victim of God. My unconscious lament becomes, ?Why me, God??

As I begin the process of awakening from this dream, I start questioning what everything is for. What if the dramas in my life did not simply appear there out of nowhere? What if there is a divine purpose, behind everything in my life? What if I knew that life would bring to me every experience I need to awaken me to my true identity? How would that change my perception of life, and how would that new perception change the way I choose to live?

As I begin to ask that all important question, ?What is it for?? I am starting to see my life in an entirely new way. The answer to that question is always that everything in my life is there to help me wake up from the dream. It is there to remind me of who I am in God. It is there to bring me back to my Father.

Knowing this is true, I see things differently than I used to. Life becomes simpler. So, how does this look in my life? I am going to use an example from my last marriage. While I was in the last years of that marriage (which was filled with drama) I had begun to think of the man I married as my enemy. He seemed to be dead set on making my life as miserable as possible. He was very controlling, and completely unwilling to see things differently. Worse, I felt trapped in the relationship, unable to extricate myself, and equally unable to make it better.

It was not until I had finally left the relationship that I began to get some clarity about it. By this time I had learned to ask that all important question, ?What is it for?? Because I had so many years of history in this relationship, it seemed like a very complicated issue, and took awhile for me to get clear on it.

I began to see that I had assigned some roles for this man to play out for me, and had decided that my happiness depended on his compliance. When he didn?t live up to those expectations and didn?t fill my perceived needs, I felt threatened and angry. We endured many dramas around these disappointed expectations. He had the same thing going on with him, and so we had dramas around his expectations as well. I thought all this was about unmet needs, and so we were on a merry-go-round, experiencing the same dramas over and over, getting nowhere; accomplishing nothing. Even when we seemed to have reached some kind of compromise, neither of us was happy and something else just popped up.

Our relationship seemed to be for establishing our victimhood. I felt victimized by him when he wouldn?t comply with my needs and I felt trapped in the situation. It felt like it was his fault that I was so miserable. He began to feel like my jailer. The whole thing seemed unsolvable, and just too complicated to even figure out.

When I was finally able to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and help and I was led to the question that needed answering, I began to see things so differently. What we were experiencing in that relationship wasn?t what it seemed to be. The answer to the question was that this relationship was for our spiritual joining. It was for our growth, and for our return to God. Understanding this, I see that we were not antagonists, but rather we were helpmates in the truest sense. Through our relationship, we brought into our lives the opportunity to learn forgiveness and love, which will bring us both closer to our true selves, and closer to recognizing our place in God.

Seeing this, I immediately recognized that I was not a victim in this, but a co-conspiritor with Greg. Together we were conspiring to create a holy relationship. Greg ceased to appear to me as an enemy, and became the bearer of gifts. All the dramas of our marriage, now seen through the filter of our sacred purpose, took on a new look. I could now see that our marriage was a stage to play out our lessons. And I can now honestly say that I am so grateful to him for the chance to learn with him.

Being able to answer the question, ?What is it for?? helped me to shift my perception. And with new vision provided by this shift, I see the whole marriage differently. I was not the victim, but the observer and the student. I was not locked in mortal combat with my enemy, but was learning to love with my dear brother in Christ. What a difference this new perspective makes! I might say that it is too bad I didn?t figure this out before the marriage ended, but that would fail to take into consideration the whole picture. A relationship does not have to look like a success to have provided the means for learning forgiveness. Greg and I learned what we could from this marriage, and that makes the relationship perfect.

I read something the Buddha said, and I apologize to him for any errors I make in interpretation. What I read went something like this: Act as if everyone in the world except for you is enlightened. They are all here to bring you gifts to help you become enlightened. How does this work in my life?

Again, it is just a matter of asking what everything is for. If someone disagrees with me about something, I can see that person as my enemy, or I can understand that the person is my brother bringing me the gift of enlightenment. Now I am free from being the victim. I am free from the depressing job of making her wrong and in justifying my anger. Instead, I am free to look for the gift. I am free to see her as the enlightened being she truly is behind the disguise of enemy.

Without guilt, anger, and fear clouding my mind, I can easily see that whatever is happening, the answer is always forgiveness. In forgiveness I return to love and to peace. I return to God. I remind myself that forgiveness has nothing to do with seeing anyone wrong. It has nothing to do with pardoning a wrong. It is all about knowing that my brother could never be wrong, and if that is true about my brother, it is true about me. So forgiveness is seeing the innate innocence in everyone. It is in this innocence that I find my place in God.

So what if I am in disagreement with someone I know, and I have asked for a new way to see the situation, and my prayer is answered as it always is.  I am no longer angry or upset with her, but what if she is still upset with me? How am I supposed to handle that? As I ponder this question, it occurs to me that in order for love to be love it must be unconditional, and if I need her to love me back I have just put a condition on it. Why not forget about who loves me, and just focus on loving the innocent being that my brothers are. Life becomes very simple when you know what it is for.

So that telemarketer who called me during supper and acted like I was the one with a problem when I didn?t want to talk to her is not wrong. She is not in error. She is just a messenger from God bringing me an opportunity to remember our innocence. Yes, even telemarketers are perfectly innocent. In fact, if the Buddha was onto something, they could all be very enlightened beings, busy, busy helping millions of people become enlightened through forgiveness!

There is an exercise that I use to help me work through the problems I have with seemingly difficult people. If you like, you can join me right now in doing this process. Just think of one person in your life who seems dead set on being a problem for you. It doesn?t matter if it is merely an annoyance, or if they seem to be trying to destroy you. Loss of peace is as total when it is caused by the little things as it is when it is caused by those things we think of as big. It can be an ex spouse, a challenging teenager, a co-worker, even a clerk in your neighborhood store. Think about how you feel when you are with them. Think about the form your conflict takes. Think about the ways you blame them for your frustration, unhappiness, or fear.

OK, that?s enough! It is very easy to get caught up in that part of the exercise and never get past the blame! Now that you have it clear in your mind what is bothering you and how that feels, pretend for a moment that your antagonist is really a messenger from God. Imagine this person smiling at you and telling you how much God loves you and how much He wants you to be happy. He tells you that God sent him to help you learn about your innocence, through learning to see the innocence in him. Does it seem hard, he asks? This is only because you are so close to enlightenment that you are ready for the lessons that feel big. This messenger of God is so happy for you, and so excited for you.

Now imagine your gratitude for him welling up in you and filling your heart. Imagine your excitement at the idea of finally waking up to your true self as God created you. In your joy and appreciation for this person who is helping you, you reach out and hug him. You thank him for his help. You thank him for sharing the awakening process with you.

We end this process with gratitude. Thank you, Holy Spirit for healing this relationship and making it holy. Thank you for showing me the truth of my brother.

The next time you are in disagreement with your brother, or are faced with a difficult person or situation, remember to ask what it is for. The answer will always be that it is for your enlightenment. Knowing this, it becomes easy to forgive the situation or the person, and as you do so, you loosen the hold it has on you, and you experience your freedom and your joy!

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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