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Self Imprisonment

I have been upset about something happening in my life. The details are not important because I really do see they are just symbolic of all the little dramas that I participate in. One drama is truly no different from the next one except in form. Sometimes, a drama comes along and I watch it for a few minutes, give it to Holy Spirit and go on as if nothing had happened which is exactly true; nothing happened. But sometimes, like now, I hold onto the drama and suffer awhile. After it is over and I have finally released it, I wonder why I did that. But while it is going on, I can’t remember how to get free of it, or seem unable to make that decision to do so. This used to be frightening to me because I thought it meant that somehow, maybe I really could not let go. If it was up to me and yet I was the one resisting, I was doomed. Circular ego thinking would keep me trapped longer. But over time, after watching this happen many times, I now understand that eventually I will come around to sane thinking because I can only stand so much pain.

I was talking to the Holy Spirit about this particular drama this morning and asking Him why I could not get lose from this, and what I needed to do. In my mind I saw myself standing behind bars, clutching them in a white knuckled grip, longing to be on the other side. The Holy Spirit told me to look to the right, and I saw the bars ended within a few feet. He told me to look to the left, and again the bars ended. They were connected to nothing above or below. The only way they remained upright was that I was holding them in place. The reason I was holding on so tightly was to keep the bars in place. As long as I looked straight ahead at my drama, and did not glance in any other direction, I was able to keep the illusion of being a victim in place.

I asked the Holy Spirit why I do this. He reminded me that just this morning He had guided me to read something that He had given Regina. It said:

You may ask why you would choose the pain of resistance when you could experience peace. The answer is simple and one I am sure you have not overlooked. You choose resistance because you choose not to know fully that which you are. Resistance serves your choice to know yourself not as you are.

Even now, I seem reluctant to let the bars go, and the Holy Spirit gave me a thought that I have invested a lot of time in this victim stance. I have gotten pretty comfortable in my suffering. But I remain both prisoner and jailer so it is up to me to make a new choice.

As I sat in silence listening to the Voice for God, I received another reminder; I am the ruler of my kingdom, I created this situation and it is good. It has brought me right to this moment that shows me what it is like to experience imprisonment, and it allows me to see that as easily as I did that, I can experience freedom. Both are in the kingdom of my mind. Which do I choose? I am the maker of all that I experience.

Acceptance of all that is, just as it is, allows all the resistance to melt away. I feel the knot in my stomach loosen; I feel the muscles in my jaw unclench. I no longer look at my creation (my drama) as something bad that I need to fight my way out of. It is perfect and brings me the gift of release. How can I release the energy of fear if I do not know I hold it, or why would I want to if I do not realize how painful it is? By experiencing it in a way that I can see and feel I recognize it as something that I do not want to choose again. And if I forget this lesson, I will set up another one to remind myself of what I no longer want. I could never be the victim of the world I see, but to know this is true, I must be willing to take full responsibility for everything that is happening in my life. And just on the other side of this acceptance is freedom.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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My Self is Ruler of the Universe.

While I may sometimes wish that my life is someone else’s fault, I know this is not true. And really, I only wish to abdicate responsibility briefly because I understand that I can do something about it if I am responsible. As always, the only solution to every seeming problem is to choose the Holy Spirit as my teacher. Holy Spirit, I feel like I understand this lesson and accept it. Is there anything you care to share with me about this?

Dear one, be very vigilant for the subtle ways the ego mind would have you place responsibility outside yourself. Be very vigilant for signs of guilt when you notice these moments. Guilt is not a helpful response. Notice your thoughts and release them. Think of guilt as holding tightly to what you don’t want.

The thing to remember always is that you are the source of your experience. This is always true and there are no exceptions. While your experience is comfortable for you it is easy to think about this. When you are feeling physically ill or when the bank account is low, or when the children are in trouble and you are feeling helpless to do anything, the ego will argue that you did not do this.

Ah Holy Spirit, I am thinking about last night when I was playing with the baby and thinking that it would be most inconvenient if I were to get her cold right now. That thought indicates it would be out of my control, that something outside me could be my cause.

Yes, those are the thoughts to watch for. There is nothing outside your holy mind, so how could something outside you give you anything. Remember that you are seeking to master your thoughts, not control your world. Watch closely as the world shows you a picture of your thoughts. Be always certain that if it is in your awareness it is your responsibility. If what you see is not a reflection of truth, acknowledge and release. I cannot take from you what you value and want to keep, but I will always purify those thoughts which you give to me.

Holy Spirit, where my mind balks is when I think of those things in my awareness but outside my immediate control, like what is happening in Iraq and when my child is having a problem. It is hard to understand what to do about any of that.

Precious child, the confusion you experience is caused from being uncertain who you are. It is so easy yet, for you to forget that you are the Christ, because you are not experiencing yourself as the Christ. You most often still feel like you are Myron, that you are a single body living among many other single separated bodies on a planet in a solar system. When you make this mistake, you feel very small and very helpless which is exactly what you want to feel when you identify with the ego. The ego is the thought of separation and separation is the thought of helplessness and hopelessness. But it is, in the end, only a thought, and it is a lie.

Within the thought of the body it is the delusion that you have control even over your immediate environment. Remember that control is a reaction to fear. It is not control that is the goal, nor is it the environment that is the problem. What is happening in Iraq is your responsibility because it mirrors the conflict in your mind. The same is true of what happens in the lives of your children. The ego would run around trying to influence politicians. The ego would be frantically seeking solutions to everyone’s problems. Of course this would ultimately fail and the ego would have proven the point that you are helpless and hopeless.

There is only one place that you can make a change because there is only one place where the problem exists. Look within your mind for the source of all things. The war in Iraq is simply showing you that you hold the energy of conflict within your mind. Forgive yourself for doing so. Forgive the idea of conflict and you will know it is a lie. Do not confuse that with making the war stop in Iraq. Your responsibility is to make it stop in your mind, and even in that is your responsibility limited to noticing the need to do so, being willing to release all value you have in conflict, and allowing me to heal your mind.

You may at first think it is a simple matter to release all value in conflict, but you are heavily invested in this idea.  However, if you make the decision to change your mind, the opportunities for looking at conflict will arise before you and you will be given a chance to see differently. Choose to be aware of them and not to push the thought aside. Each time you want to push the thought of conflict out of your awareness understand that this is your attempt to keep conflict. This is the result of placing value in conflict.

If you choose not to look at the conflict in your life it is because you still think you might need it one day. When you notice this happening, simply be aware. Do not allow your mind to succumb to the ego desire for guilt. Choosing not to look is just another thought and you can see this differently, too.

Thank you, Holy Spirit for helping me to see this. I am willing to release conflict. I am willing to take total responsibility for everything in my awareness. I trust that I will be given the opportunities that I am ready for and that will be most helpful to my awakening.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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I Am in Danger Nowhere in the World

I am in danger nowhere in the world.

In order for this lesson to be meaningful to me I must understand where I am. Sometimes I know that I am not really a body on a planet spinning through space. Sometimes I understand that I am the mind which contains these thoughts that I am seeing as if it were real. It is something I understand, but don’t really know. As I practice this understanding by unraveling the ego thinking with the help of the Holy Spirit within my mind, I come closer and closer to knowing it to be true. It seems to be a step by step process for me.

The closer I come to the knowing, the more meaningful this lesson becomes to me. One thing I am doing right now is asking to see the fear within myself. I want to feel the fear and understand that fear does not hurt me. I want to look at the thoughts that cause the fear reaction and allow the Holy Spirit to correct those thoughts. Because I set that intention, I notice these thoughts coming up. Because I don’t want to run from the emotional response I am feeling the fear very strongly. This seems to help me, because before I would bury the thoughts that were causing the fear and I never get rid of them.

I have had some interesting things happen since I made that decision. There was the ferry incident that I talked about in another lesson. There have been fearful reactions within relationships. It doesn’t seem to matter if it seems to be happening in the world, or within my mind, I can still feel the fear, look at the thoughts with the Holy Spirit and ask for healing. One thing I notice is that when I allow myself to really feel my reaction to these fearful thoughts I am surprised at the intensity. Evidently I have spent a lot of time telling myself that I wasn’t really afraid of these things anymore and so didn’t need to look at them. And evidently, that was not true.

My work is nearly all outdoors, often in rural areas, and sometimes I am alone when I do it. Yesterday while I was returning to my car I noticed a large white dog coming toward me. I used to be very afraid of dogs and over time I lost that fear…I thought. Suddenly I became terrified of the dog. Thoughts of being attacked, such as I had read about in the paper, flashed through my mind, and overwhelmed any sensible thoughts I was having at the same time. My fearful thoughts consumed me. I made a dash to the car and barely beat the dog to my front seat. As I quickly closed the door I nearly hit the poor thing and he scurried off probably wondering what got into the crazy lady, or why it was some people just didn’t want to say hi.

I sat there and noticed my reaction. My heart was pounding and my breath was quick. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body. I was so surprised by my reaction, and I felt silly as well. When I faced the ferry fear I had been building toward looking at the fear so I was somewhat prepared, but this incident was sudden and unexpected. After it was all over, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see these fear thoughts differently. Holy Spirit, what am I supposed to do with this, and how am I supposed to see it?

Dear one, could you be willing to forgive yourself for holding that energy of fear? Could you be willing to forgive yourself for looking foolish in front of people? Could you forgive yourself for falling short of your own expectations, and for not living up to what you thought you believed? Could you understand that this energy of fear is just something you are holding in your mind temporarily? It is not who you are.

Do not forget that your part is to look at the fear and to be willing to see differently. You did that. There is nothing more for you to do. Are you really asking me how to not react in that way again? Are you really afraid of the feeling of being so vulnerable?  Forgive yourself, and then forgive others for temporarily holding the same energy of fear in their minds.

Holy Spirit, I think you are referring to the other question I had in mind. I have been puzzled about why I am upset with a friend who seems to have a sudden lapse in understanding of a primary Course principle. I seem to be taking it personally, as if it is an affront to me that she would do this. So you are saying that she is dealing with her fear and that my fear is just as illogical as hers?

I am saying to you that it does not make sense to protect the body when you know the body is not real. When you think it is real, you feel compelled to protect it. Our friend is only protecting something she has temporarily forgotten is not real. It makes perfect sense that you are both protecting the unreal if you consider that you don’t know it is unreal. When you see her do it, you feel uneasy because a part of you recognizes that you are doing the same thing, and not just with a dog. That incident was just a symbol of what is happening in your mind every time you defend an ego thought.

It will be easier to understand if you look at the dog as representing an ego thought. You saw the dog, had a fearful reaction and ran from it. Is this not what you often do with the ego thoughts you encounter in your mind? What if you had stopped within the fenced yard and asked Me to correct your thoughts? The result would have been different just as it often is during your day when you take those steps.

When you simply react, you give power to ego thinking that it does not really have, just as you gave power to the dog it did not have. Your mind turned a friendly dog looking for an affectionate pat on the head into a rabid animal out to tear you limb from limb. Your thoughts are much the same. They are simply thoughts with no particular meaning, and you decide what that meaning is depending on which teacher you are listening to. When you experience a fearful reaction in the world or within your own mind, stop for a moment and ask for my interpretation.

Then when your friend is experiencing resistance you will not project your own fear onto her because you have forgiven it. You will then be able to feel compassion rather than judgment. Never forget that you cannot see anything that is apparently without unless you have first seen it within. The place to work is never at the level of effect, but always at the level of cause. Look with Me at what needs healing within your mind. That is always the answer.

Thank you, Holy Spirit for untangling these thoughts for me. Sometimes I get caught up in the ego thinking and have trouble stepping back from it and seeing clearly. It really is quite simple and it is always the same answer, just different form.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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I rule my mind, which I alone must rule.

This is one of the first lessons that I typed out and posted on my wall. I looked at it frequently because recognizing that my thoughts are the source of all that I think I am and that I have control over those thoughts was new to me at that time. It was the most liberating thing that I had ever learned, but took a lot of practice to make it part of my mindset. I still fall back into the habit of thinking that someone or something else sourced my discomfort, and must remind myself that only my thoughts do that. It is absolutely essential that I take responsibility for my thoughts, otherwise how can I give my mind to God? I can’t give what I don’t believe is mine.

I practice this in many ways. I had an interesting experience yesterday. I was driving on a road next to a beautiful lake and admiring the lovely homes built beside it. I began to wonder how the people got to the homes as I could see no driveways from the road. Then I realized that the driveways were there, but you could not see them from the roadway because the drop off was so steep. I have a problem with this. I have learned to live with heights, but have never gotten over my discomfort with them. I am particularly uncomfortable with steep drop offs where you can’t see where you are going. This is the kind of thing that really messes with a control freak.

Lately I have asked the Holy Spirit to help me look at every fear in my mind and so when I realized the driveways went straight down and nearly to the lake (my other unresolved fear is water) I felt the fear coming up. I was tempted to push it down. After all, who wants to go from a great day to a scary day? But I remembered my purpose and let it come over me fully. The fear was very strong. I had not realized how frightened I was because I had learned to control the feelings, but of course that doesn’t make them go away.

It really took my breath away as I thought about turning onto one of those driveways and driving straight down toward the water, protected from a sure and horrible death by height and drowning, only by unreliable car brakes.   I told the Holy Spirit that I was willing to be wrong about this. I was willing to be free of the fear of heights and water. I was at least willing to drive by this lake without experiencing fear. Though, I admitted, I didn’t know how to go about changing these thoughts, I knew that He had the answer.

Well, later in the day I needed to get from a very out of the way place to the road home and my customer told me I could save time by taking the ferry across the river. This is not my favorite thing to do, but I had learned to overcome my fear about ferries because it would make my travel almost impossible if I didn’t. I had never been on this ferry but I was tired and wanted to get home so I followed his directions.

Just getting to the ferry was a little strange, in a scary movie kind of way. It was a small windy road next to a levy which holds back enough water to wash away the state. I don’t enjoy knowing that much water is right next to me. There is absolutely no one else on this windy out of the way road that gets smaller and smaller until it is just a gravel road. So I was feeling vaguely uneasy when I got to the turn off for the ferry, which by the way, wasn’t even marked. I guess you just have to know it is there if you want to use it.

As soon as I turned onto the road I knew I was in trouble. It goes up at an angle and then drops off into nothingness at which point I assume is the water that has been held back by the levy all these miles. I parked my car partway up to the drop off and walked gingerly toward it. Yep, I was right; straight down into the river. Oh boy! I could only wonder if it was too late to take back my decision to change my mind about my fears of heights and water!

Too late, here comes the ferry which crosses only when it sees a car waiting. So I sat there and talked to Holy Spirit. I told Him that I was still willing to do this without fear and asked Him to show me how to do it. He has a great since of humor because He reminded me that only this morning I had decided to not only release fear thoughts, but to accept joy and to live my life with a sense of fun and adventure.

Was He kidding?! I was supposed to drive down that steep drop off straight toward the water and hope I didn’t miss the ferry and plunge into a watery death? And, I was supposed to have fun doing it? Not only that but I was looking at the oldest most rickety ferry I had ever seen. Well, the only thing to do was to be willing to release my fear thoughts. They are my thoughts and I can keep them or I can choose a different Teacher, and I had made that choice.

The thought that I was given was to practice being completely present. This is the opposite of what I usually do in these situations. Generally, I put my mind someplace else when I am uncomfortable. But my guidance was clearly to be present. I am glad I have been practicing this because it made it easier. I noticed that I am experiencing myself in a body and that body is sitting in a car on a boat in a large body of water. I felt my weight against the car seat. I noticed how it felt to be moving on the water and the water splashing up against the side of the ferry. I noticed my feelings and was surprised to find that I was enjoying myself! Well, maybe the Holy Spirit knows what He is doing after all.

I am ever amazed at how beautifully my life unfolds as I walk steadily onward toward truth. I am given everything I need to take the next step. Each experience is an opportunity to go home. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for showing me the way.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Lesson 235

As I read the last paragraph of this lesson which says that I have no sin in me because there is none in God, it is perfectly clear why I am safe and could never be harmed. But that is not my experience so it must be that I don’t really believe this. I thought I did believe that God created me as part of Himself forever, therefore I can have nothing in me that He does not have in Him. Holy Spirit could you help me to understand why my experience does not match my belief.

You do hold in your mind the thought that you are created by Love as Love. You are able to understand logically that this means you are like God and therefore could not be sinful or suffer the effects of sin. However, that is not the only belief you hold in your mind. You also hold the belief that you did indeed sin against God, and that you deserve punishment. Therefore sin is born anew in your mind each time that idea is brought into awareness. You don’t notice that this is what is happening because the thought seems to take other forms.

Yesterday you allowed a memory to come up for healing. You thought about a time when you were younger and you were very unkind to your mother. Do you remember how you felt when you reviewed the incident in your mind? You said just thinking about your unloving behavior made you feel like throwing up. You felt very strong guilt, and it seemed to be about your behavior toward your mom, but this is just the mind replaying the sin of betraying God. All of the relationships in your life are opportunities to choose again to decide for ego or for God.

You were holding guilt so intense that the thought of it made you feel physically ill. That guilt seemed to be about your mom but that was just the form it took. The content is always the same; you think you sinned and so you think you are no longer part of God. This is the source of your guilt, your anger, your fear and all things that seem to hurt you. Now I want you to look at something else. There is a voice in your mind that tells you God is the source of your guilt, that it is God who is angry with you and disappointed in you. This voice says that you hurt God with your behavior and that he is going to punish you. In your mind, God becomes the source of all your fears.

Consider this instead: God has no part in any of this convoluted thinking on the part of egoic mind. God did not accuse you of anything. God does not care that the body of Myron was mean to the body of Mom. God does not even know the dreams of this illusion. He created His Son perfectly free and if His Son wants to play in a dream world and pretend to live and die and have dramas in between, God says yes, play away! But He does not become delusional about the dreams; God does not believe in them. Why then would He call you sinful because you dreamed an unkind drama with your mom?

Who then is the source of your fear?  It can only be yourself. You source all that happens to you. Please consider this thought carefully: You source all that happens to you. If you feel guilty it can only be you who made yourself feel guilty, and therefore it can only be you who forgives. That is why the forgiveness of yourself is the first step in forgiving someone or something else. Forgive yourself for your projections onto others. Just as you have projected the guilty thoughts in your mind onto your loving Father, you are also projecting them onto the other dream figures in your illusion. Forgive yourself for doing this and there is nothing within you to project.

My dear child, you have no idea the beauty of God’s son without your projections to darken your view of them! As you continue your practice of allowing guilty thoughts to rise into your awareness and then forgiving yourself for your projections, you will begin to see a different world, and you will wonder how you could ever have thought your brother sinful. And as you allow your thoughts to be forgiven, you will be astounded at your own beauty as well. You are created in the image of God. Did you think you could be anything but beautiful?

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Yesterday I spent the day with one of those customers that you cannot please no matter what you do for them. I recognized that I was judging and that I was resentful toward her. I used a forgiveness process and thought that I had done my work. But then I noticed that I was still having judgmental thoughts about her. I searched my mind for those thoughts and asked for another way to see. Again I thought I was through. Then when I got ready for bed and was putting the day to rest, I noticed that I felt very uncomfortable about this issue. Now not only was I unforgiving toward her, but I was unforgiving toward myself as I felt guilty for holding onto the grievance.

I thought about it and decided that this was one of those blessings in disguise. There was something within myself that needed healing and I just wasn’t getting it. So I asked the Holy Spirit to work with me in my sleep where I might be less resistant. This morning I saw that I was at the Forgiveness page in the workbook and thought how appropriate that was. And I am sure that it was no coincidence that the CD I was listening to yesterday was on forgiveness. Once we commit to awakening, what we need to awaken is provided. This customer is a perfect example of that, and the fact that what I needed to deal with it was right there at hand is another example.

I love Jesus’ discourse on forgiveness. I have read it with different ears at different times in my life, each time bringing me a little deeper into the meaning. This morning it was perfect for my forgiveness lesson. I read: Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. I have read that many, many times over the years. At first it was meaningless to me, then as I became more open to hearing it, I began to understand. It has opened to me as a rose, each petal offering a awareness that is perfect for my immediate need and ability to understand. As I grow another petal unfolds bringing me deeper into the meaning.

Yesterday, I was hung up on the idea that my customer really was wrong. I kept trying to forgive her for something she clearly did. I don’t know why I couldn’t see that while it was happening. I guess I just didn’t want to be the one responsible for my anger. I didn’t even want to admit I was angry. I found it so easy to find evidence that she was wrong. She was acting selfish and self centered. She cared only about herself. She was unappreciative. I attributed my “annoyance” with the heat, and lord knows it was hot! I was dehydrated and exhausted. I was frustrated in not being able to fix her problem. I had so many reasons for how I felt and so much proof that she was wrong.

But no matter what it looked like, I knew that I was kidding myself, and the energy of blame and accusation was so unpleasant that by this morning I was more than ready to get serious about forgiveness. In the end it was just so simple. I looked at the situation knowing, really KNOWING that my customer is completely innocent. The weather is completely innocent. Starting from that absolute and unassailable truth, I was able to look at the feelings the situation brought up for me, and ask myself why I recognize them.

I began this by thinking that she was selfish and self centered. How do I recognize selfishness? It could only happen if I have been selfish and self centered myself. I thought of times when I have acted in this way. I paid attention to how it made me feel when I thought of those instances in my life when I acted in a self centered way. It didn’t feel good. It felt heavy and dark; not at all like the joy and lightness I had been experiencing before this came up. I knew that I was willing to forgive myself for being selfish in the past, for being selfish now, and for any selfish behavior in the future.

I don’t know how to forgive, but I know that the Holy Spirit will step in and accomplish forgiveness if I come to Him with willingness. I have learned that it is not a matter of logic; it is not a job for the thinking mind. It is easy to read the lesson and know what it means intellectually. But those words are just pointing me in the right direction. They do not cause forgiveness. For forgiveness to happen, I must want it wholly. I cannot want forgiveness and also to be right about my grievance. If I expect to forgive and to reap the rewards of forgiveness then the way to have that is to want forgiveness above all things.

To forgive I must be willing to see that it is always myself I forgive. The more quickly I move out of the idea that someone or something outside of me is the cause of my discomfort, the more quickly I can allow forgiveness. I don’t have to do anything to make forgiveness happen, but only be fully willing for it to happen. Yesterday while I was distracted by my need to see my problems as caused by something outside me, I couldn’t forgive. I was trying to hold two completely opposing thoughts at the same time while I was trying to forgive and at the same time judge. This morning, all I wanted was forgiveness and suddenly I was laughing at my obstinacy of yesterday. What seemed impossible yesterday, today simply is.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Only My Condemnation Injures Me

Only my condemnation injures me.”

“My condemnation keeps my vision dark, and through my sightless eyes I cannot
see the vision of my glory. Yet today I can behold this glory and be glad.”

All of my life I have thought that the world is the cause of my injury. I have thought that if only this person would not treat me this way, or if that situation had not happened, then I could be happy. My bad behavior could be explained as a normal reaction to someone’s attack, or because a situation provoked me. Even though I now know this is never true, my first reaction is still often that it is not my fault but someone else’s.

The difference now is that I don’t stay there. I notice when I am projecting and placing blame, and with the Holy Spirit’s help I withdraw those projections as quickly as I am able. I am now very uncomfortable when I am blaming and placing guilt outside myself, and just as uncomfortable when I do it to myself. I quickly change my mind. Well, sometimes I resist awhile, and it seems to require a lag in time for me to accept a new way to see it. But always, I do it.

This lesson speaks of dark vision and sightless eyes and this is an excellent description of what it feels like to blame and condemn. It is like dark clouds have rolled in and blocked the light from my life. I completely lose sight of who I am and my awareness shifts from the glory of being God’s only Son. In condemnation I see myself as only a body in competition with other bodies, living in time and space. I feel heavy, dark, and utterly lost. It feels foreign and yet depressingly familiar.

I think of identifying with the ego as being stuck in quicksand. It seems to draw me relentlessly down into the muck of ego thinking. The only way to free myself is to remember that nothing draws me except by my own decision to allow it. The ego is nothing without my support. I created it, and it is sustained only by my belief. If I withdraw my awareness from it, it will cease to exist.

This thought is both exhilarating and frightening. The quicksand of ego thinking may be an entrapment, but it is one of my own making. It may be depressing, but it is familiar and it is my own choosing. I seem to be reluctant to entirely give it up. What if I need it later? What if someone does something so bad that I don’t want to forgive it? What if I don’t like being glorious and want to be small and insignificant again? What if I decide that I can’t handle being perfect and joyous and miss drama and excitement and chocolate? The ego tries to entice me into not quite letting go.

But I must choose; one or the other. I cannot be God’s Son and have a little ego thinking in reserve. God is Whole and there is no separation in Him. There is no little of this and little of that. There is only God. To know myself as existing in God, I must know myself as complete and whole. So I practice letting go of ego thinking. I practice turning my attention from ego to God. I practice tuning out the ego voice and listening only to the Voice for God. As I experience the utter peace and joy this brings me, and as I notice how this contrasts to life as an ego thought, as a body living in fear and condemnation, I am more and more willing to choose God.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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